This paper will describe and reflect on my experiences of researching sexual pleasure with groups of young people as part of my PhD fieldwork. I will use this critical reflection and an analysis of the focus group data to explore some of the ways in which concepts of fun were discussed, silenced and performed by young people in the group context. My analysis will focus on how ‘having fun’ materialised as a strategy for negotiating the shifting gendered moral boundaries around youthful sex, pleasure and desire.

1. ‘What’s serious sex?!’: Finding the fun in sex,
gender and research practices
Ester McGeeney
The Open University

2. about again all amazing an bed being best body both brilliant can care caring climax
comfortable communication condom connecting connection consensual dirty do doing each
emotionally enjoy enjoyable enjoying exciting experienced experimental feel feeling
feelings feels foreplay from fun get girl girlfriend going good great happy have having
healthy him hot i i'm intimate involved its know lasting like long love loves loving
making man me meaningful nice one orgasm orgasms other partner partners
passionate people person pleasurable pleasure relationship right
romantic safe satisfied satisfying sex she someone time trust two very
want what when who willing woman you your
‘You can't have good sex without it
being fun. You can't have serious sex!
(Indiah, Focus Group 4)

3. ‘A genuine discourse of desire
would invite adolescents to
explore what feels good and
bad, desirable and
undesirable, grounded in
experiences, needs, and limits.
Such a discourse would
release females from a
position of receptivity, enable
an analysis of the dialectics of
victimization and pleasure, and
would pose female
adolescents as subjects of
sexuality, initiators as well as
negotiators.’
(Michelle Fine 1988).
‘While it may be unacceptable in most
cultures to suggest that teaching young
people how to achieve sexual pleasure is
valuable, there are increasing indications
—from developing as well as developed
countries—that public health outcomes
may benefit from a greater acceptance of
positive sexual experiences. It is
suggested that greater comfort with one's
own body will enable greater ability to
communicate wishes to others, and to be
less ‘pressured’ into unwanted sexual
relationships.’
(Roger Ingham 2005)
‘Non-commercial voices
regarding sexuality may not be
taking up the challenge of
providing alternative,
potentially more reflective
perspectives that move
beyond the limits of
medicalised discourses and
genuinely embrace a more
holistic treatment of bodies
and desires.’
(Chris Beasley 2008).
‘A discourse of erotics would involve the
acknowledgement that all young people,
whatever their gender and sexual identity
(transgender, intersex, female, male,
lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual or
something else), are sexual subjects who
have a right to experience sexual
pleasure and desire. Including this
discourse within programmes is about
creating spaces in which young people’s
sexual desire and pleasure can be
legitimated, positively integrated and
deemed common place.’ (Louisa Allen
2004)

4. Methods
 Exploratory work January – Feb 2010
5 exploratory focus groups and survey pilot
 Fieldwork April 2010 – November 2010
Stage 1: Survey (n281)
Stage 2: Focus Groups x4
Stage 3: Individual in-depth interviews x15
Diverse sample of
young people 16-26
who live, work, study
or access a service in
a north London
borough.

6. Focus group 4
Ester
Researcher
Chanelle, 19
Jasmine
Rochelle, 17 Indiah, 17 Assistant facilitator

7. ‘Good sex is when you’re both having fun.’
Ester: So can you say more about that, like, what that means, or like what that involves?
Indiah: Like enjoying yourself like that endor-endorphon rush, like if you’re having sex and its not fun, you’re thinking wow I would rather be
watching Emmerdale then, you know something’s not quite right with the sex but if your having sex and you’re having fun and you’re like feeling
happy and like you have a smile on your face after it then it was good sex but however if you have sex and you don’t have a smile on your face
afterwards then it wasn’t fun (E: mmm) therefore you didn’t have good sex. I think you can't have good sex without it being fun. You can't have
serious sex!
Rochelle: Yeah that’s what I was gonna say (laughs) like serious sex is boring!
Indiah: What’s serious sex? (laughs)
Rochelle: Trust me.
C laughs
Rochelle: The boy though, the boy will just be like (mimes male thrusting with serious expression on her face. I and C laugh) like, just thinking too
much, like you can make mistakes but we need to laugh about it, we need to sit there and joke and be like-
Indiah: I hate it when people can’t laugh during sex.
Rochelle: You need to be able to laugh during sex
Indiah: Ah-ha that’s true
Rochelle: And talk during sex and be like, do you know what, can you go deeper, or whatever like. (I and C: mmmm in agreement) ) Like you need,
communication in the sex, like have fun with it like (I: innit!) Don’t be all serious like. alright fair enough if you are loosing your virginity its a bit
different, but have fun!
Ester: What does that-
Indiah: Innit, treat it like its your last pussy!
Chanelle: Free-style, free-style with it.
Rochelle: Innit!
Chanelle: Don’t let it be structured, like step-by step by step.
Rochelle: Yeah innit, it don’t have to go in a particular order. do whatever you wan- If you wanna go in your head-top, go in your head-top. (C and I
laugh) I swear, just like have fun!
Ester: So is that what fun means, like not following…
Rochelle: Yeah
Indiah: Being adventurous. Spontaneous.
Rochelle: Yeah, yeah spontaneous.
Indiah: Yeah the thing about sex that I hate is when they do the same shit every time. Like I know what they gonna do, before they do it! (laughs)
Rochelle: That’s like grandma sex.
Indiah: That is not -
C laughs
Indiah: Like, when its spontaneous like,
Rochelle: Them sexes and your like, your like, wow
Indiah: I weren’t expecting that, yeah, like one of them things like.

8. Fun sex vs serious sex
Having fun
Feeling happy during sex
Smiling, laughing, joking during sex
Freedom, adventure and spontaneity
Young people
Sexually experienced young people
Fun people
 Being serious / boring
 Thinking about other things during
sex.
 Silence, thinking too much talking
during sex during sex serious
concentration in facial expression
and bodily movements.
 Structure, order and predictability
 Grandmas, older married people,
husbands and wives
 Virgins
 Serious people

9. Wow! not Uuuuhhh!
Indiah: Like one time yeah like, I was on my period, but like I had a tampon in
yeah.
Rochelle: Uuuuh I don’t wanna hear this
Indiah: Shut up. Go outside then.
Chanelle laughs
Indiah: I was on my period so I wasn’t expecting to have sex but then um this
boy that I was with, he went down on me. And I was just like, obviously I still
had the tampon in, don’t worry there weren’t blood on his tongue and shit!
Rochelle: Uuuuh, you was on your period - oh my god!
Chanelle: Uuuh!
All laughing
Indiah: I weren’t expecting that so I was like, wow, check you out!

10. What’s serious sex?
E: Do you think, you know how you were saying, how can sex be serious, what about if its that really emotionally
connected sex, so that its...there’s like an intense emotional connection, but its not maybe, that’s quite serious,
quite intense but not fun?
R: Um
I: Can you repeat that, I’m a bit confused.
C: Yeah, I was trying to work it out.
R: She’s saying like, (E: I was trying to imagine-) your making love sex, like cant be fun.
E: Like, could, could serious sex be good, I guess is what I'm asking. Or or I am suggesting, cos you were saying
serious sex, you know (I: I don't know) couldn’t be good.
I: Cos I’ve never had serious sex.
R: You know what I think...., serious sex is for like married people, like husband and wife, because....young sex
should be fun sex...oooh that rhymes!
I: So you cant have fun when you’re married?
R: yeah, but like, obviously there needs to be a point in, where you need to be serious in the sex, because
serious sex is for people who love each other.
I: But how would the sex be serious? I don’t get it!
R: Like, (Grabs I's arm and looks at her intensely, talks in affected breathy voice) babes I love you!
I: Ok you’re scaring me. No I’m joking. I’m joking.
C laughs
I: So like, serious in an emotional way, not in a physical way. (in a 'serious' voice) serious about this sex right
now.
E: Ah ok, I understand the distinction your making, yeah-
I: Ah ok, I get it now. Yeah ok. so that’s more like kind of making love serious.
E: mmm
I: Ok. yeah, yeah I get it now.
E: And I guess that could be fun as well as...
I: yeah (R: yeah) I think that could be fun, cos
R: No.
I: I don’t really see it as serious, I wouldn’t describe it as serious, just highly emotional sex.
R: Ah I get what you are saying now, yeah.

11. Teaching about fun?
Ester: Mmm…so things like you were saying how important fun is and how it wasn’t on there, do you
think that’s something that um it would be good to teach sex as something that is fun and enjoyable?
Rochelle: yeah ..yeah, be like, yeah its good, its fun, like yeah.
Indiah: But then again you don’t want to advertise it as fun so much that people wanna go out and do it
like they want to go to Thorpe Park or something cos -.
All laugh
Chanelle: inaudible
Indiah: Think about it, it is, oh its really fun, I wanna do it. Like they need to understand like the serious
element of sex as well, as well as the fun, they cant just see it as, if you were to describe sex to
someone who like goes to school as like sex is really fun you feel really great, they will wanna go and
do it but they have to understand that-
Rochelle: But you need to explain, when you feel ready, like don’t just go out and do it cos its fun, do it
when you feel ready.
Indiah: They need to know everything, not just a selection like pick and chose, they need to know
everything.

12. It’s just sex!!!!!
I: Its really annoying that boys can get away with it. (R: yeah) Its like, why? Who said one day that its ok for
boys to go around having sex and its not ok for boys. (R: That’s true) I would slap them. I’m sorry.
R. That’s why now, yeah, I think as you get older it becomes less like now, I just like, I know I always say this
but its just sex! like, I just need to exaggerate, its just sex, its nothing!
I: Do you want to shout it? (Laughing)
R: Its just sex!
All laugh
E: this floor is empty, you can shout as -
R: Its just sex. It just gets on my nerves, its sex something physical that happens between 2 people, its not
like, its just sex, no, it just angers me!
E: What is it that makes you angry?
R: The fact that if I have sex with a boy...that I just met,... he wants to bring it up ev-, this is personal
experience here, (I laughs) he wants to bring it up every time. I’m like can you grow up, get over it, it was sex
we had sex, it was just sex, like can you please, just it was sex! I’m sorry.
C laughs.
R: Boys seem to think its a- (C: its cos boys ) massive thing and you’re like -
C: Its when they wanna see - feel big again, when boys wanna try and feel big like (R: I had sex with you -
that’s it) ..yeah we did it, we did it, (R: exactly) every minute. Its like, I know you wanna feel big but,
R: They wanna big themselves up!
I: Is that the only pussy you had. (laughs)
R: Exactly. That must be.
I: Oh really.
R: Its just, I would love to have boys in this discussion right now to see what they think, its ju-, its just sex,
that’s all I have to say.