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  1. 1. Growing Godly KidsIn an ungodly world
  2. 2. How do we raise Godly children inan Ungodly world? “If we don’t raise our children to believe in God the worldwill raise them to not believe in God.”
  3. 3. What are virtues? How do we know what standard we are to expect from ourchildren? Virtues originate with God Christian virtues reflect the person of God.
  4. 4. So Who is God? Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow(Hebrews 13:8)
  5. 5. ValuesParents need to measure their values against thestandard of God’s Word. First and foremost it is all aboutvirtue. When Christian virtues are taught to ourchildren, it triggers a child’s consciousness of God andeternity. The natural world is seen, heard, felt, smelledand tasted but the supernatural world is revealedthrough quiet and unseen things like Holy Spiritrevelation, faith, and the virtue that reflect both.ALL Biblical values are a reflection of His character
  6. 6. ValuesVirtues are what God looks like on the outside and that iswhat He asked us to look like (Romans 13:14)
  7. 7. ValuesBiblical morality serves to reveal God’s call to holiness,establish a standard of acceptable behavior and reveal sin.“Christianity is an intimate, growing, relationshipwith the person of Jesus Christ. It is not a set of doctrinesto believe, habits to practice, or sin to avoid. Every activityGod commands is to enhance His love relationship withHis people. Religious activity apart from the fellowshipwith God is empty ritual.”-Henry Blackaby
  8. 8. Values4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with allyour soul and with all your strength. 6 Thesecommandments that I give you today are to be on yourhearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about themwhen you sit at home and when you walk along theroad, when you lie down and when you get up.--Deuteronomy 6:4-7
  9. 9. 3 Prinicples of Moral Instruction Deuteronomy 6:4-7 1. There is only ONE God-Yahweh (first four verses) He is absolute, and His commands are consistent with Hischaracter 2. ”These words shall be in your hearts” Moral trainingstarts with YOU (parents) 3. Moral training takes place during normal activities ofthe day. By implication, moral truth is best communicatedin periods of non-conflict.
  10. 10. Moral Training Sample List Talebearing/Gossip Psalm 15:1-3; Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, 17:9, 18:8 Anger/Self control Proverbs 14:17, 14:29, 15:1, 15:18, 16:32, 25:28 Bad Language Ephesians 4:29-32; Matthew 5:21-22; James 3:8-10 Lying Proverbs 6:16-19, 12:19, 12:22; Ephesians 4:25; Colossians 3:9 Stealing/Restitution Leviticus 6:1-5; Numbers 5:6-7; Proverbs 6:30-31, 28:24; Luke 19:8-9 Vengeance/Forgiveness Matthew 18:21-35; Mark 11:25-26; Colossians 3:12-14; Ephesians 4:31-32 Laziness Proverbs 12:24, 13:4, 15:19, 18:9, 20:4, 24:30-34, 26:13-16; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12 Obeying Parents Ephesians 6:1-2; Colossians 3:20 Pride Proverbs 8:13, 11:2, 16:5, 14:33, 21:4, 25:27, 29:1; Philippians 2:1-11
  11. 11. What are the two evils that threatensuccessful parenting? 1. Not understanding the role of husband/wife relationship 2. Child-centered parenting (world tells us it’s right butBible clearly states it is wrong)
  12. 12. It is not good for man to be alone: I will makea helper suitable for him” Genesis 2:18 When we look into the context of this verse we find that man inthe truest sense was not alone. God’s implication in this was that it is not good for man to bealone as a total person - not just a single aspect of man’s being. It is not good to be alone-spiritually-socially-emotionally-physically
  13. 13. God provided a companion who was suitableto meet his intimate needs, one with whomhe could share his life. For this cause, notonly was women created, but the institutionof marriage was designed. Marriage is theholy reality of two becoming one. Godinstituted it first and foremost for the sake ofpartnership, and it is described throughoutScripture as one-flesh union.
  14. 14. When a man and womenseparate themselves from theirparents, they form a new nucleusand identity as one unit.(Ephesians 5:25-33)
  15. 15. Very Good When God created Eve, he declared “it was very good” (Genesis 1:27-31) andrested from His work. IMPORTANT NOTICE: Children were not present when God declared that Hiscreation was very good. By God’s design the husband-wife relationship is the first social relationshipestablished in Scripture. By God’s design the husband-wife relationship is primary in the network ofdependent relationships. The husband-wife relationship must be viewed as the priority relationship in thefamily. Since marriage is the priority relationship, ALL other relationships must be subjectto it.
  16. 16. What is child-centeredparenting? It is easy to become child-centered! How does child-centered parenting threaten successfulfamily life?
  17. 17. How can we keep the marriagerelationship first? couch time date night couple devotions physical intimacy filling up your spouse’s love tank. One of the GREATEST gifts parents can give their children is theconfidence that Mom and Dad love each other.
  18. 18. What does God tell us about love?(1 John 4:7-8)What are our love languages specifically designed for usby God?1. Acts of Service (John 3:18)2. Gift Giving (Ephesians 5:25)3. Words of Encouragement (1 Corinthians 8:1)4. Quality Time (Jesus spent quality time with God the Fatherand His disciples)5. Physical Touch (Mark 10:13-16)
  19. 19. Be Careful! It is easy to misdiagnose a child’s motives based on howwe interpret his or her actions. No amount of discipline will be effective if a child’semotional needs (especially love) are not met.
  20. 20. Love In order for your children to acknowledge thepreciousness of others, they need to have a sense oflove from you. When Biblical love is in the life of a child, he or she willnot be held back by the shackles of self-love, self-interest, and self-protection.
  21. 21. Love WHEN WE LOVE WITH A BIBLICAL LOVE WE RIGHTLYREPRESENT GOD TO THE WORLD Everyday we choose to love or not to love. Choosing to loveyour spouse in their own love language is a greater act of lovethan exercising your own primary love language. JESUS LOVED US WHEN WE WERE LEAST LOVELY…THAT ISHOW WE SHOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
  22. 22. One social issue encapsulates allof the brokenness that we see inour culture: bad dads.
  23. 23. The Father’s Mandate1. Cultivate a Sense of Family Identity(trust/acceptance/loyalty)2. Demonstrate an Ongoing Love for your Wife (how muchtrust can I have in a dad who is not continuously lovingmy mom?)
  24. 24. The Father’s Mandate3. Understand your Child’s Private World (if you’re therefor the vulnerable moments when they are little, it ismore likely they will turn to you when they are older)4. Give your Child the FREEDOM to Fail (Joseph failedmany times and his right response each time allowedGod to exalt him)
  25. 25. The Father’s Mandate5. Encourage Your Child6. Guard Your Tongue and Your Tone (learn to measureyour response against the excitement of your child’sface)
  26. 26. The Father’s Mandate7. Routinely Embrace Your Child Holding your child does more than provide security. Itmeets special emotional needs that one day will be met byyour child’s mate. For boys, a fathers routine hug andembrace confirms a son’s sense of masculine…and fordaughters, this is even MORE important.8. Build Trust on God’s Word Parenting is a discipleship relationship in which truthpasses from one generation to another.
  27. 27. Principles of ObedienceGenesis 22:2-3Abraham did three things 1.He rose early 2.He prepared himself 3.He did that which God commanded
  29. 29. How parents wrongly train toobedience1. Threatening/Repeating In this we are training our children to disobey; they know mommy/daddy willnot displine the first few times something is said.2. Bribing Parent (lust of the flesh) “If you’re good in the grocery store Iwill get you a treat.” No child will respond to God’s standard if parental resolve for true obedienceis lacking. Taken further, however, it produces ungodly characteristics in ourchildren such as; self-oriented tendencies and manipulation…“A bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the words of the righteous”-Exodus 23:8
  30. 30. Principals of InstructionWhen you speak to your child thatrequires a response, expect it to beimmediate and complete. Expecting first time obedience of ourchildren is more of an adjustmentproblem for parents than children…
  31. 31. Principals of Instruction Never give a command unless you intend for it to be obeyed stop and think before you say NO…is it a moral issue? Provide children with a five minute warning, this helps to notexasperate your child-Colossians 3:21 We should realize that it creates temptation for our childrenwhen we do not give a five minute warning, to give into pleasuresof the flesh.
  32. 32. Principals of InstructionRemember context (THIS HELPS TOPREVENT LEGALISM)As the parent you need to use discernmentwhen making a moral judgment of thechild’s behavior.What would be an example of this?
  33. 33. Principals of Instruction Eye Contact and Verbal ResponseHaving your child looking at you helps them process theinstruction; and this is often half the battle. “Yes mom,” or “Yes dad” this way you know your child hasheard you and if they do not comply they are choosing to bedisobedient.
  34. 34. Principals of Instruction Agree or disagree?When a child continually disobeys, he is in sin. When a parentreinforces that disobedience, they are in sin. God does notreward sin by doing nothing, neither should we as parents. Forsmall faults, wisdom may dictate that parents show patienceor give a stern warning, but parents should not consider directand wilful defiance trivial.
  35. 35. Conclusion More is caught than taught Separate moral behavior from non-moral behavior Discipline with encouragement (verbal/Goal incentives) Role Play (preactivity)-role play situations before you’re in them! Use the positive instead of the negative Reward behavior (Because you were good…is DIFFERENT then, IFyou are good…) ENCOURAGEMENT TAKES A QUANTUM LEAP WHEN YOU ADDPHYSICAL TOUCH TO YOUR WORDS OF