George and Marilyn Robertson are former TV stars now in their 60s and 70s who are surprised to find their daughter Diana filming them for a new reality show called "Where Are They Now? Nowhere." The show follows once-famous stars who are now living in obscurity. When the stars learn the premise of mocking their failures, they are upset but end up participating after negotiating a price. The story is teased to end with a social media post advertising the premiere of the new show featuring the Robertson family in their faded glory.

1. WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Written by
Dj Sisters

2. FADE IN:
INT. GEORGE AND MARILYN’S COTTAGE - DAY
MARILYN, 65, in a dress and well coiffed, pushes a flowered
couch toward the wall. She wipes dust from a coffee table.
MARILYN
Honey, hurry up. They’ll be here.
GEORGE (O.S.)
Yeah, yeah. I’m coming. I’m coming.
GEORGE, 70, enters, wearing faded blue jeans and a dark blue
hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Why do you make me rush? They can
wait a few minutes. After all, we
are the talent.
MARILYN
What are you wearing?
GEORGE
Blue jeans. She said to dress
casual.
MARILYN
Casual means khakis and a shirt
without a tie. It doesn’t mean a
sweatshirt on your head.
George pulls his hood down to reveal a black cap.
MARILYN (CONT’D)
Now you’re a hoodlum. Are you cold?
GEORGE
Hats, hoodies. All the young men
wear them.
MARILYN
You’re not a young man.
Marilyn pulls his hat off, revealing gray hair streaked with
brown and orange.
GEORGE
(rubs his scalp)
I dyed it. Didn’t turn out quite
right. But I didn’t want our fans
to think I’ve become old and gray.

3. MARILYN
Now you’re old and gray and orange.
The doorbell rings.
MARILYN (CONT’D)
Put that hat back on.
(suddenly grabbing her
ear)
Uh oh.
DIANA (30), dressed in black, and JIM, hipster (25), with
photography gear, enter.
MARILYN (CONT’D)
Honey! So good to see you.
DIANA
Hi Mom. This is Jim.
MARILYN
Welcome. And this is George. He
just came down with a cold, so I
apologize for his strange attire.
JIM
Sick? I can come back another time.
GEORGE
I don’t know what Marilyn’s talking
about. I’m fine. Happy to meet you.
MARILYN
Please excuse me for just a moment.
I have to touch up my face.
She walks out of the room.
DIANA
Dad, why are you wearing that hat?
GEORGE
Don’t ask, don’t tell. When do we
start?
DIANA
Hey Mom, come back out here.
Marilyn joins her husband. They flash red carpet grins. They
know how to smile. Diana frowns.
DIANA (CONT’D)
Mom, you have a bear in the cave.
2.

4. MARILYN
A barricade? What? I tried to move
the couch out of the way.
DIANA
(gestures to her face)
No, there is a bear in your cave.
GEORGE
(loudly)
Honey, she means there’s a booger
in your nose. Here, I’ll get it.
George pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and reaches over
to wipe Marilyn’s nose. He puts the handkerchief back in his
pocket. Diana cringes.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
What? If I sent my handkerchief to
the cleaners every time I wiped my
nose, it’d cost a fortune.
Diana looks at Jim as he snaps pictures.
JIM
It’s perfect. Captures both the ick
and the aww.
MARILYN
Now there’s something on my jaw?
GEORGE
(loudly)
Honey, go put your hearing aid back
in or we’ll be here all night.
Marilyn smiles at Jim, gestures one moment, as she steps out.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Your mother is so vain. Treating
this like a Vogue shoot. Which
magazine do you work for again?
JIM
Oh, I don’t.
Marilyn enters, fiddling with her hair to cover her ear.
MARILYN
But Di, you said --
DIANA
I said publicity for the pilot.
Stills for social media.
3.

5. Jim wanders over to the mantel. He examines a framed image of
a much younger George and Marilyn on the cover of a 1998 TV
Guide under the caption, “Viewers Bid Farewell to This Family
Robertson as Final Season Airs this Spring.”
Jim moves a vase of roses to get a clearer angle. As he does
so, several yellowing petals fall to the floor.
DIANA (CONT’D)
Mom, what’s with the dead flowers?
Don’t you know that’s bad luck?
MARILYN
(as she picks the petals
off the floor)
You and your Tai Chi.
DIANA
Feng Shui.
MARILYN
They’re not dead, they’re fading.
She moves the vase and more petals fall off.
GEORGE
So Di, when do we get a script? I
want to review my lines.
DIANA
I already told you. It’s
unscripted. A reality show.
MARILYN
Does it have a name?
Jim takes out his phone.
JIM
I got the title.
DIANA
It’s okay, Jim.
GEORGE
I like a good title.
DIANA
Look, Mom and Dad, you’re not the
only ones in the pilot. There are
other stars from your era.
MARILYN
Great. We love collaborating.
4.

6. JIM
(reads from phone)
“Where Are They Now? Nowhere. This
reality TV show follows once-famous
stars who now live in obscurity,
disappointment and failure.”
MARILYN
You brought cameras to our home to
make fun of us?
GEORGE
If I wanted to be embarrassed on
TV, I would have taken that
constipation commercial.
DIANA
That was the right move. You would
have jeopardized your brand, then.
GEORGE
And now, what you’re saying is, we
don’t have a brand. We are no
longer the Robertsons. We are the
has-beens.
MARILYN
Even a has-been has dignity, and
you can’t put a price on it.
DIANA
I might disagree with you, Mom.
Diana whispers to Marilyn. Marilyn whispers to George.
GEORGE
That seems like a fair price to me.
CUT TO:
Instagram image: George has calico hair and sits next to
Marilyn. On the table are an old TV Guide and a vase of dying
roses. “Where are they now? Nowhere. Premieres tonight.”
MARILYN (V.O.)
Maybe they’ll do a sequel?
GEORGE (V.O.)
A man can dream.
FADE OUT.
THE END.
5.