This is the fourth slideshow in a 7-part presentation. It's about Brad and Adam's trip through Turkey.

2. The boat was really starting to become repetitive for Adam and myself.

3. We entertained ourselves by watching the nearly dead play Giant Chess.

4. When they were done, Adam made out with a Knight.

5. “ I am a Chess Beast!”

7. Our boat entered Turkey through the port of Izmir.

8. Izmir is the second largest port city in Turkey.

9. Turkish dancers greeted us as we came off the boat.

10. They were really just angling for donations. Still, Turkey seemed fun so far!

11. We got swarmed by cabbies as we exited the terminal.

12. This one didn’t care so much about getting us in his ride.

13. Most of the tourists got off the boat and onto a tour bus, but Adam and I decided to head out on our own.

14. We walked everywhere, since most of the “Taksis” we saw were unmanned.

15. Besides, going on foot gave us more photo opportunities.

16. Everything in Turkey seemed “Western,” but still somewhat foreign.

17. For instance, this is a Turkish Detective Agency.

18. The Turkish advertisements did not have any real people in them.

19. I didn’t have a dryer either in college, but I used my dorm’s laundromat.

20. On-campus parking looked pretty rough.

21. The Turkish seemed to park wherever they please.

22. Adam did not think this was notable.

23. I do not know if this establishment sells two items, or one item that is particularly good.

24. This establishment sells one item.

25. Unlike the advertisements, all of the public artworks were of people.

26. It was Sunday morning, so there were few people on the street.

27. That’s why the square isn’t bustling that much.

28. I imagine it’s very difficult to walk on the sidewalk during rush hour.

29. Adam and I saw that, even in residential areas, people parked wherever they pleased.

30. Ladies’ boots seemed to be a popular item in Izmir’s commercial sector.

31. Adam and I checked out the Turkish Starbucks. It’s exactly like the ones in the States.

32. I considered buying from this vendor, but my gut told me I should stay away from Turkish food.

33. See! Boots were the rage.

34. Lots of public status around Izmir...

35. But I don’t know what any of them were about because I couldn’t read their plaques.

36. In addition to statues, there were also a lot of Turkish flags around the place.

37. It seems to be a very nationalist country.

38. Why, look here! It’s a statue AND a flag!

39. I’ll level with ya’: I’m not going to have a lot of insight on this place.

40. For instance, I think this is a monument to the liberation of Turkey…

41. … But I don’t really know, because I can’t read Turkish.

42. This lady met us at the statue. I’ll call her Roseanne Bark.

43. Rosy liked us, so she followed us everywhere.

44. I think she liked the way Adam smelled.

45. After Greece, I was already used to the idea of being a pack leader, so I was fine with a guard dog.

46. Rosy, Adam, and I walked past many crowded Turkish Apartments.

47. And past the Turkish police.

48. We considered getting breakfast at Denny’s, but even an upstanding chain like that might be dangerous in Turkey.

49. We also considered going to the Carlsberg Beer House, But everything was way overpriced.

50. I had my preconceptions about Turkey, but it seemed like the place had everything we have.

51. Concerts…

52. Movies…

53. Stalking stray dogs…

54. Rosy found two more friends, and they all started to follow Adam and myself as we walked.

55. We stopped for a bit so the dogs could chase pigeons.

56. Adam took just as many pictures as I did, but you won’t see any of them because this is my deal.

57. Eventually our pack chased off all of the birds.

58. Afterward the group paid its respects to another random liberation statue.

59. ...Then, with a bit of conferencing, we all decided to head away from the port.

60. It seems that the best way to brand your Turkish company is to put “Turk” in the name.

61. To think, just 30 years ago, a Turk Cell had far more frightening implications for travelers.

62. Most everything the stores sold did not interest me.

63. We quickly learned that, once you get away from the port, not every part of Turkey is all that nice.

64. We also learned that our pack probably had bad dietary habits, because they started eating grass.

65. We saw many, many mosques throughout Turkey.

66. A lot of really impressive architecture, too.

67. The dogs were only interested in the McDonald’s fries they found on the street.

68. More flags! Jeez, this place shows its colors more than any country so far. Outside of the U.S., of course.

69. Since the standards are so low, I could probably be a Turkish carpenter.

70. Eventually our canine friends left us to go chase a cat under a car.

71. Adam and I went to an Internet Café to email family. These guys are checking out Turkish Facebook. Seriously.

72. This is Konak Square, the busiest part of Izmir.

73. The Izmir Clock Tower is there. It was built in 1901 for a very boring, insignificant reason.

74. Jeez, this square is purty.

75. It’s the greenest part of Izmir!

76. Yeah, I really have nothing to say about Turkey, so I’m going to shut up for a bit.

81. Okay, maybe some of these pictures need context.

82. These guys appeared to be setting up for a children’s daycare using other people’s intellectual property.

83. “ Ain’t I a Stinker?”

84. This is a Turkish restaurant. Notice it has space for one chair inside.

85. We got chased away from the previous restaurant by an Old Turkish woman. I have no idea why.

86. But these guys were cool, even though I still wouldn’t eat that meat.

87. I don’t know what this stuff is. However, I assume by its color that it’s dessert.

88. Adam and I passed a chess parlor while walking around. Only children were in the front, and all of the mothers watched in the back.

89. Adam and I stopped at a Turkish candy store. Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, the founder of Turkey, watched as we ate.

90. Adam bought the food, since I didn’t have any Turkish Lire on me.

91. I don’t know what the Turkish called it, but it was fried sugar. It tasted like you’d expect.

92. I assume this poster says “Swine Flu is not welcome here.”

93. Adam and I got lost a lot in Turkey.

94. At one point we just gave up on trying to find landmarks And we romped on the local playground for 30 minutes.

95. “ Where the heck are we?”

96. We considered taking this bus, but any place with that many vowels has to be dangerous.

97. Walking around, Adam and I found a Turkish Rubber Tree.

98. At this point I noticed the locals did not like me taking pictures of them. I continued to do so, since I’m a rascal.

99. We eventually found a landmark in the Izmir Cultural Center.

100. But we also discovered that the pigeons from earlier pooped in my hair.

101. After cleaning up in a Burger King bathroom, we entered the village, were there are many hills…

102. And many slopes.

103. Perhaps we should have stayed away from some parts of the village...

104. But what sights we saw!

105. Some were not so pretty.

106. Notice that every window and door has bars on them.

107. This lady is lowering down a basket full of money so this food vendor can give her breakfast.

108. I thought this was a backyard, but apparently it’s a park.

109. The locals left out a lot of cat food for the neighborhood strays.

110. Satellite TV was common in the village, since all of the buildings were too old to have cable.

111. As I said before, I don’t have much to say about some of these pictures.

112. So I’ll just give you some facts about Turkey.

113. It’s most well-known as the “successor state” of the Ottoman empire, which was a massive entity in the 17 th century.

114. It was founded as a secular, democratic republic in 1923 after the Ottoman empire fell in World War I.

115. While it has historical and cultural ties to the Middle East, it’s currently a candidate country for the European Union.

116. Although Turkey is secular, 99 percent of the people are Muslim.

117. All Turkish citizens over the age of 18 have the right to vote. Women, too.

118. Turkey: the Jewel of Eurasia! Come witness its beauty today!

119. Okay, so...back to the trip. Adam endangered himself by licking non-kosher power lines.

120. Then we walked past some fruit stands with, again, no intention of buying anything.

121. Strays were everywhere. They didn’t follow us. They were too busy sleeping to catch Adam’s scent.

122. Everything was pretty run-down, but the Mosques always looked nice.

123. It’s kind of hard to portray this with a picture, but I was actually kind of unsettled by this area.

124. The guys who were delivering food earlier were coming back to this block to prepare more.

125. I don’t have many pictures of it, But Adam and I got a lot of dirty looks around these parts.

126. I mean, these kids were really friendly, and wanted to play with us.

127. But these guys were not. They angrily hollered for us to come meet them. Then they shouted “Money money money!” as we walked away.

128. We were definitely lost (again), so we got directions from the local police station.

129. The station’s guard dog eyed us and ate bones as we talked to one of the Police Turks.

130. To paraphrase Ice Cube, Friend the police!

131. Adam and I got directions to a Turkish Synagogue...

132. And we got lost immediately after.

133. It didn’t matter, though, ‘cause I found an awesome mosque.

134. Adam couldn’t go in, of course.

135. Praise be to Mohammed, and all of his elaborate ornamentation!

136. Remember my Vatican City “Scared vs. Profane” theme? Yeah. That applies here, too.

137. Adam and I went from the mosque to a Turkish market.

138. The market was notable for its varied and seemingly unrelated assortment of merchandise. Jewelry Sports Team Sweaters Boxers Toys

139. I would not buy my nuts of the street, but that’s me.

140. Can you find the white person?

141. It’s pretty cool that the Turkish sell clothes for Americans.

142. And who would have thunk it… The Turkish market has lots and lots of boots!

143. The Food Purveyors were circulating through the market, too.

144. Adam and I left the market after a couple hours, since we had to get back to the boat.

145. We had no idea where we were, but the walk back was nice, So we didn’t mind.

149. Eventually Adam and I found our way back to Kordon Square, where tourists are supposed to be.

150. We found many carnival games along the strip.

151. This guy was letting people shoot his rifle at balloons for lire.

152. The square had a lot of ridiculous “Western” style art.

153. Adam and I started to hurry, since it looked like it would rain at any moment.

154. But first I attempted to be an artistic photographer!

155. We left Turkey, thankful we found our way home.

156. Bonus picture: Men taking an ironic photo in front of duty-free cigarettes.