Persian Magazine complete Designed by Rakesh Patel.

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29. Bedford & Melton Kings
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Birmingham
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Manchester
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Portsmouth
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Woking
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30. Reflections of a Father:
The Sudden Death of My Daughter, Bahar Sakha
By Dr G S Sakha 30th March 2013
Spring. My favourite season. Crisp, fresh and renewing. Gently leading us from the
darkness and shivers of winter to the warmth, brightness and glow of summer. Bahar is
the name of my daughter. In the language of the heart of the Silk Road it means spring.
It was in the spring of 2013 as the daffodils start appearing on the earthly verges, gardens
and parks of London, when my youngest daughter, Bahar suddenly collapsed / passed away and left us shocked,
devastated and the hurt. O, the indescribable paternal hurt.
So far, I had fulfilled my duty as a father and spouse and, by the Grace of God, rescued my family and offered
them the opportunity of a good life albeit on a distant land in the UK. Apart from an asthma attack , there were
no significant medical issues of note. Her childhood asthma rarely bothered her again and her medical, mental
and spiritual health as a teenager and young adult were generally very good as far as we knew. On the family
side, however, there is a family history of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer and high cholesterol. Bahar
preferred a warm cup of green tea with cardamom and almonds, sultanas and walnuts while watching a movie or
documentary on her laptop or on the sofa with her family, instead of cigarettes, alcohol and recreational drugs,
having always refused them.
She was a much loved, beautiful, bubbly, bright, caring, wonderful girl. She was a t St marks Primary school, The
Ellen Wilkinson High School for Girls and completed her Law degree at London Metropolitan university a few
weeks ago, having been informed that her graduation ceremony was to be held in October 2013 and had plan
to start a Masters degree this year. She had bought dresses from Istanbul, Turkey, for her sister’s wedding in the
autumn, and wanted to change her local landscape and volunteered at the Citizens Advice Bureau in Hammersmith
amongst supporting other good causes. Bahar had grand ambitions to shape the world and contribute positively
to global issues such as women’s rights, the right to education for all and the promotion of religious freedom in
Europe, democracy and unity in Afghanistan. She was elected the Chairperson of the Afghan Students Association,
ASA UK, an online-based platform for promotion of further and higher education to Afghan students in the UK
with over a thousand members, and organized educational, religious and cultural events. Bahar had talked many
times about moving to Afghanistan to establish an educational charity in Afghanistan, especially promoting girls
education, her planned future efforts to help victims of the fallout caused by the consequences of war. She said
that for every school that was opened, one prison would be shut down, and that if you educate a man you educate
an individual, but if you educate one woman you educate a nation, because mothers are the universities for their
children. However, all seemed perfectly routine and normal on Sunday evening 24th March 2013. I had dropped
off my eldest daughter and her children to her house and came home and asked my wife “where is Bahar? I would
like to borrow her laptop”. My wife said “she was watching TV with us and she went upstairs to her room to rest
five minutes ago”. It was 8:30pm.
I went upstairs and experienced something no father should ever go through. I found my daughter unconscious
and not breathing, slumped on the side of the bed, her two feet on the ground and head turned to one side as if she
was trying to get out of bed and had not managed. She looked extremely pale and her hands were white as snow
and cold to the touch. She was completely unresponsive and her eyes were shut. My eldest son, Shafiq Sakha, had
already called an ambulance.
We were not allowed into the treatment area of the casualty ward and sat and waited. Agony. The fear and worry was
overwhelming but our love for her meant that we could never lose hope and we would cling on to every last drop
of hope. It was now 10.30pm. I cannot describe the emotions, stomach wrenching devastation, the tears, the tears,
and shock myself and Bahar’s mother, brother and sisters, Simeen and Kamilia, were feeling. We were all at the
hospital including my son-in-law, Turgay, Cousin Jamil Burna-Asefi, his mother, Hamida Burna-Asefi and other
close family members, uncles and aunts. At midnight the senior casualty doctor, an oriental gentleman dressed in
neat blue scrubs came over to us with a look of despondence and told us privately that they were unable to save my
daughters life, they had done everything they possibly could but the fact was the Bahar was unfortunately dead.
Dead? My Bahar? The period of denial was short, but I could not believe what had just happened. I was in a state
of confusion, bewilderment, shock and devastated and thought about the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’?
30

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