Adam's english assignment, Johnson, Mr. Johnson, Fate, Luck, Story

1. Adam Young
English B2
9/11/2009
“A Wonderful Stroke of Luck, or was it Fate?(oh neya!)”
I was playing Nintendo when I looked up and saw a frightening sight in the
window. I saw a dark ghastly silhouette. The figure looked to be about ten foot tall and it
had large sharp fingers similar to that of a crab’s pincers. It was
extremely frightening, I threw my “Wii-mote” but I forgot the
wrist strap was still on so I didn’t actually throw it, but you get
the idea. I ran to the door and grabbed my Automatic
Kalashnikov assault rifle. I kicked the door down with my
foot, and began firing. The rifle hissed and whined many
sequential high pitched “clinks”. I spent four magazines on
this creature, but it was unheeded. It slowly sauntered towards
me like a zombie from a Hollywood horror film. It grabbed my
assault rifle and threw it through the door at an amazing
velocity that shattered the door into many splinters. Then the
crablike creature looked at me with a look of 10,000 years of
hate and bloodlust. It wrapped its pincers around me and put me into a death grab. But it
was a gentle loving sort of death grab. Then it released, and the creature cracked a warm
and sympathetic smile.
He hugged me. He was reaching out to human kind in a loving manner similar to
the way we would reach out to alien creatures on their home planet. It was amazing luck
that the crab showed up to my house, and not one of my redneck hate-crazed neighbors
who would have surely killed the creature and launched our planet into an intergalactic
war. The crablike creature introduced himself in perfect English. I figured he must’ve
studied our language from a distance for millions of years, his English in fact was much
better than my own.
“Hello good sir, my name is Farkotha Gnarci.”
He said in a loud clear voice.
“Wassup? I’m Adam. Where are you from?”
I responded.
“I am from Trakken a distant moon of the planet Gallithroy”
I was not impressed since I was a total nerd who played Wii all day, I knew exactly
where he was from. I knew it was a boring moon with very few Cyborgian princesses. I
responded very sarcastically,
“Oh awesome, I’m from Earth.”
We talked on throughout the afternoon, we became great friends. We had
exceptionally similar personality traits. We both enjoyed iced tea. We both liked Reebok
tennis shoes. We were truly meant to be best friends. He stayed at my house that night in
my spare bedroom. My parents didn’t seem to mind, or notice.

2. The next day; I woke up, brushed my teeth, and ran to catch the bus. Farkotha was
confused, so I just told him to follow me. I figured nobody at school would mind, or
notice. We climbed aboard the bus. Farkotha was reluctant because apparently he had a
phobia of the color yellow. I calmed his fears and we grabbed a seat in the front. Several
minutes later we arrived at school. Mr. Schrank was there greeting us, as per usual. I
shook his hand, and Farkotha gave him a nod. Schrank gave Farkotha the stink eye, and
asked me,
“So Adam is this your cousin you’ve been telling me about.”
“Yahhhhh”
I said in a shaky dishonest tone.
We passed him by, then I saw Miguel I nodded as I walked by he nodded back,
and he didn’t even seem to notice my extraterrestrial associate. Miguel was in his zone,
he was on a mission to deliver the bulletin to every class before the bell rang. So it was
perfectly reasonable for him not to notice.
Next we proceeded to my first class, Honors Advance-Astro-Micro-chemistry-
physics IV, which happened to be taught by least favorite teacher Mr. Johnson. Mr.
Johnson () was the cruelest teacher at the school, he always found a way to ruin
people’s perfect day. He teased and tormented Lindsay, made not so subtle
foreshadowings to Ryan’s inevitable death, and his legs would “coincidentally” give out
around Colt (destroying Colt’s workspace required for his education). The second
Farkotha and I walked into Mr. Johnson’s classroom fell on the floor pointing and
laughing at Farkotha. I was very offended, Farkotha began to cry. Johnson was relentless
however. Johnson hollered in hysteria,
“This alien is so tubboey!”
Granted Farkotha might’ve been a little overweight, yet Johnson was way out of place
making a cruel remark such as this. He continued with a smirk asking,
“What do you call an overweight ET like this one?”
The class, which was also plagued with malicious laughter, responded
“I dunno, what?”
Johnson responded loudly,
“An extra-cholesterol!!!”
The classroom erupted in laughter. I had had enough. I whipped out my glock and
busted some caps in Johnson’s face. Just kidding, violence is bad. I was very angry
however. So I yelled at Mr. Johnson
“Hey you with the pony tail!”
He was still on the floor laughing, so I continued in a sharp stern voice,
“MR. JOHNSON BEHAVE YOURSELF!”
My bellow was all for not as Mr. Johnson continued his immaturities. Then,
suddenly, a random crater opened up. Johnson fell, at a rate of 9.8m/s into this bottomless
pit o’ doom. This was an incredible stroke of luck. This meant that Farkotha and I could
go on and finish the school day without being laugh at and mocked. I truly was a happy

3. man, and Farkotha truly was a happy Trakkenoid. This historic event was meant to be,
the death of Mr. Johnson unquestionably saved the lives of Lindsey and Colt (Ryan’s
death was inevitable however). Had Johnson not have plummeted to his doom, Colt and
Lindsey would’ve surely killed themselves from the humility and anguish that was
weighing them down.