Assignment 3WORKPLACE INSTRUCTIONSDEADLINE September 16@ Noon.docx

Assignment 3
WORKPLACE INSTRUCTIONS
DEADLINE: September 16@ Noon
This module contains the following parts:Assignment
description;Tips for completing Assignment 3;
Two weak and two strong examples produced by students in
other classes;
The rubric used to evaluate your work.
Please review all of these materials before you begin working
on Assignment 1. Please email me with your questions if you
do not understand something…Professor Stankowski
ASSIGNMENT THREE: Workplace instructions
RATIONALE:
Understanding how to work well with others in workplace
settings is a key element of professional success. The ability
to communicate effectively with co-workers through written
documents is an especially important component of Technical
Writing.
THE ASSIGNMENT:
Carefully read Chapter Four “Weighing the Ethical Issues,” and
Chapter Five “Teamwork and Global Considerations” and
Chapter 19 “Instructions and Procedures.”
After you have finished reading, complete the following
assignment: Assume that a new employee is taking over your
job. Identify a specific problem in the job that could cause
difficulty for the new employee. Write a set of instructions for

the employee for dealing with the problem. Complete this
assignment using memo format.
You must complete this assignment using 250 to 275 words. Be
sure to include the word count at the end of your assignment.
DEADLINE: September 16
* * *
Tips for completing Assignment 2
Now that most of you have completed and submitted your
responses to Assignment 1, I wanted to give you some tips and
advice for Assignment 2 and beyond.
Please be sure to read what the text has to say about using
and/or not using the passive voice. If you’re working from a
different edition, simply consult the index in the back of the
book for the correct page numbers.
Be certain to read the comments I wrote on your first
assignment. I’ll be holding you accountable for correcting the
flaws I’ve indicated. Let me know if you can’t open or can’t
read my comments.
Be sure to study the two bad examples and the two good
examplesthat appear later in this document. They will give you
some ideas of what to avoid!
Remember: say it clearly; say it simply. One of the ways to
accomplish this is by limiting your sentences to no more than 25
words. Yes, that means that you have to count the words in
your sentences—or make the computer do it for you.
Be specific when specificity is required.

Proofread. One way to proofread is to read your material aloud
to yourself. Usually, this will expose the most serious flaws.
Maybe you could ask a friend to read your work. This is a 200-
level course. I have the reasonable expectation that you know
how to form plurals, possessives, possessive plurals, etc. This
leads to my next point…
Get help! Some of you might want to take a draft of your work
to the Writer’s Center to gain their expert feedback and
assistance. You have some time before the next deadline. Get
started now so that you can take advantage of resources that
might be able to help you achieve a better grade.
I don’t accept late papers. So, if you miss the deadline you get
an F. There are no exceptions. Please don’t ask. Also, as
stated in the syllabus, this course does not offer opportunities
for revision.
For Assignment 2, try to pick some aspect of your job that you
know well and feel confident you can explain to others. This
assignment also should be submitted in memo format; include a
word count at document’s end. The elements of the memo
format do not count toward the document’s word count.
Here are some other requirements for Assignment 2:
Clearly identify the task(s) to be performed in the memo’s first
sentence.
Avoid using workplace jargon -- especially if you are a health
care professional!!!
Employ a format that organizes the memo in a logical way.
Your format should assist the user in understanding the memo
and completing the task. Bullets and subheadings, for example,

are great organizational devices. Keep your paragraphs small.
Readers resist large, unbroken blocks of text.
Ask yourself this question: Based upon the quality of the
memo, would a person unfamiliar with the task be able to
complete it? I’ll be asking myself this question when I grade
your work.
Assume that the audience for the memo has NO previous
understanding or experience with the task at hand.
Finally, email me should you have questions. Good
luck…Professor Stankowski
ASSIGNMENT 2
GOOD EXAMPLE I
Pittsburgh Bureau of Police
MEMORANDUM
To: Police Recruit Officer
From: Field Training Officer
Date: February 5, 2016
Subject: Instructions For Logging Into The In-Car Camera
System
Officers SE Stankowski, Edward This is a good, clear and
specific sentence. It gets this memo off to a fast start!
must complete the five steps provided to log into the in-car
camera system. Logging into the system is mandatory for all
officers. As per rules and regulations, all officers must log into

the system at the beginning of their shift. Failure to log in will
result in disciplinary action (i.e. write ups, suspension, etc.).
SE Stankowski, Edward Just a tip to keep in mind: looking for
shortcuts, readers tend to ignore material in parenthesis.
Therefore, never place important info in parenthesis!
Logging into the camera system allows videos, generated by an
officer, to be synced to their online folder. This organizes
videos, making them easy to locate for court hearings. The
camera must be used SE Stankowski, Edward This is passive
voice. to record all traffic stops, searches (i.e. persons,
vehicles), field sobriety tests, and emergency driving. With the
use of cameras, complaints against officers have decreased by
75%.
How SE Stankowski, Edward The following text is well
formatted and highly user friendly. to log in:
Step 1: Insert city issued thumb drive into USB slot located on
the side of the camera.
Step 2: Press button marked “trace” located on the camera. A
prompt screen will appear with options: “ok” or “cancel”.
Step 3: Press the right arrow key to highlight the “ok” option.
Step 4: Press the “record” button. You will now see your name
located in the upper right corner of the camera screen,
indicating that you are now logged in.
Step 5: Turn emergency lights on to test camera is working
properly. A red circle will indicate that it is recording. Hit
“stop” when finished testing.
After logging in it is important to make sure the camera is
working properly. If it is not, document the issue on your call
sheet. Then, notify a supervisor immediately. If you lose,
damage, or forget your thumb drive notify a supervisor
immediately. Remember to log in prior to every shift.
Word count: 275

ASSIGNMENT 2
GOOD EXAMPLE II
MEMORANDUM
To: MRI Staff Member
From:
Date: 2-3-2016
Subject: Customer Service: Speaking to the Patient
The SE Stankowski, Edward This is a good, clear and specific
sentence. It gets this memo off to a fast start!
most difficult task of a new MRI staff member, known as a
Magnetic Resonance Imaging Technologist, is speaking
appropriately toward your patients. Unfortunately the MRI
Technologist is not taught SE Stankowski, Edward SE
Stankowski, Edward SE Stankowski, Edward This is passive
voice. how to speak directly to a patient. Patients are in pain,
scared and confused when they come to a hospital for testing.
In these types of situations you need to remain calm, be able to
comfort the patient, and maintain professionalism to provide top
quality care.
Patients want to know how long their test will take and what
will happen during those tests. You should explain to the
patients that Magnetic Resonance Imaging is a test that uses a
magnetic field and pulses of radio wave energy. With this
method, MRI makes pictures of the organs and structures inside
the body. First impressions count. A very helpful method to
use when speaking to the patient is to follow the steps
Acknowledge, Introduce, Duration, Explain, and Thank. Here
are some helpful tips for speaking to a patient SE Stankowski,
Edward This paragraph is very well done. The writing is clear,
to the point and compassionate. The paragraph has high
instructional value.

One point, though: readers resist large blocks of text, and this
paragraph is somewhat lengthy. Here’s a tip: If it makes sense
to do so, break paragraphs after every 5-6 lines. :
Acknowledge SE Stankowski, Edward This section is very well
done. Again, the writing is very clear and has high
instructional value.
The format also makes it good. I especially like the way each
step emphasizes key words. You could make these words even
more emphatic by adding bold to the italics. the patient. Smile
and say hello to the patient, greeting them by name.
Introduce yourself to the patient.
Inform the patient of the Duration before their exam starts.
Inform the patient of the length of time for their exam.
Explain the exam to the patient.
Thank the patient for visiting today. Offer them assistance
exiting the building or moving on to their next appointment.
With this helpful tip, the patient will be left with a positive and
lasting impression of their experience.
Word Count 254
ASSIGNMENT 2
BAD EXAMPLE I
To:
From:
Date: September 21, 2010
Subject: Problems Regarding The Warehouse
As a new employee, some problems will have to be faced s

stankoe1 This is an unnecessarily complex sentence. Part of
its complexity resides in the passive voice clause: It is
expected that… Who or what is expected. Remember: Say it
simply; say it clearly.
A revision of this sentence could read: New employees will
face some problems.
The revision is clear and gets right to the point.
For a detailed explanation of the difference between active and
passive voice, please see the text. Please ask me should you
have questions.
. One important aspect of the job is accessing the supply
warehouse, and sometimes that can become a scary feat s
stankoe1 Wasted words—just say scary. . For instance, most
shifts are spent overnight, and the warehouse will need accessed
s stankoe1 Two passive clauses here: “are spent” (who does
the spending?) and “will need accessed” (who does the
accessing?) Passive voice hides the subject in this sentence.
And the result is writing not as clear as it should and must be.
more than once a night. Many issues have been had s stankoe1
The passive voice is especially awkward here.
with reopening the doors to the warehouse, and some
employees have gotten stuck for some amount of time there.
Safety should come first, but this issue has yet to be solved.
When you have to use the warehouse, have a cell phone on hand
with the security number saved in it. It is also a good idea to
knowingly close the doors with less force. s stankoe1 It’s in
this section where you actually provide useful instruction. To
enhance the text’s usefulness, consider how the imposition of
some organizational device can help.
For example, applying bullets or numbers improves the utility
and organizational value of a document. Keep that in mind
when completing future assignments—especially the next one.
This way you can have the advantage before possibly getting

stuck! Hopefully this is a useful bit of knowledge for your new
job position. s stankoe1 This sentence doesn’t really add much
value to your document.
word count: 159
ASSIGNMENT 2
BAD EXAMPLE II
THE ELLWOOD CITY HOSPITAL
MEMORANDUM
To: Admissions Supervisor
From: Erica, Admissions Clerk
Date: September 22, 2010
Subject: Area of Difficulty in the Admissions Department
The admissions department is the front line of the hospital.
Within this department, employees must handle public relations,
customer service and satisfaction, and be knowledgeable of

insurances. All of these responsibilities are overwhelming for a
new employee. A patient’s wants and needs are of the utmost
importance for the few moments he/she is sitting at your desk.
This time with the patient is crucial, because in these minutes,
the patient forms an opinion of the entire facility and the people
working within it. s stankoe1 Erica: This paragraph is quite
well written. It’s logical, coherent and very easy to read and
comprehend. But here’s the issue: this intro graph really takes
up a lot of space in your document—83 words, in fact. That’s
valuable space consumed by text that could and should be
reduced so that you can get to the heart of the assignment—
providing instruction.
In the event that a situation develops, an employee should stay
focused and consider the resources available. Those resources
include notes taken during the employees training, any
handbooks located in the department, and information provided
by other colleagues including the department supervisor. Most
importantly, the guidance of colleagues is invaluable because of
their experience in handling an array of patient visits. s
stankoe1 This instructional section also is well written;
however, it seems a little short on instructions and specific
detail. If you analyze the absence of specific instructions,
perhaps you’ll agree that you’re really not helping the user of
this document all that much. In that way, you kind of missed
the heart of the assignment.
Also, think of how this document might be improved were it
formatted differently. For example, imposing bullets or a
numbered list would improve the organization and utility. With
improved format, this would read more like a set of instructions
and less like a letter.
Organizational devices eliminate the need for words such first,
second, third, etc.—as well as words like then, next and later,
buying the writer valuable space within a document.

Each patient encounter is unique and provides the opportunity
for the admissions clerk to efficiently represent the hospital.
Diffusing a difficult situation will instill confidence in the
employee. s stankoe1 Once again, good writing but not
especially instructional.
Respectfully,
Admissions Clerk
Word Count: 172
ASSIGNMENT 2: WORKPLACE INSTRUCTIONS
PART I: Meeting assignment requirements
NO:
ZERO POINTS
YES:
SEVEN POINTS
Does the memo use precisely 250--275 words in its body?
[NOTE: Only the text in the memo’s body applies to the word

count.]
Does the memo include the word count?
Does the assignment use correct memo formatting?
PART I
POINTS TOTAL
/21
PART II: Elements of effective instruction

NO:
ZERO POINTS
YES:
SEVEN POINTS
Does the author clearly identify the task(s) to be performed in
the memo’s first sentence?
Does the author avoid using workplace jargon?
Does the author correctly assume that the audience for the
memo has NO previous understanding or experience with the
task at hand?

PART II
POINTS TOTAL
/21
PART III: Elements of effective writing
NO:
ZERO POINTS
SOMETIMES:
FOUR POINTS
YES:
SEVEN POINTS
Does the author remember to say it simply and say it clearly?
Does the author avoid using the passive voice?

Does the author limit sentences to no more than 25 words?
Does the memo avoid sentence errors such as fragments, comma
splices and run-on sentences?
Does the memo avoid punctuation errors?
Does the memo avoid mechanical errors such as misspelled
words?

PART III
POINTS TOTAL
/42
PART IV: Elements of a useful format
NO:
ZERO POINTS
SOMETIMES:
FOUR POINTS
YES:
SEVEN POINTS
Does the memo employ organizational devices such as bullets
and subheadings?

Does the memo contain small reader-friendly paragraphs?
PART IV
POINTS TOTAL
/14
PART V: The critical question
NO:
ZERO POINTS
TO A LIMITED EXTENT:
FIVE POINTS
YES:
TEN POINTS

Would a person unfamiliar with the task be able to complete it?
PART V
POINTS TOTAL
/10
POINT TOTAL: = 108
YOUR TOTAL: = /108
GRADE:
%
On the passive voice…
W
riting in the passive voice: It’s one of the most common
mistakes student writers make. Passive voice is awkward.
Passive voice hides the sentence’s subject. Passive voice takes
more words to makes its point than its superior counterpart,
active voice.
To understand the difference between active and passive voice,
let’s review some elementary school grammar basics:

Subjects in sentences determine who or what is doing
something. Check out the example:
Roberto Clemente threw the ball.
Roberto Clemente is the subject. For example, you could ask,
“Who or what is this sentence about?” And the answer would
be Roberto Clemente. Any time you want to determine the
subject of a sentence, you can ask, “Who or what is this
sentence about?” The answer will reveal the sentence’s subject.
This is a most useful answer, and we’ll come back to it later.
Verbs are the muscle of sentences. Verbs show action. In the
example above, the verb describes the action of throwing.
Direct objects receive a verb’s action. Let’s go back to the
example. What receives this verb’s action? Answer: the ball.
We can sometimes think of writing in the same ways we think
of math. For example, one can view sentences as formulas.
The formula for an active voice sentence goes like this:
Subject + Verb + Direct Object
You should memorize this formula. Doing so can help you in
other writing classes
and, perhaps, in your career.
Now, some student writers prefer writing in the passive voice.
Maybe because by doing so they think that their writing sounds
more formal. So, let’s see what happens when we take our
example active voice sentence above and convert it to the
passive voice:
The ball was thrown by Roberto Clemente.
Sure sounds formal, doesn’t it? But the conversion to passive

voice has flip-flopped our formula above. “Who or what is this
sentence about?” The answer is, of course, Clemente. But see
how the direct object has become the subject? Notice also that
we’ve increased this sentence by 33 percent to express the exact
same concept!?! If you can say something in just four words,
why use six!?!
Most writing applications stress using fewer words. How many
characters, for example, does Twitter allow? Something like
140, right. Would you want to read 20 pages in a text book’s
chapter – or just 10? (I think I know the answer to that one!)
Does your boss want a three-page report when just two will do?
There are no jobs that I know of where someone will pay you to
take more time and space to express a concept. If you’re a
criminal justice major, you’re going to have write reports. Lots
of them! You’ll advance in your career if you write well. Say
you’re an IT major. You’re likely going to have write reports.
Lots of them! You’ll advance in your career if you write well.
Let’s say you are majoring in a health-care field. Guess what?
You’ll have to write reports, too. And you, too, will advance in
your career if you write well. You’ll find that your boss
probably is a lot like you: he won’t want to read three pages
when two pages get the job done.
In this class and in your current and future profession, you’re
not writing poetry and you’re not writing about Shakespeare.
Your writing will have work to do – serious work. And in all
cases the following is true: Less is more. Do you remember the
practice assignment? Do you remember how eliminating wasted
words makes writing stronger? That’s one of the key principles
of this class. And understanding the differences between active
and passive will help you to eliminate wasted words. In fact, if
you have neglected to compare your practice assignment to the
one I completed, take some time and do so now.

[A NOTE THAT I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T SHARE: In other
classes, certainly not in this one, you can use passive voice to
your advantage. When you have written four pages of a five-
page paper, convert all of your sentences to passive voice. It
beats using Courier font and expanding a page’s margins. We
teachers notice those things – probably because we did them
ourselves!]
Finally, remember this: All writing, regardless of a person’s
job or a student’s major, requires clarity. If you force someone
to read something more than once, you’re doing a poor job. If I
read one of your sentences three times and still don’t
understand it, the fault is yours – not mine. Say it clearly; say
it simply. Understanding the difference between active and
passive voice will help you to accomplish this goal.
If you would like to learn more about the difference between
active and passive voice, check out pages 205-208 in the text’s
14th edition.
Just one more thing: I’ll be looking at your workplace
instructions memo to see if you’ve read and understood this
writing lesson!

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