This document summarizes two stories about youth sports coaches. The first story is about a tennis instructor whose encouraging tone and obvious care for her students compelled a neighbor to meet her and thank her. The second story is about a man who moved homes because nearby soccer coaches and parents constantly screamed profanities at children during games. The document argues the first coach understands how to motivate children through passion, while the second prioritizes winning over the well-being of students. It encourages coaches to reflect on how their communication influences not just students but whole communities.

1. Are You That Voice?!
Coachingschool.org 2007 !
Transcript !
!
That was the question from a well-dressed woman in her mid-fifties navigating her way
through the hibiscus bushes. It was a question posed to a tennis instructor who had just
finished a lesson for a group of young children as she picked up the remaining balls
against the fence.!
!
“Are you that voice that I have been hearing?” “Yes” replied the instructor, a little
reluctantly, feeling like she had been called into the principles office, or like someone
had been spying on her. “I wanted to come meet you,” said the woman. “I wanted to
personally come and meet the person behind the voice I have been hearing talk to
those children in such a wonderful way. You encourage them so much. I can tell that
you really care for them. It’s obvious that you love what you’re doing and it is so
contagious! I love hearing the way you make learning things fun. I get excited just
listening to you.”!
!
You see this woman lived within voice distance of the courts where this instructor was
giving tennis lessons, but there the tall hibiscus bushes obscured her view of the public
courts. But she was so compelled by how this instructor treated, valued and talked to
her students that she just had to meet her and thank her. She wasn’t even a parent of
one of the kids. She was just a neighbor that overheard the joy and creativity that this
instructor imparted to her young students.!
!
Coach, have you ever had someone say that after watching your practice? Why not?
YOU KNOW you really care for the kids you coach. That you want them to learn. To
get better. But do your actions always communicate that? Does your tone of voice
warrant that kind of praise? Why not? “You don’t know my kids,” you respond. You’re
right. But should it matter? What does your tone of voice communicate to your kids?
What does your tone to the kids communicate to their parents? What does your tone of
voice communicate to neighbors or those watching?!
!
A few years ago I sat next to a gentleman on an airplane that was intrigued by my
description of what I do as we traded stories. His story was the opposite of woman
compelled to thank the tennis instructor. He and his wife lived in a beautiful house that
bordered a park. It was a beautiful park and they enjoyed many wonderful Saturday
mornings having breakfasts outside on the patio. That is until the city starting using the
park for soccer games. Their quiet, peaceful patio was in earshot of the soccer games
where week after week they listened to coaches and parents scream at their kids. He
noted that over the years that followed the vocalizations were getting progressively
worse. And they got to such a level that they eventually decided to move. He said it
was so frustrating trying to enjoy a peaceful time outside interrupted by parents and
coaches dropping the f-bomb all too often.!
!

2. What is the difference between these two stories? The mindset of the coach. The first
is from a coach that gets it. A coach that listens to the CoachingMinute and lives it. A
coach that knows how to motivate children. A coach that knows that if kids like what
they’re doing, kids will want to learn more. And the more they learn, the better they will
perform. A coach that communicates with such passion that neighbors are compelled to
meet her and say thank you.!
!
The second story was about a group of adults that can justify any type behavior and
communication all in the name of winning and performance. A style that not only turns
off kids, but compels neighbors to move.!
!
On a continuum between these two stories where are you?!
!
Coach, you have the power to make an incredible difference in the lives of the kids you
coach. You also have the power to make a difference to their parents. And without
knowing it, you have the power to affect a neighborhood. !
!
So, to the tennis coach in California, we say thank you and way to go Susan (Nardi)!
You have not only influenced your kids and neighborhood, your story has now
influenced thousand of coaches in over 25 countries!!
!
Remember it only takes a minute to make a difference that can last a lifetime. The
archives of the CoachingMinute are available by subscribing to the CoachingEZine.!
This is your online coach with another timeout for a CoachingMinute.!
!
What Gary Avischious founder of Coaching School says about Susan Nardi:
!
Susan is one of the best at applying head to heart knowledge to what she does on the
court. She is a broad student of the game, learning and motivation and knows how to
get kids to respond. If you have anything to do with kids’s tennis then you need to listen
and learn from what Susan does on the court.