8 The Analytical Research Paper (Rough Draft) Black Lives Matter The United States of America is the greatest nation on earth. It is a place where citizens are accorded their rights by a Constitution that seeks equality and fairness for all Americans in all the aspects of life. Everyone in the United States of America should understand that no single race or ethnic group should pride itself as the single race or ethnic group that can rightfully claim to be the primary owner the United States. The United States is blend of all the races available on earth and it is a country that embraces them all. No race‚ therefore‚ should feel it has more rights to the United States more than the others. If there is one race that should say that they belong to the United States it should be the Indigenous Indian people who were displaced by the English settlers when they came to the United States. All these other races have soon followed into the United States in search of opportunity. Comment by LRC: Be careful here. African Americans did not follow “in search of opportunity.” White Americans enlsaved them and brought them here by force. Mexican Americans became part of the country when White Americans took their land by military force. One needs to understand that every race or ethnic group in the United States has in one way or another contributed to the country that s the world’s superpower and the greatest country on earth‚ the United States. That is why the American Constitution protects each and every American citizen equally with no discrimination or bias. Every American regardless of race or ethnic affiliation is thus equally American and should not be discriminated upon in any way. It is important‚ however‚ to acknowledge the fact that this is not what is reflected in the current America. People of colour‚ and more importantly the African Americans are still facing discrimination in the American society. The criminal justice system‚ in particular‚ happens to be the main area were African Americans are discriminated against in terms of police shootings‚ arrests‚ and the sentences they receive on charges compared to their white counterparts. Comment by LRC: Your first three paragraphs should be one paragraph. Together they create the context for your paper. Then your introduction paragraph should end by identifying your artifact (the woman holding the Black Lives Matter sign) and making a thesis statement about the artifact. Comment by LRC: It would be useful to have a citation with this fact. It is really sad that during the 21st century a great nation like the United States of America is still facing racial discrimination. We all need to come to terms with the fact that people of every race took part in the building of America to become what it is today. African Americans‚ thought they worked as slaves‚ contributed to the building of America. They even played a role in fighting the colonizers along with the First President of the United States‚ ...

1. 8
The Analytical Research Paper (Rough Draft)
Black Lives Matter
The United States of America is the greatest nation on earth. It
is a place where citizens are accorded their rights by a
Constitution that seeks equality and fairness for all Americans
in all the aspects of life. Everyone in the United States of
America should understand that no single race or ethnic group
should pride itself as the single race or ethnic group that can
rightfully claim to be the primary owner the United States.
The United States is blend of all the races available on earth
and it is a country that embraces them all. No race‚ therefore‚
should feel it has more rights to the United States more than the
others. If there is one race that should say that they belong to
the United States it should be the Indigenous Indian people who
were displaced by the English settlers when they came to the
United States. All these other races have soon followed into the
United States in search of opportunity. Comment by LRC: Be
careful here. African Americans did not follow “in search of
opportunity.” White Americans enlsaved them and brought them
here by force. Mexican Americans became part of the country
when White Americans took their land by military force.
One needs to understand that every race or ethnic group in the
United States has in one way or another contributed to the
country that s the world’s superpower and the greatest country
on earth‚ the United States. That is why the American
Constitution protects each and every American citizen equally
with no discrimination or bias. Every American regardless of
race or ethnic affiliation is thus equally American and should
not be discriminated upon in any way. It is important‚ however‚
to acknowledge the fact that this is not what is reflected in the
current America. People of colour‚ and more importantly the
African Americans are still facing discrimination in the
American society. The criminal justice system‚ in particular‚

2. happens to be the main area were African Americans are
discriminated against in terms of police shootings‚ arrests‚ and
the sentences they receive on charges compared to their white
counterparts. Comment by LRC: Your first three paragraphs
should be one paragraph. Together they create the context for
your paper. Then your introduction paragraph should end by
identifying your artifact (the woman holding the Black Lives
Matter sign) and making a thesis statement about the artifact.
Comment by LRC: It would be useful to have a citation
with this fact.
It is really sad that during the 21st century a great nation like
the United States of America is still facing racial
discrimination. We all need to come to terms with the fact that
people of every race took part in the building of America to
become what it is today. African Americans‚ thought they
worked as slaves‚ contributed to the building of America. They
even played a role in fighting the colonizers along with the First
President of the United States‚ Abraham Lincoln‚ and thus
should be treated with the respect they deserve‚ just as their
white counterparts. Everyone should understand‚ especially the
United States criminal justice system that black lives matter.
Comment by LRC: At this point in your paper there should
be a paragraph in which you describe the image of the woman
holding the sign so that the reader can understand what the
image looks like.
Following that description there should be a paragraph or two in
which you identify certain details from the image and begin to
analyze what they communicate to the audience. Comment by
LRC: George Washington
It is a fact that African Americans have not been treated equal
to the white people in the United States historically. In his
speech‚ James acknowledges this fact by pointing out that it is
important for black leaders to assert the fact that black lives
matter due to the fact that black lives have been considered
immaterial in the United States for far too long dating. He

3. acknowledges that black lives have not been seen to matter as
much as the lives of other races.
According to Clapper‚ therefore‚ since black lives have been
considered not to matter as much as other lives by many
Americans‚ mainly of the white race‚ black leaders have the
responsibility to ensure that they make it clear to all those
people that black lives should equally matter as other lives
owing to the contributions that the African Americans have
made to the country.Comment by LRC: You have many
paragraphs from James Clapper’s speech. You need to
consolidate them into one or two paragraphs in which you
summarize his most important arguments and incorporate
quotations from the speech.
Looking back at the building of the United States‚ one cannot
fail to see the contribution that the African Americans made.
Though they may not have contributed in a capacity of the
respected American people’s point of view‚ the contribution
that they made is reasonable significant for those people who
want to be true to the facts. In his speech‚ Clapper refers to the
former First Lady Michelle Obama‚ ad his reference helps to
bring out how black people contributed to the early stages of the
building of America.
He points out that the former first lady acknowledged that by
seeing her daughters in the country’s White House‚ she could
not help but get reminded of the hard work that black people‚
who were working by then as slaves‚ put in to build the white
house. Looking at this‚ one cannot help but realize that black
lives do really matter considering the fact that they played an
important role in building the single most important structure in
the United States‚ the White House‚ where the most powerful
man in the world and the President of the United States of
America resides.
Clapper uses several real life experiences try to show his
audience that black lives do really matter. In his speech‚ he
points out that there was a time when he and his family were
living at some highland in Japan he points out there was a black

4. dentist who happened to had gone to brunch where the army
officers and their wives‚ which included Clapper’s parents and
his sister‚ were all there. It thus happened that the dentist was
the only man in the room that was black‚ and because in he was
black sat by himself on the room’s perimeter.
The fact that the dentist sat alone in a corner in a room that was
filled with his fellow army lieutenant colonels and colonels is
enough proof to show that blacks were discriminated in the
army despite the fact that Harry Truman had already signed an
executive order that was aimed at desegregating the military
(Clapper,40). Despite the move‚ discrimination was still there
in the military. The lives of black officers were still considered
not to matter as the lives of the white officer counterparts.
Clapper further narrates in his speech that when his mother saw
the dentists seating alone in the corner‚ she went to him‚ took
his hand‚ and brought him to the table where his family was
seated. He and her sister were moved so that the dentists could
sit with them on the table. It is important to acknowledge here
that Clapper’s family was a white family‚ but his mother defied
the social disregard of the black people and felt for the dentist.
That is why she went to him and took him‚ by the hand‚ to their
family table.
The one shocking thing‚ though it was common at the time‚ is
that when his mother was doing all this‚ everyone in the room
stopped what they were doing to concentrate at her. The white
people in the room saw it as a deviant act since white people
were not expected to show any compassion or empathy towards
black people since black people were considered to matter at
all. It was this time that Clapper realized that black lives really
do matter. Looking at this example‚ it is clear that Clapper is
trying to arouse empathy in the audience using real lives
examples that he experienced as a young boy in order to arouse
the feeling that really makes them see that back lives do matter.
Comment by LRC: After you summarize Clapper’s
arguments, you must use them to help you explain more about
what message your image communicates. Presumably your

5. analysis here will relate to the statement on the woman’s poster.
Clapper has given a list of reasons why Black Lives Matter. The
Woman has not. Why do you think that is? What does she
expect of her audience? These are some questions you might
consider answering as you consider how Clapper’s speech
relates to your artifact.
White privilege has a significant role to play in an American
society where black lives seem not to matter. It is important to
start by understanding the word “privilege.” Privilege refers to
a word that is constituted by two Latin words‚ which mean
private and law. Explaining it from the American society’s
perspective‚ privilege can be used to describe the American
criminal justice system that does not bind all the American
people equally. To make it even more clearly‚ if an African
American youth was to be arrested for graffiti‚ which would be
considered a felony in his case‚ the same would occur for the
case of a white college student who engages in the same activity
or crime for that matter. This unequal treatment of black people
from the organs of the criminal justice system is to blame for
the American people’s consideration that black lives do not
matter Comment by LRC: This is a useful explanation of
white privilege. Now you need to relate it to your image. How
does it help you analyze your image? Does it relate to white
people expecting to go about their business without having to
think about the affects of racism. (Whereas people of color must
think about the effects of racism no matter what they are
doing?) Does it relate to the white “all lives matter” response to
the phrase “black lives matter”? How might white privilege
have lead to that response? Does white privilege relate to why
the woman needs to carry a sign that says Black Lives Matter to
begin with?
As Bergo and Nicholls put it‚ when any laws that bind or
govern any given community tend to apply differently to the
different members that make up that given community‚ such
laws end up undermining the given community’s solidarity.
This‚ in turn‚ undermine that whole community. This is in fact

6. what has taken place in the U.S. criminal justice system. When
a white individual commits the same crime as a black
counterpart‚ the back offender tends to receive a harsher or
longer sentence compared to the white counterpart‚ even when
the appropriate sentence should have been a fine‚ community
service‚ or a shorter jail term. It is because of this differential
treatment of black people by the government organs‚ such as the
criminal justice system‚ that has made the white American
society to disregard black lives and they now believe that black
lives do not matter. Comment by LRC: Again, you will need to
summarize the major arguments from Bergo and Nicholls into
one or two paragraphs. Then return to your image and write
about how Bergo and Nicholls arguments help you understand
the woman’s protest in a new way. How do their arguments help
you understand the message she is communicating in a more
complicated way? Does this have something to do with the way
she is presenting Blackness or African-ness as a centrepiece of
her demonstration. Is she trying to show that the dominant white
culture is not the only culture?
Before any white American believes or even thinks that black
lives do not matter‚ he or she should first try and look back at
the American history. The United States is a blend of people
from all over the world. These different races and ethnic groups
arrived in the United States at different times. What we all seem
to understand very clearly is that blacks came to the United
States as slaves and it is because of this that white people tend
to have the illusion that black lives matter. White people need
to understand‚ however‚ that their ancestors may not have been
treated as “white” when they first came to the United States.
To know who is white and who is not may be hard to tell
currently in the United States. People who were originally from
Russia‚ the Poles‚ Ireland‚ and Italy were considered non-white
when they first arrived in the Lower East Side of New York
City. The one shocking thing is that all these ethnic groups are
now considered white in the United States (Bergo &
Nicholls,109). The fact that these European originated ethnic

7. groups have by the white Americans is an indication that they
now believe that their lives matter and that they can identify
themselves with them. The main question that one is left
pondering about is‚ why hasn’t the white American people
never viewed black people as part of their society and that their
lives matter?
To answer this question‚ may be white Americans need to see
the contributions that black people are making to the nation. It
may seem that they recently noticed that black lives matter
when President Barrack Obama was elected into the white for
two terms. This‚ however‚ in not the case owing to the fact that
many African Americans have in the past few months been
violently killed by police officers as if their lives do not amount
to anything when it comes to contributing to the growth and
development of the country.
Intelligence is one of the most important things that the United
States has thrived on for many years. It has been the main thing
behind its ability to fight terrorists and to ensure the safety of
the American people. Black people have been on the forefront
in seeing to it that the American intelligence is always on the
best edge. In his speech‚ intelligence requires contributions of
people of different racial dispositions and that is why black
people are important. He points out that it is important took at
gathered intelligence using different viewpoints in order to
eliminated biases that would bring about skewed analysis
(Clapper).
In his speech‚ he acknowledged that his experience in the
intelligence was enough to show him that it cannot be easy get
diverse ideas in a room that is filled with people of the same
racial affiliation‚ sexual affiliation‚ and who have had the same
life experiences (Clapper). It thus implies that there is need for
people that have had different life experiences for ideas to be
analyzed from all the possible and available perspectives. This
is where black lives come to matter.
Clapper points out that at his tenure in the Intelligence
Community‚ he has always placed diversity as an important

8. priority. The reasons for these are that diversity is not only the
right thing that everyone should fight for‚ but is also critical to
any given intelligence mission as well as ensuring that the
different views of the minorities are heard when making
important decisions (Clapper,65). He points out in his speech
that the 2014 appointment of Frank Taylor as the head of the
country’s Department Homeland Security’ intelligence
department was a smart move by the country. Such
appointments thus help to prove to white people that indeed
black lives matter.
Like the African Americans in the United States‚ Black
Brazilians are also considered to be less equal to the other
Brazilians. Though they have been promised lands as a way of
paying back for the bad treatment that they have received in the
past‚ those promises have not been met fully and when they
have been honoured it has been faced with serious land-based
conflicts (Farfán-Santos,110). No important measures have been
put in place to see to it that these promises are really honoured.
It is as if these black lives are not considered to matter and that
is why they are receiving such a treatment. Comment by
LRC: If you are going to include this article, you will need to
relate it to the image. Comment by LRC: After you have
summarized each article and applied it to your artifact, you
must continue your analysis in a way that puts all of your ideas
together.
In conclusion‚ it is high time that everyone in the United States
and around the world understand that every life matter no
matter the racial or ethnic affiliation because different races can
make different important contributions. Black lives‚ therefore‚
matter just as the lives of white people as pointed out by
Clapper. They are an important component of the country’s
intelligence system. Comment by LRC: Your conclusion
should contain a final thesis statement about the artifact.

9. Professor:
You have written a decent opinion paper, but your have not
completed the assignment for this class which is to write an
analytical research paper in which you use secondary sources to
help you analyze the rhetoric of an artifact. In your case, the
artifact you chose is an image of an activist holding a Black
Lives Matter sign.
While you have presented a context for your analysis (the
promise of America as a country where all races are supposed to
be treated equally under law, and the conflicting fact that the
criminal justice system targets African Americans in particular)
and summarized the arguments of three secondary sources, you
have not introduced or analyzed your artifact, or shown how the
secondary sources relate to the artifact and its rhetoric.
As you revise this into your revise this into your final paper, I
suggest you:
1. Read my margin notes, which tell you what you should be
writing about at each point in the paper.
2. Carefully review Monday’s discussion board about the
essential elements of the finale paper. Please post questions if
you do not understand the difference between the paper you
wrote and the requirements of the paper.
3. Review presentations about rhetoric and rhetorical analysis if
you are still unclear about what rhetorical analysis means:
pathos,
logos,
and ethos
4. I have just finished reading your rough draft, and I see that,
again, you have not written about your artifact (the image of the

10. woman with the Black Lives Matter sign). I am not saying that
you are supposed to put a copy of the photo in the paper. You're
paper is supposed to be about the photo.
Do you see the difference between the outlines I have provided
and the paper you have written? If you don't see the difference,
you will not be able to correct the paper.
Works Cited
Bergo, Bettina and Tracey Nicholls. “I Don’t See Color”:
Personal and Critical Perspectives on White Privilege.Penn
State University Press. 2015
Clapper R. James, “Why Black Lives Matter To U.S.
Intelligence.” Nov. 4, 2016‚ Morehouse College, Atlanta.
Farfán-Santos, Elizabeth. Black Bodies, Black Rights : The
Politics of Quilombolismo in Contemporary Brazil. University
of Texas Press. 2016
ARP Step 5: The Analytical Research Paper (Final)
· Points 200
· Submitting a file upload
In the time since you turned in your Analytical Research Paper
rough draft, you have received my feedback on your draft,
finalized and presented your Symposium Presentation,
viewed your classmates' presentations, conducted in-class peer
review on your ARP revisions, and reflected in class and in
writing on the ways your experience in the English Symposium
may inform your Analytical Research Paper. Now you should
make final revisions to your ARP and turn it in as your last

11. assignment for this class.
Objectives:
· Revise your ARP so that it responds more fully to the
Objectives in ARP Step 4: The Analytical Research Paper
(Rough Draft)
· Integrate instructor and peer feedback, as well as your own
evolving understandings of your topic.
Essential Elements of the Final Analytical Research Paper
1. The Introduction Paragraph
Context: The majority of the introduction should NOT be about
the primary source. Instead the introduction paragraph should
explain the context the reader needs to understand in order to
follow you analysis of the primary source.
Here are some examples of the context you might choose for
your introduction paragraph:
The historical moment: the Black Lives Matter movement and
the issues it seeks to address.
The historical moment: current evidence of anti-Black state
violence
The particular moment in the photo: for example, description of
a particular protest and the events that preceded it
History of athlete activism
History of artist activism
Explanation of a commonly held belief that your paper will push
back against.
Please note: if you choose a context that is not the Black Lives
Matter movement or the current evidence of anti-Black state
violence, you will likely need to give information about either
or both of these things at some point in your paper.
Your primary source in your introduction:
At the very end of your introduction paragraph you should

12. introduce your primary source. This typically works in two
sentences:
Second to last sentence of the paragraph: Identifies your
primary source and how it relates to the context.
Last sentence of the paragraph: Makes a claim that you intend
to prove about your primary source. This is your thesis
statement. Does your thesis statement relate to all of the claims
you make throughout your paper? If not, revise your thesis
statement. Also, review the work we did in Chapter 7 about how
to construct a strong thesis statement.
2. Immediately following the introduction paragraph: Detailed
explanation of your primary source. (2 or more paragraphs)
Tells the specific who, what, when, where of your primary
source (where it first appeared, etc.)
Detailed description of the source, highlighting relevant details.
Your initial analysis of the primary source.
3. Secondary Source Integration
You should use the next several paragraphs (several pages) to
introduce your secondary sources. For each secondary source
you should:
Summarize the source and the relevant argument the source
makes.
Show how the source helps you develop your analysis of the
primary source further or in new ways.
OR show how the argument in the primary source is faulty and
push back against it in your analysis of your primary source.
Please note: This section looks short here, but it is the longest
and most complicated section. I gave everyone very detailed
feedback on their Secondary Source Integration assignments

13. about how to effectively craft this section. If you follow that
feedback very carefully, you will have success with this section
of the paper. If you ignore it … you will probably not have
success with this section of the paper.
4. Your Analysis
After you work with your secondary sources, you must continue
your analysis with your own twist. Your analysis should:
Build off (or push back against) the arguments and analysis
from your secondary sources,
Be based in an interpretation of facts and not unsupported ideas,
Make new and further developed claim(s) about your primary
source.
Please note: For you as a writer, this is the most important
section of the paper because it is where you show your most
developed critical thinking.
5. Conclusion
The conclusion should be one paragraph and it should contain a
restated or evolved version of your thesis statement.
Purpose of the Conclusion: Show the reader why and how your
thesis matters. Your readers know more about your subject
matter now, so your conclusion can explain the “so what?” of
the paper in a more complex way than your introduction.
Possible ways to get at the questions of how and why your
thesis matters:
Does your thesis have broader implications than you discussed
in the introduction?
Does your thesis shed light on the historical context?
Are there troubling questions that your thesis points to?

14. 6. Works Cited Page: should contain MLA citations for your
primary and secondary sources.