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"Dead Girls" by Micheline Auger
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- 2. INT. BEDROOM -DAY A pale arm hangs limply from beneath the covers. Bare feet exposed. A woman (late 20s) lies prostrate in the bed. Eyes closed, mouth open. The phone alarm RINGS. It’s 6:00 AM. EMILY’S eyes open. She grabs the phone and silences the alarm. INT. BATHROOM - DAY Emily washes her face. Looks up to mirror, soap dripping. EMILY I am a successful actress. No, I am a successful actor... I am a successful THESPIAN! INT. BEDROOM - DAY Emily puts on her running shoes. EMILY I’d like to thank the Academy... INT. KITCHEN - DAY She opens the fridge covered with inspirational notes. EMILY I’d like to thank the Tony voters... EXT. APARTMENT - DAY Emily starts her run. EMILY “I look good, I feel good, I should be in Hollywood. I look good, I feel good, I should be in Hollywood...” EXT. PARK - DAY Emily catches a glimpse of something underneath the leaves. An arm or something. She looks closer. It’s a dead girl. She looks closer. The dead girl is breathing. (CONTINUED)
- 3. EMILY Tanya? TANYA Oh! Hey! EMILY What areyou doing? TANYA (20s) jumps up. TANYA Were you running? I’ll join you. Gosh, what a beautiful day! She takes off. Emily runs after her. EMILY I thought you were dead! TANYA Really? Thanks! I gotta tell Larry. He’ll be so proud. EMILY Who’s Larry? TANYA “Who’s Larry?” You’re kidding, right? EMILY No. TANYA He’s the only acting coach worth studying with. BURPEE BREAK! EMILY What? Tanya jumps into plank, then a push-up, then pops back up. Emily follows suit, not quite keeping up. TANYA You should definitely take his class. He guarantees you’ll book something in the first month or your money back. Emily tries to catch her breath. CONTINUED: (CONTINUED) 2.
- 4. EMILY Really?! TANYA Yeah. You ok? EMILY Totally! TANYA Holdin plank. They hold in plank pose. EMILY FEELING GOOD! LOOKING GOOD! TANYA What? EMILY Nothing. TANYA You should start with his Auditioning for Dead Girls class. All the great roles for women are dead girls. EMILY Are you in that class? TANYA I’m in his advanced dead girls class. We cover decomposition, eye- glazing, and accents. EMILY Who cares about accents? TANYA Who cares? EMILY Yeah, they’re dead. TANYA Agents care. EMILY Why? Tanya starts doing squats. CONTINUED: (2) (CONTINUED) 3.
- 5. TANYA You've got tobe able to bring more to a dead girl audition than a really good stare. Like if you’re a southern dead girl, they really want to believe you had a soft lilting voice before you got tied up and mutilated. It helps us care about you. Emily watches Tanya and attempts to copy her. EMILY My friend Sara went out for pilot season last year and didn't have to learn one line because all they were looking for were dead girls. TANYA Did she book? EMILY What? TANYA Did she book? EMILY I think she booked three separate jobs. TANYA She probably brought her ice pack. Erect nipples need to be part of your wheelhouse, regardless of temperature. EMILY I can fence, speak with an Elizabethan accent, and ride a horse side saddle. TANYA You also want to be fuckable. She runs off. Emily follows her. EMILY What? CONTINUED: (3) (CONTINUED) 4.
- 6. TANYA I mean, it'snot PC to say anymore but it's true. Dead or alive, you have to look fuckable. I use visualization and positive affirmations. EMILY I heard this affirmation that I really like. It goes, “I look good. I feel good. I should be in Hollywood.” TANYA That’s awesome. All you need to do is change it to “I look dead. I feel dead. I should be in Hollywood.” EMILY Not quite the same ring. TANYA Keep working on it. Tanya stops to tie her shoelace. TANYA (CONT'D) Have you been to the Dead Girl exhibit at Madam Troussaud's Wax Museum? EMILY Oh, yeah... No. TANYA All the great TV dead girls are there: True Detective, The Killing, and, of course, the queen of all dead girls: Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks. EMILY Who? TANYA Oh, my God. Don’t let Larry hear you say that. Do your research. It’s part of being an actor. EMILY I went to Yale Drama School. CONTINUED: (4) (CONTINUED) 5.
- 7. Tanya stretches. TANYA You gottastart somewhere. EMILY And I was offered an adjunct teaching position at UCLA. TANYA You’ll make more money as a dead girl. But you should do it before it’s too late. Emily tries to touch her toes. EMILY What do you mean? TANYA If you’re over 30 and dead no one really cares. But don’t worry, you look young. Maybe lose a little weight. EMILY You really think I could make some money doing this? TANYA Oh, totally. If you’re lucky you can even book your body parts in crime shows. Larry has a workshop on Embodying Body Parts. It’s great. I got my SAG card doing that stuff. EMILY I have an MFA. TANYA Great! You'll probably get a few lines before they kill you. EMILY Have you booked anything? Tanya goes into a downward dog yoga pose. TANYA I just booked a new series playing the featured dead girl whose death turns this whole town upside down. CONTINUED: (5) (CONTINUED) 6.
- 8. Emily joins her. EMILY Iread about that! That’s the one that takes place in a small town in Denmark? TANYA No, that’s a different one. EMILY Is it the one that takes place in a small town in the Midwest? TANYA That actually didn’t get picked up. Don’t you read the trades? Emily's arms start shaking. EMILY Is it the one that takes place in a small town in the south? TANYA That’s network. Emily sits. EMILY I was actually thinking about writing my own pilot. TANYA Seriously. Start it with a dead girl. All good stories start with a dead girl. Did you see that special on Dateline? EMILY No. TANYA Oh my gosh, don’t tell Larry or Hollywood that you didn’t see that. EMILY I've been busy with Shakespeare in the Parking Lot. CONTINUED: (6) (CONTINUED) 7.
- 9. TANYA It was amazing.Archeologists actually discovered the original manuscript of the bible and it says, "In the beginning, God created a dead girl." Emily lies down. EMILY My niece confided in me that she wants to be a dead girl when she grow up. TANYA Have you seen the dead girl dolls?! EMILY What? Tanya rotates her hips. TANYA One has a little rope around her neck from being strangled, another has a fingernail missing, and the SVU edition comes with a little sperm sample jar. EMILY Do you think I should get her one? TANYA They’re a little pricey. If you can't afford it, you can just get the toe, I think. There's a little tag on it and you can write her name in. It's so cute. Emily gets up. EMILY I should probably take every class Larry offers. TANYA There’s a great "How to Take Larry’s Class" class that he teaches. It’s amazing. It made every other class after that like PHD-y. CONTINUED: (7) (CONTINUED) 8.
- 10. EMILY What? TANYA Like grad school.Upper level shit. Emily redoes her ponytail. EMILY But, honestly, I don’t think I’ve actually seen you in anything. TANYA Oh, you’ve seen me. EMILY No, I don’t think I have. TANYA Oh, you have. EMILY I’m pretty good at spotting people. TANYA Really? Maybe you recognize this... Tanya's eyes glaze over. TANYA (CONT'D) Or this... She tilts her head to the right. TANYA (CONT'D) Or this... She tilts her head to the left. EMILY Oh, my god! I saw you on NCIS! TANYA Exactly. EMILY Wow. That must have been great! You've really made it. Tanya smiles. TANYA Yeah. CONTINUED: (8) (CONTINUED) 9.
- 11. Her eyes wellup with tears. She looks away. EMILY Are you okay? TANYA Uh huh. EMILY You don't look okay. TANYA I don't know. EMILY Do you want a hug? TANYA Okay. Emily hugs her. Tanya wipes her tears. TANYA (CONT'D) Thanks. EMILY Do you feel better? TANYA I feel kinda dead inside. EMILY That’s great, right?! TANYA Sometimes I get stuck in this weird victim mentality and I don’t know why. She thinks for a minute, then shrugs her shoulders. TANYA (CONT’D) Well, off to another audition. Crushing it! She runs off. EMILY Break legs! FADE OUT. CONTINUED: (9) 10.