1. Developing your Academic Language
Look at the three versions of text below. What is changing each time and howis it
improving?
Original Better Even better
People generally think that
naughty children should be
punished. Is punishment
always a great idea (Smith,
2015)? I think it’s terrible
to only punish them!
It is generally thought that
poor behaviour in the
classroomshould be
punished. However, it is
possible that punishment
is not always a suitable
approach to classroomand
behaviour management
(Smith, 2015).
Educationalists have stated
that non-specialists
generally think that poor
behaviour in the classroom
should be punished (Beko,
2005; Ali, 2013). However,
Smith (2015) persuasively
argues that punishment is
not always a suitable
approach to classroomand
behaviour management.
Re-write each phrase, using alternative words that would be better suited for an academic
essay:
Smith’s research has had a massive impact on how we view science today.
In a nutshell, the research shows….
This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the model wouldn’t work.
There is lots of evidence showing that…
2. Can you fill in the gaps in the extract below with some appropriate signposting and
transition words and phrases?
To celebrate the contribution that the LGBTcommunity has made to society, as this is LGBT
History Month, the passage is about the scientist Alan Turing.
In the mid-1930s, the mathematician Alan Turing devised a mechanical process that
would answer yes or no to a logical statement and conjectured that these machines
could compute anything that was computable. -----------, it is argued that he
developed an early definition of computability though the theoretical construction of
the ‘Turing machine’, as it became known. ------------- the ‘Turing machine’
implementing a sequence of finite instructions, there needed to be a memory that
could hold intermediate results. This was a data tape and a read-write head where
symbols could be read from and written on the tape. --------------, if either end of the
tape were about to move beyond the read-write head, and --------------- more tape
would be spliced. ------------ demonstrating that there was no way to solve the
potential problem of the machine halting and getting stuck in a loop, he deduced
that he could simulate the instructions applied to the input on the tape.--------------,
the ‘universal Turing machine’ is a theoretical analogue of today’s computer
hardware
3. Using what you know about academic writing, highlight and correct the errors in academic
style and expectations. How else could this L7 student improve theiruse of academic
language?
Patients at end of life often think that ANH is the provision of food and water rather than a
medical intervention. Attitudes of physicians can influence the less informed patient about
the potential benefit versus burden of interventions and their impact on survival and quality
of life. Bito and Asai (2007) did a survey on health care professionals (HCPs) to find out their
approaches and attitudes toward end of life care interventions - HCPs themselves faced
uncertainty with decisions regarding ANH which I agree with because these situations are
heart-breaking. Although the professionals who sought clinical ethics consultations could
communicate much better and were more likely to consider withdrawal of tube feeding.
Some writers have said that HCPs’ opinion or choice of treatments could be altered in
conflict avoidance with families wishing to ditch a patient’s advance directive. Broeckaert et
al (2009) said a HCP can influence decisions with their own opinions on interventions,
including religiosity and life experiences of withholding and withdrawal of ANH. Although
HCPs trained in Palliative Care, with more clinical experience in dying and alleviation of
palliative symptoms, would be significantly more likely to support dehydration and
starvation in the terminal phases of life, as opposed to acute care physicians and the families
of patients in the end stage of disease (Van der Riet et al 2008).
In the box below, identify one aspect of your use of academic language you feel confident
about and one you would like to improve on. How will you make those improvements?
