1. Russ Barbee
Cool Uncles
by Russ Barbee
It started innocently enough,
sitting in his lap,
barely out of diapers,
comic book in his hands.
Pretty four color adventures
Who's that? Captain America.
Who's that? Nick Fury.
Steranko drew this
Sanko?
sounded like a coffee commercial
to my four year old ears
a Spider-Man action figure
changes it all,
then it's "Ma, buy me a comic — pleeeease?"
Two years later,
Power Records Presents
The Curse of the Werewolf
surreal sounds from a scratchy record player
four years more and I'm ten
then its weekend Creature Features
The Howling
nightmares of werewolves
and creeping fears of impending doom
Will C.'s Red Eye Cinema
and pulling the blanket up
tight around my neck
to keep me safe from the vampires
The Greatest American Hero on tv
running around in costume so much
lighthearted and having fun
the nickname 'Ralph' sticks
A couple years more and its
Championship Wrestling from Florida
The Great Muta is an enigma—
from the land of the Rising Sun

2. Russ Barbee
1987, road trip to the comic book store
and a Predator at the movies
Arnold fights "one ugly mudda-fucka"
amazing creature makeup job,
a semblance of
Wolverine's claws on the big screen
totally freaks us out
Stan Winston locked in memory forever
The next year his first son is born
Patrick is a neat little fella,
I admit I was jealous
Two years later and Adam comes along
The trips to the book store grow less and less
Still a little jealous
but these two boys get cool toys
and all four of us play with them
Ten years pass and we all end up at Comicon
Still gather for the occasional wrestling event
still watching creature features
at least the first half
he enters a nasal log sawing contest
through the second half
cracks me up every time
How does he not wake himself up making that racket?
November 1998
My first Niece is born
now it's my chance to be the cool uncle
comic books and science fiction
video games and heavy metal
Now I fall asleep during the second half
sawing my own logs while she laughs at me
At some point I called her 'Squirt'
and the nickname stuck