Sunday School Lesson

1. 2 Samuel 18-19
David’s Family at War – Part 3
“Forgiveness”
July 29, 2018
First Baptist Church
Jackson, Mississippi
USA

2. What’s the number one thing?
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3. The Glory of God!
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4. 1 Corinthians 10:31 NKJV
31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you
do, do all to the glory of God.
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5. July Memory Verse
Psalm 73:25-26 NIV
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

6. Pray for the Pastor Search Committee
• Doug Gunn, Chairman (PastorSearchCommittee@FBCJ.org)
• Lenora Bigler
• Dottie Hudson
• David Maron
• Jim Merritt, Jr.
• Elizabeth Rich
• Mallory Rosamond
• Don Waller
• Jeff Zachary

7. References
•Kendall, R. T., Total Forgiveness (Lake Mary, FL, 2004).
•Barker, Kenneth, The NIV Study Bible, (Grand Rapids,
Zondervan, 1985).
•Walton, John H., and Keener, Craig S., NKJV New
Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible (Grand Rapids,
Zondervan, 2017).

8. The Prophecy for Consequence of David’s Sins
•God’s punishment for the death of Uriah and adultery
with Bathsheba.
•2 Samuel 12:10 NIV
10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from
your house, because you despised me and took the
wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’

9. Introduction to 2 Samuel 18-19
•Absalom, David’s son, has tried to overthrow his
father as King.
•Absalom has captured Jerusalem and declared himself
king of Israel.
•David fled Jerusalem and is exiled in Mahanaim with
his army.

10. Description of Absalom
2 Samuel 14:25-26 NIV
25 In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for
his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of
his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in
him. 26 Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used
to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy
for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two
hundred shekels by the royal standard (5 pounds).

12. 2 Samuel 18:1-2 NIV
1 David mustered the men who were with him and
appointed over them commanders of thousands and
commanders of hundreds. 2 David sent out his troops, a
third under the command of Joab, a third under Joab’s
brother Abishai son of Zeruiah, and a third under Ittai
the Gittite. The king told the troops, “I myself will
surely march out with you.”

13. 2 Samuel 18:3 NIV
3 But the men said, “You must not go out; if we are
forced to flee, they won’t care about us. Even if half of
us die, they won’t care; but you are worth ten
thousand of us. It would be better now for you to give
us support from the city.”

14. 2 Samuel 18:4-5 NIV
4 The king answered, “I will do whatever seems best to you.”
So the king stood beside the gate while all his men marched
out in units of hundreds and of thousands. 5 The king
commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the
young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard
the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the
commanders.
• David probably viewed his son as a youthful rebel who
could be forgiven.
• The soldiers viewed him as the enemy.

15. 2 Samuel 18:6-8 NIV
6 David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel,
and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim.
7 There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and
the casualties that day were great—twenty thousand
men. 8 The battle spread out over the whole
countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men
that day than the sword.

16. Forest of Ephraim

17. 2 Samuel 18:9 NIV
9 Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was
riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick
branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in
the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule
he was riding kept on going.

18. 2 Samuel 18:10-11 NIV
10 When one of the men saw what had happened, he
told Joab, “I just saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree.”
11 Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What!
You saw him? Why didn’t you strike him to the ground
right there? Then I would have had to give you ten
shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.”

19. 2 Samuel 18:12-13 NIV
12 But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels
were weighed out into my hands, I would not lay a
hand on the king’s son. In our hearing the king
commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the
young man Absalom for my sake.’ 13 And if I had put my
life in jeopardy—and nothing is hidden from the king—
you would have kept your distance from me.”

20. 2 Samuel 18:14-15 NIV
14 Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So
he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them
into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the
oak tree. 15 And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded
Absalom, struck him and killed him.

21. 2 Samuel 18:16-17 NIV
16 Then Joab sounded the trumpet, and the troops
stopped pursuing Israel, for Joab halted them. 17 They
took Absalom, threw him into a big pit in the forest and
piled up a large heap of rocks over him. Meanwhile, all
the Israelites fled to their homes.

22. 2 Samuel 18:18 NIV
18 During his lifetime Absalom had taken a pillar and
erected it in the King’s Valley as a monument to
himself, for he thought, “I have no son to carry on the
memory of my name.” He named the pillar after
himself, and it is called Absalom’s Monument to this
day.

23. Absalom’s Monument (Pillar) in Kidron Valley
• Skip to v. 31 when David is informed about Absalom.

24. 2 Samuel 18:31-32 NIV
31 Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear
the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by
delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against
you.”
32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom
safe?”
The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king
and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.”

25. 2 Samuel 18:33 NIV
33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over
the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son
Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died
instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
•David repeats “my son” 5 times in this verse.

26. 2 Samuel 19:1-4 NIV
1 Joab was told, “The king is weeping and mourning for
Absalom.” 2 And for the whole army the victory that day was
turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard
it said, “The king is grieving for his son.” 3 The men stole into
the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when
they flee from battle. 4 The king covered his face and cried
aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”
• David’s troops take his response as a defeat instead of a
victory even though Absalom has just been killed.

27. 2 Samuel 19:5-6 NIV
5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said,
“Today you have humiliated all your men, who have
just saved your life and the lives of your sons and
daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines.
6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love
you. You have made it clear today that the commanders
and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you
would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of
us were dead.

28. 2 Samuel 19:7-8 NIV
7 Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord
that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by
nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities
that have come on you from your youth till now.”
8 So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When
the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they
all came before him.
Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes.

29. Summary of 2 Samuel 19:9-15
•David asks the rulers of his tribe Judah to take the
initiative in restoring his rule as king.
•David replaces Joab with Amasa as commander of the
army to attempt uniting both armies.
•Word was sent to David, “Return, you and all of your
men.”

30. Summary of 2 Samuel 19:16-30
•As David returns Shimei (Saul’s relative) greets him at
the Jordan and asks for forgiveness for cursing and
throwing rocks as David fled Jerusalem.
•Mephibosheth (Saul’s grandson) comes to meet David
and is asked why he chose to stay with Absalom.
•Mephibosheth realizes that Ziba, his caregiver,
betrayed him about loyalty to Absalom.

31. Conclusion of 2 Samuel 18-19
•David returns to Jerusalem but has to re-establish the
army and his authority.
•Shimei is forgiven by David for cursing and also
throwing rocks at him.
•Mephibosheth is restored to his position at David’s
table and Saul’s lands returned to him and Ziba.

32. Some Emotions of David at this Time
•Mourning – Rebellious son killed by his own army.
•Failure – Rebellion of son; dysfunctional family and his
own lack of self-control.
•Insult/Anger – Rebellion and treason of others.
•Security – Peace that God was with him, regardless.
•Forgiveness – Forgiving himself and others for wrongs
and trying to start over.

33. Let’s look at forgiveness
•What is forgiveness?
•The act of releasing someone from a debt or
obligation.
•Giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me.
•To let go.

35. Outline of Lesson on Forgiveness –
R. T. Kendall in “Total Forgiveness”
1. What forgiveness is NOT.
2. What forgiveness IS.
3. Future Lesson – How to know we have totally
forgiven.

36. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
1. Forgiveness is NOT approval of what they did.
- God did not approve of Adam and Eve’s sin but He
still made garments of skin for them.
- John 8:11 - Jesus did not approve of the woman
found in adultery, but declared, “Go now and
leave your life of sin.”
- When we forgive others, it does not imply an
endorsement of their evil deeds.

37. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
2. Forgiveness is NOT excusing what they did.
- We do not cover for the sins of other people.
- Forgiving someone does not excuse inappropriate
behavior.

38. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
3. Forgiveness is NOT justifying what they did.
- To justify means “to make right or just.”
- God will never call anything that is evil as right,
and He does not require us to do so.
- We should never attempt to make what is wrong
look like it is right.

39. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
4. Forgiveness is NOT pardoning what they did.
- A pardon is a legal transaction that releases the
offender from the consequences of their action.
- The criminal should pay his debt to society.
- Only God can pardon sin.

40. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
5. Forgiveness is NOT reconciliation.
- Forgiveness can occur without restoration of a
relationship.
- Reconciliation requires the participation of two
people.
- Full reconciliation cannot occur without
forgiveness.

41. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
6. Forgiveness is NOT denying what they did.
- Denying that an offense took place (repression)
can be an unconscious act.
- Sometimes the pain is so great that we cannot
deal with it on a conscious level.
- Total forgiveness can only be offered when we
come to terms with reality – “This person actually
did this to me!”

42. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
7. Forgiveness is NOT blindness to what happened.
- Blindness is a conscious choice to pretend that a
sin never took place.
- Some believe that forgiveness is turning a “blind
eye” to what happened.
- Forgiveness is not pretending that something did
not happen.

43. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
8. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting.
- Can we really forgive and just forget?
- No.
- In forgiveness, forgetting means that we choose
not to dwell on the memory.
- This takes time to choose not to remember.
- Forgiveness is usually repetitive – the same
person and often the same offense.

44. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
9. Forgiveness is NOT refusing to take the wrong
seriously.
- God takes all sins seriously.
- We should take all sins seriously and not laugh it
off.
- God will forgive every sin (big and small), and so
should we.

45. Forgiveness – What it is Not!!
10. Forgiveness is NOT pretending that we are not hurt.
- We do not have to be non-emotional about the
wrong.
- Forgiveness is not denying our pain or hurt.

46. What Forgiveness Is.
1. Forgiveness is being aware of what someone has
done and still forgiving them.
2. Forgiveness is choosing to keep no record of wrong.
‐ Psalm 130:3-4 NIV
3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

47. What Forgiveness Is.
3. Forgiveness is refusing to punish.
‐ 1 John 4:18
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives
out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
‐ You give up the natural desire for the person to be
punished for what they did to you.

48. What Forgiveness Is.
4. Forgiveness is not telling others.
- The temptation for us is to gossip to others and
discredit the person.
- Exception for our counselors and law
enforcement.
- Proverbs 22:1 NIV
1 A good name is more desirable than great riches;
to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

49. What Forgiveness Is.
5. Forgiveness is being merciful.
‐ Mercy is “compassion in action.”
‐ Matthew 5:7 NIV
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

50. What Forgiveness Is.
6. Forgiveness is graciousness.
- Graciousness is not having a “legalistic spirit.”
- Self-righteous people find it impossible to be
gracious; they claim always to be after “the truth”,
no matter the cost.

51. What Forgiveness Is
7. Forgiveness is an inner condition.
- You can forgive someone with nothing in your
circumstances or surroundings changing.
- Most people we must forgive do not believe that
they have done anything wrong or know they
offended us.
- Forgiveness is about me, not the offender.

52. What Forgiveness Is.
8. Forgiveness is the absence of bitterness.
- Bitterness is the excessive desire for vengeance that
comes from deep resentment.
- Bitterness heads the list of things that grieves the Holy
Spirit.
- Ephesians 4:30-31 NIV
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom
you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid
of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice.

53. What Forgiveness Is.
9. Forgiveness is forgiving God.
- We believe that God is omnipotent, omnipresent and
omniscient and could have prevented what happened.
- This is a true statement!
- We must trust God.
- Romans 8:28 NIV
28 And we know that in all things God works for the
good of those who love him, who have been called
according to his purpose.

54. What Forgiveness Is.
10. Forgiveness is forgiving yourself.
‐ 1 John 1:9 NIV
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and
will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness.
- Satan wants us to feel guilt even when God has
forgiven our sin.
- Don’t rob yourself of the joy of God’s forgiveness.

57. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
John 3:16 NKJV
16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten
Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have
everlasting life.”
John 14:6 NKJV
6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No
one comes to the Father except through Me.”

58. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
Romans 3:23 NKJV
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Romans 6:23a NKJV
23a For the wages of sin is death,
• Death in this life (the first death) is 100%.
• Even Jesus, the only one who doesn’t deserve death, died in this life
to pay the penalty for our sin.
• The death referred to in Romans 6:23a is the “second death”
explained in Revelation 21:8.

59. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
Revelation 21:8 NKJV
8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers,
sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have
their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone,
which is the second death.”
Romans 5:8 NKJV
8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

60. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
Romans 6:23b NKJV
23b but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Revelation 21:7 NKJV
7 “He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his
God and he shall be My son.”
• Romans 10:9-10 explains to us how to be overcomers.

61. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
Romans 10:9-10 NKJV
9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and
believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead,
you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto
righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto
salvation.
Romans 10:13 NKJV
13 For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”

62. The Plan of Hope & Salvation:
Have questions or would like to know more?
Please, contact First Baptist Church Jackson at 601-949-1900
or http://firstbaptistjackson.org/contact/