2. Effective Leadership and Emotional Intelligence
Introduction:
• This Effective Leadership with Emotional Intelligence course will
enable participants to develop greater self-awareness and better self-
management of your emotions.
• A leader’s ability to cultivate productive relationships (intrapersonal,
interpersonal, and social) and leverage the emotional capital in
themselves and others is the foundation of leadership and
organizational success in this environment.
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3. Course Objectives: After completing this course,
participants will be able to:
Explain the impact of beliefs and mindsets on motivation, attitude,
and behavior
Describe the neuroscience of emotion, behavior, and performance
Explain the role of emotional intelligence in driving personal and
leadership mastery
Discuss the components of emotional intelligence and their
importance
Define the notion of self-differentiation in the context of groups
Outline the characteristics of self-differentiation and their
importance
Explore other key intelligences (spiritual, collaborative, and cultural)
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4. COURSE OUTLINE
• Day One: Introduction to Emotional Intelligence (EI) for Leaders
• What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
• Effects of Emotions in our day to day lives.
• Why is Emotional Intelligence (EI)needed?
• Benefits of Emotional Intelligence at a workplace
• Five Pillars of Emotional Intelligence (EI)
• Verbal and Non Verbal Communication
• Emotionally Intelligent Leader (EIL)
• Day Two: Leader as Influencer and Collaborator
• Working effectively with people outside your team.
• You have to influencing people at different levels and functions.
• Build collaborative relationships wherever possible.
• Develop skills and mindsets for the challenges of managing conflict
• Interviews and effective negotiation.
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5. COURSE OUTLINE
• Day Three: Leader as Transformational Change Agent
• Digital Transformation of management initiatives.
• As Emotional Intelligent leaders (EIL): how to issue orders or give directives.
• How to Bring about effective changes in your sphere of functioning.
• Changes are required to respond to newer opportunities and threats faster
than your competitors.
• Leading change has become a highly critical managerial competence.
• Levels of resistance to change and change leadership competencies: the role
of Emotional Intelligent Leaders(EIL).
• Day Four: Achieving Performance Excellence Using Emotional Intelligence
(EI)
• Explain the link between (EI) and performance
• Identify their personal and social competence scores
• Develop their ‘personal competence’ to optimize professional success
• Develop their ‘social competence’ to optimize organizational success
• Apply the (EI) blueprint for continuous improvement
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7. Contents
Day One: Introduction to Emotional Intelligence (EI) for Leaders
What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
Effects of Emotions in our day to day lives.
Why is Emotional Intelligence (EI)needed?
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence at a workplace
Five Pillars of Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Verbal and Non Verbal Communication
Emotionally Intelligent Leader (EIL)
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8. Organizational Impact
• Impact on the organization from the participants in attending this
Leading with Emotional Intelligence course includes the following
benefits:
• Healthier employees who can handle stress more effectively
• More effective leaders
• Improve teamwork and team-building skills through greater
emotional intelligence
• Enhance cooperation through better relationship building skills
• Develop an emotionally intelligence work environment
• Innovative teams
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9. Personal Impact
• This course will personally benefit the participants to gain or enhance
their understanding and knowledge by the following:
• Learn how to achieve better self-awareness
• Practice self-management
• Cultivate emotional intelligence competencies
• Effectively manage your own emotions & emotions of others
• Personal growth as an emotionally intelligent leader
• Understand the different personality styles
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17. The process of
influencing the activities
of an organised group
toward goal achievement
Doing jobs through other
people
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18. Emotional Intelligence (EI)
“Emotional intelligence is
the capacity for
recognizing our own
feelings and those of
others, for motivating
ourselves, and for
managing emotions well in
ourselves and in our
relationships” (Goleman)
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19. The History of EI
In 1990, an article which
comprises some ideas
called „emotional
intelligence‟ was published
by Peter Salovey of Yale
and John Mayer of the
University of New
Hampshire.
It was Daniel Goleman who
popularised the term of
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
to communities in 1995 by
his famous book with the
same name
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21. Five Components of EI
Self-awareness
Self-regulation
Motivation
Empathy
Social skill
„Intrapersona
l
Intelligence‟
„Interpersona
l
Intelligence‟
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22. Self-Awareness
Having a deep
understanding of
our emotions,
strengths, weakness,
needs, and drives
Being honest with
ourselves and the
others
Who am I ?
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23. Leaders with Self-Awareness
not taking actions which are
unsuitable with organisation‟s
capabilities
encourages to enhance the
assets in order to succeed in
obtaining the better results
Self-confidence about anything
(e.g. speaking in public)
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24. Self-Regulation
Controlling our feeling, moods and
emotional impulses
Having adaptability and flexibility with
challenges
“Take responsibility for your life. If you can't control
what happens, you can at least control how you
respond.”
(Sanborn)
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25. Leaders with Self-Regulation
Think first before
taking an action
Not easy in getting
angry and panic
React to any
condition with a
smile
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26. Motivation
Drives which attempt to achieve beyond
expectations
A strong desire to attain goals with energy and
determination
“Nothing great was ever achieved without
enthusiasm”
(Emerson)
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28. Leaders with Motivation
Self-motivation
Be optimistic in
responding the result
whether it is bad or
good
Remain hopeful and
overcome failure
without frustration
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29. Empathy
Understanding others
and taking active
interest in their
concerns
Being sensitive to the
diversity about what
the others feel
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30. Leaders with Empathy
Understanding what workers feel and what they want by being
aware of their needs, perspectives, feelings, concerns, and senses
of the developmental needs of them
Behaving carefully in terms of instructing the staff
Becoming a good listener to employees‟ initiation without
interruption
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31. Social Skill
Ability in managing
relationship (no work
will be done alone)
Sociability and
cooperation with a
purpose and moving
people to the desired
direction
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32. Leaders with Social Skill
Working together with
the subordinates
Not only just socialising
with the followers but
also developing them
Being supportive and
having ability to
communicate as well as
inspire people
A proficiency in resolving
conflicts, collaboration
and forming a good team
work
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33. Conclusion
“Emotional Intelligence is a way of
recognising, understanding, and choosing
how we think, feel, and act.
It defines how and what we learn;
it allows us to set priorities; it
determines the majority of our daily
actions.
It shapes leaders‟ interactions with the
subordinates and understanding of
themselves.”
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35. Emotional Intelligence
The capacity for recognizing our own feelings
and those of others, for motivating ourselves,
for managing emotions well in ourselves and in
our relationships.
Daniel Goleman
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36. Emotional Intelligence
Unlike IQ, which is basically the same
throughout life, Emotional Intelligence based
competencies are learned abilities.
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37. Emotional Intelligence skills account for close to 90%
of what distinguishes the most outstanding
performers or leaders from average ones.
The ‘trick’ is identifying and understanding the gaps
between your self assessment and those of others.
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38. In a study of 2,000 managers from 12
large organizations, 81% of the
competencies that distinguished
outstanding managers were related to
emotional intelligence.
Boyatzies (1982)
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39. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
•The very word EMPATHY seems unbusinesslike, out of place amid the
tough realities of the marketplace.
•Daniel Goleman
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40. People look to a leader to provide
supportive, emotional connections – for
empathy.
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41. •When leaders drive emotions positively, they bring out the best in others.
We call this effect RESONANCE.
•When they drive emotions negatively, leaders spawn DISSONANCE.
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42. Resonance
•People feel “in synch”. A leader may manage, but they do not lead
without a healthy dose of heart.
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43. •Key to creating resonance is competency in emotional intelligence –
HOW leaders handle themselves and their relationships.
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44. Good Moods = Good Work
•Research reveals that a well timed joke or playful laughter can:
Stimulate creativity.
Open lines of communication.
Enhance a sense of connection and trust.
Make work more fun.
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45. Laughter
•Laughter signals the group’s EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE offering one
sure sign that peoples’ hearts as well as their minds are engaged.
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46. •Cheerfulness and warmth spread most
easily while depression spreads hardly at all.
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47. Rudeness
Rudeness is contagious; grumpy workers serve customers
poorly.
Distress makes people less emotionally intelligent.
Leaders who spread bad moods are bad for business.
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48. Dissonance
Dissonance is an unpleasant, harsh sound – refers to lack of
harmony. People feel continually “off key”.
Occurs when the leader is out of touch with the people in
the room.
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49. Dissonance
Dissonance dispirits people, burns them out, sends them
packing.
It creates a toxic environment and people take the toxicity
home.
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50. Dissonance
Dissonance can range from the obvious tyrant who bawls
out and humiliates people to the “dementors” who
unwittingly drain hope and happiness out of those around
them.
“Dementors” may be successful short term, but they leave
behind a toxic environment.
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52. Dissonance
•When 108 managers reported on causes of
conflicts in their jobs, the number one
reason was inept criticism by a boss.
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53. Dissonance
My observation of managers/executives in general:
1. 80% of us treat others LESS THAN what they
really are. We don’t do it all the time, but we
do it too often.
2. 18-19% treat others pretty much AS THEY ARE.
We are quick to point out their faults to them
and others about them.
3. 1-2% treat others BETTER THAN they really are.
They treat them the way they OUGHT TO BE
and THEREBY HELP THEM BECOME WHAT THEY
ARE CAPABLE OF BEING.
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54. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
There are four domains of emotional intelligence:
1. Self Awareness
2. Self Management
3. Social Awareness (empathy)
4. Relationship Management
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55. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
• Self Awareness
Self confidence
Perhaps the most telling sign of self awareness is a propensity
for self reflection and thoughtfulness.
Self deprecating sense of humor.
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57. Contents
Day Two: Leader as Influencer and Collaborator
Working effectively with people outside your team.
You have to influencing people at different levels and functions.
Build collaborative relationships wherever possible.
Develop skills and mindsets for the challenges of managing conflict
Interviews and effective negotiation.
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58. Emotionally intelligent managers like to be in a
room with smart people.
Those who aren’t emotionally intelligent want
to be the smartest person in the room.
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59. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
Self Control
Achievement
Initiative
Optimism
Self Management
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60. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
No leader can afford to be controlled by negative emotions such as
frustration and rage or anxiety.
Frees us from being a prisoner of our feelings.
Leaders who can stay optimistic and upbeat even under intense
pressure radiate positive feelings and create resonance.
Self Management
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61. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
•Ultimately, the most meaningful act of
responsibility that leaders can do is to
control their own state of mind.
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62. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
Empathy is the number one ingredient of social effectiveness in the
workplace.
They seem approachable.
They listen carefully.
They respond appropriately.
Social Awareness
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63. What you think
What you say
How you behave
Observation
You control three things:
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64. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
•Social awareness is empathy; it’s not ‘I’m OK, You’re OK’. It means
taking employees’ feelings into thoughtful consideration and then
making intelligent decisions that translates those feelings into a
response.
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65. Evidence of Social Awareness
Expertise in building and retaining talent.
Cross cultural sensitivity.
Service to clients and customers.
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66. Motivate with a compelling vision
Influence through persuasion
Conflict resolution
Teamwork and collaboration
Develop others
Domains of Emotional Intelligence
Relationship Management
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67. Domains of Emotional Intelligence
•Relationship management is
friendliness with a purpose, moving
people in the right direction, whether
it is an agreement, or marketing
strategy or enthusiasm about a new
project.
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68. Visionary Coaching Affiliative Democratic
Moves
people
toward
dreams
when
change
requires a
new
vision.
Connects
what a
person
wants with
organi-
zational
goals.
Values
peoples’
input
and gets
commit-
ment.
Leadership Styles
That Create Resonance
Connects
people to
each
other.
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69. Two Styles That Create Dissonance
1. PACESETTING (use sparingly) – Leader holds high standards
for performance – is obsessive about doing things better
and faster
• Can leave employees feeling pushed too hard and
leaders appear to not care about people they are ‘driving’
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70. Pacesetter
Exceptionally high standards.
Impatient with poor performance.
Readiness to take over for people when they get into
difficulties.
•(use when employees are self-motivated, highly
competent and need little direction).
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71. Dissonance Styles
BY COMMAND (Do it because I say so).
•Rarely uses praise and freely criticizes employees.
•These types of bosses are becoming dinosaurs.
•These SOBs may survive for a long time.
•They may achieve financial goals but have no regard for long
term, human or organizational costs.
•Al Dunlop was a classic user of this style
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72. ‘Chainsaw Al’ Gets Cut
Sunbeam’s corporate
cutthroat shown the door
USA Today – 6/16/98
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73. Commanding Style
•These “leaders” drive away talent. The number one reason
people cite for quitting is dissatisfaction with the boss.
•Those with bad bosses are four times more likely to leave than
those who appreciate the leader they work for.
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74. Great managers play chess while average
managers play checkers.
From “What Great Managers Do”
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75. CEO Disease
•CEO Disease – The information vacuum
around a leader created when people
withhold important (and usually unpleasant)
information.
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76. CEO Disease
The higher up the “ladder” a leader climbs, the less accurate his
or her self-assessment is likely to be.
“The last time I was told what was really happening was the day
before I became president of the Texas Methodist Hospital” –
Larry Mathis.
Most people overestimate their abilities, but the very poorest
exaggerate their abilities the most.
“Bill is ignorance on fire”.
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77. Leaders and Learning
•Old leaders can learn new tricks and can make
life-altering changes in their styles.
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83. Interferences
• How many of these “attitudes” have been negative?
• How many of these “attitudes” have been positive?
• How would your performance improve if your
attitudes, beliefs and habits were all positive?
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84. Think Piece
What does Emotional Intelligence mean to you?
FEEDBACK
Have you got examples when you have acted as a
facilitator or collaborative leader?
In groups read the statement below. What do
you think it means?
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85. Think Piece
The leaders of the future will need to be
facilitators, leaders who enable others to
develop their own leadership and potential.
They will also be collaborative leaders,
highly skilled in developing and sustaining
mutually beneficial partnerships and able
to influence and lead teams. These both
require a new set of skills and attitudes for
leadership – emotionally intelligent skills
and attitudes.
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86. Think Piece
• Do you help others to develop
their own leadership and
potential?
Facilitators
• When leading teams are you able
to lead teams to encourage
others to work to agreed end?
Collaborative
leadres
• Are you able ot understand your
beliefs, values, attitudes,
competencies (E.g to empathise)?
Emotionally
intelligent
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88. The Good,
the Bad and
the Ugly
Two lists
Good leader Bad leader
Group
discussion
In light of our
discussions and
reflections on EI
what are the key
features that you
think will help some
be a great leader?
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89. The Six Leadership Styles
• Daniel Goleman’s research found that leaders use six styles. Each
springs from different components of emotional intelligence.
• “Typically, the best, most effective leaders act according to one or
more of six distinct approaches to leadership and skilfully switch
between the various styles depending on the situation.
- The New Leaders. Daniel Goleman
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91. Commanding Visionary Affiliative Democratic Pacesetting Coaching
The leader’s
modus operandi
Demands
immediate
compliance
Mobilizes people
toward a vision
Creates harmony
and builds
emotional bonds
Forges consensus
through
participation
Sets high
standards for
performance
Develops people
for the future
The style in a
phrase
“Do what I tell
you.”
“Come with me.” “People come
first.”
“What do you
think?”
“Do as I do, now.” “Try this.”
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92. Commanding Visionary Affiliative Democratic Pacesetting Coaching
The leader’s
modus operandi
Demands
immediate
compliance
Mobilizes people
toward a vision
Creates harmony
and builds
emotional bonds
Forges consensus
through
participation
Sets high
standards for
performance
Develops people
for the future
The style in a
phrase
“Do what I tell
you.”
“Come with me.” “People come
first.”
“What do you
think?”
“Do as I do, now.” “Try this.”
Underlying
emotional
intelligence
competencies
Drive to achieve,
initiative, self-
control
Self-confidence,
empathy, change
catalyst
Empathy, building
relationships,
communication
Collaboration,
team leadership,
communication
Conscientious-
ness, drive to
achieve, initiative
Developing others,
empathy, self-
awareness
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93. Commanding Visionary Affiliative Democratic Pacesetting Coaching
The leader’s modus
operandi
Demands immediate
compliance
Mobilizes people
toward a vision
Creates harmony and
builds emotional
bonds
Forges consensus
through participation
Sets high standards
for performance
Develops people for
the future
The style in a phrase “Do what I tell you.” “Come with me.” “People come first.” “What do you think?” “Do as I do, now.” “Try this.”
Underlying emotional
intelligence
competencies
Drive to achieve,
initiative, self-control
Self-confidence,
empathy, change
catalyst
Empathy, building
relationships,
communication
Collaboration, team
leadership,
communication
Conscientious-ness,
drive to achieve,
initiative
Developing others,
empathy, self-
awareness
When the style works
best
In a crisis, to kick
start a turnaround,
or with problem
employees
When changes
require a new vision,
or when a clear
direction is needed
To heal rifts in a team
or to motivate
people during
stressful
circumstances
To build buy-in or
consensus, or to get
input from valuable
employees
To get quick results
form a highly
motivated and
competent team
To help an employee
improve
performance or
develop long-term
strengths
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94. Commanding
The leader’s modus
operandi
Demands immediate
compliance
The style in a phrase “Do what I tell you.”
Underlying
emotional
intelligence
competencies
Drive to achieve,
initiative, self-control
When the style
works best
In a crisis, to kick
start a turnaround, or
with problem
employees
Overall impact on climate
Positive or negative?
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95. Visionary
The leader’s modus
operandi
Mobilizes people
toward a vision
The style in a phrase “Come with me.”
Underlying
emotional
intelligence
competencies
Self-confidence,
empathy, change
catalyst
When the style
works best
When changes
require a new vision,
or when a clear
direction is needed
Overall impact on climate
Positive or negative?
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96. Affiliative
The leader’s modus
operandi
Creates harmony and
builds emotional
bonds
The style in a phrase “People come first.”
Underlying
emotional
intelligence
competencies
Empathy, building
relationships,
communication
When the style
works best
To heal rifts in a team
or to motivate
people during
stressful
circumstances
Overall impact on climate
Positive or negative?
8/24/2021 96
97. Democratic Pacesetting Coaching
The leader’s modus
operandi
Forges consensus
through participation
Sets high standards
for performance
Develops people for
the future
The style in a phrase “What do you think?” “Do as I do, now.” “Try this.”
Underlying
emotional
intelligence
competencies
Collaboration, team
leadership,
communication
Conscientious-ness,
drive to achieve,
initiative
Developing others,
empathy, self-
awareness
When the style
works best
To build buy-in or
consensus, or to get
input from valuable
employees
To get quick results
form a highly
motivated and
competent team
To help an employee
improve
performance or
develop long-term
strengths
8/24/2021 97
98. Leadership Styles
• Which leadership style do you use most often?
• Now find and sit with those who share your leadership style
• Read about the positives and negatives of your primary style
• Share examples of when you have used this style positively or
negatively
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100. Leaders And Learning
Ideal self – What do I want to be.
Real self – What am I (my strengths and gaps).
My learning agenda – build on strengths and reduce my gaps.
Experiment and practice new behaviors and thoughts and
feelings.
Develop supportive and trusting relationships that make change
possible.
Self-Directed Learning Process
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101. Leaders and Learning
•The best kind of learning agenda helps you
focus on what you want to become – your own
ideal rather than someone else’s idea of what
you should be.
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102. Leaders and Learning
•Practice to become your ideal self. Rehearse
new behavior at every opportunity until it
becomes automatic.
•Athletes spend a lot of time practicing and a
little time performing. Executives spend no time
practicing.
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105. The Power of Emotional Intelligence
• Not a new concept
• Darwin’s take
(150+ years ago)
• Conceptualized by Peter
Salovey and Jack Mayer (1990)
• Mainstreamed by Daniel
Goleman (1995)
• Credit our EI partner Genos
Founder Dr. Ben Palmer for a
Practical Application
au 106
8/24/2021
106. Models and Assessments of EI
• Models of EI can be placed into three main categories,
namely:
1. Ability-based
• models that conceptualize EI as a set of abilities to do with
emotions
much like IQ (Mayer & Salovey, 1997)
2. Trait-based
• models that conceptualise EI as an array of emotional and social
traits, e.g., “self-regard” (Bar-on, 1997)
3. Competency-based
• models that conceptualize EI as a set of emotional competencies
defined as “a learned capability based on EI”, e.g., the skill of
perceiving and understanding others emotions, based on one’s
emotional perception ability (e.g., Palmer & Stough, 2001)
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107. Science of Emotional Intelligence
• Nature…
– neuro-efficiency differences in processing emotional
information determined from neuro-imaging studies,
and
– different areas of the brain appear to be involved in the
generation and awareness of different emotions.
• Nurture…
– women around the world do score higher that men in
EI instruments
– there are differences in EI different age groups
(with age comes wisdom), and
– the manifestation of EI differs across cultures.
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108. Science of Emotional Intelligence
• Is EI just another fad?
– Today EI has the three critical ingredients
for longevity as a psychological
construct…
• global body of researchers
• global body of critics
• global body of practitioners focused in its
application in a range of contexts, including:
– work and career
– home and family, and
– education and schools.
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113. Day Three: Leader as Transformational Change
Agent
1. Digital Transformation of management initiatives.
2. As Emotional Intelligent leaders (EIL): how to issue orders or give
directives.
3. How to Bring about effective changes in your sphere of
functioning.
4. Changes are required to respond to newer opportunities and
threats faster than your competitors.
5. Leading change has become a highly critical managerial
competence.
6. Levels of resistance to change and change leadership
competencies: the role of Emotional Intelligent Leaders(EIL).
8/24/2021 114
114. Genos Model of Emotional Intelligence
A factor analytic study
determined that EI
could be commonly
defined as …
“a set of seven skills
that define how
effectively we perceive,
understand, reason
with and manage our
own and others’
feelings.”
Palmer, B.R., Gignac, G., Ekermans, G., & Stough, C. A
comprehensive framework for emotional intelligence. In
Robert Emmerling, Manas K. Mandal & Vinod K. Shanwal
(Eds). Emotional Intelligence: Theoretical & Cultural
Perspectives. (2008).
Source: Genos International
8/24/2021 115
115. Skill 1: Emotional Self-Awareness
• The skill of perceiving and understanding one’s
own
emotions
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– are more “in-tune” with their moods, feelings and
emotions at work, and
– demonstrate greater awareness of how their emotions
may be influencing their thoughts and decisions
• As a result they …
– better recognize the impact their moods, feelings and
emotions have on their outward displays and behaviours
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116. Skill 1: Emotional Self-Awareness
The skill of perceiving/understanding one’s own emotions
Effective or Ineffective?
8/24/2021 117
117. Skill 2: Emotional Expression
• The skill of effectively expressing one’s own emotions
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– communicate how they feel about various issues at work,
and
– create greater understanding about themselves amongst
their
colleagues
• As a result they …
– are often described by colleagues as “genuine and
trustworthy”
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118. Skill 2: Emotional Expression
The skill of effectively expressing one’s own emotions.
Effective or Ineffective?
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119. Skill 3: Emotional Awareness of Others
• The skill of perceiving and understanding others’
emotions
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– understand what typically makes people feel various ways in
the workplace, and
– are proficient at reading others’ emotional/mood states at
work, e.g., bored with a given task
• As a result they …
– more effectively engage with, respond to, motivate and
connect
with others
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120. Skill 3: Emotional Awareness of Others
Effective or Ineffective?
The skill of perceiving and understanding
others’ emotions
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121. Skill 4: Emotional Reasoning
• The skill of utilizing emotional information (from
yourself and others) in reasoning, planning and
decision-making
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– consult others’ feelings on issues at work to help derive
solutions, and
– consider their own feelings on issues at work when
decision-
making.
• As a result they …
– achieve greater buy-in to decisions they implement in the
workplace.
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122. Skill 4: Emotional Reasoning
The skill of utilizing emotional information
(from yourself and others)
in reasoning, planning and decision-making
Effective or Ineffective?
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123. Skill 5: Emotional Self-Management
• The skill of effectively managing your own
emotions
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– move on quickly from events that cause them adversity,
and
– implement strategies to help them maintain positive
moods
and emotions in the workplace
• As a result they …
– cope more effectively with high work demands and
occupational stress
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124. MEMurphy
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coaching - training - consulting
Skill 5: Emotional Self-Management
The skill of effectively managing your own emotions
Effective or Ineffective?
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125. MEMurphy
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Skill 6: Emotional Management of Others
• The skill of influencing the moods and emotions of
others
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– create environments that make people feel more optimistic
and positive in the workplace, and
– help people identify more effective ways of responding
(behaving) to events that are causing them adversity.
• As a result they …
– are good at improving workplace productivity and
performance.
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126. MEMurphy
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coaching - training - consulting
Skill 6: Emotional Management of Others
The skill of influencing the moods and emotions of others
Effective or Ineffective?
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127. MEMurphy
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Skill 7: Emotional Self-Control
• The skill of effectively controlling strong emotions
that you experience
• At work, people effective in this skill of EI …
– have a long “fuse”
– express anger and other strong emotions in the right way,
at
the right time, and with the right person, and
– find it easy to concentrate on a task when really excited or
upset about something
• As a result they …
– are resilient in the face of strong adversity
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128. MEMurphy
consulting
coaching - training - consulting
Skill 7: Emotional Self-Control
The skill of effectively controlling strong emotions that
you experience
Effective or Ineffective?
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129. MEMurphy
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coaching - training - consulting
What Does This Mean For You?
1. The seven skills build upon
each other. For example,
you need to be aware of
your emotions in order to
effectively express them.
2. The seven skills define
how you perceive,
understand, reason with,
and manage your own and
others’ feelings.
3. Demonstrating the seven
skills and associated
behaviours more frequently
will increase your EI.
Source: Genos International
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130. MEMurphy
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Real World Work Implications
What Contributes To Superior Performance?
• Organizational cultural/motivational fit: 31%
• Interpersonal behaviors: 26%
• Critical reasoning/judgment: 21%
• Technical skills: 12%
• Relevant experience: 11%
Source: Right Management Study; 1st Q 2010
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132. MEMurphy
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Emotional Intelligence
Christ The King Church, September 16, 2010
Reflect on your own role as…
…Professional
…Colleague
…Business owner or leader
…Friend, Spouse, or
Parent
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133. MEMurphy
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coaching - training - consulting
Emotional Intelligence
Two parting questions:
1.In what areas are your EI behaviors
moving you into powerful places?
2.In what areas are your lack of
effective EI behaviors stealing your
power?
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135. Day Four: Achieving Performance Excellence Using
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Explain the link between (EI) and performance
Identify their personal and social competence scores
Develop their ‘personal competence’ to optimize professional
success
Develop their ‘social competence’ to optimize organizational success
Apply the (EI) blueprint for continuous improvement
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136. Conventional Performance
• Sign of weakness
• No place at work
• Avoid emotions
• Avoid emotional people
• Pay attention to thoughts
• Distract us
• Barrier to control
• Undermine authority
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149. “…The people who will become the leaders, the people who will
become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in
the key emotional intelligence abilities."
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.
Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services
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150. 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence
Leaders at a top-five US government agency experienced a 63%
improvement in quality of their relationships
Leaders at one of the largest US not-for-profit health systems
experienced a:
93% improvement in their ability to handle conflict effectively. 57%
improvement in their ability to deal effectively with change.
54% improvement in their ability to communicate clearly and
effectively.
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152. Improving Relationship Management
• Seek to build high quality, high trust relationships
• Try to discover what role emotions are playing in your interactions with
others
• If you sense tension or other emotional reactions in a person’s body
language or speech, ask questions to seek to understand
• Be quick to settle disputes, differences of opinion and
misunderstandings
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153. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Self-Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions to stay flexible and
positively direct your behavior
•Managing your emotional reactions
to all situations and people
Social Awareness
•Ability to accurately pick up on
emotions in other people
•Understand what is really going on
•Understanding what other people
are thinking and feeling even if you
don’t feel the same way
Self-Awareness
•Ability to accurately perceive your
own emotions
•Stay aware of your emotions as they
happen
•Keep on top of how you tend to
respond to specific situations and
people
Relationship
Management
•Ability to use awareness of your
emotions and emotions of others to
manage interactions successfully
•Ensure clear communication and
effective handling of conflict
PERSONAL
COMPETEN
CE
SOCIAL
COMPETEN
CE
WHAT I SEE WHAT I DO
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154. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Individual & Organizational Performance
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155. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Organizational Engagement – Vital Signs
• Trust: People have a sense of
safety & assurance to share
and go beyond their comfort
zones
• Motivation: People feel
energized and committed to
doing more than the minimum
• Change: Employees and
institutions are adaptable and
innovative
• Teamwork: People collaborate
and communicate to take on
challenges
• Execution: Individuals are both
focused and accountable
Fariselli, L., Freedman, J., & Ghini, M. (2013).
White Paper: Linking bottom line performance to
emotional intelligence and organizational climate.
Retrieved September 18, 2014 from 6seconds.org.
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156. What does EI have to do with ECP?
Stakeholder Engagement
CI Manageme
nt
Regulator
Contracto
rs
Execs Direct
Reports
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157. Final Thoughts
If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand,
if you don’t have self-awareness, if you
are not able to manage your distressing
emotions, if you can’t have empathy
and have effective relationships, than no
matter how smart you are, you are not
going to get very far.
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158. Brilliant TED Talks That
Will Boost Your Emotional
Intelligence
Kelly McGonigal: How to
make stress your friend
Arianna Huffington: How to
succeed? Get more sleep
Laura Trice: The power of
saying thank you
Daniel Goleman: Why aren't
we more compassionate?
Mandy Len Catron: Falling
in love is the easy part
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