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TO:  GOD   FROM: THE DOG   Show By Cindy [email_address] Love Me With All Your Heart
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,  but  seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there  are,  will I have to apologize?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or  is it still the same old story?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest  and no human  hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the  jaguar, the cougar,  the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,  but not ONE  named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?   We do love a nice ride!
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal  instructions,  hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,  electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do  humans  understand?
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle"  the " Chrysler  Beagle"?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.   
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of  the things I must  remember to be a good dog.
[object Object]
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty  litter box,  although they are tasty.  4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.  6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.  8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in  for Mom's  driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the  toilet.  10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an  unacceptable  way of saying  "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when  I'm under the  coffee table.  12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before  entering the  house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.    14. I will not come in from outside and immediately  drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room  and  lick my crotch when we have company.  16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play  with  him and he  makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God:  When I get to Heaven  may I have my  testicles back? And, finally, My last question . . .

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To God from dog

  • 1. TO:  GOD   FROM: THE DOG   Show By Cindy [email_address] Love Me With All Your Heart
  • 2. Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but  seldom, if ever, smell one another?
  • 3. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there  are, will I have to apologize?
  • 4. Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
  • 5. Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest  and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
  • 6. Dear God: Why are there cars named after the  jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,  but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?   We do love a nice ride!
  • 7. Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal  instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans  understand?
  • 8. Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle"  the " Chrysler Beagle"?
  • 9. Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.   
  • 10. Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of  the things I must remember to be a good dog.
  • 11.
  • 12. 3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty  litter box,  although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • 13. 5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
  • 14. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in  for Mom's driver's license and registration.
  • 15. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an  unacceptable way of saying  "hello".
  • 16. 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when  I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before  entering the house - not after.
  • 17. 13. I will not throw up in the car.    14. I will not come in from outside and immediately  drag my butt.
  • 18. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room  and  lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play  with  him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
  • 19. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my  testicles back? And, finally, My last question . . .