This article provides 6 tips for learning to enjoy time spent alone, as research has shown many people prefer external stimulation and find inner thoughts anxiety-provoking. The tips are: start with small periods of alone time each week; practice mindfulness of present moments; focus on deep breathing to calm anxiety; let the mind wander without judgment; engage the creative side through hobbies; and write letters to relax the mind. With regular practice, people can gain comfort with solitude and experience reduced stress and improved focus.

1. 6 Ways to Be Happy Alone
 By Dr. Sanjay Gupta
A study suggests that people have a hard time being
alone with their thoughts. What can you do about it?
Everybody spends time alone, but some of us find
it more difficult than others. The potential benefits
of solitude include reduced stress, enhanced
creativity, and improved concentration. Yet a
recent study suggests that many people prefer
any stimuli, even negative ones, to being alone
with their thoughts.
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Christine Carter, PhD, a sociologist and happiness
expert at the Greater Good Science Center at the
University of California, Berkeley, isn’t surprised.
“Our normal state of being is constant
stimulation,” she says. “We live in a culture of
busyness, where we’re constantly moving,
constantly doing, constantly on the go. We equate
being busy with meaningfulness, so when we’re
alone, it can trigger a lot of fear and anxiety that
our lives are lacking meaning.”
Researchers from the University of Virginia asked
subjects to spend up to 15 minutes alone without
any distractions. Less than half of the participants
said they enjoyed this “thinking period.” Given the
option of distracting themselves with a small
electrical shock, roughly two-thirds of the men
and a quarter of the women chose to do so.

2. “It may be that the mind evolved to engage with
the external world and that, in the absence of any
external input, many people find it difficult to
focus solely on their thoughts,” says the study’s
lead author Timothy Wilson. “I suspect that
thinking may be easier when there is something
to focus on in the external world that is mildly
engaging.”
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. While
research has shown thatloneliness poses serious
health risks, a certain amount of “alone time” can
be good for you.
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“We need to understand the difference between
time spent alone in mindful awareness and true
isolation,” Carter says. “As human beings, we are
very tribal and meant to be in connection with
other people… [but] when people learn how to be
alone with their thoughts without stimulation,
they tend to feel less lonely.”
Here are some tips on how you can benefit from
quality time spent alone:
Start small. “The ability to be alone is a learned
skill,” Carter says. “If you’re new to it, start by
carving out small spaces of time when you
commit to being alone.” She recommends eating
a meal by yourself once a week, avoiding all
technology until after your morning shower, or
refusing to read the newspaper for the first 10
minutes of breakfast.

3. Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to what
you’re doing in the moment, even if it’s just
sitting on a bus or performing a simple task.
“When you’re washing your hands, focus on each
finger, from the top to bottom,” says Kimberly
Wulfert, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Ventura,
Calif. “Notice how the water feels, what the
temperature is, and so on. So often we’re thinking
about the past and worrying about the future that
we forget to live in the present.”
Focus on breathing. Having a single point of
reference to concentrate on, such as the in-and-
out motion of breathing, can clear the mind of
other thoughts. Deep breathing can have a
calming effect. “Being alone can cause anxiety
and fear, which can cause the heart to beat
faster,” Carter says. “Deep breathing will activate
the part of the nervous system that will slow the
heart rate down.”
Let your mind wander. Our minds are
constantly working, so try not to invest too much
into wandering thoughts, Carter says. “If a
thought pops into your head, acknowledge it,” she
says. “Label it. Say, ‘That’s a thought about what
my boss said to me today.’ Then let it go.”
Get creative. If you need some external stimuli
to feel at ease, Wulfert recommends listening to
music you never heard before or getting in touch
with your creative side through painting or
drawing. “You’re expanding your mind, while at
the same time you may just discover something
new that you love,” she says.

4. Write a letter. The experience of putting pen to
paper to write a letter to someone you care about
can be fun and soothing, Wulfert says. Consider
writing a letter to yourself. Imagine who you will
be in five or 10 years, and think about what you
would want to say to the future you.
“What you’re working up toward is spending
enough time alone every single day that you
generate this sense of well-being,” Carter says.
“It takes time and is uncomfortable at first, but it
gets easier.”