Couples Counseling Baby Relationships
•Download as PPT, PDF•
1 like•580 views
Joyce Marter has been providing Pre & Post Baby Couples Counseling since 2004 at her Chicago-based counseling practice, Urban Balance. She has been quoted as an expert on how having a baby impacts your relationship via The Wall Street Journal, American Baby Magazine, Parents.com, PsychCentral, etc.
Recommended
More Related Content
What's hot
What's hot (13)
Viewers also liked
Viewers also liked (20)
Similar to Couples Counseling Baby Relationships
Similar to Couples Counseling Baby Relationships (20)
More from Joyce Marter
More from Joyce Marter (10)
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (20)
Couples Counseling Baby Relationships
- 1. Pre- & Post-Baby Couples Counseling Joyce Marter, LCPC Psychotherapist & CEO
- 2. Text Why is this so important?
- 3. What stressors occur during the transition to family?
- 5. The Inception of UB Baby Counseling 2004 2004 Group Workshops Pre-Baby (3 hours) Post-Baby (3 hours) Private Counseling Pre-Baby (3 sessions) Post-Baby (3 sessions)
- 7. First Comes Love, Then Comes Carriage Book & Phone Application--Coming Soon!
- 8. The Truth: A Baby Affects Your Relationship A Baby Affects Your Relationship ✤ ✤ “A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.”~Budda According to the Gottman Relationship Institute, about 70% of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth of a child.
- 9. The Program ✤ Pre-Baby Checklist ✤ Connect for 20 minutes a day-not about baby or tasks ✤ One 45 minute relationship check-in per week ✤ Handouts/Application
- 10. Pitfall #1: TOTAL EXHAUSTION “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. “ -Leo J. Burke
- 11. Pitfall #2: LESS SEX “My wife wants sex in the back of a car and she wants me to drive.”-Rodney Dangerfield
- 12. Pitfall #3: RESENTMENT ABOUT DISTRIBUTION OF LABOR “Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- 13. Pitfall #4: DIFFICULTY WITH CHANGES IN LIFESTYLE “Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.”-Marcelene Cox
- 14. Pitfall #5: CONFLICT OVER FINANCES “Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.” -Dave Barry
- 15. Pitfall #6: PRIOR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES RESURFACE “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.”-Swedish Proverb
- 16. Pitfall #7: PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT PARENTS “If you are not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” -Reese Witherspoon
- 17. Pitfall #8: EXTENDED FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS “I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property’”-Joan Rivers
- 18. Pitfall #9: IDENTITY CRISIS “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids.” ~Sam Levenson
- 19. Pitfall #10: SICKNESS COMPOUNDS THE STRESS “Love is staying up all night with a sick child--or a healthy adult.”~David Frost
- 20. Group Workshop Format Power Point Handout
- 21. Private Couples Counseling Format Handout of 6 Session Model
- 22. Importance of PPD Screening ✤ Prevention by collaboration with OB-GYN & psychiatrist ✤ Northshore University Health Systems Perinatal Depression Hotline at 866-364-MOMS
- 23. Resources ✤ And Baby Makes 3, Gottman ✤ 5 Love Languages ✤ Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Gottman ✤ Expectant Father’s Class NMH ✤ Boot Camp for New Dads www.bootcampfornewdads.org
- 24. Thank YOU! Questions & Evaluations Evaluations
Editor's Notes
- ---BEFORE Thank you! Training is being videotaped for an online webinar We will break in an hour and a half but if you need to leave, bathroom keys are over there ---START Thank you Very passionate about this topic Welcome questions, comments and interactions throughout!
- Why are you here? Please introduce yourself and let us know why you are interested in this topic--might be your own personal experience and/or experiences with clients. There is more focus on the decorating of the nursery than on preparing the relationship for the transition from 2 to 3. Focus on birthing and registering for the baby shower. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. “i’d Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper” (UB Wellness Database)
- List on white board The taboo--Oprah show, stars like Brooke Shields talking about post-partum Jim Gaffigan video for empathy and a father’s perspective
- The love of my life and the light of my life (one of them, anyway) Love that she has his cute face My mistakes--not uncommon Looking back, my husband and I both made very significant mistakes as we adjusted to parenthood --both individually and as a couple. These errors were not made due to lack of love: they were the result of good intentions gone awry, naiveté, ignorance, overwhelm and a lack of preparedness. The baseball game--stress and loss for both New generation--work/life balance, Urban Balance--supporting parents Comments? Questions? Anyone else want to share?
- Pre-Baby--recommended during 2nd trimester Post-Baby--as soon as possible, babies always welcome, Skype is an option $300 per couple for both workshops $500 for 6 sessions Not just 1st baby Not just heterosexual or married couples--this applies to everyone, although the research shows that same sexed couples function better as a team (power differential.) Steady trickle of referrals from OB-GYNS over the years but didn’t take off in the way I had hoped until...
- Tell WSJ story Play the TV segment
- publisher story agent story, “the world needs this book” “this is God’s work part of my psycho-spiritual mission, along with UB Handouts for UB therapist include the exercises and tools for couples that will be on the phone application---viewers of the webinar will need to purchase the application when it becomes available. Part One of the book teaches couples about the 10 common relationship pitfalls I have identified through providing pre & post couples counseling since 2004. It also offers practical suggestions for couples to increase their support, improve their communication and develop a plan for how their relationship can blossom along with their family. Part 2 is an index that address specific issues only some couples experience--blended family, multicultural families, infidelity, infertility, work travel, multiples, adoption, etc. Prevention--proactive, preventative, planning for success
- Birthing plan--doula, midwife, classes (no beer breath or benedryl) Breastfeeding Parental leave Childcare Religious ceremonies Now we are going to talk through the 10 pitfalls...
- What are the issues? My pregnancy with Claudia and the fatigue 100 days of hell Excuse me, but I feel like I hate you How can you help the couple prepare? Sleep log and Night and Morning Schedule
- Fran & Alyssa What are the factors? Body image, fatigue, baby in bed, dads feel loss, not wanting to get pregnant (Melissa) Keith’s vasectomy How can you help a couple?
- This is the biggie.... 40% Moms breadwinner despite still being paid .80 on the $1 (UB) 2nd shift--still do 80% housework and childcare Research shows both partners benefit when work as a team (gay couples do better) Super woman syndrome Traditionally feminine roles and feigned helplessness Task list and weekly schedule Communication and conflict resolution--differences between longer term couples and newer couples even over time
- less time and resources for each other--gerbil wheel minivan commercial def score
- What do people think??? The Psychology of Money--savers versus spenders, power and control, fear and anxiety Value of the stay at home parent--self-esteem Breadwinner anxiety Financial planner
- Magnifying glass--MG Experience counseling same sexed couples? Advice?
- Comparing insides to outsides--organic foods, french lessons, reading lists, etc. Mother guilt Stop whining
- What do you see in your practice? Cultural factors Bethany--Kate, Susan
- Who am I? Who are we? Who are these kids? Changes in work What do you see in your practice?
- No calling in sick for parenthood (Jennifer) Childcare
- Copy of UB’s Power Point for the group format of the pre-baby counseling workshop (thanks to UB staff, Bridget, Cori and Hedy for working on this)--let Bridget know if you are interested in becoming a facilitator. The post-baby workshop is in development. Webinar viewers can develop their own training or purchase UB’s from our website
- Review and discussion
- Extra emphasis on the importance of this Lori’s thyroid case and the PPD segment Drug options, breastfeeding options Experience with PPD?
- My book is more of a modern, feminist perspective focusing on a much needed cultural shift