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Sophia Williams
COM 4005
Prof. Johnson
December 8, 2012
This I Believe Speech
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Men are respectable only as they respect.” This brilliant
quote is one that I now live by each day. I now truly hold a deep-seated belief in the word
respect.
As a young boy growing up in the small town of Tappahannock, Virginia, respect was
often times never present around me. At home I grew up in a violent setting at the hands of my
abusive stepfather, whom would abuse and hurt my mother. This devastating incident started
from the early age of 7 up until age 13. My stepfather never once showed any respect to my
mother; neither did he show respect to me nor my older sister. For mainly my whole life I did
not quite know what it really meant to show respect, in fact, I did not know what respect really
meant. I absolutely knew I hated my stepfather, did not respect him, and at one particular time, I
vowed that I would kill him for all the times he put his hands on my mom. Even as I got older
into my teenage years and as I began to pursue music, I still had no real understanding of what
respect meant. Furthermore, entering the music industry and signing a record contract at age 15,
did not transform my having a lack of respect for others. By the same token, having started in
the fast-paced music industry quite young did not help me in my struggle to display respect. All
that I have been through growing up has been the fuel that has lit my unfortunate 2009 incident
with my ex-girlfriend Rihanna.
In no way am I trying to escape the responsibilities of my actions on the night of February
8, 2009 by directly blaming my stepfather actions. As you all recall on that night I got into a

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heated argument with my ex-girlfriend Rihanna. I was caught in a lie and the more I denied her
accusations were the more persistent she became and the more enraged I became. I was not
myself that night; it felt as if an evil spirit got hold of my mind and entire body and turned me
into the abusive person that I saw in my stepfather as a young kid. It hurts when I think back on
that night, because I never imagined that I would have behave so viciously and cruel to a woman
who I deeply cared for and loved. It is even more troubling to know that I was repeating the
exact same behavior of my stepfather. I have always promised myself and my mom that I would
never disrespect nor put my hands on any woman after witnessing the horrors and torments my
mom had to painfully endure. So how could I have perpetrated the very things that I absolutely
promised I would never do? My response is that I never took the time to acknowledge the
importance and value of respect for myself and others because I was not raised in a respectable
home.
The real problem I faced was that I did not realize that the behavior I saw from my
stepfather would have permanently scarred my personality and attitude so badly. Always I have
imagined that being a singer and performing on stage would automatically give me the green
light of having no recollection of the abuse and lack of respect I saw in my home. Sadly I
figured to get by in the music industry and not be stepped on by anyone, I needed to appear
tough and, if that meant that I had to show disrespect then, so be it. In the early days of my
career, I knew that I never wanted anyone to abuse my character and leave me feeling the hurt
that my mom once felt. Like I have stated before, the music industry being so fast paced, can
break down any singer and tear them apart. Unfortunately for me at times, believe it or not, I
was not always respected as a young artist. Even while having my smash debut single “Run It,”
there were moments where I was turned down for opportunities because I was not yet seen as a

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believable singer with the full package of one day becoming an international superstar.
Moreover, there were industry people who felt that they should have total control over my music
career and would not stop at anything to obtain that power. All these things combined left me
feeling unworthy, but most and worst of all disrespected, again. So what did I decide to do? To
appear tough and sometimes angry in the spotlight and behind the scenes in order to receive the
respect I have never really gotten in my entire life. This tough new image led to life defining
experiences that later developed my advocacy for respect of myself and that of others.
The previously mentioned key events in my life including my unforgettable 2009 incident,
have all positively strengthened and matured my belief in respect. Today, I can now say that I
completely comprehend what it means to offer and receive respect for and from all. My past
actions and outbursts with individuals in the industry and Rihanna were due to my decisions of
not wanting to show respect, believing that so doing would have hurt me; but, what I soon came
to learn was that, deciding to not show respect hurt me greater than I have ever imagined. My
abusive attack on that February night, led me down a trajectory of pain, seclusion, and sadness.
As if I did not endure enough, I was yet again faced with disrespect from so many people across
the globe. I was no longer “Chris Brown the Superstar,” instead I was “Chris Brown the
Monster.”
My incident alone did not entirely transform who I am. My favorite artist of all time,
Michael Jackson was a key influence to my strengthened belief in respect. During my court trial
in Los Angeles and community service in Virginia, often times I reflected on the many months
Michael went back and forth to court to face charges of child sexual abuse. What stood out for
me watching Michael go back and forth was that never once did he display any form of anger or
disrespect for anyone inside and outside the courtroom, despite being in the midst of a chaotic

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media presence and insulting verbal attacks from people. Reflecting upon this helped me to have
more faith and belief in myself that I too can overcome the darkness of that night and move
forward in presenting a positive and humble image of myself.
Moving forward and developing this image, has led me to get involved in strategically
helping others develop a better self image while I attended a domestic abuse program, the latter
which was required of me. Committing to doing these two things became the foundation for me
to gain the confidence to personally attend anger management classes that enriched my
personality and my approach to every situation. All resulted in me having greater and more
valuable life experiences. Likewise everywhere I travel, I humbly show respect in ways that
were unbeknownst to me, though this development has not been an easy task. Its’ challenges
taught me that life will throw a lot of problems and troubles your way but what should be
remembered is how you got back up and moved forward from the troubles of your past.
Renewing my image brought me to church—a place where I was, at one point, ashamed
and afraid to go after 2009. To be honest, going to church was much harder than going to court.
My mishap in 2009 left myself and many others feeling disappointed in my behavior. It would
not be easy to once again gain everyone’s trust and respect. I realized that I must first rebuild my
relationship with God in order to rebuild my relationship with the rest of society. I then began to
attend church and ask for forgiveness, seek prayers, and receive God’s spirit. This led me to
baptize and turn away from my sins and commit to real change in my life. Since then I have
been able to influence so many young individuals, which has been such a wonderful learning
experience. Being able to humbly show respect and carry myself in a positive light is something
I take great pride in doing. I am very grateful to every person who worked tirelessly in getting
me to the point where I am. My experiences have taught me not to be so quick to retaliate in any

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situation. Retaliation can lead to a downward spiral that may be very hard for anyone to recover
and grow from. In final, my message to everyone is to work hard to positively change your life
and become a better you, because a better you can inspire others to better themselves and
develop a greater society for all, and this I believe.