An ethical will is a non-binding document created to pass on wisdom, values, and life lessons from an individual to their loved ones. It can take various forms like letters, audio or video recordings. The document discusses the origins of ethical wills in Jewish traditions and provides examples of ethical wills from different time periods and cultures. A five-step process is outlined for creating an ethical will, including identifying the audience, reflecting on intentions and values, taking notes, outlining topics, and composing the document.

1. Ethical Wills:
What you have learned is as valuable as what you have earned.
Each of us is several people over the course of our lifetime:
someone’s child, friend, husband/wife, parent, etc. At each
stage we learn something – usually several somethings –
about life.
These are called life lessons…or Wisdom. So over time, the
custom arose of composing an ethical will, bequeathing our
wisdom to our descendants.
-- Rabbi Harold S. Kushner (paraphrased)

2. What Is an Ethical Will?
An ethical will is a non-binding letter or recording
created for your loved ones. It is created with the
intention of lasting beyond your lifetime, for the
purpose of passing on values, wisdom, stories,
wishes, feelings, advice or important information.

4. Lori Klein video 6:20 to 9:00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2flXo9lKhM

5. How is an Ethical Will Different
from a Legal Will?
Your legal will addresses:
“What do I want my loved ones to have?” Your legal will
defines and distributes your material assets.
Your ethical will addresses:
“What do I want them to know?” In a non-binding fashion, your ethical will
captures and transfers your inner richness with the same purposeful intention.

6. Traditionally it is a letter or collection of letters. Other forms it could take are
audio, video or multi-media versions.
Some people write one letter to the entire family, or separate letters to each
member of the family. It can be shared during your lifetime or after your death.
Whatever the form, it is a personal message and not a legally binding document.
So…what form does an ethical will take?

7. Who makes an ethical will and why?
Thoughtful, loving adults who wish to
communicate important information
or create an enduring personal
message for their loved ones or
successors. An ethical will promises to
have an enduring impact on all who
receive it. And it is deeply satisfying to
create.

8. When should you start writing an ethical will?
Right now. Don’t risk being “too late.” Start small and
update it as you and your audience age and change.
Sharing it during your lifetime can initiate
meaningful conversation, but you may prefer it to be
read only after your death. Make sure it is signed
and dated and can be easily found.

9. A Brief History
Traditional Wills (Bible, Rabbis)
What had been an oral tradition going back to Old Testament patriarchs
was first formalized into a written form in the late 12th century, when
Jewish fathers began writing their sons parting letters of wisdom and
advice. These letters came to be called ethical wills.

10. Rabbi Moshe Yehoshua Zelig Hakohen (c. 1790 – 1855)
As head of the Rabbinic Court in Latvia, he
incorporated eighty-nine items into his will --
intermingling religious and secular rules –
and presented them in no particular order.
Here are a few:
• Strengthen oneself to arise in the morning
to the service of the Creator
• Pray with utmost devotion
• Avoid business transactions that appear
difficult to complete successfully ( good
advice, even today!)
• Prepare burial garments. (number 13 on his
list – not a good sign)
Main synagogue in Latvia

11. Benjamin M. Roth, written to his son in 1854
• Always keep your conscience clear -- never commit an action
which you will regret afterward
• Consider what you possess as a trust given you by God
• Never leave the religion that is yours by birth
• Have no relations with a prostitute. Her breath is poison, her word
the bite of a snake; and they are all alike. (He seems to know a lot
about prostitutes.)
• And, finally, be frugal, avoid gambling, and avoid the company of
drunkards and merrymakers. (This guy’s a real good-time Charlie.)

12. Holocaust wills
Holocaust wills and letters
reveal a wide range of
individual responses to the
unbelievable catastrophe
which overtook their
writers. Some demand
vengeance and a
continuing fight to the
death with the oppressor.
Others reveal a struggle to
maintain the author’s
human dignity in the face
of evil.

13. Hirsh Moshe Zaddok – a will discovered by writer’s
brother
To every man and woman! They
treated us like animals in the forest.
Seven days and nights we hid in an
attic with no food or water. On the
eighth day they rained grenades on
us and torched the building.
Brothers! Avenge us! Show them
no mercy, just as they had no pity
on us. Vengeance – this must be
your sacred mission in life.Ruins of Kovno ghetto

14. Will of young woman, written on synagogue in Kovel
– January, 1945
“ I am a daughter of Israel,
twenty years old. O how lovely
is the world about us! Why
should they destroy us when
everything within me desires
and yearns for life. Have my last
minutes really arrived?
Vengeance! Come and avenge
me, whoever reads this last
request of mine.

15. “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good
at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world
gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever
approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the
sufferings of millions yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think
that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that
peace and tranquility will return again.”
-- Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl
Echoes of Anne Frank

16. Published in a ghetto newspaper in Warsaw-
Krakow, 1940, this will was signed only “Your Mother”
Judaism, my child, is the struggle to bring down God upon earth, a struggle for
the sanctification of the human heart. This struggle your people wages not with
physical force but with spirit, with sincere, heartfelt prayers, and by a constant
striving for truth and justice.
You must go to work alongside people of other nations…and you will teach them
that they must come to a brotherhood of nations and to a union of all nations
with God. You may ask, “How does one speak to them?” This is how: “’Thou shalt
not murder; thou shalt not steal; thou shalt covet; love thy neighbor as thyself…”
Do these things and through merit, my child, you will be victorious.

17. Wills from Israel
Jews around the world and in Israel have diverse and complex feelings
regarding their connection to Israel. Some come to be buried on what they
consider holy ground; others come to escape persecution or simply to build
the country and develop the land; in the United States, people have built
philanthropic bridges to it from afar, but also have personal links to it.
Overall, it can be said that Jews have a visceral, emotional connection to
Israel. These ethical wills reflect the diversity of meaning Israel has had for
this cross-section of Jews.

18. Hannah Senesh (1921- 1944)
Hannah Senesh immigrated to Palestine from Hungary
before the outbreak of World War II. She volunteered,
however, for the parachute corps and was dropped behind
enemy lines. Senesh was captured by the Nazis and
executed in 1944.
Here are excerpts from a letter to her brother George:
Talking about Israel…”First of all, I love it. Not everything. I
respect the people who believe in something, respect their
idealistic struggle with the daily realities.” She goes on…”
We have the need of one good thing: people who are
brave and without prejudices, who are not robots, who
want to think for themselves and not accept outmoded
ideas.

19. Senesh continues… “Don’t think I see everything
through rose-colored glasses. My faith is a
subjective matter, and not the result of outer
conditions. I see the difficulties clearly, both
inside and out. But I see the good side, and above
all, I think this is the only way.
Senesh’s plan was to have her brother receive this
letter only if she died in battle, or after they met
in Palestine. She concludes, “ Enough of this
letter. I hope you will never receive it. But if you
do, only after we have met. And if it should be
otherwise, George dear, I embrace you with
everlasting love.”
Hannah and her brother

20. Dvora Waysman, a distinguished writer in Israel. She
emigrated from Australia and is raising her four children in
Israel. This is her ethical will to them.
• I am leaving you the fragrance of a Jerusalem morning…unforgettable
perfume of thyme, sage, and rosemary that wafts down from the
Judean hills.
• I am leaving you an extended family – the whole house of Israel. They
are your people. They will celebrate with you in joy, grieve with you in
sorrow.
• I am leaving you faith of your forefathers. Here, no one will ever
laugh at your beliefs, call you “Jew” as an insult.
• I am leaving you pride. Hold your head high. This is your country,
your birthright.

21. Modern Ethical Wills:
Contemporary American Jews
Questions to ask yourself
• What gave your life satisfaction and meaning?
• What is the value of your story?
• How you want to be remembered?

22. Sam Levinson – American Humorist
“I leave you…some four-letter words for all occasions”

23. Lori Klein video – 36:45 to 41:15
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2flXo9lKhM

24. Getting Started
Five steps to create your ethical will
1. Identify those you wish to address
2. Consider your intentions and opening lines
3. Reflect upon what you want to say. Make brief notes for your own reference.
4. Create an outline for your letter or recording
5. Compose your ethical will using your outline to guide you.

25. Identify your audience
Imagine those who will receive your letter…
• Who will appreciate and safeguard this document?
• Do I want an intimate letter read by a few or a more
public document read by many?
• Do I want to write just one letter or multiple letters?
• Do I want to create a joint document with my spouse?

26. Consider your
intentions
1. Your feelings: love and hopes for those you address
2. Your values: what gives meaning and purpose to your life
3. Your perspective: share what life has taught you
4. Your history: link the past with present and future

27. Reflect and make brief notes
• Brainstorm by considering range of possible topics
• Create notes for reference
• Focus on what is most important to communicate
Ask yourself:
• What are the intangibles that make my life rich?
• What do I want my loved ones to inherit, in the broadest sense of the
word?

28. Create an outline
Using your notes create a loose outline.
• If you had time or space to say only one thing,
what would it be?
• What do you want to write about first and what
can wait

29. Compose your ethical will
• Start by saying the most important thing.
• New thoughts and insights will come to you as you write.
• Relax and be yourself: those who read this will want to hear your unique and
genuine voice.
• Create a first draft and let it sit awhile.
• Then revisit with a fresh perspective until you have a version that feels just
right.
• Sign and date it: review and update as you see fit