This quiz will help you assess how well you deal with conflict and whether you are able to make repairs to your relationship during and/or after an argument.

1. Dance With Me
Quiz
3:
Dealing
With
Conflict
Dr.
Debi
Smith,
Clinical
Psychologist
www.OCChris9anCouples.com
800.705.6223

2. Quiz
3:
Dealing
With
Conflict
This
quiz,
based
on
findings
of
marital
research,
can
help
you
get
an
idea
of
how
well
you
are
doing
in
some
vital
areas
of
your
relaConship.
Adapted
from
the
book
by
J.
GoIman:
Seven
Principles
for
Making
a
Marriage
Work

3. Disclaimer
Please
note
that
all
informaCon
provided
is
for
general
informaConal
purposes
only.
It
is
not
a
subsCtute
for
a
professional
evaluaCon.
If
you
are
experiencing
distress,
please
contact
a
mental
health
professional.

4. QuesCon
1
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
are
good
at
taking
breaks
when
we
need
them.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

5. QuesCon
2
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• My
partner
usually
accepts
my
apologies.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

6. QuesCon
3
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• I
can
say
that
I
am
wrong.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

7. QuesCon
4
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• I
am
preIy
good
at
calming
myself
down.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

8. QuesCon
5
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
can
maintain
a
sense
of
humor.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

9. QuesCon
6
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• When
my
partner
says
we
should
talk
to
each
other
in
a
different
way,
it
usually
makes
a
lot
of
sense.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

10. QuesCon
7
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• My
aIempts
to
repair
our
discussions
when
they
get
negaCve
are
usually
effecCve.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

11. QuesCon
8
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
are
preIy
good
listeners
even
when
we
have
different
posiCons
on
things.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

12. QuesCon
9
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• If
things
get
heated,
we
can
usually
pull
out
of
it
and
change
things.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

13. QuesCon
10
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• My
partner
is
good
at
soothing
me
when
I
get
upset.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

14. QuesCon
11
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• I
feel
confident
that
we
can
resolve
most
issues
between
us.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

15. QuesCon
12
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• When
I
comment
on
how
we
could
communicate
beIer,
my
partner
listens
to
me.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

16. QuesCon
13
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• Even
if
things
get
hard
at
Cmes,
I
know
we
can
get
past
our
differences.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

17. QuesCon
14
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
can
be
affecConate,
even
when
we
are
disagreeing.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

18. QuesCon
15
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• Teasing
and
humor
usually
work
to
get
my
partner
over
negaCvity.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

19. QuesCon
16
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
can
start
all
over
again
and
improve
our
discussion
when
needed.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

20. QuesCon
17
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• When
emoCons
run
hot,
expressing
how
upset
I
feel
makes
a
real
difference.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

21. QuesCon
18
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• We
can
discuss
even
big
differences
between
us.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

22. QuesCon
19
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• My
partner
expresses
appreciaCon
for
the
nice
things
I
do.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

23. QuesCon
20
During
our
aIempts
to
resolve
conflict
…
• If
I
keep
trying
to
communicate,
if
will
eventually
work
out.
Agree
=
1
point
Disagree
=
0
points

24. How
did
you
do?
The
highest
possible
score
=
20
According
to
research,
a
score
less
than
6
indicates
that
repair
aIempts
a[er
an
argument
are
unsuccessful
a
significant
amount
of
Cme.

25. How
did
you
do?
If
your
score
was
below
6,
you
and
your
mate
may
benefit
from
couples
counseling
that
focuses
on
developing
more
effecCve
ways
to
deal
with
conflict.

26. Finding
Help
• Look
for
a
licensed
counselor
who
has
specialized
training
in
working
with
couples.
• If
you
are
a
ChrisCan,
you
may
want
to
find
someone
who
shares
your
faith.

27. Finding
Help
• Schedule
an
appointment
so
you
can
both
meet
the
counselor
in
person.
• Make
sure
you
both
feel
comfortable
with
your
choice.

28. Finding
Help
• A
man
needs
his
wife’s
trust
and
respect
in
order
to
be
a
good
leader
(king).
• A
woman
needs
her
husband’s
love
and
understanding
to
be
a
good
follower
(queen).

29. Enjoying
the
Romance
of
Ephesians
5
• Men
– Learn
what
she
needs
and
desires
from
you.
– Pray
for
her
daily.
• Ladies
– Learn
what
he
needs
and
desires
from
you.
– Pray
for
him
daily.

30. Submit
to
one
another
out
of
reverence
for
Christ.
~
Ephesians
5:21
• This
passage
applies
to
the
body
of
believers
in
fellowship
with
one
another,
so
it
naturally
applies
to
husbands
and
wives
as
well.
• However,
just
how
husbands
and
wives
are
to
submit
to
one
another
is
easily
misunderstood
in
our
current
culture.

31. Submit
to
one
another
out
of
reverence
for
Christ.
~
Ephesians
5:21
• That’s
what
Dance
With
Me
is
all
about
–
learning
what
submission
looks
like
in
the
21st
Century.
• Dr.
Debi
Smith
teaches
couples
how
to
pay
aIenCon
to
one
another’s
needs
and
how
to
be
responsive
to
one
another
in
light
of
his/her
unique
design
and
purpose.

32. For
more
informaCon
…
…
or
to
order
a
copy
of
Dance
With
Me:
A
Hopeful
Roman9c
Interprets
Ephesians
5,
please
visit
our
website
at
www.OCChrisCanCounseling.com

33. Thanks
for
taking
the
Quiz!
And
thank
you
for
inves9ng
in
the
future
of
America
by
suppor9ng
one
another!
You’re
the
Best!

34. Dance With Me
Rela9onship
Workshops
Dr.
Debi
Smith
Fred
Judkins
Clinical
Psychologist
Dance
Leader