This document provides information on effective communication techniques, power dynamics in relationships, and family systems theory. It discusses 15 techniques for effective communication, such as making communication a priority, avoiding negative statements, saying positive things about your partner, and establishing eye contact. It then discusses power in relationships, noting that an imbalance of power can negatively impact satisfaction, self-esteem, and encourage manipulation. Several types of power are defined, including coercive, reward, expert, legitimate, referent, and informational power. The document concludes by outlining key concepts of family systems theory, including that family members are interconnected, the whole family must be understood to understand parts, establishing boundaries, maintaining homeostasis, and family rules around communication.

1. Discussion 1
sociology discussion question and need the explanation and answer to help me learn.
Respond to 2 or more of the following questions. Be sure to follow the guidelines listed in
the discussion forum rubric so that you may earn the full points possible for this forum.
Don't forget the 600 minimum word requirement, to include a citation from the assigned
reading and/or module and your own personal experiences. Also, reply to at least 2
classmates' posts. Review the discussion forum rubric below.
Discuss two of the techniques you learned about in the module for effective communication
that you would like to work on in your own communication. Explain what you think you
could do to incorporate these techniques into your communication (with a partner, child,
parent, sibling, friend, or other loved one).
Discuss an example in where you were in a relationship (friend, co-worker, partner, etc.) in
where your communication was negatively impacted by power. Review the power and
communication section in the module before completing your response.
You learned about the Principle of Least Interest in this module. Do you agree with this
theory? Why or why not? Include an example to illustrate your response.
Apply one of Raven's Types of Power to a relationship to your own life. Illustrate with an
example. (can be a previous or current partner, a friend, a family member, etc.). Ps: i will
provide the module and the rubric for the discussion. Thank you
Requirements: 600+ words
Family Discussion Forum Rubric Requirements There will be two assigned discussion
forums for this class this semester. Links to designated discussion forums will be included
in the weekly folder on the class website in Canvas. Click on the link to begin. I would
highly recommend that you create your response for each forum in a text-editing program
and save it. Then copy and paste your answer to the forum and submit before the due date.
Discussion forum responses should be thorough, detailed, and answer or respond to all
questions or prompt instructions. Discussion responses should be a minimum of 600 words
for each forum. Be sure to include an example, cited, from the textbook, a journal article, or
other relevant sources to support your response. Finally, illustrate your thoughts with a
real-life example. Including a real-life example demonstrates your understanding of the
concept, theory, etc. that is being discussed. Remember to state your responses in your
own words. Finally, you will need to reply to at least two classmates’ responses for each
assigned discussion forum. Reactions should not be simple statements such as “I agree” or “I

2. disagree” but rather a complete explanation of why you agree or disagree. Another way to
respond to a classmate is to share another example that is similar to the model this person
shared, etc. Replies should be well thought out statements and/or questions. Steps 1.
Address discussion forum prompts, writing in your own words. 2. Include real life examples
that support what you are writing about. 3. Cite one or more sources (textbook, modules,
other credible sources) in APA format to support your points. 4. Reply to two or more of
your peers’ posts. Learning Outcomes Met 1. Students will apply key sociological concepts
related to sociology of family. 2. Students will compare, contrast, and critique major
theoretical and epistemological orientations in sociology including functionalism, conflict,
interactionist, and feminism. 3. Students will demonstrate critical thinking from various
sociological perspectives. 4. Students will show clear and effective written and oral
communication skills. 5. Students will demonstrate a critical understanding of power,
privilege, and oppression across a range of cultures, human experiences, and the
intersection of social locations and historical experiences, including their own.
Rubric Criteria Rubric Ratings Word Count 600+ word count requirement. The student
addresses prompt/s in 600+ words and demonstrates and understanding of the content. 8
Points The student's post was 600+ words and addressed the content in the prompt. 4
Points The student's post is less than 600+ words required. 500 – 598 words. Or not all
prompt items addressed. 1 Point The student's post is less than 600+ words Student’s post
is 400 – 499 words. Or not all prompt items addressed. 0 Points Word count below 499
words or prompts not addressed. Or main post not completed. APA Citation 1 or more
Citations in APA format added. Citations in APA format used to support post Student cites
at least 1 or more credible sources in APA format to support points being presented or
argued in post. Sources could be textbook, module content, scholarly journals, books,
educational institutions, government agencies, or non-profit organizations. 2 Points 1 or
more APA citation. 2 Points 1 or more citation but APA format needs fixed. 1 Point Student
referred to a source, but APA citation not met. 0 Points The Student did not include
citations in APA format from credible sources. Real Life Examples Real-life examples
described supporting post. The student refers to real-life examples or current events that
illustrate the student's understanding of the content. X 2 Points Student described real-life
examples and related to the prompt and post. 1 Point Example included but needs
elaboration 0 Points The student did not include real-life examples to demonstrate an
understanding of the content.
2+ Replies to Peers Student has replied to two or more peers' posts. Posts should be
thoughtful and expand beyond a simple "I agree" or "I disagree", etc. Replies should be at
least a few sentences each and are meaningful. 3 Points The student replied to two or more
peers' posts with meaningful replies. 1.5 Point The student replied to one other peer's post
with a meaningful post. .5 – 1 Point Student replies but replies were not meaningful or very
basic structure, such as “I agree”. 0 Points The student did not reply to any peers' posts.
Choices for Effective Communication
1. Make the choice that communication is a priority.
When you are spending time with a person, it is important to focus on that person without
interruptions. This means putting down one's phone and not texting or surfing the net, not

3. watching television, etc.
2. Avoid negative and hurtful statements to your partner or loved one.
Avoiding negative comments to your partner or loved one is important for a healthy
relationship. When discussing negative feedback or communicating discontent with your
partner, it is important to avoid derogatory comments or insults.
3. Say positive things about your partner.
Complimenting your partner or friend is associated with more positive and stable
relationships. Telling your partner you look terrific or complimenting the person on
attributes you admire are associated with relationship satisfaction.
4. Establish and maintain eye contact.
Shakespeare stated that a person's eyes "are the mirrors to the soul." Looking into your
partner's eyes when communicating is picking up on non-verbal communication, how the
person is feeling, and showing interest. Not making eye contact may be perceived as a lack
of interest and you may miss important non-verbal signals as to how your partner is feeling.
5. Ask open-ended questions.
Asking open-ended questions such as "how do you feel about your relationship" as opposed
to a close-ended question such as "are you happy in this relationship", allows for more
expression of one's feelings and a chance to tune into your partner's thoughts as opposed to
a one word answer.
11. Stay focused on the issue
When you are discussing a topic with a friend or family member, it is important to stick to
the issue. Let's look at an example. Jose is angry with his partner Dante for not calling him
when he is going to be late from work. Jose then discusses the issue with Dante. Let's then
say Jose starts bringing up the fact that Dante has been leaving his dirty laundry all over the
floor and a series of other things that come to mind. This is called branching. Branching is
defined as going out on a different limb of an issue rather than staying focused on the issue.
Jose should avoid branching and stick to the topic of Dante calling him when he is going to
be late.
12. Make specific resolutions to disagreements.
When two people are having a disagreement, it is best to come up with a resolution at that
time to avoid future disagreements about the same topic, thus leaving the issue unresolved.
13. Give congruent messages.
Congruent messages are those messages in which the verbal and nonverbal behaviors
match. For example, if a couple is having an argument and one partner states " I believe
you" and then proceeds to hug the other partner, this is a congruent message. If, however,
the person says " I believe you" but then proceeds to storm out the door and slamming it,
this would be a non-congruent message.
14. Share power.
Power is defined as the ability to impose one's will on the partner and to avoid being
influenced by the partner. When there is an imbalance of power in a relationship and
conflict over power, there will be dissatisfaction in the relationship. The Principle of least
interest states that the person who has the least interest in the relationship controls the
relationship.

4. Some examples of expressing power in a relationship include:
Withdrawal (not speaking to the other person)
Guilt induction ("how could you do this to me?"
Being pleasant ("Kiss me and get me a beer")
Negotiation ("We can go to dinner if we first do the laundry)
Deception (running up credit cards without other partner's consent or awareness)
Blackmail ("if you don't have sex with me, I will have to seek out someone else")
Physical abuse or verbal threats ("If you leave me, I will make sure you never see our
children again")
Criticism ("You are so stupid")
Dominance ("I am the one that makes the most money so I get to decide where we will
travel to").
Knox and Schacht also argue that power can take the form of love and sex. The person who
loves less in the relationship and who does not need sex as much can have a great deal of
control over the other person who loves more and needs sex more. This illustrates the
principle of least interest.
15. Keep the process of communication going.
Communication includes verbal and non-verbal communication and content and process
(interaction). Regular talking and focusing on one another are important in any
relationship. Reducing distractions, listening intently, and focusing on the other person is
important for ongoing healthy communication.
In traditional heterosexual relationships, the man has typically held the most power in
relationships, and in many parts of the world, husbands still dominate over their wives. In
modern U.S. society, many families have adopted a standard of equality, mostly when
women work outside of the home. In some marriages, power is then determined by
personality, that being the person with the more forceful personality and temperament may
be the more dominant one in the relationship. Although in many same-sex marriages power
is shared, there also still some same-sex relationships where one partner dominates over
the other.
Frieze (1978) defines power as "the ability to impose one's will on other people- to get them
to think, feel, or do something that they would not ordinarily have done spontaneously.
Power is not always a bad thing. What is vital in any relationship is a balance of power.
Feeling that one has a sense of control is essential in any relationship.
Brian K. Williams, Stacey C. Sawyer, and Carl M. Wahlstrom describe three power inequality
effects in a relationship.
It affects self-esteem. When a relationship is equally balanced in power, where decision-
making is shared, this fosters self-esteem and a healthier relationship.
It inhibits satisfaction, love, and sharing of feelings. When there is an unequal distribution of
power in a relationship, the less powerful person will feel a great deal of dissatisfaction with
the relationship and the partner. This imbalance in power may also discourage open and

5. honest communication from the less powerful partner.
It encourages manipulation. When there is unequal power in a relationship, this may lead to
struggles to gain control or keep power. A person with less power may, for example,
develop an illness, etc. to get the more powerful partner to do more housework, etc.
Bertram Raven and other researchers in the field have outlined six different types of power
that people will exercise in a relationship: coercive, reward, expert, legitimate, referent, and
informational.
Coercive Power
This type of power is based on the fear that a partner will inflict punishment. The
punishment may be emotional, such as being sarcastic, verbal abuse, or physical abuse. An
example may be a partner that submits to a partner's demands for sex for fear of being
beaten.
Reward Power
This type of power is based on your belief that your agreement with your partner will elicit
rewards from that partner. Rewards may be verbal, such as compliments or adoration, or to
stop a partner from nagging.
Expert Power
Expert power is based on your opinion that your partner has specialized knowledge. Maybe
your partner is an expert at fixing household vehicle problems or at cooking healthy and
delicious meals.
Legitimate Power
Legitimate power is based on your partner's having the right to ask you and your having the
duty to comply. In some cultures or traditional marriages, for example, a wife is expected to
"obey" her husband. A more balanced power example could be that you ask your partner to
help clean up the dog waste in the backyard since you both equally wanted and agreed to
get a pet.
Reference Power
Referent power is based on your identifying with and admiring your partner and receiving
satisfaction by pleasing your partner. An example might be that you know your partner is
passionate about environmental issues and volunteering, so you learn more about
environmental issues and become more involved.
Informational Power
Informational power is persuasive power; you are persuaded by your partner that what
your partner wants is in your best interest. Perhaps one partner is more spiritual than the
other, so this person persuades the other partner that it would be a good example for their
children.
Robert Blood and Donald Wolfe (1960), developed the Resource Theory which suggests that
the balance of power in marriage reflects the relative resources of each spouse. Resources
may be money, education, one's occupation, sex, parenting skills, etc. The partner that has
more resources is able to make more of the decisions in the relationship. Two examples of
resources are money and sex. Typically the partner that makes the most income (usually
the husband in heterosexual relationships) has more decision power in how the money is
spent. Another example is sex. Sex can be a balance of power resources. Take for example

6. a millionaire older man who has economic power but submits to the sexual power of a
young model in her early twenties.
Opposing research though has also illustrated that even women who make more money
than their husbands, or even with stay-at-home fathers, often men still enjoy more power in
their relationships.
You may recall going over Family Systems Theory earlier in the semester. The key point of
family systems theory is that each part of the family system is interconnected and the only
we can really understand each part is by studying the whole.
Interconnecting
The first key assumption of Family Systems Theory is interconnecting. Family members
affect one another and when something happens to one family member, eventually impacts
all family members. The family system evaluates the interactions and interactions between
different parts of the family and their effect on each other. Think about when a family
member becomes unemployed, is diagnosed with a serious illness, etc. the other members
are impacted.
Looking a the Whole
The second key assumption of Family Systems Theory is the idea that if we want to
understand a smaller unit of the family, we must first understand the entire family unit.
Understanding the communication patterns in our family of origin is key to understanding a
sibling relationship, parent-to-child relationship, or even with an intimate partner.
Sociologist Kelly Welch argues that "the communication patterns that exist in our families
come about as a result of this concept of wholeness". Our interconnection with other family
members creates our own unique family reality that is unique and different from other
families.
Establishing Boundaries
The third assumption in Family Systems Theory is establishing boundaries. There are
closed boundaries, where no information comes in or goes out and on the opposite side of
the spectrum are open boundaries where information is so freely given that family
members lose their identity. Boundaries that are closed, no information that takes place, or
behaviors in the family system is shared outside of the family. This can create an unhealthy
family system just as too open, or open boundaries, where too much information is shared
and boundaries become unclear. Healthy boundaries are a balance of the two.
Maintaining Balance
The fourth assumption is the idea of bringing balance or homeostasis to a family system
when there is disruption. Disruptions may be internal or external. An internal disruption,
for example, might be a teen child that has become addicted to drugs. An external
disruption might be a natural disaster that causes the family to lose their home. The goal is
to restore balance in the family and it may be by healthy measures such as positive
communication and adaptability, etc., or unhealthy measures such as negative
communication.
Creating Rules
Families establish rules that govern family members and what they can discuss, share, and

7. how they interact with their own family members. Your family of origin, which includes
ethnic, cultural, religious, and multi-generational influences contributes to a family's rules
of communication. Communication professors Kathleen Galvin, Carma Bylund, and Bernard
Brommel suggested that there are several categories of rules for communication:
What we can not talk about.
Feelings that are allowed to be shared.
Decision making.
How we can talk about it.
Communication strategy.
Symbolic Interactionist Perspective - Communication_
We reviewed the Symbolic Interaction Theory earlier in the semester. Symbolic Interaction
Theory is an excellent approach to apply to communication in the family. Remember, this
theory suggests that we are continuously viewing and reacting to others' behavior, and our
dialogue with others is an exchange of messages and symbolic meanings between actors.
The main idea behind the Symbolic interaction theory is that individuals react according to
the meanings they interpret in a given situation. The goal of human interaction is to create
shared meanings that we communicate with one another.
Symbols
Each culture uses symbols or codes. There are universal symbols, such as the kiss to express
affection and language as all cultures use language to convey meanings to symbols.
Differences in symbols and not being aware of those differences can lead to
misunderstandings. For example, it is customary in the Middle East to stand very close to
others when communicating, whereas European Americans and African Americans tend to
prefer more distance when speaking.
Roles
Another critical component of the Symbolic Interaction theory is the idea of the role. We all
have different roles that we take within our families and outside the family. Sometimes we
are conflicted with the many demands we have from our various roles. You may remember
from Introduction to Sociology, role strain, and role conflict.
Communication
"Communication is the process of making and sharing meanings." Researchers Lynn Turner
and Richard West summarize the main ideas of communication:
Communication is a transaction.
Communication is a process.
Communication involves the co-construction of meanings.
Communication involves symbols.
Communication also involves verbal and non-verbal communication. Verbal communication
is spoken through words, messages, texts, etc. and non-verbal communication includes
facial expressions, hand gestures, eye contact, body movement, touch, and express
emotions.
Good listening skills are essential for maintaining quality relationships with others. Active
listening not only involves listing to what the other person is saying, but it is also listening
to how the other person is feeling. Family Researcher Herbert Lindgren has identified

8. ineffective or inadequate listening due to bad listening habits or styles. Have you been guilty
of any of these styles? Or have you conversed with someone with this listening style? Watch
the short lecture video and follow along below, or just review the styles on your own below
if you prefer.
1. The Faker
This person pretends to be listening but really isn't. This person may smile, nor or even
make a comment here and there but is not actually listening.
2. The Interrupter
People with this poor listening style are more concerned with their own thoughts and
feelings than they are about listening to what others have to say. They rarely let others
finish their thoughts without interrupting them. They do not pause much to reflect on what
the other person has said and quickly respond.
3. The Intellectual Listener
This person ignores non-verbal communication signals and only listens to the spoken words
of the other person. This type of listener also approaches the conversation in a rational,
logical way and does not connect with feelings or emotions.
4. The Self-Conscious Listener
Listeners of this style are more too concerned with their own status and how to impress the
other person, so a self-conscious listener does not listen with understanding. Self-conscious
listeners are forming thoughts in their heads as to what they will say.
5. The Judge and Jury Listener
Listeners of this style tend to judge the ideas and behaviors of others. They tend to be so
concerned about what the speaker is saying and how incorrect the speaker's ideas or
thoughts are, that they do not connect to the feelings or emotions conveyed by the speaker.
conflict is defined as the process of interaction that results when the behavior of one person
interferes with the behavior of another. Conflict is a natural part of relationships. All
relationships have conflict, but it is how we handle conflict that determines whether or not
our relationships are strengthened or fall apart. In our society, Crosby (1991) argues that a
conflict taboo exists which considers conflict and anger wrong. Conflict theory remember
argues that groups will compete with one another for power. The same is true for couples
or parents and children. There will be a conflict between power and resources. There is
positive and negative conflict. Below are some of the negative types of conflict family
researchers have identified. The following lecture video addresses the negative types of
conflict.
Repressed Anger
Repressed anger is the unconscious suppression of feelings of anger so that they are
expressed in other ways. One type of repressed anger is gunny-sacking- saving up, or
putting in an imaginary sack, grievances until they spill over. Gunny-sacking is the
harboring of resentment in an "emotional bag", waiting to spill out. In his book,
"Introduction to Psychology, Gateways to Mind and Behavior,"
Links to an external site.
social psychologist Dennis Coons, Ph.D., explains that "gunnysacking refers to saving up
feelings and complaints." Once you have opened up this bag of hidden resentment and

9. complaints, it may be difficult to keep emotions under control.
Passive-Aggression Passive-aggression is the expression of anger indirectly rather than
directly. This type of aggression is concealed through sarcasm, nagging, nitpicking, and
procrastination. The silent treatment is one variation of this type of aggression, which is
where the person ignores the partner or verbally say that things are all right while sending
nonverbal signals that they are not.
Scapegoating
Scapegoating is the blaming of one particular family member for nearly everything that goes
wrong in the family. Elliot D. Hammer describes Scapegoat Theory "Scapegoat theory refers
to the tendency to blame someone else for one's own problems, a process that often results
in feelings of prejudice toward the person or group that one is blaming. Scapegoating serves
as an opportunity to explain failure or misdeeds while maintaining one's positive self-
image." Click here if you would like to learn more about scapegoating
Links to an external site.
.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when one partner constantly criticizes or denies the other's definition of
reality, and negatively impacts the other's self-esteem
Researchers in Marriage and Family have identified several types or styles of how people
handle conflict. We will briefly address six styles.
1. Competing Style
In this style, the person is assertive and not willing to cooperate. This person believes any
conflict is a war that must be won. There is little concern for the other person and high
concern for oneself.
2. Parallel Style
In this style, both partners are unassertive and uncooperative. Both partners deny and
avoid any discussion of the problem and hope it will just go away. Partners may eventually
avoid one another and stop spending time together.
3. Avoiding Style
In this style, you are not concerned with your own interests or your partners but just want
to avoid confrontation altogether. The idea is to just keep the peace.
4. Accommodating Style
In this style, the person is unassertive but cooperative and takes a passive stance. If you
hold this style you do not try to argue your own case but rather try to understand the other
person and find harmony.
5. Compromising Style
In this style, you are somewhat assertive, but you are cooperative. You seek to find a
solution that will somewhat benefit you and your partner.
6. Collaborating Style
In this style, you wish to advance your own interests but also those of your partner. Your
goal is to find the best solution that will make both you and your partner happy and
satisfied. This style is the most ideal and is working together for real results.
Five Rules To Resolve Conflict & Fight Fairly

10. Attack problems, not your partner, & avoid negativity.
Focus on specific issues, use "I feel" language & avoid mixed messages.
Be sensitive about timing and place to address a problem.
Say what you mean, don't lie or manipulate & ask for what you want.
Let your partner know that you're really listening & work toward a resolution.
John Gagnon and William Simon were sociologists and sexologists from the 1970s and they
developed the idea that individuals learn how to be sexual through the culture that they are
raised in. They coined the term sexual scripts to describe how we internalize our culture's
specific expectations for sexual attitudes and behaviors.
The Sexual Scripting Framework suggests that society and culture shape how we determine
what we view as "sexual" and how we behave sexually. Sexual scripts are "shared, gender-
specific social and cultural expectations that guide our beliefs, attitudes, and values about
sex, such as beliefs about what is appropriate about sexual partners, sexual behaviors, and
sexual conduct" (Welch, p. 282, 2004). Our sexual scripts determine:
With whom we can engage in sexual relations
How we engage in sex (types of sex)
How often we participate in sexual relations