Choosing a partner new

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER
Pr. Charles N. E. Amoah

By Pr. Charles N. E. Amoah,
nana.amoah@gmail.com
ARE THEIR SMILES GENUINE?
Why do you think so?

A FEW ISSUES TO BE CLEARED

1. All or part of this presentation is available at
www.slideshare.net
2. I keep updating my presentations but are
sometimes reluctant to upload them
3. How come we spend so much learning how to
choose careers that facilitate the achievement
of our fullest potential but cant make time to
learn how to choose our life partner.

A FEW THOUGHTS ABOUT MARRIAGE
 a group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and
two slaves, making in all, two;
 'We stay together, but we distrust one another.'
'Ah, yes...but isn't that a definition of marriage?'
 Malcolm Bradbury (1932 - 2000)
 A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from
admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
 Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)
 A loving wife will do anything for her husband except
stop criticising and trying to improve him.
 J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984)
 It is a very good way to promote civilization - if you get
a good wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher
 Socrates

AND A FEW FIGHTS
 I was chopping tomatoes for dinner and my
husband thought I was doing it wrong. I
finished cooking dinner and he refused to eat it.
Instead, he ordered pizza with every single
topping I don't like. — court&john
 We had a standoff for almost a week to see
who would give in first and finally buy toilet
paper. For the record, I won. — steve+mel
 How to pronounce Cameron Diaz's name. I
said "dee-oz" and he insisted it was "dee-as."
Who cares? I didn't speak to him for the rest of
the night. — mcnam002
 We got into a fight while assembling the
furniture in our new house. If we made it
through that, we'll make it through anything! —
AubreyDub
 Whether or not to tuck in the sheets at the end
of the bed — every time I make the bed, I tuck
them in, and every night, he untucks them. —
KDTully

FIRST THINGS FIRST
 Partner – An associate in an activity or
endeavour or sphere of common interest
 Life – The course of existence of an individual;
the actions and events that occur in living
 A life partner can be understood to be an associate
or partner who goes through the course of our
existence with us because of a shared interest or
common interest in the endeavour of life

3/13/2014 4:18 AM
DIVINELY INSTITUTED
 Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto
his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
 King James Version (Red Letter)

UNDERSTAND WHAT CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IS
AND WHAT ITS NOT

GOD’S INVITATION TO EVERY ONE

MARRIAGE ORDAINED BY GOD
 According to Scripture marriage is ordained by
God as an intimate and permanent partnership
between a man and a woman in which the two
become one in the whole of life. The ideal is an
active lifelong monogamous heterosexual
relationship.
 Sexual, emotional, physical and spiritual
fulfillment are important goals of a marriage
relationship that places God at its centre.
Christian marriage is the ideal foundation for the
birth and raising of children.
 Some key biblical passages on marriage
principles: Gen 1:26-28; 2:21-24; Mt 19:6; 1 Cor
7:1-40; 13:1-13; 2 Cor 6:14; Eph 5:21-33; 1 Th

WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
 a. Ordained by God
 b. Must unconditionally be given time for enjoyment and
nurture
 c. True marriage attracts God’s favour
 d. Indispensable for preservation of the human race
 e. Jesus sees breaking marriage as a criminal act
 f. Marriage is an antidote for sexual temptation
 g. Marriage is not a sin. Marriage is the only thing that
express complete oneness
 i. Forbidding marriage is an act of the devil
 j. No one should remain unmarried without a biblically
acceptable reason
 k. Desecrating marriage is tantamount to God’s
judgment.

A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE OF MARRIAGE
Biblical Framework for a God-pleasing marriage relationship
When these principles are chosen by a
husband and wife in harmony with their
relationship as born again believers, this brings
about a Biblical marriage. This is not a
lopsided relationship (a relationship where one
is more important than the other), but one that
is in balance with the concept of Christ as the
head of the man and the wife together.
Therefore, the Biblical concept of marriage
is a oneness between two individuals that
is a picture of the oneness relationship of

GOD CELEBRATES MARRIAGES
 God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the
institution has for its originator the Creator of the
universe. "Marriage is honorable" (Hebrews 13:4);
it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is
one of the two institutions that, after the Fall,
Adam brought with him beyond the gates of
Paradise. When the divine principles are
recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage
is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of
the race, it provides for man‘s social needs, it
elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the
moral nature.
 {PP 46.3} White, Ellen Gould: The Story of Patriarchs and Prophets as
Illustrated in the Lives of Holy Men of Old; Conflict of the Ages Series,
Volume 1; Patriarchs and Prophets. Pacific Press Publishing
Association, 1890; 2002, S. 46

 God has placed men in the world, and it is their
privilege to eat, to drink, to trade, to marry, and
to be given in marriage; but it is safe to do
these things only in the fear of God. We
should live in this world with reference to the
eternal world. Many take upon themselves the
sacred vows as thoughtlessly as they would
enter into a business transaction; true love is
not the motive for the alliance.
 Messages to Young People, p. 456. Ellen G White 1930

IS A HAPPY MARRIAGE POSSIBLE?
 Sadly, so many enter marriage with no
understanding, no preparation, no training and no
idea of how to achieve a lifetime of happiness with
their chosen partner. Many couples spend far
more time planning for a one-day wedding than
for the lifelong marriage that should follow it.
 As a result, over half of all marriages fail, ending
in divorce, often with former partners becoming
mortal enemies! Other couples are just as
unhappy, but perhaps cannot afford a divorce, or
stay together only because of the children or other
social or business reasons.

Question 1
HAVE YOU FACED THE MYTHS OF MARRIAGE
HONESTLY?

MYTH 1: WE EXPECT THE SAME THINGS
FROM MARRIAGE
 Unspoken Rules
 Everyone lives by a set of rules that are rarely
spoken but always known
 Unconscious Roles
 Just as actors in a dramatic performance follows a
script, so do married couples

MYTH 2: EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT OUR
RELATIONSHIP WILL GET BETTER
 Each of us constructs an idealized image of
the person we marry.
 We need to realize that our marriage is not a
source of constant roomance so that we can
enjoy those moments of romance that come to
us from time to time

MYTH 3: EVERYTHING BAD IN MY LIFE WILL
DISAPPEAR
 Many people marry to escape from an
unpleasant situation
 Marriage usually does not heal the soul or
massage the spirit
 Marriage however, can become a powerful
healing agent or environment for
 Uncovering and
 Resolving issues

INSTRUMENTAL ROLE OF FAMILIES
Society
Family
Family
Family

KNOW WHAT LOVE IS AND IS NOT

LOVE IS…

WHAT IS LOVE?
 A strong positive emotion of regard and
affection
 A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction
 "their love left them indifferent to their
surroundings"
 Any object of warm affection or devotion

WHAT IS LOVE?
 The very basic difference in real love and what
is passed for love in our society is the truth that
love is not a feeling, love is a decision, a
commitment to a person.
 There is a feeling associated with this
commitment to another person. The emotion,
on the other hand, may come and go
depending upon the immediate circumstances.
 That is why some people fall into and out of
love as often as others of us change shirts.

TWO CHRISTIAN PRAYING WHEN THEY SHOULD BE
FLEEING.

WHAT IS LOVE?
 1Co 13:4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for
others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't
have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swollen head,
 1Co 13:5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always
"me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score
of the sins of others,
 1Co 13:6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes
pleasure in the flowering of truth,
 1Co 13:7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps
going to the end.
 1Co 13:8 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over
some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding
will reach its limit.

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
 Infatuation- loving feelings
towards a another that are
largely based upon fantasy and
idealization (instead of
experience). Often when
partners get to know each
other, infatuation diminishes.
 Romantic Love- An abiding
love for a partner with whom
you feel passion, attraction,
caring and respect.
 Eros- a passionate love usually
involving sexual feelings for a
love interest.
 Companionate Love- feelings
of warmth towards a friend with
whom you love to spend time

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
Conditional Love- A love
that requires specific
action or conditions in
order to be
maintained. The love is
based on outside
conditions and when they
do not occur, the love is
withdrawn.
Unconditional Love- A
type of affection and caring
that is so strong that you
feel it consistently,
regardless of what that
other person does. This
could also be called Agape
Love

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
*Agapē (ἀγάπη
agápē) - Means
"love" in modern day
Greek, such as in the
term s'agapo
(Σ'αγαπώ), which
means"I love you".

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
Puppy Love- A
childish, innocent
temporary crush on
someone that you
don‘t know well.
Maternal Love- This
term usually connotes
love that is nurturing,
accepting and
protective. In actuality
this love can also be
given by a father, etc.
Paternal Love- This
term connotes love
that involves guidance

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
Spiritual/Divine Love-
This type of love
recognizes the Divine
light in everyone and
everything.
Love of your country
or patriotism- This is
love for the place you live
or the place that were
born.

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
 Self-Love- This is a positive
feeling that you have about who
you are and what you deserve.
 Brotherly Love- This term
connotes having a feeling of love
for your neighbor, because all
humanity is considered to be part
of a larger family of human beings.
 Tough Love- This term is used to
describe a love that is expressed
by setting boundaries for the good
of the other person. They feel that
this is an act of love because it
stems from a desire for their son‘s
ultimate good and happiness.

SOME TYPES OF LOVE Platonic love - this is the simplest
of all types. There are no strings
attached and no sexual intentions
either.
 Unrequited love - is a love filled
with heartbreaks and one that
almost all of us have experienced.
It‘s the dreaded one sided love,
where you like someone and you
know that person will never like
you back.
 Storge Love - is often described
as a comfortable old shoe
relationship comprised of natural
affection and a sense of belonging
to each other. Many couples dwell
in storge love for years and
misunderstand it as mundane or

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
 Obsessive love - is
usually experienced by the
novices who experience
love for the first time,
probably after having to
deal with the scary
unrequited love. Obsessive
lovers are scared,
insecure, and obviously
obsessive about the
relationship.
 Selfish love - is smart. And
though it involves two
people to create that
relationship, selfish love
also involves two people
who are in love with one
person. Your partner loves

 Unconditional love -
Blessed are the lovers who
experience this special
type of love for each other.
It‘s not easy and it‘s
definitely not something
most people even want to
try. Do you love someone
more than you love
yourself?
 Phileo love - This
cherishes and has tender
affection for the beloved
but it expects a response. It
is a love of relationship,
comradeship, sharing,
communication and
friendship. They share
each other‘s thoughts,
feelings, attitudes, plans
and dreams.SOME TYPES OF LOVE

SOME TYPES OF LOVE
 Crushes - Ever had a crush on someone? The first crush is a
memorable experience, one that‘s filled with confusing jolts in the
stomach, sudden urges to throw up and a stupid sense of grinning
satisfaction each time you see your crush
 Limerence - Limerence, on the other hand, is rather close to a crush
but much more intense and ―weird‖. Have you ever liked someone
madly, but didn‘t ever want to express your love for them, like a
school teacher or an actor, or even a crush?

What is the difference?
LOVE VERSUS INFATUATION

THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE
AND INFATUATION
 Infatuation Leaps Into Bloom.
 Infatuation Is Accompanied By A Sense Of
Uncertainty.
 Infatuation takes your focus from Jesus
 Infatuation Lacks Confidence.
 Love Leads You Up.
 Where is the focus of your heart? Is it on the Lord
Jesus or is it on popularity? Is it on acceptance by
the crowd or the "well done" of the Lord Jesus?
Examine your own heart carefully and in light of
scripture. Where is the Focus of your Heart?

GOD SAYS “NO WAY!” TO THESE THINGS
Fornication
Adultery
Loose talk
Indecent Bawdy jokes
Incest
Masturbation

GODLY YOUNG PEOPLE ARE SAYING NO TO
PREMARITAL SEX

KNOW YOURSELF

KNOW YOURSELF
 Your Background
 Physical Attributes, Career, Health, Finance, Family, Religion,
Background
 Your Personal Character And Values
 Honesty
 Faithfulness
 Hardwork
 Wealth
 Your Dislikes
 About Yourself
 How You Feel About
 Children
 Touching
 Godly Living
 Talking

THIS DETERMINES WHAT YOU EXPECT
 What Do You Expect
Him To Be
 Christian
 Tall,
 Athletically Built,
 Sensitive,
 Affectionate,
 Stockbroker,
 Nurse,
 Wont be angry forever
 What Do Expect Her To
Be
 Christian
 Figure-eight,
 Gentle,
 Artist,
 Empathetic,
 Hardworking
 Homemaker
 Considerate

YOUR PAST
 Any past relationships?
 What lessons?
 What made you appreciate them?
 Any role models of the opposite sex?
 What do you admire about them
 What have you learned from them
 What about people you dislike?

KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR ACCORDING TO
PROVERBS

THE CHARACTER TRAITS OF A GOOD FRIEND

 1. A GOOD FRIEND IS FAITHFUL. Prov 14:20; 19:4,6,7). brother is
born for adversity (17:17)(18:24)(27:10).
 2. A GOOD FRIEND REBUKES US WHEN NECESSARY. There
are things which may need to be said to a friend that are not easy to
say. IA true friend is the one who is honest enough to tell us what
we need to hear, rather than to flatter us.(29:5).
 Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the
wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy (27:5-6).
 Why is it, then, that we seem to think that a wife should never criticize
her husband? Is it not better to be corrected by our closest friend than
by an enemy? Sometimes the kindest thing a wife can do for her
husband is to tell him that his idea is absolutely ridiculous--in a gracious
way, of course.
 3. A GOOD FRIEND IS THOUGHTFUL AND TACTFUL. A good
friend is sensitive to our needs and speaks in such a way that we
are encouraged and enriched. His sensitivity is demonstrated in his
understanding that gaiety and goodwill is not always appropriate nor
appreciated. ―It matters not only ‗what‘ we say, but ‗how,‘ ‗when‘ and
‗why‘ we say it.‖34 (25:20) (27:14).

 4. A GOOD FRIEND SHARPENS US. Not only do we need
to be criticized when necessary, but sometimes we need to
be probed or stretched in our thinking. A good friend does
not allow us to become intellectually stagnant, but prods us
on to higher and greater thoughts.
 Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another (27:17) (20:5).
 Isn‘t this true to life? Don‘t you seek to develop friendships with
those who will challenge your thinking and present you with new
avenues of thought? Why should one of these friends not be
your mate?
 5. A GOOD FRIEND OFFERS US WISE COUNSEL. Those
whom we choose as friends should be marked by wisdom
and thus have godly counsel to offer.
 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man‘s counsel is
sweet to his friend (27:9).
 David, Nabal, and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25.

THE CHARACTER TRAITS OF A BAD FRIEND
 We should shun the following
 1. WE OUGHT NOT ASSOCIATE WITH A FOOL.
 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of
fools will suffer harm (13:20).
 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of
knowledge (14:7).
 2. WE OUGHT NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO
HAVE AN UNCONTROLLABLE TEMPER.
 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-
tempered man, Lest you learn his ways, And find a snare for
yourself (22:24-25).
 3. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO
ARE EVIL:
 Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them; For
their minds devise violence, And their lips talk of trouble (24:1-2).
 He who is a partner with a thief hates his own life; He hears the
oath but tells nothing (29:24).

By Pr. Charles N. E. Amoah, nana.amoah@gmail.com
 4. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ONE WHO IS A
REVOLUTIONARY.
 My son, fear the Lord and the king; Do not associate with
those who are given to change; For their calamity will rise
suddenly, And who knows the ruin that comes from both of
them? (24:21-22)
 There are some who are always out to change things--
society, government, other people. It is not wrong to try to
improve things, but the revolutionary is more bent on
removing than improving. The revolutionary wants change
for the sake of change, not change for the sake of
improvement. Incidentally, some seem bent on finding a
mate who needs improving--a sort of life-long project.
Proverbs does not recommend it.
 5. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO
HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEIR APPETITES.
 He who keeps the law is a discerning son, But he who is a

THE CHARACTER TRAITS OF A GODLY WIFE

 1. A GODLY WIFE IS GODLY. Godliness begins with a proper relationship
to God. A godly wife is, first and foremost, a woman who fears God.
 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she
shall be praised (31:30).
 In contrast, the woman to avoid is the one who does not know or fear God. She
is sometimes referred to as a ―strange woman,‖ that is a foreigner, one who has
no knowledge of the God of Israel (cf. 2:25; 5:3,20; 7:5) 5:6).
 To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress
(6:24).(12:4; 31:10).
 2. A GODLY WIFE IS WISE. You will recall that wisdom is personified as a
woman in the Book of Proverbs (cf. 1:20-33; 8:1-36; 9:1-6). So also the
ideal wife is characterized as a woman of wisdom.
 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own
hands (14:1).
 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue
(31:26).
 The opposite of the godly woman is the woman of folly.
 The woman of folly is boisterous, She is naive, and knows nothing (9:13).
 As a ring of gold in a swine‘s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks
discretion (11:22).

 3. A GODLY WIFE HONORS HER HUSBAND. A man who has
married a godly wife has a wife who will bring honor to him. She is
truly a helper to her husband.
 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames
him is as rottenness in his bones (12:4).
 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack, of gain.
She does him good and not evil All the days of her life (31:11-12).
 An ungodly wife humiliates and harasses her husband. She is not a
helper but a hindrance to her mate. She is ―as rottenness in his bones‖
(12:4). By her haranguing, she makes him miserable: (19:13).
 4. A GODLY WIFE IS GRACIOUS. One reason honor is given the
godly woman is that she is known for her graciousness.
 A gracious woman attains honor, And violent men attain riches (11:16).
 The ungodly woman is spoken of in very unbecoming terms. She is
vexing, due to her contentious nature:
 It is better to live in a corner of a roof, Than in a house shared with a
contentious woman (21:9; cf. 25:24)(21:19).

By Pr. Charles N. E. Amoah, nana.amoah@gmail.com
 5. A GODLY WIFE IS FAITHFUL TO HER HUSBAND.
This is most clearly shown by contrast with the woman
of folly who is an adulteress.
 To deliver you from the strange woman, From the
adulteress who flatters with her words; That leaves the
companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her
God (2:16-17).
 To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue
of the adulteress (6:24).
 ―Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us
delight ourselves with caresses For the man is not at
home. . . ‖ (7:18-19).
 While it is not stated explicitly, it is implied and assumed
that a godly wife is one who maintains sexual purity. She is
a woman who is virtuous or excellent (31:10), in whom her
husband has complete trust (31:11). She does her husband
only good and not evil (31:12).She teaches her son the

THE QUALITIES OF A GODLY HUSBAND

 1. A wise husband is kind and compassionate
(12:10).
 2. A wise husband is honest (29:24).
 3. A wise husband is hard-working (12:11;
27:23-27).
 4. A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19).
 5. A wise husband exercises self-control
(12:15; 16:32).
 6. A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18;
15:1-2,4).
 7. A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27).

 8. A wise husband is willing to be corrected (even by his wife)
and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1).
 9. A wise husband is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).
 10. A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3;
contrast 25:19; 31:3).
 11. A wise husband is forgiving (19:11).
 12. A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).
 13. A wise husband is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12;
29:23).
 14. A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker
(17:1; 18:1,19).

 15. A wise husband has control of his temper
(14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).
 16. A wise husband is a man who avoids
excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).
 17. A wise husband has a concern for others,
especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).
 18. A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9;
26:20).
 19. A wise husband fears God and is obedient to
His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).
 20. A wise husband is not a jealous man (27:4).
 21. A The wise husband has a positive outlook on
life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).

A FEW OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS
 A person who is hard working and persistent is
likely to be financially well off or well on their way
to it.
 A person who has strong moral values is likely to
be spiritual.
 A person who is dogmatic and traditional may be
religious.
 A man who can make more than his wife can
spend will have a happy marriage
 A woman who can doctor her expectations to
meet with her husband‘s capabilities with have a

A FEW OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS – WHAT
QUALITIES SHOULD YOUR PARTNER HAVE?
 Persistence?
 Industriousness?
 Compassion?
 Affection?
 Determination?
 Honesty?
 High Integrity?
 Sensuality?
 Sexuality?
 Self-discipline?
 Which of these is most
important?
 Vivaciousness?
 Out-going?
 Intelligence?
 Wit?
 Worldliness?
 Knowledge?
 Conversant?
 Sociable?
 Entertaining?
 Loyal
 Which of these is most
important?
In what order of importance?

CONSIDER WHAT HE/SHE MUST NOT HAVE
 Dishonesty?
 Lack of integrity?
 Laziness?
 Social ineptitude?
 Disorderliness?
 Indiscipline?
 Infidelity?

KNOW WHERE TO LOOK

SOCIAL NETWORKS OFFLINE
 At school
 At church
 At work
 At play

ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORKS
 Face Book
 Yahoo Mail And Chat Rooms
 Online Groups
 These also abound with scammers and 419ers. So
seeing is believing

WHEN YOU FIND WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

APPLICATION
 Society thinks women should not be the one to
approach first
 Men should approach wisely
 Don‘t be brash, proud, or timid
 Strike the iron when it is hot
 If at first you don‘t succeed, try again
 Accept defeat early

THE RELATIONSHIP
 Make haste slowly
 Watch out for a woman who offers her body
 Watch out for a man who pressures you for
sex
 Be as independent as you can as a woman
 Be as courteous as you can as a man
 Consider the other person‘s challenges

A FEW QUESTIONS TO ASK
 Does this relationship help me do what God
wants me to do?
 Do his/her people like me, manage me, accept
me or hate me
 Do I feel proud to introduce him/her?

CAN YOU TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT?
 You can trust the following:
 God
 Yourself
 Your loving concerned parents
 Any wise, Christian married older person you
have learned to trust over the years. For
balance you can check with someone of the
opposite sex too.
 An age mate who worships with you and who
can be trusted

 All in all the buck finally stops with you but you
must be considerate when making your final
decision.
 Consider your family
 Consider your fiancé(e)‘s family
 Statements made by well meaning individuals
including your parents.
 In Africa, we don‘t marry individuals – we
marry whole families and communities.

CAVEAT EMPTOR
 A person‘s relationship with their parent of the
opposite sex usually transfers to their spouse.
This is true for a lot of couples. If its good, you‘ll
enjoy.
 If the family does not accept you at the outset,
doesn‘t change as the relationship progresses,
expect it to get progressively worse with time.
Sometimes it may even seem that your spouse
has joined their family against you.
 If your fiancé(e)‘s past is not clear, get to know.
Avoid pleasant or unpleasant surprises in the

IN ANY CASE, IT SEEMS MORE ADVANTAGEOUS
TO MARRY AN OLD FRIEND WHO IS NOT AFRAID
TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES WITH YOU
THAN TO MARRY A NEW AMOROUS INTEREST.

SORRY IF I HURT YOU…
 However unpleasant some of the information
given above may seem, please keep in mind
the following:
 They are provided to help thoroughly furnish you
unto all good works in your marriage
 The potential pitfalls in relationships can be
avoided
 If you ignore the stops then you should know what
to expect.
 There is no perfect marriage anywhere under this
sun
 However, taking precautions increases the

WHICH OF THESE COUPLES ARE MATCHED AND WHICH ARE MATED? HOW
DO YOU KNOW?
Finally there
must be An
Urge on the
Verge of a
Merge. At
the end of
the day the
two of you
must be
MATCHED
and just not
MATED.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. ANY QUESTIONS?
May you
have a
successful
search that
results in a
satisfying
match.
Thank you
very much.

Choosing a partner new

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