COUN 603Case Study InstructionsAbout 15 of premarital couples.docx

COUN 603
Case Study Instructions
About 15% of premarital couples report as “Conflicted”
couples. The goal of this assignment is to evaluate the provided
case study on a “Conflicted” couple and to submit a clinical
analysis to support this couple. This will require addressing 3
main areas: (1) identifying the key strengths and weaknesses
between the couple, (2) discussing how the couple’s
personalities might be influencing the situation, (3) developing
a strategy to counsel, and potentially support, the couple.
Your paper must be 9–12 pages (not including title page and
references) and must include at least 1 research-based approach
from 8 scholarly sources. You must utilize course materials,
research and the Bible. This amounts to about 3 pages per
section. Your paper must also include section headings clearly
identifying the 3 required areas of concern outlined below.
Identify Key Areas (strengths and weaknesses)—This section
must explore the overall case study and must clearly identify
the problems at hand. Do not simply label the issues; explore
the implications of the identified problems and how they might
contribute to the overall conflicted relationship of the couple.
Remember to review the couple’s background and other factors
that may contribute to conflict. The case study contains
significant data. Be sure to explore it thoroughly.
Understanding this will provide the platform on which to
counsel the couple. A subsection of this area must be focused
on identifying the couple strengths.
Personalities—This section must explore the 5 dimensions of
the SCOPE personality assessment section and must discuss
how these results could contribute to the conflict as well as the
recovery of the relationship.
Action Plan—This section must outline a realistic approach to

counseling to the couple, utilizing clinically-based resources.
This must be based upon your actual resources. This is an
opportunity for you to do some research in your area and see
what others are doing for couples.
This section must address how you would counsel the couple.
Be specific to your overall strategy for addressing the
previously identified issues. It must also address how local
resources may be utilized to support the couple’s development.
Remember, this must be realistic. You must not say that you are
going to have the couple meet with you twice a week, read 2
books, take a class on finances, and join a support group. Even
the most dedicated couple could not follow a regiment like that.
The detail in this section must focus on your counseling
strategy, supplemented by local resources, not just a note that
you would refer the couple to a professional counselor
(although that may be the case). Another important aspect of
this section is to make sure you justify your approaches by
utilizing the information you have been given. Your goal is not
to keep them busy with work but to diminish their weaknesses
in a realistic manner.
The Case Study: Draft is due by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Sunday of
Module/Week 6.
The Case Study: Final is due by 11:59 p.m. (ET) on Friday of
Module/Week 8.
http://www.prepare-enrich.com
2

PREPARE/ENRICH
Customized Version
Facilitator: Crystal J. Wallace Date Completed: 12/30/2012
Couple Names: Chris
Olympia
Couple Login Code: FBM2E4-
447PNH
Customizations:
Married Children from Previous Relationship
Protestant Cultural/Ethnic Differences
Children Under 18
This Facilitator's Report is not to be given to the couple. It is
for the Facilitator's use only.
Please print a copy of the Couple's Report for the couple.
Contents
Report Section Page
Background Information 3
Couple Typology / Strength & Growth Areas 4
Overall Satisfaction & Idealistic Distortion 5

Relationship Dynamics 6
Commitment & Abuse 7
Personal Stress Profile 8
Core Relationship Categories 9-17
Additional Customized Categories 18-20
Couple Map 21
Family Map 22
SCOPE Personality Scales 23-25
PREPARE/ENRICH
© Copyright, 2008 - 2012
Life Innovations, Inc.
3
Background Information
Question
Chris

Olympia
Gender Male Female
Age Range 36 - 40 31 - 35
Ethnic Background African American African American
Education Completed Some College/TechnicalSchool
Some College/Technical
School
Religious Affiliation Protestant (Christian) No Answer
Which category best describes your
area of employment?
Construction Not employed outside ofhome
Role at work Trained Professional Not employed outside of
thehome
Employment Status (paid) Full-time No Answer
Individual Yearly Income $20,000 - $29,999 $10,000 -
$19,999
What is your birth position in your
family?
Second Second
No. children in your family Five or more Four
What is your current living

arrangement?
Married and living with
spouse
spouse
Where do you live? Suburban Area Small Town
How long have you and your spouse
been married?
1-5 years 1-5 years
No. children you have Five or more Five or more
How many more children do you
want?
One One
Is the woman pregnant? No No
Number of previous marriages 0 - never married before 1
previous marriage
Parents' marital status Married Divorced, 1 single/1remarried
Raised by Both Biological Parents Single Parent
4
Couple Typology (Core Scales)

Conflicted Couple Type
Based on the PCA scores across the core categories, this couple
is best categorized as a Conflicted Couple. They disagree and
have
concerns about many aspects of their relationship. Conflicted
couples often struggle to communicate well with one another
and have
difficulty resolving issues. They should concentrate on
improving their communication and conflict resolution skills.
Based on past research with thousands of couples,
PREPARE/ENRICH categorizes couple relationships into one of
five common
relational patterns:
Vitalized couples are typically most satisfied with their
relationship, skilled in communication and conflict resolution.
Harmonious couples also enjoy high levels of satisfaction
across most areas of their relationship.
Conventional couples are often highly committed to one
another, but not as skilled in communication or conflict
resolution.
Conflicted couples have a lower level of satisfaction and often
struggle with many areas of their relationship.
Devitalized couples have the lowest level of satisfaction and
have growth areas in almost all aspects of their relationship.
Strength and Growth Areas
Levels of Positive Couple Agreement Core and Customized

Scales
Relationship Strengths (PCA=80 - 100%)
Areas with High Couple Agreement Sexual Relationship
Possible Relationship Strengths (PCA=50 - 70%)
Areas with Moderately High Couple Agreement
Cultural/Ethnic Issues
Family & Friends
Financial Management
Spiritual Beliefs
Step Parenting Issues
Possible Growth Areas (PCA=30 - 40%)
Areas with Moderately Low Couple Agreement
Leisure Activities
Roles & Responsibilities
Growth Areas (PCA=0 - 20%)
Areas with Low Couple Agreement
Communication
Conflict Resolution
Forgiveness
Partner Style & Habits
5
Overall Satisfaction

The graphs below plot the Overall Satisfaction for each
individual and the couple based on the Core Scales.
Idealistic Distortion
Idealistic Distortion measures the extent to which a person
distorts their relationship in a positive direction.
Chris may be somewhat realistic, but sometimes
denies or minimizes problems in their relationship.
Olympia is generally realistic and open to admitting
limitations or problems in their relationship.
Interpretation of Idealism
A high score (above 65%) indicates that a person
describes their relationship in an overly positive
manner and sees it through "rose colored" glasses.
A lower score (below 40%) indicates a more realistic
approach to describing the relationship.
Revised Individual Scores
In order to provide more accurate individual scores
for each category, each person's Individual Scores
are corrected based on how high their score is on
Idealistic Distortion. Revised Individual scores are
graphed and defined in many of the following

relationship categories.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
Idealistic Distortion Items
2 2 Every new thing I have learned about my partner has
pleased me.
2 2 I have never regretted my relationship with my partner.
4 2 My partner always gives me the love and affection I need.
2 2 My partner and I understand each other completely.
4 1 My partner completely understands and sympathizes with
my every mood.
5 5 My partner has all the qualities I've always wanted in a
mate.
5 2 We are as happy as any couple could possibly be.

6
Relationship Dynamics
Assertiveness is the ability to express one's feelings and ask for
what one wants.
Chris: High
Chris is good at expressing thoughts and feelings, and is able
to ask for what he/she wants in the
relationship.
Olympia: Low
Olympia has some difficulty expressing thoughts and feelings,
and sometimes finds it difficult to ask
for what he/she wants in the relationship.
Self Confidence focuses on how good one feels about oneself
and their ability to accomplish what they want
in life.
Chris: Very High
Chris has a very high level of Self Confidence, positive self-
esteem, and feels very sure of his/her
ability to effectively accomplish what is wanted in life.
Olympia: Average
Olympia has a moderate level of Self Confidence and may
generally have positive self-esteem, and

typically feels good about his/her ability to accomplish what is
wanted in life.
Avoidance is the tendency to minimize issues and reluctance to
deal with issues directly.
Chris: Low
Chris scored low in Avoidance and will generally be open to
identifying and discussing issues in their
relationship.
Olympia: High
Olympia scored in the high range and may tend to minimize
problems and be reluctant to deal directly
with issues.
Partner Dominance focuses on how much one feels controlled or
dominated by their partner.
Chris: Very High
Chris scored in the high range in Partner Dominance and often
feels his/her partner is dominant,
controlling, and usually interested in managing his/her life.
Olympia: High
Olympia scored in the high range in Partner Dominance and
may often feel his/her partner is
dominant, controlling, or interested in managing his/her life.
7

Commitment
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Questions
Chris
Olympia
I am committed to making our
marriage last a lifetime.
Strongly Agree Strongly Agree
I am open to doing whatever it takes
to improve our marriage.

I believe my partner is committed to
making our marriage last a lifetime.
I believe my partner is open to doing
whatever it takes to improve our
marriage.
Strongly Agree Agree
Abuse
Never
1
Seldom
2
Sometimes
3
Often
4
Very Often
5
Questions

Chris
Olympia
Have your parents ever had problems
with alcohol or drug use?
Never Never
Have you ever had problems with
alcohol or drug use?
Never Seldom
Has your partner ever had problems
with alcohol or drug use?
Never Seldom
Have you ever observed abuse
between your parents?
Never Never
Were you ever abused by your
parents?
Never Seldom
Have you ever been abused by your
current partner?
Never Seldom
Have you ever been abused by anyone

else?
Sometimes Often
Do you struggle with unhealthy sexual
behavior or use of pornography?
Sometimes Never
Does your partner struggle with
unhealthy sexual behavior or use of
pornography?
Never Seldom
8
Personal Stress Profile
The Personal Stress Profile examines each individual's personal
stress level over the last year. Stress levels
are based on responses to 25 common sources of personal stress.
Both individuals have very few frustrations or
challenges that are causing personal stress. When
stressful situations are encountered, it is likely that
effective coping strategies are being used to manage
the frustrations of daily life.
How often have these issues created stress for you?

Never
1
Seldom
2
Sometimes
3
Often
4
Very Often
5
Chris
Top 10 Stressors
Very Often
Lack of time for friends
Often
Lack of time for yourself
Your spouse
Sometimes
Your child/children

Olympia
Top 10 Stressors
Very Often
Feeling emotionally upset
Often
Your spouse
Help this couple compare their lists of top stressors. It is not
uncommon for their lists to be somewhat
different. Take a moment to help them discuss where things are
similar and where they are different. Key
resources for coping with stress include healthy communication,
conflict resolution, flexibility, and closeness.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Identifying Most Critical
Issues, Balancing your Priorities
9
Communication
The Communication category measures how couples feel about
the quality and quantity of communication in
their relationship. It explores how they share feelings,
understand, and listen to one another.

Chris feels generally good about their family
communication, but has some concerns about sharing
feelings and listening to each other.
Olympia appears to be very concerned about the
quality of their family communication and feels they
have few strengths in this area.
Growth Area: The couple disagrees or shares mutual
concern about most of the items in this category. Help
them discuss 1-2 Agreement Items and 2-3 of the
Disagreement, Indecision, or Special Focus items listed
below. By learning and practicing new communication
skills such as assertiveness and active listening, they
can improve their family communication.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5

Chris
Olympia
Positive Couple Agreement (0%)
Disagreement (40%)
2 5 - At times it is hard for me to ask my partner for what I
want.
4 1 + I am very satisfied with how my partner and I talk
with each other.
4 2 + I can express my true feelings to my partner.
2 5 - It is difficult for me to share negative feelings with my
partner.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (60%)
5 4 - I wish my partner were more willing to share his/her
feelings with me.
2 2 + My partner is a very good listener.
4 5 - My partner often doesn't understand how I feel.
4 5 - My partner sometimes makes comments that put me
down.
4 4 - Sometimes I have trouble believing everything my
partner tells me.
4 4 - When we are having a problem, my partner often
refuses to talk about it.

PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Creating a Wish List using
Assertiveness & Active Listening, Daily Dialogue
and Daily Compliments
10
Conflict Resolution
The Conflict Resolution category looks at a couple's ability to
discuss and resolve differences. It measures how
effectively couples share opinions, ideas, and feelings, even
during times of conflict.
Chris feels generally good about their conflict
resolution, but has concerns about some aspects of
their ability to discuss and resolve differences.
Olympia has some concerns about their ability to
discuss and resolve differences, and has difficulty
identifying strengths in this area.
below. By learning and practicing new skills such as the
10 Steps for Resolving Conflict, they can improve their
relationship.

Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
2 2 - To avoid hurting my partner's feelings during an
argument, I tend to say nothing.
Disagreement (70%)
4 2 - At times my partner does not take our disagreements
seriously.
4 1 + Even during disagreements, I can share my feelings
and ideas with my partner.
4 2 - I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.
2 4 - My partner and I have different ideas about the best
way to solve our disagreements.

2 4 - To end an argument, I tend to give in too quickly.
2 5 - When we argue, I usually end up feeling responsible
for the problem.
4 2 + When we discuss problems, my partner understands
my opinions and ideas.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (20%)
4 5 - At times I feel some of our differences never get
resolved.
5 5 - Sometimes we have serious disputes over unimportant
issues.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: 10 Steps for Resolving
Conflict, How to Take a Time-Out, Seeking and
Granting Forgiveness
11
The Partner Style & Habits category measures each person's
satisfaction with the personal characteristics and
habits of their partner. It looks at each person's relationship
style and habits as expressed in their behavior.

Both individuals have some concerns about the
personality traits, habits, and behaviors they observe in
each other.
below. Reinforce healthy communication and problem
solving skills as they talk about this difficult area.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia

Disagreement (40%)
2 4 - I am unhappy with some of my partner's personality
characteristics or personal habits.
1 4 - I wish my partner were more reliable and followed
through on more things.
5 2 - Sometimes I am concerned about my partner's temper.
4 2 - Sometimes I have difficulty dealing with my partner's
moodiness.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (60%)
5 5 - I am sometimes concerned that my partner appears to
be unhappy and withdrawn.
4 4 - I am sometimes upset or embarrassed by my partner's
behavior.
5 4 - I wish my partner were less critical or negative about
some topics.
4 4 - My partner has some personal habits that bother me.
4 5 - Sometimes my partner is too stubborn.
4 4 - Sometimes my partner seems to be too controlling.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Assertiveness and Active
Listening, 10 Steps for Resolving Conflict, How to
Take a Time-Out
12

The Financial Management category looks at having realistic
financial plans and agreement in the area of
finances. It explores opinions about spending habits, savings,
debt, and making financial decisions.
Chris feels positive about how finances are being
handled, and is generally satisfied with their
spending/saving habits.
Olympia feels generally good about how finances are
being handled, but may have some concerns about
Possible Strength: The couple agreed on several of
the items in this category. Review these Agreement
Items, highlighting their strengths and resources. Next,
review and talk about 1-2 of the Disagreement,
Indecision, or Special Focus items. Many couples report
finances as the single biggest problem in their
relationship. Determining a budget, savings plan, and
financial goals are proactive ways to avoid later stress
and conflict.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2

Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
2 2 - I am concerned about how my partner handles money.
5 5 + I am satisfied with our decisions about how much
money we should save.
1 1 - Use of credit cards and charge accounts has been a
problem for us.
5 4 + We do a good job of managing our financial debts.
1 1 - We have difficulty deciding how to handle our
finances.
5 4 + We usually agree on how to spend our money.
Disagreement (30%)
2 4 - I am concerned that my partner is more of a spender
than I am.
2 5 - My partner tries to control the money we have.
2 4 - We have trouble saving money.
Indecision (0%)

Special Focus (10%)
4 4 - Sometimes I wish my partner were more careful about
spending money.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Financial Goals, Budget
Worksheet, The Meaning of Money
13
Leisure Activities
The Leisure Activities category measures a couple's satisfaction
with the amount and quality of leisure time
spent together. It looks at similarities in interests, and
satisfaction with the balance of time spent together and
apart.
Chris feels generally good about their leisure activities,
but has some concerns about the amount and quality of
their shared interests.
Olympia has some concerns about the amount and
quality of their leisure activities and has difficulty
identifying strengths in this area.
Possible Growth Area: While the couple has some
positive agreement, they disagree or share mutual

concern on several items in this category. Help them
discuss 2-3 Agreement Items and 2-3 of the
below. Helping them begin to identify a balanced level
of shared interests can increase the quality of their
relationship.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
2 2 - My idea of a good time differs somewhat from my
partner's.
5 4 + My partner and I enjoy the same interests and
recreational activities.

2 1 - My partner's activities (television, computer, sports,
etc.) interfere with our time
together.
Disagreement (50%)
1 4 - I am concerned that my partner has too many activities
or hobbies.
5 1 - I sometimes feel pressured to participate in activities
my partner enjoys.
2 5 - I wish my partner had more time and energy for
recreation with me.
5 1 + It is easy for us to make new couple friends.
5 2 + We find it easy to think of things to do together.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (20%)
5 5 - As a couple, I wish we did a better job of balancing
time together and time apart.
4 5 - I wish my partner and I shared more activities that we
both found enjoyable.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: The Dating Exercise
14
Sexual Relationship
The Sexual Relationship category measures a couple's

satisfaction with their sexual relationship and the level of
affection expressed. This category also explores their interest
in sex and ability to discuss sexual issues as a
couple.
Chris feels very positive about their sex and affection
and how they handle sexual issues.
Olympia feels positive about their sex and affection
and how they handle sexual issues.
Relationship Strength: The couple has positive
agreement with most of the items in this category.
Review some of their Agreement Items, which
represent strengths in their relationship. They may also
have 1 or 2 Disagreement, Indecision, or Special Focus
items to discuss. Congratulate them! Their affection
and sexual relationship can be difficult topics to
manage and discuss openly.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree

5
Chris
Olympia
5 5 + I am comfortable talking with my partner about sexual
issues.
1 1 - I am concerned that my partner may not be interested
in me sexually.
1 1 - I am concerned that my partner's interest in sex might
be different from mine.
2 2 - I am reluctant to be affectionate with my partner
because he/she often interprets it as
a sexual advance.
5 5 + I am satisfied with our openness in discussing sexual
topics.
1 1 - My partner uses or refuses sex unfairly.
5 5 + Our sexual relationship is satisfying and fulfilling to
me.
5 5 + We try to find ways to keep our sexual relationship
interesting and enjoyable.
Disagreement (20%)
5 2 + I am completely satisfied with the amount of affection
my partner gives me.
2 4 - I am concerned that my partner is interested in
viewing sexually explicit material.

Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: The Expression of Intimacy
15
Family & Friends
The Family & Friends category measures relationship
satisfaction with relatives and friends. It looks at each
individual's opinions of the other's family and friends, as well
as the level of influence and/or interference
experienced from these relationships.
Chris feels very positive about how they relate to one
another's family and friends and recognizes several
strengths in this area.
Olympia feels generally good about how they relate to
family and friends, but may be aware of 1-2 issues that
need to be discussed.

Indecision, or Special Focus items. Family and friends
can provide great encouragement and support for a
relationship, but they can sometimes interfere and
undermine a relationship as well. Healthy boundaries
with family and friends are important to finding balance
in this area.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
1 1 - I am worried that accepting financial assistance or
advice from our families will cause
problems for us.

5 5 + I enjoy spending time with my partner's family.
5 4 + My partner gets along well with most of my friends.
1 1 - My partner is too involved with or influenced by
his/her family.
1 1 - One or both of our families cause trouble in our
marriage.
1 1 - Sometimes my partner's friends or family interfere
with our relationship.
Disagreement (30%)
1 4 - I have concerns when my partner spends time with
friends or co-workers of the
opposite sex.
4 2 + I really enjoy being with most of my partner's friends.
5 2 + My family (parents/siblings) accepts me completely
and respects the decisions I make.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (10%)
5 5 - I wish we had more friendships with other married
couples.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Couple and Family Map:
Balancing your Relationship, Practical Tips to
Balance your Relationship
16

Roles & Responsibilities
The Roles & Responsibilities category measures satisfaction
with how roles and responsibilities are handled in
the relationship. More specifically, this category looks at how
household chores and decision making are shared.
Both individuals feel generally good about how roles
and responsibilities are handled in their relationship,
but may be aware of one or two issues that need
attention.
below. Developing a plan to share and effectively deal
with household chores, decision-making, and leadership
can be very helpful in this area.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3

Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
5 4 + I am happy with how we share leadership in our
relationship.
4 5 + We adjust well to changes in our roles and
responsibilities.
2 2 - We are often too busy to complete our household
chores.
Disagreement (50%)
5 2 - I am concerned that I do more than my share of the
household tasks.
2 5 + I am happy with the flexibility we have in our roles
and responsibilities.
5 2 + I feel good about how we have divided household
chores.
5 2 + My partner does not make important decisions without
consulting me.
2 5 - When it comes to making important decisions, we
often have power struggles.
Indecision (0%)

Special Focus (20%)
4 4 - I wish my partner would take on more responsibility
around the house.
4 5 - There are some household chores that seldom get
done.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Sharing Roles
17
Spiritual Beliefs
The Spiritual Beliefs category measures how satisfied or
involved couples are with the practice and expression of
spiritual beliefs in their relationship. This category looks at
similarities in spiritual beliefs and whether they are a
resource or a source of tension.
Chris feels very positive about the practice and
expression of spiritual beliefs in their relationship and
recognizes several strengths in this area.
Olympia feels positive about the practice and
expression of spiritual beliefs in their relationship.

Indecision, or Special Focus items. A solid spiritual
foundation can be a great resource for couples, while
dissimilar beliefs can sometimes lead to tension.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
5 5 + My faith is the foundation for the commitment I have
to my partner.
1 1 - My partner and I disagree about our spiritual beliefs.
5 5 + My partner and I feel closer because of our Christian
faith.
2 2 - Spiritual differences cause some tension in our

relationship.
5 5 + We have discussed the importance of our Christian
faith.
5 5 + We rely on our faith in God during difficult times.
5 5 + We share very similar spiritual beliefs.
Disagreement (30%)
5 2 + I believe our marriage must include active
participation in a church.
5 2 + Prayer is an important part of my daily life.
4 2 + We both support the practice of giving a portion of
our income to the church.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Your Spiritual Journey
18
Forgiveness
The Forgiveness category measures a couple's perception of
their ability to forgive one another following a
conflict, betrayal, or hurt. It looks at how well they request and
grant forgiveness in their relationship.

Chris feels generally good about their ability to let go
of past hurts, but has some concerns about requesting
or granting forgiveness.
Olympia has some concerns about their ability to
request and grant forgiveness in their relationship.
below. Forgiveness is a key ingredient for working
through issues, hurts and disappointments. Teach this
skill along with communication and conflict resolution.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris

Olympia
5 5 + I feel closer to my partner after we work through a
disappointment.
1 1 - My partner has done or said some things I may never
be able to forgive.
Disagreement (40%)
1 4 - I find it difficult to trust my partner because of his/her
past actions.
2 5 - In our relationship we forgive, but we don’t forget.
2 4 + My partner does a good job of apologizing and asking
for forgiveness.
4 2 + We do a good job of resolving issues and moving
forward.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (40%)
5 4 - My partner has a hard time admitting that he/she is at
fault.
5 4 - My partner has a hard time letting go of past hurts and
disappointments.
4 5 - My partner tends to hold a grudge for a long time.
4 5 - Tension remains in our relationship, even after we
work through hurts and
disappointments.

PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Seeking and Granting
Forgiveness, How to Take a Time-Out
19
Step Parenting Issues
The Step Parenting Issues category measures agreement on
issues related to having and raising children in a
stepfamily. This category explores opinions about discipline,
parenting responsibilities, and how children have
impacted marriage satisfaction.
Both individuals feel very satisfied with how they
handle the various responsibilities of having and raising
children together in a stepfamily.
Indecision, or Special Focus items. As children are
raised in a stepfamily, it is important for couples to
share in the decision-making and parenting
responsibilities. Healthy couples find ways to balance
the time and energy they put into the children with the
time and attention they set aside for their marriage.
Strongly Disagree

1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
1 1 - Children seem to create problems in our relationship.
5 5 + I am satisfied with how we share the responsibilities
of raising our children.
1 1 - It bothers me that my partner and I have different
styles of parenting.
5 4 + My partner and I have similar views on our children's
religious upbringing.
4 5 + My partner is very good with children and is a great
parent/stepparent.
5 5 + We agree on how much we should provide financially
for our children.
2 1 - We give more time and energy to our children than to
our relationship.

Disagreement (30%)
1 4 - Child custody and visitation arrangements have caused
problems for us.
2 4 - It has been difficult to deal with the complexity of a
stepfamily.
2 5 + We agree on how to discipline our children.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Stepfamilies: Choosing
Realistic Expectations
20
Cultural/Ethnic Issues
The Cultural/Ethnic Issues category measures how concerned
each individual is about differences in their ethnic
or cultural background negatively affecting their relationship.
Chris feels positive about how they deal with their
unique ethnic/cultural backgrounds.
Olympia feels very positive about how they deal with
their unique ethnic/cultural backgrounds, and

the items in this category. Unique ethnic/cultural
backgrounds coming together can add richness to life.
Couples with different backgrounds can strengthen
their relationship by being respectful, interested and
accepting of one another.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Chris
Olympia
1 1 - Differences in our ethnic/cultural background can
sometimes strain our relationship.

1 1 - I am concerned about what others think of our
ethnic/cultural differences.
4 5 + It is very important to me that we find traditions,
rituals, and holidays we can both feel
good about observing.
1 1 - My family is concerned about our ethnic/cultural
differences.
5 5 + We both agree that our different ethnic/cultural
heritages are positive for our
relationship and add richness to our lives.
5 5 + We both have a good understanding of the roles,
traditions, and rituals associated with
one another's ethnic/cultural background.
5 5 + We support each other in maintaining our own
ethnic/cultural identity.
Disagreement (30%)
1 5 + Even though we come from different ethnic/cultural
backgrounds, we share similar
beliefs and values.
2 5 + My partner is very respectful toward my
ethnic/cultural background.
4 2 + We have discussed the challenges associated with
raising children in a family with
diverse ethnic/cultural backgrounds.
Indecision (0%)

Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Mapping Your Relationship,
Daily Dialogue and Daily Compliments
21
Couple Map
OVERLY
FLEXIBLE
VERY
FLEXIBLE
CHRIS
FLEXIBLE
SOMEWHAT
FLEXIBLE
INFLEXIBLE OLYMPIA
DIS-
CONNECTED
SOMEWHAT
CONNECTED

CONNECTED VERY
CONNECTED
OVERLY
CONNECTED
Couple Closeness is defined as the emotional closeness one
feels toward their partner. On this dimension,
relationships can range from disconnected to overly connected.
Chris describes this relationship as Very Connected. Very
connected couples often have a good balance of
closeness and separateness, which reflects an interdependent
relationship. Healthy marriages foster
connection, but also leave room for each partner to pursue
individual interests and activities.
Olympia describes this relationship as Somewhat Connected.
These individuals often feel somewhat
disconnected or emotionally distant from their partner. Less
connected partners are often more independent
from one another. They need to guard against allowing their
relationship to get too disconnected.
Couple Flexibility is defined as the ability to adjust to changes
in roles and leadership in response to life's
demands. On this dimension, relationships can range from
inflexible to overly flexible.
Chris feels the relationship is Very Flexible, with a good
balance between stability and change. They may
often share decision making and are able to adjust to ongoing
issues. Most couples function well with this level
of flexibility.

Olympia feels the relationship is Inflexible, resisting changes in
leadership or roles. These relationships need
to guard against becoming too rigid with unbending roles and
structure. Some structure is good, but marriage
requires the ability to be flexible in order to remain healthy and
balanced while meeting the demands of busy
schedules.
Couple Discussion: Review the closeness and flexibility
results. It can be helpful to discuss what is positive
about the current levels of closeness and flexibility. It can also
be helpful to discuss any desired changes
(increases or decreases) in closeness and flexibility.
Closeness Exercises, Flexibility Exercises
22
Family Map
OVERLY
FLEXIBLE
VERY
FLEXIBLE
OLYMPIA CHRIS
FLEXIBLE
SOMEWHAT
FLEXIBLE

INFLEXIBLE
DIS-
CONNECTED
SOMEWHAT
CONNECTED
CONNECTED VERY
CONNECTED
OVERLY
CONNECTED
Family Closeness is defined as the emotional closeness one felt
growing up in their family of origin. On this
dimension, family relationships can range from disconnected to
overly connected.
Chris grew up in a Connected family. Individuals in these
families generally feel close to one another and
have a good balance of closeness and separateness.
Olympia grew up in a family that was Somewhat Connected.
These individuals experienced some family
closeness, with plenty of freedom to be an individual and pursue
outside relationships.
Family Flexibility is defined as a family's ability to adjust to
changes in roles, leadership and discipline. On
this dimension, family relationships can range from inflexible to
overly flexible.

Both individuals experienced families of origin that felt Very
Flexible. These families are generally open to
change and somewhat loosely organized. Leadership and
decision-making are shared, and roles and routines
are adjusted as needed.
Couple Discussion: review family of origin closeness and
flexibility results. Discuss family closeness and
flexibility with actual examples such as observing a holiday,
celebrating a birthday, or handling discipline.
What does each person want to bring from their family into the
current relationship? What does each person
want to leave behind?
23
SCOPE Personality Scales
The SCOPE Personality assessment consists of five dimensions
based on the Five Factor Model of Personality.
The five dimensions and the couple's results are described
below. Review the results of all five dimensions
rather than focusing on just one or two traits where individuals
score high or low.
Compare where the Personality SCOPE results are similar and
where they are different. Discuss the advantages
and drawbacks to each.

PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: SCOPE out Your Personality
Social (S)
This trait reflects preference for, and behavior in social
situations.
Chris scored High on the Social dimension. These individuals
are generally outgoing. Social extroverts enjoy
being with people and are often full of energy. They may be
enthusiastic and action-oriented. They often enjoy
their ability to make friends and acquaintances easily and do not
prefer solitude. In groups they like to talk,
assert themselves, and may often be the center of attention. If
out of balance, they could appear to be
attention seeking or shallow.
Olympia scored Low on being Social. These individuals tend to
be reserved or introverted. Social introverts
often lack the exuberance and activity levels of extroverts. They
may be low-key, deliberate, and less
connected socially. They often prefer to be alone or with just a
few close friends. These individuals likely feel re-
energized after spending time alone or in small, intimate
settings, as opposed to large groups or parties. If out
of balance, they could appear reclusive or cut off from others.
Couple Discussion:
Couples with one person scoring higher than the other will need
to communicate openly with one another about
attending social events and getting together with others. One
person receives energy from socializing with

others, while the other prefers more privacy and alone time.
This difference may become more apparent when
they are experiencing greater amounts of stress. They can avoid
unnecessary conflict in their relationship by
checking it out with each other before saying "yes" or "no" to
making social plans.
24
Change (C)
This trait reflects openness to change, flexibility, and interest in
new experiences.
Both individuals scored High on Change. These individuals will
tend to be flexible, unconventional, and very
open to new experiences. They are open to change, and often
have a broad range of interests. They thrive on
developing new and creative solutions to problems, even when a
tried and true method might work just as well.
When out of balance, they may appear to be too interested in
new ideas and adventures. Others may wonder
why they are constantly trying to reinvent the wheel.
Couple Discussion:
Both individuals have a lot in common in terms of flexibility
and being open to new experiences. They likely
enjoy frequent change and variety in their lives. They may need
to be careful not to create too much change,

leading to increased stress in their lives. They may also differ
on how much change they are each comfortable
with in various areas of their relationship.
Organized (O)
This trait reflects how organized and persistent a person is in
their daily life and work.
It also reflects persistence in pursuing goals.
Both individuals scored in the High range on this personality
dimension. These individuals are methodical, and
well-organized. They tend to be persistent and reliable and
place great emphasis on this type of behavior. They
are quite goal-oriented, and have a well thought-out plan as they
strive to achieve their goals. When out of
balance, they could be perceived as a perfectionist or too
driven. Others may even see them as being too
organized or controlling in their approach to life.
Couple Discussion:
Both individuals are very detailed and goal-oriented. They will
likely have the discipline to accomplish a lot of
long-term goals as a couple. These individuals value
consistency and orderliness in many aspects of their life.
Sharing this tendency as a couple may help them communicate
more effectively. Potential drawbacks for
couples who both score high on this dimension include
becoming overly driven to achieve their goals and putting
tasks before relationships. Their desire for consistency and
planning may be challenged by unplanned stressful
situations or life changes that surprise them.

25
Pleasing (P)
This trait reflects how considerate and cooperative one is in
their interactions with
others.
Chris scored High on the Pleasing dimension. These individuals
will be trusting, friendly, and cooperative. They
value getting along with others, are considerate, and helpful.
Optimistic about people, they view others as
basically honest, decent, and trustworthy. When out of balance,
they may sacrifice their own feelings and
opinions to please others. Some acquaintances may even see
them as a push-over. In their partner relationship,
they may find it difficult to ask for what they need.
Olympia scored in the Average range on Pleasing. These
individuals can be warm and cooperative, but
occasionally somewhat competitive, stubborn, or assertive.
When they feel their rights are violated, they are
able to respond and stand up for themselves. They might
occasionally find themselves arguing about little
matters, but generally know how to get along well with others
and are well liked.
Couple Discussion:
Couples with one person scoring higher than the other may need

to practice their communication and conflict
resolution skills. One partner may need to develop their ability
to honestly express both positive and negative
opinions and feelings. In so doing, they can allow the more
assertive partner the opportunity to truly understand
how they feel. The other partner will benefit from working to be
a good listener. Looking for the positives in each
other's personality styles can strengthen the relationship.
Emotionally Steady (E)
This trait reflects the tendency to stay relaxed and calm even
when faced with stress,
versus those who are more reactive to stress in their life.
Chris scored High in the Emotionally Steady trait. These
individuals tend to be more relaxed, calm and less
prone to distress. They are likely to be emotionally stable even
when confronted with stressful situations. At
times, they can even appear unfeeling or unflappable. They
often consider life’s stressors to be minor passing
annoyances and have an ability to remain composed in
situations that others find difficult.
Olympia scored in the Average range on Emotionally Steady.
These individuals are generally calm and able to
cope with stress. Others likely see them as capable of handling
the everyday stressors that face most people.
When under high levels of stress, they could experience
negative feelings of anxiety, depression or anger, but
are generally emotionally steady and in control of their life.
Couple Discussion:

Couples with one person scoring higher than the other may
experience occasional challenges. In times of stress,
the more emotionally calm person may need to take control and
help the other feel less frustrated. The one
experiencing anxiety, anger or sadness might wonder why their
partner doesn't feel the same way. They will
need to remember to work with one another's differences rather
than attempting to change each other.
Flexibility, problem solving and communication are key skills
to help them deal with stress as a couple.
2
PREPARE/ENRICH
Customized Version
Facilitator: John T. Risse Date Completed: 12/31/2012
Couple Names: walter
pam
Couple Login Code: N8XJBH-
44M9J4

Customizations:
Married All Children Over 18
Protestant One or Both Over 55
This Facilitator's Report is not to be given to the couple. It is
for the Facilitator's use only.
Please print a copy of the Couple's Report for the couple.
Contents
Report Section Page
Background Information 3
Couple Typology / Strength & Growth Areas 4
Overall Satisfaction & Idealistic Distortion 5
Relationship Dynamics 6
Commitment & Abuse 7
Personal Stress Profile 8
Core Relationship Categories 9-17
Additional Customized Categories 18-20
Couple Map 21
SCOPE Personality Scales 22-24
PREPARE/ENRICH

© Copyright, 2008 - 2012
Life Innovations, Inc.
3
Background Information
Question
walter
pam
Gender Male Female
Age Range 51 - 60 51 - 60
Ethnic Background More than one ethnicity Caucasian
Education Completed Finished High School Some
College/TechnicalSchool
Religious Affiliation Protestant (Christian) Protestant
(Christian)
Which category best describes your
area of employment? Military or Government
Professional, Business, or
Financial Services

Role at work Executive Self-Employed
Employment Status (paid) Full-time Part-time
Individual Yearly Income $75,000 - $99,999 $20,000 -
$29,999
What is your birth position in your
family? Second Second
No. children in your family Four Five or more
What is your current living
arrangement?
spouse
spouse
Where do you live? Suburban Area Suburban Area
How long have you and your spouse
been married? 31-40 years 31-40 years
No. children you have Two Two
Number of previous marriages 0 - never married before 0 -
never married before
Raised by Both Biological Parents Both Biological Parents

4
Couple Typology (Core Scales)
Conflicted Couple Type
Based on the PCA scores across the core categories, this couple
is best categorized as a Conflicted Couple. They disagree and
have
concerns about many aspects of their relationship. Conflicted
couples often struggle to communicate well with one another
and have
difficulty resolving issues. They should concentrate on
improving their communication and conflict resolution skills.
Based on past research with thousands of couples,
PREPARE/ENRICH categorizes couple relationships into one of
five common
relational patterns:
Vitalized couples are typically most satisfied with their
relationship, skilled in communication and conflict resolution.
Harmonious couples also enjoy high levels of satisfaction
across most areas of their relationship.
Conventional couples are often highly committed to one
another, but not as skilled in communication or conflict
resolution.
Conflicted couples have a lower level of satisfaction and often
struggle with many areas of their relationship.
Devitalized couples have the lowest level of satisfaction and
have growth areas in almost all aspects of their relationship.
Strength and Growth Areas

Levels of Positive Couple Agreement Core and Customized
Scales
Relationship Strengths (PCA=80 - 100%)
Areas with High Couple Agreement
Role Transitions
Spiritual Beliefs
Possible Relationship Strengths (PCA=50 - 70%)
Areas with Moderately High Couple Agreement
Health Issues
Intergenerational Issues
Leisure Activities
Possible Growth Areas (PCA=30 - 40%)
Areas with Moderately Low Couple Agreement
Conflict Resolution
Family & Friends
Sexual Relationship
Growth Areas (PCA=0 - 20%)
Areas with Low Couple Agreement
Communication
Forgiveness

5
Overall Satisfaction
The graphs below plot the Overall Satisfaction for each
individual and the couple based on the Core Scales.
Idealistic Distortion
Idealistic Distortion measures the extent to which a person
distorts their relationship in a positive direction.
Both individuals may be somewhat realistic, but
sometimes deny or minimize problems in their
relationship.
Interpretation of Idealism
A high score (above 65%) indicates that a person
describes their relationship in an overly positive
manner and sees it through "rose colored" glasses.
A lower score (below 40%) indicates a more realistic
approach to describing the relationship.
Revised Individual Scores
In order to provide more accurate individual scores
for each category, each person's Individual Scores

are corrected based on how high their score is on
Idealistic Distortion. Revised Individual scores are
graphed and defined in many of the following
relationship categories.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
Idealistic Distortion Items
2 3 Every new thing I have learned about my partner has
pleased me.
4 2 I have never regretted my relationship with my partner.
4 2 My partner always gives me the love and affection I need.
3 2 My partner and I understand each other completely.
2 2 My partner completely understands and sympathizes with
my every mood.
5 4 My partner has all the qualities I've always wanted in a

mate.
2 2 We are as happy as any couple could possibly be.
6
Relationship Dynamics
Assertiveness is the ability to express one's feelings and ask for
what one wants.
walter: High
walter is good at expressing thoughts and feelings, and is able
to ask for what he/she wants in therelationship.
pam: Average
pam is generally good at expressing thoughts and feelings, and
is sometimes able to ask for what he/shewants in the
relationship.
Self Confidence focuses on how good one feels about oneself
and their ability to accomplish what they want
in life.
Both: High
Both individuals have a high level of Self Confidence and
positive self-esteem. They both feel good abouttheir ability to
effectively accomplish what they want in life.
Avoidance is the tendency to minimize issues and reluctance to
deal with issues directly.

walter: Low
walter scored low in Avoidance and will generally be open to
identifying and discussing issues in theirrelationship.
pam: Average
pam scored in the moderate range and will sometimes
minimize problems and may occasionally bereluctant to deal
directly with issues.
Partner Dominance focuses on how much one feels controlled or
dominated by their partner.
walter: Very Low
walter scored in the very low range in Partner Dominance and
does not feel his/her partner is dominant,controlling, or
interested in managing his/her life.
pam: High
pam scored in the high range in Partner Dominance and may
often feel his/her partner is dominant,controlling, or interested
in managing his/her life.
7
Commitment
Strongly Disagree
1

Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
Questions
walter
pam
I am committed to making our
marriage last a lifetime. Strongly Agree Strongly Agree
I am open to doing whatever it takes
to improve our marriage. Agree Strongly Agree
I believe my partner is committed to
making our marriage last a lifetime. Strongly Agree Strongly
Agree
I believe my partner is open to doing
whatever it takes to improve our
marriage.

Agree Agree
Abuse
Never
1
Seldom
2
Sometimes
3
Often
4
Very Often
5
Questions
walter
pam
Have your parents ever had problems
with alcohol or drug use? Never Never
Have you ever had problems with
alcohol or drug use? Never Seldom

Has your partner ever had problems
with alcohol or drug use? Never Never
Have you ever observed abuse
between your parents? Never Never
Were you ever abused by your
parents? Never Seldom
Have you ever been abused by your
current partner? Never Sometimes
Have you ever been abused by anyone
else? Never Never
Do you struggle with unhealthy sexual
behavior or use of pornography? Seldom Never
Does your partner struggle with
unhealthy sexual behavior or use of
pornography?
Never Sometimes
8
Personal Stress Profile
The Personal Stress Profile examines each individual's personal
stress level over the last year. Stress levels
are based on responses to 25 common sources of personal stress.

walter has very few frustrations or challenges that
are causing personal stress. When stressful situations
are encountered, it is likely that effective coping
strategies are being used to manage the frustrations
of daily life.
pam appears to have a high level of personal stress
which can create many demands on a person’s time
and energy. The stress may also contribute to
problems with physical, relational, and emotional
health. It will be helpful to learn and make use of
effective coping resources to better manage personal
stress.
How often have these issues created stress for you?
Never
1
Seldom
2
Sometimes
3
Often
4
Very Often
5
walter

Top 10 Stressors
Very Often
Lack of sleep
Sometimes
Eating too much
Feeling overweight
Lack of exercise
pam
Top 10 Stressors
Very Often
Owe too much money (credit cards, loans, etc.)
Often
Eating too much
Feeling overweight
Your own health
Your spouse
Sometimes

Lack of exercise
Lack of sleep
Lack of time for family
Your child/children
Help this couple compare their lists of top stressors. It is not
uncommon for their lists to be somewhat
different. Take a moment to help them discuss where things are
similar and where they are different. Key
resources for coping with stress include healthy communication,
conflict resolution, flexibility, and closeness.
Issues, Balancing your Priorities
9
Communication
The Communication category measures how couples feel about
the quality and quantity of communication in
their relationship. It explores how they share feelings,
understand, and listen to one another.
walter feels generally good about their family
communication, but has some concerns about sharing
feelings and listening to each other.

pam has some concerns about the quality of their
family communication and has difficulty identifying
strengths in this area.
below. By learning and practicing new communication
skills such as assertiveness and active listening, they
can improve their family communication.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam

4 4 + I can express my true feelings to my partner.
1 2 - My partner sometimes makes comments that put me
down.
Disagreement (50%)
2 4 - At times it is hard for me to ask my partner for what I
want.
2 4 - It is difficult for me to share negative feelings with my
partner.
4 2 - My partner often doesn't understand how I feel.
2 5 - Sometimes I have trouble believing everything my
partner tells me.
2 5 - When we are having a problem, my partner often
refuses to talk about it.
Indecision (20%)
3 2 + I am very satisfied with how my partner and I talk with
each other.
3 3 + My partner is a very good listener.
Special Focus (10%)
4 4 - I wish my partner were more willing to share his/her
feelings with me.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Creating a Wish List using
Assertiveness & Active Listening, Daily Dialogue
and Daily Compliments

10
Conflict Resolution
The Conflict Resolution category looks at a couple's ability to
discuss and resolve differences. It measures how
effectively couples share opinions, ideas, and feelings, even
during times of conflict.
Both individuals feel generally good about their conflict
resolution, but have concerns about some aspects of
their ability to discuss and resolve differences.
below. By learning and practicing new skills such as the
10 Steps for Resolving Conflict, they can improve their
relationship.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided

3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
4 4 + Even during disagreements, I can share my feelings and
ideas with my partner.
2 2 - I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.
2 2 - To avoid hurting my partner's feelings during an
argument, I tend to say nothing.
Disagreement (20%)
4 2 - At times my partner does not take our disagreements
seriously.
3 5 - My partner and I have different ideas about the best
way to solve our disagreements.
Indecision (20%)
3 4 - At times I feel some of our differences never get
resolved.
4 3 - To end an argument, I tend to give in too quickly.
Special Focus (30%)

4 4 - Sometimes we have serious disputes over unimportant
issues.
4 4 - When we argue, I usually end up feeling responsible
for the problem.
2 2 + When we discuss problems, my partner understands my
opinions and ideas.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: 10 Steps for Resolving
Conflict, How to Take a Time-Out, Seeking and
Granting Forgiveness
11
The Partner Style & Habits category measures each person's
satisfaction with the personal characteristics and
habits of their partner. It looks at each person's relationship
style and habits as expressed in their behavior.
walter feels generally good about the personality traits,
habits, and behaviors of his/her partner, but has some
concerns that may need to be discussed.
pam has some concerns about the personality traits,
habits, and behaviors of his/her partner.

below. Reinforce healthy communication and problem
solving skills as they talk about this difficult area.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
2 2 - I am sometimes upset or embarrassed by my partner's
behavior.
2 1 - I am unhappy with some of my partner's personality
characteristics or personal habits.

Disagreement (50%)
2 4 - I am sometimes concerned that my partner appears to
be unhappy and withdrawn.
2 4 - I wish my partner were less critical or negative about
some topics.
2 4 - I wish my partner were more reliable and followed
through on more things.
2 5 - Sometimes I am concerned about my partner's temper.
2 4 - Sometimes my partner is too stubborn.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (30%)
4 4 - My partner has some personal habits that bother me.
4 5 - Sometimes I have difficulty dealing with my partner's
moodiness.
4 4 - Sometimes my partner seems to be too controlling.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Assertiveness and Active
Listening, 10 Steps for Resolving Conflict, How to
Take a Time-Out
12
The Financial Management category looks at having realistic
financial plans and agreement in the area of
finances. It explores opinions about spending habits, savings,

debt, and making financial decisions.
Both individuals feel generally good about how finances
are being handled, but may have some concerns about
Indecision, or Special Focus items. Many couples report
finances as the single biggest problem in their
relationship. Determining a budget, savings plan, and
financial goals are proactive ways to avoid later stress
and conflict.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5

walter
pam
2 2 - I am concerned about who is responsible for our
money.
2 2 - I am concerned that my partner is more of a spender
than I am.
1 2 - It bothers me that I have to seek my partner's approval
before spending money.
2 2 - Sometimes I wish my partner were more careful about
spending money.
4 4 + We do a good job of managing our financial debts.
4 4 + We have developed a financial plan for our marriage
and/or retirement.
2 2 - We have different ideas on how to invest money.
Disagreement (20%)
2 4 + I am satisfied with our decisions about how much
money we should save.
4 2 + We usually agree on how to spend our money.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (10%)
4 4 - I have some concerns about whether our income will
be sufficient.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Financial Goals, Budget

Worksheet, The Meaning of Money
13
Leisure Activities
The Leisure Activities category measures a couple's satisfaction
with the amount and quality of leisure time
spent together. It looks at similarities in interests, and
satisfaction with the balance of time spent together and
apart.
walter feels generally good about their leisure
activities, but has some concerns about the amount
and quality of their shared interests.
pam feels positive about their leisure activities and the
amount and quality of their shared interests.
Indecision, or Special Focus items. A balanced level of
shared interests can help them increase the quality of
their relationship.
Strongly Disagree

1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
2 1 - I am concerned that my partner has too many activities
or hobbies.
2 1 - I sometimes feel pressured to participate in activities
my partner enjoys.
4 4 + It is easy for us to make new couple friends.
4 5 + My partner and I enjoy the same interests and
recreational activities.
4 4 + We find it easy to think of things to do together.
Disagreement (30%)
4 2 - As a couple, I wish we did a better job of balancing
time together and time apart.
4 2 - I wish my partner had more time and energy for
recreation with me.

4 2 - My idea of a good time differs somewhat from my
partner's.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (20%)
4 4 - I wish my partner and I shared more activities that we
both found enjoyable.
4 4 - My partner's activities (television, computer, sports,
etc.) interfere with our timetogether.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: The Dating Exercise
14
Sexual Relationship
The Sexual Relationship category measures a couple's
satisfaction with their sexual relationship and the level of
affection expressed. This category also explores their interest
in sex and ability to discuss sexual issues as a
couple.
Both individuals feel less satisfied with their sex and
affection and may have concerns about how they deal
with sexual issues.

below. This can be a difficult topic for couples to
manage and discuss openly. Good communication skills
can help them talk openly about their affection and
sexual relationship.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
5 4 + I am comfortable talking with my partner about sexual
issues.

2 2 - I am concerned that my partner is interested in
viewing sexually explicit material.
4 4 + I am satisfied with our openness in discussing sexual
topics.
Disagreement (20%)
3 1 - I am concerned that my partner's interest in sex might
be different from mine.
2 4 + We are both able to enjoy intimacy without intercourse.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (50%)
2 2 + I am completely satisfied with the amount of affection
my partner gives me.
5 4 - I am concerned about the ways our sexual relationship
is changing as we age.
4 5 - I wish my partner were more affectionate and/or
sexual.
1 1 + Our sexual relationship is satisfying and fulfilling to
me.
2 2 + We try to find ways to keep our sexual relationship
interesting and enjoyable.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: The Expression of Intimacy
15
Family & Friends

The Family & Friends category measures relationship
satisfaction with relatives and friends. It looks at each
individual's opinions of the other's family and friends, as well
as the level of influence and/or interference
experienced from these relationships.
walter feels generally good about how they relate to
family and friends, but may be aware of 1-2 issues that
need to be discussed.
pam feels positive about how they relate to one
another's family and friends.
below. Family and friends can provide great
encouragement and support for a relationship, but they
can sometimes interfere and undermine a relationship
as well. Healthy boundaries with family and friends are
important to finding balance in this area.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided

3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
2 1 - I am worried that accepting financial assistance or
advice from our families will causeproblems for us.
4 4 + I enjoy spending time with my partner's family.
4 4 + I really enjoy being with most of my partner's friends.
1 2 - My partner is too involved with or influenced by
his/her family.
Disagreement (40%)
1 4 - I have concerns when my partner spends time with
friends or co-workers of theopposite sex.
2 5 + My partner gets along well with most of my friends.
3 1 - One or both of our families cause trouble in our
marriage.
4 2 - Sometimes my partner's friends or family interfere with
our relationship.
Indecision (20%)
3 2 - I wish we had more friendships with other married
couples.

3 4 + My family (parents/siblings) accepts me completely and
respects the decisions I make.
Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Couple and Family Map:
Balancing your Relationship, Practical Tips to
Balance your Relationship
16
Role Transitions
The Role Transitions category measures satisfaction with how
roles and responsibilities are handled in the
relationship. More specifically, this category looks at how
older couples feel about managing role transitions
associated with retirement.
walter feels positive about how roles are managed in
their relationship and is optimistic about handling
future role transitions.
pam feels generally good about managing
responsibilities and role transitions in their relationship,
but may be aware of one or two issues that need
attention.

items to discuss. Congratulate them for finding ways to
share and effectively deal with household chores,
decision-making, and role transitions.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
2 2 - After retirement, I'm concerned about how we will
adjust to spending more timetogether.

2 2 - As our lifestyle changes, I am concerned I will have
more role adjustments than mypartner.
2 2 - As our lifestyle changes, I worry that power struggles
may arise.
2 2 - Decisions about our lifestyle are made mostly by my
partner.
1 2 - I am concerned about doing more than my share of the
household tasks.
4 4 + I am happy with the flexibility we have in our roles
and responsibilities.
4 4 + My partner would not make an important decision
without consulting me.
4 4 + We participate equally in setting new goals.
Disagreement (10%)
4 2 + I am happy with how we share leadership in our
relationship.
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (10%)
2 2 + We are flexible and adjust well to changes in our
relationship.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Sharing Roles
17
Spiritual Beliefs

The Spiritual Beliefs category measures how satisfied or
involved couples are with the practice and expression of
spiritual beliefs in their relationship. This category looks at
similarities in spiritual beliefs and whether they are a
resource or a source of tension.
walter feels very positive about the practice and
expression of spiritual beliefs in their relationship and
pam feels positive about the practice and expression of
spiritual beliefs in their relationship.
items to discuss. A shared spiritual foundation can be a
great resource for couples, helping them increase their
commitment and connection.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided

3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
5 5 + I believe our marriage must include active
participation in a church.
5 5 + My faith is the foundation for the commitment I have to
my partner.
1 2 - My partner and I disagree about our spiritual beliefs.
5 5 + Prayer is an important part of my daily life.
5 4 + We both support the practice of giving a portion of our
income to the church.
4 4 + We have discussed the importance of our Christian
faith.
4 5 + We rely on our faith in God during difficult times.
4 4 + We share very similar spiritual beliefs.
Disagreement (20%)
4 2 + My partner and I feel closer because of our Christian
faith.
2 5 - Spiritual differences cause some tension in our
relationship.

Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (0%)
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Your Spiritual Journey
18
Forgiveness
The Forgiveness category measures a couple's perception of
their ability to forgive one another following a
conflict, betrayal, or hurt. It looks at how well they request and
grant forgiveness in their relationship.
walter feels generally good about their ability to let go
of past hurts, but has some concerns about requesting
or granting forgiveness.
pam has some concerns about their ability to request
and grant forgiveness in their relationship.
below. Forgiveness is a key ingredient for working
through issues, hurts and disappointments. Teach this

skill along with communication and conflict resolution.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
2 2 - My partner has done or said some things I may never
be able to forgive.
Disagreement (50%)
4 2 + I feel closer to my partner after we work through a
disappointment.
1 4 - I find it difficult to trust my partner because of his/her
past actions.
2 4 - My partner has a hard time admitting that he/she is at

fault.
2 4 - My partner tends to hold a grudge for a long time.
4 2 + We do a good job of resolving issues and moving
forward.
Indecision (30%)
4 3 - In our relationship we forgive, but we don’t forget.
3 2 + My partner does a good job of apologizing and asking
for forgiveness.
3 4 - Tension remains in our relationship, even after we
work through hurts anddisappointments.
Special Focus (10%)
4 4 - My partner has a hard time letting go of past hurts and
disappointments.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Seeking and Granting
Forgiveness, How to Take a Time-Out
19
Intergenerational Issues
The Intergenerational Issues category explores the challenges
middle-aged couples face as they are positioned
as a resource to their adult children and/or aging parents. More
specifically, this category looks at how time,
attention, and assistance are balanced.

Both individuals feel somewhat satisfied with the time
and resources provided to their adult children and/or
parents, buy may have some concerns.
the items in this category. For couples with adult
children and/or aging parents, the demands on their
time and resources can be quite challenging. It is
important to continue nourishing their own marriage in
the midst of this busy life stage.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree
2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam

2 2 - Caring for our children and/or parents requires more
resources than we prefer.
2 1 - I am concerned about staying connected to our
children and grandchildren as we growolder.
4 4 + I am satisfied with how we balance our time as a
couple and with our families.
2 2 - I feel that our children and/or parents require a great
deal of attention.
2 2 - Our children and/or parents expect too much assistance
from us.
4 4 + We have discussed our changing roles as parents and
grandparents.
4 4 + We have talked to each other and/or our children about
inheritance.
Disagreement (0%)
Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (30%)
4 4 - It has been a challenge to help our adult children
achieve their own independence(financial, housing, etc.).
2 2 + We are in agreement about offering housing, money,
etc., to our children.
1 2 + We are satisfied with how close and connected we are
to other family members.
Issues, Balancing Your Priorities, Defining Personal,

Couple, and Family Goals
20
Health Issues
The Health Issues category explores relationship challenges
faced as couples grow older. More specifically, this
category looks at attitudes towards having a long, healthy and
active life together.
Both individuals feel generally positive about health
issues, but may have some concerns about aging.
Indecision, or Special Focus items. Maintaining a
healthy and active lifestyle becomes more important as
couples age and impacts their ability to enjoy a long
and healthy life together.
Strongly Disagree
1
Disagree

2
Undecided
3
Agree
4
Strongly Agree
5
walter
pam
4 4 + As we age, my partner and I will be supportive and
caring to each other.
2 2 - I am concerned about becoming dependent on my
partner or he/she on me.
5 5 + I am looking forward to growing old with my partner.
2 2 - I wish my partner would take better care of
himself/herself.
4 5 + We both feel it is important to have an active and
healthy lifestyle.
4 4 + We generally have good health habits.
Disagreement (30%)
4 2 - I am concerned that my partner's health will be a
problem over the years.
5 2 + I feel confident that we will have a long and healthy
life together.
2 4 - My partner has some unhealthy habits that concern me.

Indecision (0%)
Special Focus (10%)
4 4 - As we age, I worry about maintaining the same quality
of life.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: Daily Dialogue and Daily
Compliments, Defining Personal, Couple and Family
Goals, The Dating Exercise
21
Couple Map
OVERLY
FLEXIBLE
VERY
FLEXIBLE WALTER
FLEXIBLE PAM
SOMEWHAT
FLEXIBLE
INFLEXIBLE
DIS-
CONNECTED

SOMEWHAT
CONNECTED CONNECTED
VERY
CONNECTED
OVERLY
CONNECTED
Couple Closeness is defined as the emotional closeness one
feels toward their partner. On this dimension,
relationships can range from disconnected to overly connected.
Both individuals described their relationship as Connected,
meaning they experience a healthy balance of
"We" and "I", or closeness and separateness, which reflects an
interdependent relationship. Most healthy
marriages not only foster connection, but also leave room for
each partner to continue to grow and develop as
individuals.
Couple Flexibility is defined as the ability to adjust to changes
in roles and leadership in response to life's
demands. On this dimension, relationships can range from
inflexible to overly flexible.
walter feels the relationship is Very Flexible, with a good
balance between stability and change. They may
often share decision making and are able to adjust to ongoing
issues. Most couples function well with this level
of flexibility.
pam feels the relationship is Flexible. Relationships in the
flexible range are open to change when necessary,

with a good balance between stability and change. Leadership
and decision-making are equally shared, and
roles can adjust to life's demands. This is a healthy balance that
most couples enjoy.
Couple Discussion: Review the closeness and flexibility
results. It can be helpful to discuss what is positive
about the current levels of closeness and flexibility. It can also
be helpful to discuss any desired changes
(increases or decreases) in closeness and flexibility.
22
The SCOPE Personality assessment consists of five dimensions
based on the Five Factor Model of Personality.
The five dimensions and the couple's results are described
below. Review the results of all five dimensions
rather than focusing on just one or two traits where individuals
score high or low.
Compare where the Personality SCOPE results are similar and
where they are different. Discuss the advantages
and drawbacks to each.
PREPARE/ENRICH Exercises: SCOPE out Your Personality

Social (S)
This trait reflects preference for, and behavior in social
situations.
walter scored Low on being Social. These individuals tend to be
reserved or introverted. Social introverts often
lack the exuberance and activity levels of extroverts. They may
be low-key, deliberate, and less connected
socially. They often prefer to be alone or with just a few close
friends. These individuals likely feel re-energized
after spending time alone or in small, intimate settings, as
opposed to large groups or parties. If out of balance,
they could appear reclusive or cut off from others.
pam scored High on the Social dimension. These individuals are
generally outgoing. Social extroverts enjoy
being with people and are often full of energy. They may be
enthusiastic and action-oriented. They often enjoy
their ability to make friends and acquaintances easily and do not
prefer solitude. In groups they like to talk,
assert themselves, and may often be the center of attention. If
out of balance, they could appear to be
attention seeking or shallow.
Couple Discussion:
attending social events and getting together with others. One
person receives energy from socializing with
others, while the other prefers more privacy and alone time.
This difference may become more apparent when
they are experiencing greater amounts of stress. They can avoid

unnecessary conflict in their relationship by
checking it out with each other before saying "yes" or "no" to
making social plans.
23
Change (C)
This trait reflects openness to change, flexibility, and interest in
new experiences.
walter scored Low on Change. These individuals are more down
to earth, practical in nature, and less
interested in new ideas and experiences. Change may be
difficult for them and increase their level of stress.
These individuals prefer the familiar and things they are
accustomed to. Their attitudes are likely to be more
conventional or traditional. When out of balance, they could
appear rigid or closed off to new experiences.
pam scored High on Change. These individuals will tend to be
flexible, unconventional, and very open to new
experiences. They are open to change, and often have a broad
range of interests. They thrive on developing
new and creative solutions to problems, even when a tried and
true method might work just as well. When out
of balance, they may appear to be too interested in new ideas
and adventures. Others may wonder why they
are constantly trying to reinvent the wheel.

Couple Discussion:
One person scoring higher than the other may represent a case
of being attracted to their opposite. The more
practical person is often attracted to the other's free thinking
and open attitudes. Conversely, the more open
person may recognize the value of their partner's steady
approach to life. There may be times when the other's
attitudes, preferences or behavior will be challenging or
frustrating. They'll want to remember to work with
differences rather than attempt to change or criticize one
another. Building off each other’s strengths can help
them appreciate their differences.
Organized (O)
This trait reflects how organized and persistent a person is in
their daily life and work.
It also reflects persistence in pursuing goals.
walter scored in the Average range on this personality
dimension. These individuals are generally organized.
They are often dependable and goal-oriented, but can also be
flexible, setting aside work and agendas. They
know how to get organized, but it is not always a high priority.
Their home and workspace are likely somewhat
cluttered, but they know where things are located.
pam scored in the High range on this personality dimension.
These individuals are methodical, and well-
organized. They tend to be persistent and reliable and place
great emphasis on this type of behavior. They are
quite goal-oriented, and have a well thought-out plan as they

strive to achieve their goals. When out of balance,
they could be perceived as a perfectionist or too driven. Others
may even see them as being too organized or
controlling in their approach to life.
Couple Discussion:
their goals, roles, and expectations. It is likely that their
partner’s tendencies may be endearing at times, but can
also become annoying, distracting, or even maddening when
stressful events come their way. They can balance
one another out and avoid the extremes of perfectionism versus
sloppiness. Potential challenges include
different expectations for housekeeping, relationship roles, and
long-term goals. They can work with their
strengths and allow the more organized individual to handle
necessary details. But they will also need to guard
against expecting the organized individual to function more like
a "parent" and less like a “partner.”
24
Pleasing (P)
This trait reflects how considerate and cooperative one is in
their interactions with
others.

walter scored Low on Pleasing. These individuals tend to be
very assertive and less cooperative. They may
express their anger directly, and could be seen as competitive
and proud. They may experience high levels of
conflict in their partner relationship unless they have learned
how to balance their assertiveness. These
individuals are less likely to be taken advantage of and can
stand up for themselves. When out of balance, they
could appear skeptical, unfriendly, or even controlling. They
may sometimes find that others are intimidated by
their direct approach.
pam scored in the Average range on Pleasing. These individuals
can be warm and cooperative, but
occasionally somewhat competitive, stubborn, or assertive.
When they feel their rights are violated, they are
able to respond and stand up for themselves. They might
occasionally find themselves arguing about little
matters, but generally know how to get along well with others
and are well liked.
Couple Discussion:
Couples with one person scoring higher than the other may need
to practice their communication and conflict
resolution skills. One partner may need to develop their ability
to honestly express both positive and negative
opinions and feelings. In so doing, they can allow the more
assertive partner the opportunity to truly understand
how they feel. The other partner will benefit from working to be
a good listener. Looking for the positives in each
other's personality styles can strengthen the relationship.
Emotionally Steady (E)

This trait reflects the tendency to stay relaxed and calm even
when faced with stress,
versus those who are more reactive to stress in their life.
walter scored Low on Emotionally Steady. These individuals are
more emotionally sensitive and may be easily
upset. They have more difficulty handling stress in their life.
They often don't enjoy new situations, and may
tend to avoid such experiences. They may be prone to anxiety,
anger or depression when faced with stressful
situations. When out of balance, these individuals appear fragile
or overly sensitive. Some acquaintances may
see their reactions as difficult to handle and pull away leaving
them to feel even more isolated.
pam scored High in the Emotionally Steady trait. These
individuals tend to be more relaxed, calm and less
prone to distress. They are likely to be emotionally stable even
when confronted with stressful situations. At
times, they can even appear unfeeling or unflappable. They
often consider life’s stressors to be minor passing
annoyances and have an ability to remain composed in
situations that others find difficult.
Couple Discussion:
Couples with one person scoring higher than the other may
experience occasional challenges. In times of stress,
the more emotionally calm person may need to take control and
help the other feel less frustrated. The one
experiencing anxiety, anger or sadness might wonder why their
partner doesn't feel the same way. They will
need to remember to work with one another's differences rather
than attempting to change each other.

Flexibility, problem solving and communication are key skills
to help them deal with stress as a couple.

COUN 603Case Study InstructionsAbout 15 of premarital couples.docx

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

Similar to COUN 603Case Study InstructionsAbout 15 of premarital couples.docx

Similar to COUN 603Case Study InstructionsAbout 15 of premarital couples.docx (20)

More from faithxdunce63732

More from faithxdunce63732 (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

COUN 603Case Study InstructionsAbout 15 of premarital couples.docx