1. "AHAVA" CHILDREN & YOUTH VILLAGE Newsletter 9
The Association for the Advancement of Children and Youth at Risk POB 4, Kiryat Bialik. Israel www.villageahava.org January 2011
Hello All,
This newsletter traverses worlds, both emotional and physical. From a meeting in a therapy room at the village through the eyes of Judith, the biblio-
therapist; through the participation of our resident psychologist at a convention in South Africa, where the village was presented alongside the movie
that he created; and up till the upcoming trip of Orit, a village graduate and resident of the 18+ project, to represent the village at fundraising functions
held by Bnai Zion in Baltimore and Miami, USA.
Here, in K. Bialik the therapeutic and educational work is going ahead at full speed, at school, in after- school activities, at educational projects, in the
therapy rooms and even on the pathways. As part of our girls’ project “Eshet Chayil” (Woman of Valor), on the last Thursday of December we held a
girls-only clothing and accessories fair. We allowed the girls to enjoy an afternoon of shopping with loads of items, pre-used and new, all of their own
choice, and paid for with Monopoly money. With the help of the students, “shinshins” and other people, and thanks to the donations of the companies:
“Lucci”, “Tamnoon”, “H&O”, “Cotton” we were able to collect hundreds of quality items which will now enrich the closets of the girls here at the
village. The most exciting experience was the accompaniment of those girls who are regularly in the Vacation Group, those children whose entire
wardrobe is based on the village system. They were invited to make their purchases half an hour before all the others, and they reveled in this
opportunity and in the fitting rooms; they enjoyed each and every item, whether carrying the ticket of a new garment or pre-used, and they filled their
baskets with obvious joy. This is an opportunity to thank once again all those who donated and assisted in the organization of this special and moving
afternoon – from the clothing department-stores that donated with a warm and caring heart; the project staff team and the village staff members who
baked (women’s shopping cannot be complete without coffee and pastries..) and accompanied the girls.
With the blessing of dew and rain, “Tal Umatar”,
Sarah Peleg
And that child is me... A talk with an “Ahava” graduate "To the place in which I delight my feet bring me.”
(Hillel the Elder)
Who am I? Orit Uziel, 20 years old, just recently demobilized from the IDF, and I have
been living in an 18+ apartment for the last two years. I work as a restaurant hostess, By Judith Levison
Bibliotherapist and Jungian Therapist
and I am planning a trip to Thailand in the spring. I intend to go to college next year.
16 years ago, upon completing my bibliotherapy studies, I found
What sort of a kid was I? I arrived at the village at the age of 12 together with three myself standing before a gate with a sign that read: "Ahava"
younger brothers (I have 5). Our home was not a place where I could develop, express Children and Youth Village, and apparently indeed "To the place in
myself and succeed. I was a sociable child, with leadership qualities. I held a lead part which I delight, my feet bring me.” (Hillel the Elder). It would seem
in the dance troupe and participated in the singing ensemble. I was a good girl, but I that my “inner guide” sent me here, knowing the purpose of that.
didn’t like to study much and preferred to connect with the social activities of the Since then, I have been working here and in other establishments
village. Thinking back on it now, I would like to go back. I was a queen, my worries that deal with children and youth that have experienced trauma
were very minor compared to those I have to deal with today – paying the bills, buying and abuse. Happily, I am still here, at a place where a search for a
food etc. framework and a suitable professional home has proven to be “the
A significant experience from the village. The graduation ceremony was very best place” for me. It has taken me time to find out that I too carry
meaningful for me. It was the moment when I realized that the nursery was over, with me childhood traumas, with all that this entails. My work
there is nobody to help me, I am embarking upon life. For months I had been comes from a place of “the injured therapist”. The meeting with
anticipating the moment of graduation when I would leave the confines of the children and adolescents having such harsh life-stories is a meeting
framework, and then suddenly, in the last few days before the ceremony, I started to with a lot of pain, abandonment, depression and helplessness; but
comprehend the meaning of leaving. Together with the anticipation of the move to also with charity, love and hope. This is a common journey. I
18+, I cried a lot. constantly feel the energies that flow in the therapy field in bipolar
directions, between the patients and me, between the wound and
What did I take from the village? To value things. When I left the village I learned to
the healing. When there is transformation in therapy, sometimes
appreciate just how important and significant this place is. It is only when you lose
years later, there is a huge excitement - a feeling of birth, of a
something you understand its loss and significance. Because of this I would go back,
miracle… I feel that the legacy and spirit of Beate Berger are
and I would change such a lot – I would give more of myself, as during certain periods
present at "Ahava": the charity and determination show through.
in my adolescence I did not understand how much I was receiving and how much I was
Within the name of the place there lies her bequest: “A name has
able to give back in return, to other students. I would study properly. I used to make
meaning – the foundation of educating children must be love”. And
fun of the study material, and now I know how important it is to study well and to
indeed, the torn, traumatized soul, hurt at a tender age, can be
properly graduate from high school.
saved and rehabilitated only by a human contact of acceptance,
Something that I am proud of today… The journey to the USA to represent "Ahava" inclusion and love.
and the 18+ project. I am an example of one who has been confronted with many At "Ahava" I have found the large receptacle that has made it
chances to stumble in life, to make the wrong choices and to ruin ones future, and possible for me to build the “safe place” for my patients, starting
"Ahava" has helped me through all of that. My brothers did not make it. I have always with the physical elements (appropriate treatment room, facility to
cook with the children etc..) through the opportunities for
had someone to stand behind me, to talk with me, to support me, to help me
development, guidance and learning in varied professional circles.
distinguish between good and bad. In contrast to my brothers, I have a strong I believe in parallel processes, and know that the children who
backbone with the ability to know good from bad, but I could not have done this came and are coming to "Ahava" are receiving a containing,
alone. Even today, it is clear to me that my residing in the 18+ project is the key factor accepting space, one that teaches and encourages growth
that enables me to continue to develop and grow, and each day at the village I take processes.
yet another meaningful step toward my own future. I close with the words of songwriter Arkadi Duchin: “ I have love/
and it will awaken and touch/ I have love/ and it will prevail…”

2. Last December there was held the FICE (International Federation of
Educational Communities) annual international congress, this time in Cape
Town, South Africa. The central theme was: The Courage to Care in a Diverse
World. The three-day congress dealt with the methods and programs of
treating children around the world, and especially in Africa. One of the
sessions was devoted to a film made by Israel Rosenbaum, our resident Psychologist, and to "Ahava" Children and Youth
Village. At the end of the congress, the patron of the umbrella organization of the congress, Dr. David Materna,
presented Yoav Apelboim, Executive Director of "Ahava", with an original African shirt as a gesture of appreciation of his
presentation at the congress.
Israel Rosenbaum summarizes some of his experiences:
Africa brought us face to face with a sad and harsh picture of millions of orphaned children in Africa, exploited and
abused, but we also met a lot of enthusiasm, intensive work, a spirit of volunteering, naiveté and an abundance of will to
assist, contribute and act for these children.
The congress was very moving, the atmosphere was different from a European or American atmosphere; every morning
all the delegates were received by rhythm ensembles, and the beat of drums which at times gave us a headache, but
nevertheless brought a lot of joy to the congress. There also participated a local choir that sung as only black women can
sing, emanating a sound so moving and touching, without conductor, without sophisticated instruments – just singing
from the heart.
The film that I had made as a final project for my Masters degree in film-making at Tel-Aviv University was screened at
one of the sessions. After Yoav made his presentation speech at the opening of the session I spoke about the meanings
of the film for the therapists, the emotional burden placed upon them and the ways by which they can connect with the
repressed and post-traumatic world of the children. Yoav referred, among other things, to the morning session at which
appeared young adults and children and spoke with the delegates. This session was one of the highlights of the entire
congress, one which raised tears to the eyes of many participants. One of the girls, about ten years of age recited a poem
that she wrote – Why Was I Born / To Be Not Loved? / Why Was I Born / To Be A Thief? / To Be Exploited?... At this
point she could not continue to read, she started to weep, and someone embraced her and took her to sit at the rear of
the room. Naturally, everyone wept together with her – some with tears and some in their heart.
Our session was one of the few that actually dealt with therapy and therapists proper. Most of the sessions dealt with
rehab programs, intra-family therapy and various projects of helping children. After screening the film, even though the
designated time was up, the participants did not get up and they wanted to share their feelings about the film. Many
people attended, showed an interest and provided positive feedback regarding the film.
We also attended lectures of others of our group members from Israel. Shlomo Kassel spoke about the protective
program that was developed at “Emuna” at Afula, and Emanuel Grupper spoke about the special problems of immigrant
children and families, and their treatment within the youth villages’ framework. He mentioned the establishment of a
youth village in Ruanda by the Israeli social services for children who were saved from the genocide that occurred there.
We visited one of the homes that are assisted by the social and welfare workers. This was a dilapidated tin shack with a
leaking roof, in which a grandmother raises 5 grandchildren from her daughter who had died of AIDS. The welfare official
translated our questions about their lives there, the dreams of the children for their future, the condition of violence and
their protection. We also visited a family group home of Jewish children in Cape Town. This is a five-star family group
home, one child to a room, spacious living and dining rooms, a yard with a beautifully kept lawn and good therapeutic
wok. (All in all, very similar to the educational and therapeutic work that we are doing at "Ahava" ). We also visited a
boarding school of African children, groups of some 12 children with a house mother who performs almost all of the
duties, accompanied by social workers, and we were mainly impressed with the warmth, the patience and love of
children, and the therapeutic manner of the house mother with whom we spoke.
At one of the sessions we heard about a project in Holland in which house mothers raise 2 children (Two children! No
mistake) at each such family home. We spoke a lot with the project manager and one of the house mothers to find out
how this is possible, and for their part they could not understand how we raise 13 children in each family home.
This was a very moving and touching congress, and we returned home with many memories and experiences that will
remain with us for a long time to come.