1. Olivia’s Story
As our country enters a season of celebrating
independence and freedom, Olivia’s time at the
Youth Ranch is drawing to an end and she is
preparing for her new role as an independent
young adult. She is taking these next steps with
the confidence that she is never alone. She says:
“Learning about God has helped me so much. I have
someone who will never leave and will guide me
through this life.”
Olivia had the support of her family yet she was
isolating herself. She revealed “My relationships prior
to Patch were very destructive. I didn’t let anyone get
very close to me, in fear of potentially losing them.
I didn’t know how to deal with my abuse as a child
and losing my parents and little sister [and] I really lacked caring about anything. I tried to
forget my problems.”
“Many unhealthy behaviors stemmed from my trauma,” Olivia pointed out. She was
struggling with trust issues, lying, partying, low self-worth, depression, disconnecting from
life, as well as resentments towards and detaching from those who cared for her. Olivia
said “My worst relationship was with my aunt. We fought constantly. I hated her because
she reminded me of my past. I was so angry and bitter towards her because she was in the
authority position, yet was nothing like my parents. I constantly disregarded her rules.”
Olivia admits she was angry when she was placed at the Youth Ranch but she also had the
wisdom to hold this belief: “Well, I was not happy to be here, but since the beginning I
knew I needed to use my time wisely here and do well in the program.” With this attitude
and hard work Olivia has grown. She spoke of her two big shifts in perspective “The
first was during Wilderness*. I had a change of heart. I felt convicted. I wanted to have
integrity. I didn’t want to be a dishonest person. Another change took place when my aunt
came for a visit in February. We got along. We had really positive interactions. I learned
how grateful I was for Patch, how much I’ve grown and changed.”
Olivia’s bravery of facing her past and taking ownership of her future has been rewarded
in many ways. She says “I have a lot more positive emotions. I’m happier with life and
myself.” Olivia also reflected on the lessons she is taking with her: “A few of the biggest
are learning to communicate, working through my loss and trauma and finding God.”
She says that these lessons will help her now and in the future with any relationship that
she has. Olivia says she has found the freedom to “appreciate the good times instead of
feeling the hurt from those times that caused me pain.”
As she looks forward to her future she knows she has the support of her family and
that she can turn to God for help. Olivia plans on attending college to pursue a career
as a social worker.
Piecing it Together
Jeff had quit trying years ago. He didn’t even
remember the first time he was told he was stupid,
but that message was loud and clear from his dad
and reinforced by his teachers and friends. He tried to
pretend that it didn’t bother him but it did.
There have been many scientific experiments using
mice to study the process of giving up. The mice are
shown a way to get food and develop a habit and expectation. Then the rules
change and the method doesn’t work anymore. They keep trying the same
method over and over and eventually quit trying and sit in the center and
prepare to starve to death. Once a mouse gives up, it won’t even try with food
in plain sight.
I’m not trying to be depressing but in our work at Project Patch we meet teens
and families who have quit trying. They are hungry for meaning and change
but believe it is impossible to do anything better.
How do we help teens and families who have given up? In the case of Jeff we
knew he was smart and capable of doing very well in school but we couldn’t
show him until he tried. What finally made him try was that a trusted staff
person at the Youth Ranch asked him for a favor. Simply put, Jeff tried because
someone really wanted him to. He was surprised when he was successful but
the staff member wasn’t.
The Family Experience helps families gain confidence by coaching them in
new skills and then giving them difficult challenges that can’t be solved unless
they implement the stuff they are learning. Families are surprised by what they
accomplish and what fun it was when they work together.
There are people who believe this generation of parents and teens are lost,
that they are self-absorbed whiners incapable of working hard. What I’ve
discovered while working with the teens and families is that they need people
who believe in them, even when they don’t believe.
This issue celebrates not giving up. It is the same drive that gave our great
nation its independence. As you celebrate this Independence Day, celebrate
also the power of not giving up.
Our newsletter and the stories we tell are made possible by people who
believe. Each story is made possible because people give of their time and
money. I pray you are encouraged as you read these stories and invite you to
consider getting further involved in this great work of building thriving families,
restoring hope to teens, and empowering supportive communities.
Our success stories are made possible by our generous supporters! Thank you for helping us to accomplish our mission.
Summer 2015 Wish List
Ranch:
($1,900) 20 New or used office chairs
($350) An iPad to record PE scores on
($200 each) Nice sleeping bags
($150 each ) Bikes
($180 each ) Push mowers
($170) New volleyball net (for
outdoor court)
($50 for 12 pack) New jerseys
(including larger sizes - at least 10
per color - something that can be
worn over t-shirts)
Goldendale Family Experience
and Retreat Center:
($2,000) Ice maker
($2,000) Electric wire feed welder
($1,500) Plasma cutter
($400) Small lawn mower
Vancouver Office:
($1,000) Funds for kitchen floor repair
72” Storage Cabinet
Board Room table cloth
Cares and Prayers
Ranch Prayers
For a successful Christian addition to
our Girls Dorm staff
For recent graduates: that they
do well, make wise decisions, and
follow Jesus
Goldendale Prayers
For a new assistant director for
Goldendale
Vancouver Prayers
Fund raising and development
Achieving Independence: An
Alumni Success Story
Tara Brooks,Development Coordinator
Alex Jossi graduated from Project Patch in
2006. He was 16 when he arrived, and he
says that he was a bit overwhelmed at first.
“Deep down I knew it was a safe place, but
being away from my family, and feeling
uncertain about the place made me a little
afraid.” He says it was a long time before he
decided it was going to be a good thing,
which came about because of his growing
relationships with the staff.
Alex’s parents sent him to the Ranch on the
recommendation of a good friend. When
he was young he had a hard time handling
his emotions. “Mostly I had trouble with
anger,” he says. “I may have grown out of it
eventually, but Project Patch made it easier to
overcome it. It gave me skills that helped me
to mature quicker.”
Now an employee of Delta Airlines, Alex says
that he knows Patch definitely made a big
difference in his life, and he kind of misses it!
“Every once in a while I will dream about the
Ranch, and wake up and wish I could go back
for a month or two! Wilderness training* was
the best part.” Alex’s advice to kids who are
new to Patch is: “Don’t fight it. It might be a
hard decision to make, and it might be hard
for the kid at first, but it is worth it. Like with
any other life choice, sometimes things that
are hard are what are best for us. It’s like
working out – it takes a commitment and
work to make good changes.”
Since 1984 Project PATCH has worked to
help restore teens and change their lives.
Success stories are made possible by our
generous supporters and we depend on our
donors to help us accomplish our mission.
To make a donation, please go to
www.projectpatch.org and click on the
Support Patch button.
*Wilderness Program
The solitude and serenity of the Wilderness Program environment provides
residents with a unique opportunity to focus on their personal experiences and
struggles. The Wilderness Program is an isolated camping experience supervised
by staff. It may occur on campus or in a remote camp within a reasonable driving
or hiking distance from campus. The solitude of the Wilderness Program may
encourage openness to a spiritual journey, if the client chooses.
Summer 2015 • Volume XXI • Issue 2
Contact Us:
www.projectpatch.org
2404 E Mill Plain Blvd #A
Vancouver, WA 98661
360-690-8495
The Project Patch Youth Ranch in the beautiful mountains of Idaho is a highly
respected, licensed, and accredited Christian residential behavioral treatment
facility and school serving boys and girls ages 12-17. The Family Experience,
located in the hills of Goldendale, Washington, provides an opportunity for
families to reconnect and build resilience.

2. Today’s Family
Experience:
Chuck Hagele
The teen boys in the raft had
learned how to paddle and
seemed ready to show off. It felt
like I was playing fetch with a
puppy! I threw a big, orange ball
into the river way ahead of us and
shouted: “Go get it!” and the boys
started paddling like mad. I helped by steering the boat, but they instinctively
knew that they had to drive to the ball. A few minutes after picking up the ball,
I threw it again; but this time instead of downstream, I threw it upstream and
shouted: “Get the ball!” (Okay, now that I’m typing it, it does seem like I was
treating them like a puppy, but I had a reason for this.)
The boys seemed a bit uncertain about what they were going to do. Some
boys suggested that we don’t do anything since the ball would float down
to us. They soon discovered that we were also floating the same speed as
the ball. Then some boys told me to turn the boat toward the ball and they
started to paddle for all they were worth. All the boys joined in. Interestingly,
we weren’t able to paddle upriver to the ball, but we were able to hold our
position enough for the ball to come to us. Sounds like a silly game, but I was
trying to make a point. There are some goals which we need to drive toward,
and others that we need to make sure we are holding in the right place and
waiting for.
Most people who talk to teens about goals focus on what I call “driving” goals.
These goals include: finishing high school, sports victories, graduating from
college, a good job, a fantastic family, riches, and fame. As I talked to the boys,
they also had goals like having great friends. I asked them a question that I
think is important for teens and adults to think about: What goals do you need
to drive toward and what goals do you need to actively wait for?
Both driving to goals and waiting for goals take effort and a lot of energy. The
boys knew that simply drifting didn’t get the job done. As we talked, the boys
shared about their friendships; how they tried to get someone to like them or
include them in a group by working to be liked. What was clear was that it’s
easy to lose track of who you are when you really want someone to like you,
and that love is built on acceptance and authenticity. It takes a lot of work to
be the very best ‘you’ in a world that wants you to be like someone else. At this
point, one of the boys shared that we really have to drive in our relationship
with Christ. Not quite what I was expecting on our raft trip, but he went on to
say that he had to pray, read his Bible, and do good things for God to accept
him. I asked him who did all the work for him to be saved. He thought for a
while and said, “Jesus.” So, if Jesus did all the work, does that mean we are
supposed to drift, drive, or wait? We remembered that Jesus wasn’t like that
ball. The ball just floats along, but Jesus came to
us. Pretty amazing what can happen on the river
when playing fetch with a bunch of boys!
As you talk to your kids about goals, I encourage
you to find ways to talk about not only what the
goals are, but what needs to happen to get those
goals. Better yet, rather than just talking, why don’t
you find a way to experience it before talking
about it.
Read more at Today.thefamilyexperience.org.
The Family Experience:
Guiding our kids towards independence is a struggle for all parents. Parents
call us with excitement for the opportunities our Family Experience weekends
hold for their families. They look forward to an intentional time away with their
family where they can reconnect and learn skills to understand and support
each other. In spite of this excitement often times there is the concern: “Will my
kids enjoy it?” According to the feedback we have received from the kids who
have attended the answer is a resounding “Yes!”
One teen girl who attended told us that when she first heard her family was
going to attend she thought it was going to be all work. After participating in a
weekend she said “It was more fun than I thought it would be.” She liked that it
helped her understand more of herself and was a time for them to be together
as a family. She also said she enjoyed the food, the hikes, and ropes course.
A teen boy who attended let us know “This place allowed us to unplug as a
family and focus on opening new windows into our family, communication, and
enough time to think and plan for our future.
“I enjoyed my time this weekend! Everyone was so friendly, the food was great,
and I learned so much about how to communicate with my family,” affirmed a
teen girl who attended.
The Family Experience is something that both
older teens and younger kids can appreciate.
One 11-year-old girl stated “It’s a lot of fun. You
learn something then you have a game or a
puzzle to solve that uses that information that
you just learned.”
www.thefamiliyexperience.org
Tools of the Trade:
Parenting Tip
How I Almost Screwed Up
With My Oldest Son
by Paul Elmore
My 14-year-old son just told my
8-year-old son that he can’t watch TV
with him and the middle brother.
Understandably, the youngest came
to me complaining about the decision.
My Bad—Assuming The Worst
At first, I was frustrated. My thoughts
were, “here’s just one more time
when the older one is picking on the
younger one.”
In reality, when I sat back and started
listening to the situation I realized
that my 14-year-old is actually
trying to protect my youngest,
because the content of the show was
inappropriate.
His intentions are good, but his
execution is poor.
Just telling an 8-year-old he can’t do
something will always end in a fight.
Telling him why is just as important so
he can understand.
How We Do Things Matters
I wanted my oldest to be affirmed
in his decision. I wanted him to
know that I appreciate his care for
his younger brother. I wanted him
to know that I recognized his good
intentions.
I also wanted to reinforce the idea that
HOW he treats his brother when his
intentions are good is important as
well.
It’s not natural for a 14-year-old boy
to think about how other people feel—
especially his brother. But, if he can
get this concept incorporated early
into his life paradigm, I believe he will
have a greater chance of impacting
his world for good.
It’s never too early to teach spiritual
living to your kids.
See more at:
www.paulelmore.com/parenting/how-
i-almost-screwed-up-with-my-oldest-
son/#sthash.KKQB0o9J.dpuf
Volunteer Spotlight
Virginia Parsons,
Vancouver Office Volunteer
Gini says she was born a missionary
kid in Angola, Africa, where her
family served for many years.
She loves volunteering because
it makes her feel good, and she
thinks it’s more of a gift to volunteer
than it is to be the receiver of
the volunteer’s help. She has
volunteered for many churches and
other youth organizations in the past.
“I said yes to volunteering for
Project Patch because I was asked
after being recommended by a
friend,” Gini explains. She says she
is a Christian who likes to live out
her faith, and helping here at Patch
was one way she could accomplish
that. For the past four months, Gini
has volunteered at the Project Patch
office, cleaning up our large data
base, and helping with office tasks.
We’d like to say “Thank you” to Gini!
If you are interested in becoming more
involved with our mission, send an
email to Tbrooks@projectpatch.org.
July 16-19 Family Experience
July 21-25 Booth at Oregon Camp Meeting
July 29-31 Parenting Seminar
Aug. 5-8 Chuck and Tom at ASI Spokane
Aug.11-14 Family Experience Week Day
Sept. 3-6 Family Experience
Sept. 17-20 Family Experience Boys Alumni
Oct. 22-25 Family Experience
Nov. 5-8 Family Experience Girls Alumni
Nov. 19-22 Family Experience
Dec. 3-6 Family Experience
Calendar of Events
Child Participant’s Drawing: The Four Personalities