from the Nilsens

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URBAN LEGENDS
by Don L. F. Nilsen
and Alleen Pace Nilsen

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Urban Legends, like Hip Hop and Rap Exhibit many
features of Literature:
They are dramatic, and play on such emotions as fear or embarrassment.
They are filled with such rhetorical devices as Hyperbole (overstatement),
Antithesis, Symbolism, Irony, and especially Poetic Justice.
They appear credible, because they are grounded in reality, and because
they explain mysterious phenomena.
They are also based on stereotypes and archetypes we see around us every
day.
They get our attention, because they are gross and sexual and
scatalogogical and Titillating.
And they are documented, because they always happened to a Friend of a
Friend. They are therefore called FOAF tales.

3. The FOAF Phenomenon:
They happened to a friend of a friend.
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YOU PROVIDE THE ENDINGS
A man goes to a hotel with a beautiful,
sexy woman he met at a party. They
make mad, passionate love, after which
he falls asleep. When he wakes in the
morning, the woman is gone, but written
in lipstick on the mirror is this message:
“Welcome to the world of AIDS.”

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The driver of a cement truck goes past his
house at lunch time and sees a brand new car in
the driveway. He is suspicious that his wife has
a male visitor, so he sneaks up to the house and
hears a man’s voice. In anger, he…
backs his truck up to the new car and dumps in
his lad of cement.
Later he learns that his wife has just purchased
the new car for his birthday.

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On a cold and rainy night, a man sees a young woman
standing at a bus stop with no coat and no umbrella.
He stops and offers her a ride home, which she
gratefully accepts.
Because the two are so compatible and she lives right
on his way, he aranges to pick her up on a regular
basis. But after a few evenings she isn’t there. He
goes to the house where he has been dropping her off
and learns that…
20 years ago she had been killed by a speeding car at
that very bus stop.

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A vacationing husband takes off all his
clothes and is relaxing in the back of the
camper while his wife takes a turn
driving.
When she stops suddenly, he jumps out
to see what the trouble is. It is just a dog
crossing the road, so the wife…
speeds off not realizing that she has left
her naked husband behind.

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Tell us each of these urban legends:
The Alligators in the Sewers
The Baby on the Roof
The Fifty-Dollar Thunderbird
The Dog in the Oven
The Second Blue Book
The Baby and the Turkey

9. Explain the Humor:
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The Death of Little Mikey
The Elephant That Sat on a VW
The Finger in the Dog’s Throat
The Mickey Mouse Acid
The Hairy-Armed Hitchhiker

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The Manhattan White
The Phantom Hitchhiker
The Purse in the Changing Room
The Maniac’s Hook
The Stuck Couple

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RUMORS:
When Willie Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, he
replied: “Because that’s where the money is”
Mary Baker Eddy was buried with a telephone so she
could talk to the other side
John Dillinger’s member is at the Smithsonian Institution
Humphrey Bogart posed for Gerber baby picture
Tobacco Companies own large marijuana plantations in
South America

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There are ground worms in McDonald’s hamburgers
Pop Rocks have exploded inside children’s stomachs
Cigarette filters are made of ground glass
Some Girl Scout cookies are laced with hashish
Procter and Gambel advertisers are Devil worshipers

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and that Some Kentucky Fried Chicken is
actually People’s Fingers
and that one of the ingredients of Coca Cola is
cocaine.

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TRUTH
But the one about the Kentucky Fried Finger
actually happened, but it was at Wendy’s and it
was a customer’s finger.
and it’s also true that one of the ingredients of
Coca Cola used to be cocaine.

16. 16
Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus

17. Three Blind Mice
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18. JACKALOPE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrbKXdfs-V8
TOP 25 URBAN LEGENDS:
http://list25.com/25-most-popular-urban-legends-still-being-told/
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