This document provides 6 ways to guarantee a lousy start to a new fall in youth ministry. They include: 1) Assuming the group is the same when new members join and others leave, changing group dynamics. 2) Forcing physical interaction through icebreakers with strangers. 3) Having skits where someone is ridiculed as the butt of a joke. 4) Singing songs only long-time members know, alienating newcomers. 5) Perpetuating inside jokes from past years that exclude new members. 6) Starting with a huge kick-off event that sets unrealistic expectations that can't be sustained.

1. 6 Ways to Guarantee a Lousy Start to a new Fall in YOURYouth MINISTRY

2. Assume you are working with the same old group. "It's just that a few youth have left and a few new ones have joined the group." Not so. It's paramount that we see each fall as a new start, a new group, a new community. With some youth graduating on to college and work, and younger youth joining the activities for the first time, the chemistry of the group shifts and it's like starting all over again. Ignoring this reality can result in the long-time members developing a sense of privilege and new members receiving the message very quickly they that will have to earn their place in the already established group. 1

3. Play games the first few meetings that force physical interaction. Nothing will ensure that your shy teens and introverts have a terrible first impression of your ministry like making them participate in highly interactive icebreakers and community builders right off the bat, forcing them to do things like getting tied into a human knot with a bunch of strangers or building a human pyramid. (Those "repeat everyone's name in order" games are pretty intimidating, too.) Interaction is important, of course, but don't force it and don't introduce too much too fast!). Icebreakers are fine, but perhaps start with low threat activities and work your way up to the more elaborate team-building games over the course of several weeks. 2

4. Do skits/pranks where someone is the butt of the joke. Don't you just love those youth group skits where some unsuspecting teen gets a bucket of water dumped on his head (or down his pants) or a whipped cream pie pushed in her face? (Well, many people don't. Even if the "victim" laughs and plays along, s/he may quietly resent being ridiculed for everyone else's amusement. I could write a book about the problem with prank skits in youth ministry, but let's move on...) 3

5. Sing songs to which only older youth know the words. How much fun is it going to a youth ministry gathering where there are those clever gimmick songs ("Star-Trekkin!") that only the teens who have been coming to that group for 3 years know the words and all the actions! Enjoy the hilarity as everyone else has to awkwardly stand around and just listen or else prove they are "one of the group" by anxiously memorizing the words! (This approach only serves to alienate new members of the community and sends a loud message: "You don't belong...yet.“ At the very least, project the words or provide printed copies and give the new teens time to catch up.) Which leads us to #4... 4

6. Perpetuate inside jokes and "remember when" stories from year’s past. Nothing is funnier than the youth minister reminding everyone about "that wacky thing Steve did at last year’s fall retreat" or "the talent show skit that got Cindy into trouble with the senior minister," even though none of the younger youth have any idea what everyone is laughing at! (Again, this a great way to send the message "We of the inner circle have a history together. You gotta earn your way into the inner circle here by putting in your time.") 5

7. Start with a huge kick-off event that screams “We are bigger and better!” It’s tempting to want to start the fall with a bang as a way to draw in new youth. The problem: there is nowhere to go but down and now you’ve raised expectations that you can’t possibly sustain Sunday to Sunday. What happens when you start to introduce Bible study, contemplative worship, or serious discussion topics? Some youth might suspect a bait and switch! Why not reverse this trend and start small, working up to the “big bang” at the end of the school year with a mission trip or special retreat? 6