Men face a number of hurdles in divorce, from finance to health. Here are four that can have a huge impact on you during the process.

2. Divorce is not easy for anyone. It may be the right choice, it may be what needs to happen,
but that doesn’t make it simple or comfortable. Men and women face a number of different
issues during the dissolution of a marriage, from the tangible, concrete, down and dirty
details—things that can be measured and accounted for, like money and property—to those
that are much less quantifiable, like the emotional stress and pain of separation.

3. For men, the prospect of divorce brings with it a unique set of
complications, problems, and issues. Though ending a marriage and
moving forward with your life can be a liberation, the process may also
come with consequences, both expected and otherwise.

4. Statistically speaking, women file for the vast majority of divorces. According to one recent
study, wives initiate nearly 70%. One way to look at what this means is that many women
appear to be coming to terms with the death of a marriage before it is officially over, whereas
men may be left to do so during and after the fact.

5. Practically speaking, if your wife files for divorce, and it comes as a surprise,
it can indicate that she is already on her way to coping with the emotional
impact. You, on the other hand, may have to manage an emotional
rollercoaster while also dealing with the day-to-day realities of going
through this separation.

6. Further complicating matters are the social constructs that say men are supposed to bottle up
emotions so as not to appear weak or somehow less manly. Men are stereotypically strong
and silent and don’t outwardly express their feelings. When dealing with what can be an
incredibly upsetting, even excruciating situation, attempting to keep a stiff upper lip and
pretend everything is fine when it isn’t can be difficult and unhealthy. Still, many men opt to
suffer in solitude instead of seeking out the consolation of friends, loved ones, or even
professionals to help process this grief.

7. Divorce can deliver a chaotic mix of feelings, including guilt, anxiety, and
even fear. Self-esteem and self-worth can take a significant hit. Though
these responses are not exclusive to men, this can be a heavy weight to
bear, one that is hard to measure, and one that too many men attempt to
carry alone.

8. If there are minor children involved in the dissolution of a marriage, the situation becomes
even more complex. When the kids come into play, it can intensify a strained, nerve-wracking
situation, and further complicate what may already be a tricky, delicate process.

9. In the case of many divorces, mothers wind up with
majority custody. For a father to become the primary
guardian, he often faces a long, uphill battle. Being separated
from your kids can be tough and painful, which may continue
to feed into sensitive emotional issues.

10. Going from seeing sons and daughters regularly to every other weekend or only on
prearranged days, is a huge change, one that can be heartbreaking. Especially if this physical
distance leads to an emotional gap. It can be much more demanding to maintain a close
relationship and bond with your children if you’re not often able to see them and spend time
with them.

11. In many cases, this loss can be just as traumatizing, if not more so, than the
actual divorce. However, it is also imperative to keep their well-being and
best interests in mind. No matter how contentious or bitter your split, it’s
important not to use them as pawns, bargaining chips, or for petty acts of
revenge. No matter the state of the relationship between you and your ex,
kids need a sense of stability and security, and to know that their father
loves them.

12. The financial burden of divorce can be substantial. Just the process of dissolving a marriage
may very well be costly. There are legal charges to take into account, and attorney’s fees can
add up quickly.

13. Beyond these expenses, your final settlement may order you to pay off all
or part of a debt that was acquired during your marriage. At the end of the
day, joint savings, property, and assets will likely be divided between you
and your former spouse, leaving you fewer resources and much less capital
than before.

14. In custody cases, shared homes often go to the custodial parent. If that is the wife and
mother, you may wind up being saddled with the cost of moving, replacing items like
furniture and appliances, and more incidental expenditures.

15. When there are kids involved, child support may prove to be a huge
expense. The same goes for situations where spousal support is awarded
to you ex. Additional child care costs, health insurance premiums, and even
changes in your tax status may further bite into your budget. Moving
forward, balancing your finances and accounting for all of these new
expenses may become more important than ever.

16. In the midst of drastic change and having your life uprooted in dramatic fashion, one of the
issues men face is increased health concerns after divorce. We talked some about the
emotional impact, but following a split, men have been shown to be at an elevated risk for
hypertension, heart disease, and even cancer, among other concerns.

17. Getting back out there after divorce is no easy task, and moving forward is
a challenge. The loss of a wife, of a partner, and possibly children, can be
monumental, even crushing. Facing a new, uncertain future, it’s easy for
men to sink into depression and to turn to alcohol, drugs, and other high-
risk behaviors to fill a void. Suicide rates tend to increase in men in the
wake of divorce.

18. While that may be the more extreme end of the spectrum, it’s easy to lose motivation to
exercise, eat right, and generally take care of yourself. Making sure to maintain your physical
and mental welfare in these tough times may be a priority worth setting.

19. These are just some of the issues men face after divorce. Things are
changing out there in the world, though it is a gradual process. Social roles
are evolving. Men are no longer always expected to be the sole bread-
winner, or to be stoic and stone-faced when confronted with deeply
painful, emotional realities. Stay-at-home dads are increasingly common,
and child-rearing is no longer the exclusive domain of mothers.

20. This shift is an ongoing progression, but it is being reflected in practical ways. Court decisions
increasingly recognize the importance of having both parents in a child’s life, and men and
women are on more even footing when it comes to custody than ever before. There is also an
ever-increasing pool of services and resources for men going through and dealing with the
aftermath of divorce. This ranges from support groups to lifestyle blogs to professional
therapy.

21. Divorce can be a trying, difficult time, and there are a number of issues
men face. These can be tricky times, but one way to make your case flow as
smooth as possible, and to minimize some of these concerns, may be to
enlist the help of an attorney. An experienced lawyer can help steer you
through the legal process, and may have suggestions to help look after
other areas of your life. They’ve been there and seen this, and their advice
may prove to be incredibly valuable.

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