Single Motherhood
The African Perspective
Presented By: Adenike
Adeyanju-Osadolor
Regional
Single Motherhood
•
This presentation attempts to illuminate some
of the challenges that single mothers face in a
patriarchal and cultural/religious pluralistic
Africa
•
Some real life case studies will be examined.
•
Lessons learnt from personal experience
would be shared with a view to offering some
suggestions towards developing coping
strategies to surmount these challenges as
well as encourage social integration of single
Single motherhood can arise out of
•
Life’s experiences – death of spouse, divorce,
rape etc.
•
Choice – younger upwardly mobile women are
making such choices – choosing to keep
unplanned pregnancies or simply wanting
children without the boundaries set by
marriage. It is an option for freedom and
independence.
Single Motherhood
Single Motherhood
•
It knows no barriers of age
- Women of any age can become single
parents.
- In HIV/AIDS devastated communities in
Africa, many grandmothers were forced into
single parenting of their grandchildren and
young girls became heads of households
The African Experience
•
Traditional African societies hold strong views
about single parenting
– If she’s a widow, she’s dispossessed of all her
entitlements and abandoned to her fate. If she’s
lucky, and she hardly ever is – the husband’s
family takes care of her children. If childless, she’s
on her own.
– In cases of divorce, rape, and even personal
choice, she’s stigmatized
•
Whichever way you look at it, there is no win
Case Studies
•
My Experience
- Dispossessed and abandoned
- What helped? – education, support of family and
friends, determination to succeed,
resourcefulness…
•
Amina
- Taken care of by family by religious standards
- But she becomes a property to be acquired by
Sharing Lessons Learnt
•
A single parent will face all sorts of challenges
– financial, social and psychological etc.
•
She will need to deal with a lot of different
emotions such as anger, fear, sadness,
frustration, shock, regret, self pity, bitterness,
loneliness etc.
Sharing Lessons Learnt
What buffers are available to the single mother?
•
External
• Education
•
Education empowers – it opens doors to decent
employment that financially empowers the single
mother to be able to meet the needs of her
child/children
• Advocacy
-
Stigmatization and exploitation of single mothers based
on culture and religion need to pave way for an
acceptance based on human right and dignity.
Sharing Lessons Learnt
•
Internal
– This is the most important resource a single
mother must have.
– The change we want to see must begin with us.
While the society takes its time towards
attitudinal change and social orientation towards
them ( especially in the African setting), single
mothers have to take matter into their own hands
to ensure, and perhaps force this change.
– How can they do this?
Sharing Lessons Learnt

Be strong and positive.

Find a support system.

“all birds fly higher and faster in
formation than any individual bird will fly
alone …”

Do not be a superwoman.

Make time to relax.
Cheering News
•
A new study, published in the Journal of
Happiness Studies, has revealed how mothers
who have children while single tend to be
happy with their situation.
•
Although many of the women questioned in
the research faced financial problems, lack of
support and feeling that they were
disapproved of in society, the study found that
having a child did not prompt unhappiness
among single mothers.
Last Words
“Before I got married, I had six theories about
bringing up children; now, I have six children
and no theories.”
- John Wilmot

Civ3 adeyanju-osadolor adenike

  • 1.
    Single Motherhood The AfricanPerspective Presented By: Adenike Adeyanju-Osadolor Regional
  • 2.
    Single Motherhood • This presentationattempts to illuminate some of the challenges that single mothers face in a patriarchal and cultural/religious pluralistic Africa • Some real life case studies will be examined. • Lessons learnt from personal experience would be shared with a view to offering some suggestions towards developing coping strategies to surmount these challenges as well as encourage social integration of single
  • 3.
    Single motherhood canarise out of • Life’s experiences – death of spouse, divorce, rape etc. • Choice – younger upwardly mobile women are making such choices – choosing to keep unplanned pregnancies or simply wanting children without the boundaries set by marriage. It is an option for freedom and independence. Single Motherhood
  • 4.
    Single Motherhood • It knowsno barriers of age - Women of any age can become single parents. - In HIV/AIDS devastated communities in Africa, many grandmothers were forced into single parenting of their grandchildren and young girls became heads of households
  • 5.
    The African Experience • TraditionalAfrican societies hold strong views about single parenting – If she’s a widow, she’s dispossessed of all her entitlements and abandoned to her fate. If she’s lucky, and she hardly ever is – the husband’s family takes care of her children. If childless, she’s on her own. – In cases of divorce, rape, and even personal choice, she’s stigmatized • Whichever way you look at it, there is no win
  • 6.
    Case Studies • My Experience -Dispossessed and abandoned - What helped? – education, support of family and friends, determination to succeed, resourcefulness… • Amina - Taken care of by family by religious standards - But she becomes a property to be acquired by
  • 7.
    Sharing Lessons Learnt • Asingle parent will face all sorts of challenges – financial, social and psychological etc. • She will need to deal with a lot of different emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, frustration, shock, regret, self pity, bitterness, loneliness etc.
  • 8.
    Sharing Lessons Learnt Whatbuffers are available to the single mother? • External • Education • Education empowers – it opens doors to decent employment that financially empowers the single mother to be able to meet the needs of her child/children • Advocacy - Stigmatization and exploitation of single mothers based on culture and religion need to pave way for an acceptance based on human right and dignity.
  • 9.
    Sharing Lessons Learnt • Internal –This is the most important resource a single mother must have. – The change we want to see must begin with us. While the society takes its time towards attitudinal change and social orientation towards them ( especially in the African setting), single mothers have to take matter into their own hands to ensure, and perhaps force this change. – How can they do this?
  • 10.
    Sharing Lessons Learnt  Bestrong and positive.  Find a support system.  “all birds fly higher and faster in formation than any individual bird will fly alone …”  Do not be a superwoman.  Make time to relax.
  • 11.
    Cheering News • A newstudy, published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, has revealed how mothers who have children while single tend to be happy with their situation. • Although many of the women questioned in the research faced financial problems, lack of support and feeling that they were disapproved of in society, the study found that having a child did not prompt unhappiness among single mothers.
  • 12.
    Last Words “Before Igot married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now, I have six children and no theories.” - John Wilmot

Editor's Notes

  • #4 Tell the story of the widow in church who stood up when widows were called to be prayed for.
  • #9 Buffer – shock absorber Advocacy – Cite example of family programmes in churches – stereotypically comprises father, mother and children.
  • #11 Strong and positive - Focus on the best interests of your child/children. Do not let the reason for your state lead you to bitterness and anger. And never vent your frustrations on your child/children. Rather be open with them and reassure them Support system: Reach out to family and friends. They can be lifelines by way of advice, by taking care of your children when you need them to. Seek out other single mothers either physically or online and share experiences. Superwoman: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself by appearing to be the perfect mum. Focus on things you can control and give yourself credit for your achievements. Accept your limitations and seek help when necessary. Relax: Take time to have some fun. Do your favourite things to let off steam. Finances: In Africa, single mothers shoulder responsibilities alone – child support payment is not enforced even in cases of divorce when men are obligated by law. Be resourceful. Keep your lifestyle simple. Keep your spending within your available means.
  • #13 Replace “married” with “before I had children”