1. The document criticizes and debunks 11 supposed "food hacks" that are presented as saving time or making cooking easier but are actually bizarre, dangerous, or less efficient than traditional methods. 2. Examples criticized include slicing tomatoes between lids, using a panini press to make omelettes, squeezing lemons with tongs, and cooking vegetables in the dishwasher. 3. The document provides better techniques for tasks like preparing butternut squash, chopping herbs, cooking eggs, and cooking vegetables. It concludes by promoting the author's own book of practical cooking tips as more useful than gimmicky "hacks."

1. 10 Stupid Food Hacks
and a
Blatantly Obvious One!

2. I am all for good ideas that will save time, make cooking easier or
meals better but some of the so called hacks I have been seeing
recently are bizarre!
Here are 11 that I am totally hacked off with!

3. 1. Halve little grape or cherry tomatoes by placing
them between two plastic lids.
Press down the top lid and gently slice
through the tomatoes. Yogurt lids are
suggested for this.
How many tomatoes can you do at a
time with a pair of yogurt lids? Ten-ish?
How long does it take? I think it would
be quicker, easier and safer to cut 10 or
so little tomatoes in half with a knife
than try to hold them in place between
two lids and slide a knife between.
Is it really beyond people to do this 10
times?

4. 2. Use a Panini Maker to Make Omelettes
Well really! A panini maker will just result in some cooked egg which
is nothing like the light moist dish deserving of the name “omelette”.
This is how to make an omelette …

5. ~ Break 2 or 3 fresh eggs into a bowl (you’d have to do this with a panini maker
too).
~ Season and lightly beat together just to break the whites into the yolks, there is
no need to whisk till fully amalgamated (same for a panini maker but I think it
would need to be fully whisked).
~ Melt a knob of butter in a non-stick frying pan (or grease your panini maker)
~ When the butter has melted and starts to foam swirl it about the pan and pour
in the eggs.
~ Allow to sit over the heat for a few seconds and when you see the edges start to
solidify gently lift them with a spatula, tilt the pan and encourage the runny egg on
top to flow to the side of the pan and under the cooked egg.
~ Keep doing this till the top of the omelette is merely moist.
~ Add any fillings and fold one half of the omelette over the other.
~ Slide onto a warm plate.

6. 3. Squeeze lemons with tongs – why?
Hands are a great tool for squeezing lemons (useful ‘hack’
– wiggle your clean fingers in the cavity of the fruit to
squeeze out every drop).
Purpose made lemon juicers work perfectly, of course,
they get all the juice and they catch the pips.
Tongs - I’ve just tried doing this and found it tricky,
uncontrollably squirty and ridiculous.
My findings …

7. 4. Two suggestions for “coping” with butternut squash
i) “Use a mallet to tap your knife into the squash” –
this sounds dangerous to me.
ii) “To avoid ‘hours of terror’ before preparing a
squash and “many excruciating minutes” cutting it,
prick it with a fork and put in the microwave for a few
minutes first.” That might help and is certainly
preferable to bashing a knife with a mallet!
Alternatively just a large sharp knife for cutting and a
smaller sharp knife or potato peeler for peeling will do the
job nicely, read on …

8. ~ Lay the squash on its side and cut off the rounded end of the squash (1).
~ Cut it roughly in half just at the end of the long straight bit before it swells out
(2).
~ Cut off the end with the stalk (3).
~ Stand the straight half on a cut end and using the small sharp knife cut off
strips of peel in a downward direction or use a potato peeler.
~ Do the same with the rounded piece..
~ Cut the rounded piece in half (4) and using a sharp
edged teaspoon remove the seeds and membrane
in the middle.
And here is a “hack” of my very own ...
With large round solid things like butternut squash, instead of moving the knife
back and forth to cut it I wedge the blade where I want to make the cut then hold
it still and move the squash back and forth. I find this much safer and easier.

9. 5. Shred chicken breasts using the K-beater
and your mixer
3 Questions …
~ Isn’t this a bit strange and a lot of
faff for nothing?
~ How about 2 forks or even a sharp
knife (again)?
~ WTF?

10. 6. Use an egg slicer to slice garlic, mushrooms
or strawberries
There was me thinking it was daft using an egg slicer to slice eggs!
Daft, daft, daft.
Yet again a sharp knife, only a smaller one this time, is the answer
and so much easier!

11. 7. Chop Herbs with a Pizza Cutter
Instead of a Knife!
The article went on to say “even
better cut everything with a
pizza cutter” which is seriously
misguided.
Chop herbs with a long sharp
knife and a rocking motion,
sprinkle the board with a little
salt before you start to stop the
herbs sliding around too much.

12. 8. Quickly Sear Meat in the Broiler Rather Than
on the Stove
No, don’t do that because doing
it in the pan (which should NOT
be non-stick) leaves a delicious
meaty residue ...
... which can then be
quickly made into a
sauce.
Here’s how …

13. ~ Once your meat is browned set it aside in a warm place (here’s
yet another “hack” – pan fried or roasted meat is so, so, so much
juicer and more tender if you let it rest in a warm place for say 5-
10 minutes for a steak or up to 30 minutes for a joint before
serving).
~ Add a little liquid (water, wine or stock) to the pan.
~ Bring it to a boil scraping up the cooked-on meat juices and
letting them dissolve in the liquid.
~ If it is a bit runny simmer till reduced
a little then add a knob of butter or a splash
of cream et voila a delicious sauce.
~ Season to taste, of course.

14. 9. For Richer Scrambled Eggs, Use Sour Cream
Instead of Milk
This one is not quite so silly as the other “hacks” but I have never
ever whisked milk or cream into eggs for scrambling.
There is no need or even any point;
for richer scrambled eggs this is
the thing to do ...

15. ~ Melt a knob of butter (not margarine or anything else) in a small
non-stick pan (easier for washing up “hack”).
~ When partly melted break 2 or 3 eggs into the butter and
immediately stir all together, season and continue stirring over low
heat.
~ As it cooks fold the solidifying egg into the uncooked and continue
till you have a pan of soft perfectly scrambled eggs and then
immediately do this neat trick (or “hack”) from Julia Child ...
~ Whisk in a knob of cold butter. This will stop the eggs cooking any
further, retain them at optimal creaminess and make them more
delicious than ever. You could use cream or sour cream at this stage
instead of butter or even milk if you don’t want them to be too
delicious!

16. 10. Cook vegetables (and other things) in the
dishwasher together with a load of dishes.
I was surprised to read this.
It is suggested that the vegetables are seasoned and then sealed in
a jar with a tight screw on lid so that the soapy water can’t get in,
it should be placed upright in the dishwasher.
I don’t have a dishwasher but research has shown that they take
between 30 minutes and two hours per cycle, 80 minutes being
optimum. Also that you should probably not open the
dishwasher mid-cycle. How well cooked do you like your veggies?
How to cook vegetables…

17. ~ Bring to the boil.
~ Turn down the heat, put on the
lid and simmer for …
3-5 minutes for green vegetables,
cauliflower and carrots, and
25 minutes or so for potatoes
NOT 80 for anything!
~ Drain immediately.
~ Cut the vegetables into similarly sized slices or florets or
whatever shape is appropriate.
~ Put them in a small pan
~ Pour over boiling water to cover and add a little salt.

18. The next one isn’t actually daft, it is absolutely the right thing to do!
I saw this in a list of …
“17 F*cking Brilliant Food Hacks That Will Save You A
Lot Of Money”
However I think it is more a case of …
F*cking Blatantly Obvious
… than brilliant!
Wanna know what this stunning idea is? Read on …

19. 11. Grate your own cheese!!!
Ta Da!

20. Articles on these “hacks” often say …
“This changes EVERYTHING”
… or something similar and often I agree!
You could, for instance, hurt your eyes with out-of-control lemon
juice, stab yourself whilst bashing a knife with a mallet or cut
your finger off sliding a knife between two plastic lids separated
by rolly-about tomatoes!
Here’s a better idea …

21. My Own Tips, "Hacks" & Techniques ...
I have written a book
containing just what it says
on the cover which will be of
far more use than all the
foregoing hacks puts
together.
It looks like this … … and your can
read more about
it here.