Reframing Conversations of Pleasure for Practical Implementation in the Classroom
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This presentation was part of Embody's Safe Healthy Strong 2015 conference on sexuality education (www.ppwi.org/safehealthystrong). Embody is Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin's education and training programs. Learn more: www.ppwi.org/embody DESCRIPTION Sex education programs face many limitations and public or political opposition that forces key elements of healthy sexual development, such as pleasure, out of curricula. This workshop hopes to change how we typically think about pleasure so that it can be better utilized in the classroom. It will also analyze two dominant sex education curricula in Wisconsin to demonstrate four easy ways the conversation about pleasure can begin even within the many constraints educators face. ABOUT THE PRESENTER Erica Koepsel recently completed a Master's degree in Gender and Women's Studies at University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her research focus is on better incorporating pleasure in sex education. She intends to continue her work in curriculum development and teaching sexual health education.
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Reframing Conversations of Pleasure for Practical Implementation in the Classroom
- 1. REFRAMING CONVERSATIONS OF PLEASURE FOR PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION IN THE CLASSROOM Erica Koepsel, MA erica.koepsel@gmail.com (952) 451-3902
- 2. SESSION GOALS Identify places within our curricula that may leave out information about pleasure – a topic that is important to health and sexual development. Begin thinking about ways to incorporate basic concepts of pleasure within topics you are already teaching. Develop new ways for thinking about what pleasure means in a sex education classroom.
- 3. WHAT IS PLEASURE? Pleasure is the combination of satisfying stimulation to the body, accompanied by psychological feelings of enjoyment.
- 4. WHY REFRAME PLEASURE? Accessibility Inclusivity Equality
- 5. IDENTIFYING PLEASURE DEFICITS Does this curriculum meet national standards regarding pleasure? Are guidelines met? How well are guidelines met? Does this curriculum “connect the dots” or provide useful knowledge? How might this information be useful for students? Why are we teaching this particular information? Does this curriculum balance a focus on negative outcomes of sexual activity with positive outcomes? Are there any positive outcomes that could be discussed? Is there a better way to discuss the negative outcomes so they are less stigmatizing?
- 6. PRACTICE IDENTIFYING PLEASURE DEFICITS Identify the gap(s) Does this curriculum meet national standards regarding pleasure? Does this curriculum “connect the dots” or provide useful knowledge? Does this curriculum balance a focus on negative outcomes of sexual activity with positive outcomes? How would you fill those gaps? New activities? Different language?
- 7. ADDITIONAL EXAMPLES FOR INCORPORATING PLEASURE Anatomy - Anatomical Differences
- 8. ADDITIONAL EXAMPLES FOR INCORPORATING PLEASURE Anatomy - Anatomical Differences Contraception & Anatomy – Lubrication Contraception – Method Selection STIs – Redefining “Safe” Activities
- 9. ADDITIONAL EXAMPLES FOR INCORPORATING PLEASURE Healthy Relationships & Communication Follow Up Questions How did it feel talking about your likes and dislikes with your partner? Did your likes/dislikes ever not match up? What might be some topics you would have in your relationship that you would need to communicate likes and dislikes? e.g. Kissing, PDA around friends, sexually activity/limits, condom selection, contraceptive methods. What do you think it would be like to sit down with a partner and have these conversations? Why are those important conversations to have?
- 10. ADDITIONAL EXAMPLES FOR INCORPORATING PLEASURE Anatomy - Fetal Development and Sex Differentiation Prestructure Biological Female Biological Male Genital Tubercule Clitoris Glans of Penis Labioscrotal swelling Labia Majora Scrotum Urogential Folds Labia Minora Shaft of Penis Urogenital Groove Urinary Opening/Vaginal Opening Groove Closes Gonads Ovaries Testes Urogenital Sinus Skene’s Glands Prostate Prepuce Clitoral Hood Foreskin
- 11. INCLUDING PLEASURE IN ANATOMY Anatomy - Fetal Development and Sex Differentiation
- 12. WRAP-UP What other sex education topics could be useful for incorporating pleasure? What is your next step? QUESTIONS/COMMENTS?
- 13. CITATIONS & THANKS Aracelli Alonso & Jenny Higgins – Gender and Women’s Studies 103 Corinne, Tee. (2003). Cunt Coloring Book. San Francisco, CA: Last Gasp of San Franciso. Douglass, Marcia & Lisa Douglass, “The Orgasm Gap,” in Women’s Health: Readings on Social, Economic and Political Issues 5th Edition. eds. Nancy Worcester and Mariamne H. Whatley, (Dubuque: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 2009), 466 – 479. Fine, Michelle. (1988). Sexuality, Schooling, and Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire. Harvard Educational Review 58(1), 29-53. Ingham, Roger. (2005). ‘We didn’t cover that as school’: education against pleasure or education for pleasure? Sex Education, 5(4), 375-388. King County. (2014). Family Life and Sexual Health Curricula. Mayo Clinic. (2014). Vulva. Retrieved From http://www.mayoclinic.org/vulva/img-20005974. McGarry, Robert. “Build a Curriculum that Includes Everyone.” Kappan Magazine 94, no. 5 (Feb 2013). Milwaukee Public Schools Wellness and Prevention Office. (2011). Human Growth and Development Curriculum: High School Lessons. Retrieved from http://mpsportal.milwaukee.k12.wi.us/portal/server.pt/comm/programs___resources/310/human_growth ___development/42862. Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin. (2011). Safe Healthy Strong: A Comprehensive Sexuality Education Curriculum. Planned Parenthood. (2014). Female Condom. Retrieved from http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/female-condom Tepper, Mitchell S. “Sexuality and Disability: The Missing Discourse of Pleasure.” Sexuality and Disability 18, no. 4 (2000): 283-290. Thanks to: Nathan Peterson Images taken from: www.wedmd.com, www.mayoclinic.org, and medicine.academic.ru
Editor's Notes
- Introduce self – recent MA Graduate this is a thesis excerpt sex educator, curriculum analysis and development for PPWI, TA – GWS 103 Icebreaker – me too game? *finding things in common always makes it easier to talk about sex 6 2 wi7 This analysis mostly come from PPWI & MPS, but also OWL, FLASH, and many other curricula. While each is different, the deficits between programs seem to be common. It’s also important to note that most of these suggestions are for high school aged students. *A brief note on language
- Make it easier to identify gaps in pleasure & make pleasure seem like more manageable of a concept by reframing what counts as pleasure. Keep in mind the curricula you’ve taught, observed, been taught, and are most familiar with throughout the presentation!
- So what is pleasure as it exists in the sex ed classroom? What words come to mind? What do our students & communities think when we say pleasure? **(pause for participant answers) There is no one definition, and for the purpose of this project I give you one that is not purely about physical, sensory response, but also about the psychological aspect of enjoying or not enjoying the activities that are happening. I encourage you to join me in thinking outside of the box when talking about what is considered a topic of pleasure, as I think it allows for much more flexibility within a curricula than we may anticipate. (provide definition) So, what might a psychological feeling of enjoyment mean? Enthusiastic consent Absence of negative preoccupation with genital/body image Feeling of disinhibition I really like this definition because talking of enjoyment also means discussing a lack of enjoyment and the complicated relationship between brain and body. For example regardless of age a person who is taught sex is shameful and only meant for marriage may be able to physically enjoy the act of sex with a partner, but those acts may arouse guilt, anxiety, fear or other mentally unpleasant feelings thus inhibiting the possibility for a pleasurable experience. Certainly there are many other times where this would be valid.
- Restrictions & Accessibility Part is cultural, society isn’t ready for talk about anyone sexual pleasure, let alone adolescents… And, we can’t change the world in a day, but inclusion of pleasure is a process that is starting with all of you. The most important part though, is the restrictions placed on educators. Time (to revamp, to evaluate, to actually present-limit in lesson plans) Resources (funding to train, to pay for research) Energy (while there are great curricula and guidelines out there they are overwhelming when you look at changes that may need to be made to “typical” comprehensive programs – ex of me with revision) Comfort (even we have been socialized to find this a risky subject, we may not be comfortable with it in our own lives, and it feels like something radical and unreasonable to implement) By reframing pleasure we can address some of these concerns & make the concept of pleasure more easy to implement for educators facing restrictions. Inclusivity Classroom can be an exclusive place w/ heteronormative focus on PVI. However, when we try to incorporate pleasure, we also run the risk of being prescriptive in how we expect people to experience pleasure (for example, the emphasis on physical pleasure in the genital region may prohibit us from recognizing pleasure may differ for folks with differing ability status’ or at different ages who experience pleasure through thoughts, words, or touch to different parts of the body.) However, if used broadly, pleasure allows us to change that focus a bit and include marginalized populations based on ability status, sexual experience, sexual orientation, race, and gender identity. I’m not going into much detail here, but if you’re more interested in the theory behind this claim… please follow up with me. By reframing pleasure, the goal is illuminate the potential for pleasure in the context of many identities. By all of that I mean, employing a more holistic understanding of pleasure allows us to use changing narratives & different language
- Using guidelines provides us with a starting point, may make the task of including pleasure seem more attainable, and might provide comfort for those teachers concerned about the acceptance of these topics within a community. I use Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education Developed by SIECUS GIVE HANDOUT SIECUS’s commitment to the inclusion of pleasure and the recognition of variety in sexual experiences offer a firm foundation for and has informed its selection of activities. Think about if the guideline is met or how well a guideline is met to determine if there is a deficit For example, an educator might note that their curriculum mentions masturbation once, in passing, but does not engage with masturbation as a safe and normal activity. Such an observation would likely result in a ranking that indicates minimal emphasis and therefore identifies masturbation as a topic for improvement. ____________________ Is the information useful knowledge or simply knowledge for knowledge’s sake? As instructors, we often tell students something is important to know, but rarely do we tell them why it is important or offer an explanation about how to utilize that information. In order to determine which topics may need better connections, teachers should read through their curriculum, asking explicitly, how might this information be useful to students? And why are we teaching this particular information? For example, clitoris- concentration of nerve endings and uniqueness as being the only organ known to exist only for pleasure. While this information does incorporate pleasure, it only provides students with the knowledge about the clitoris, not what that information actually means to and for them (for example, knowing the clitoris is sensitive, may lead young female-bodied people to believe that all sexual encounters should be enjoyable, and may feel something is wrong with THEM if it isn’t!) To make this information more useful to students (especially in classrooms where PVI often is intentionally the assumed default), instructors might wish to actually mention that the clitoris, while sensitive, will often need direct stimulation for female-bodied people to reach orgasm. By connecting the dots between basic knowledge (that the clitoris is filled with highly sensitive and potentially pleasurable nerve endings) and the application of that knowledge (that the clitoris often needs direct stimulation), more students will be better equipped to make decisions about their sexuality in a healthy manner. ________________ This is probably the most difficult to do… Sex education programs often present sex as something inherently negative where the only possible outcomes of sexual activity are unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Even worse, the language used to talk about STIs, for example, may tend to link contraction of an STI with personal character and construct STI transmission as the end of the world. While it is important to identify that sex can certainly lead to negative outcomes, this universalizing approach may re-stigmatize students in the classroom who have an STI and it also disregards the many more positive motivations for sexual activity and relationships. For every negative outcome suggested in a curriculum, educators may wish to consider two things: first, are there any positive outcomes that could also be discussed and second, is there a better way to discuss the negative outcomes so they are less stigmatizing? A change in language can help teachers shift to a more equitable balance between positive and negative. For example, rather than contributing to the belief that STIs are unique diseases, instructors might wish to acknowledge that much like the flu or a common cold, STIs are simply communicable viruses and bacteria. By framing STIs similarly to other common illnesses, we may be able to destigmatize STIs and encourage more frequent testing among students. This practice allows for conversations about risk to be honest and open, but not accusing of students in the classroom.
- Ask participants to get into small groups (10-15 minutes) HAND OUT LESSON PLANS In small groups, work with the provided lesson plan excerpts and see where you identify a gap in communicating about pleasure, and then brainstorm ways to fill that gap! Topics are, Healthy Relationships, Anatomy, Contraception, and STIs While you’re looking through these also consider where you think the gaps may be in your own curricula Bring groups back together and write ideas on flip chart paper?
- These suggestions come from a vast array of sources, some are new and some are pulled and compiled from other sources. I’m only highlighting a few here but there are more in the handout I provided. HANDOUT APPENDIX One of the easiest ways to contribute to greater pleasure and increase self-image is to change the diagrams we use to teach about anatomy Many students and even adults are uncomfortable with how we look “down there” and a big part of that is that we don’t know what vulvas and pensises are “supposed” to look like. 1st we need to make sure they are portraying realistic expectations that aren’t just hairless, symmetrical, and rosy. Add hair to your diagrams as PPWI did or work to make lips asymmetrical and different colored! 2nd we need to portray variety! FLASH curriculum does this very well!
- 2. You’ll notice in the contraception lesson we talk about condoms, and “tips” for making condom use better, but we really don’t talk about the function of lubrication! Lubrication, with or without condoms helps make penetrative activity safer and often more enjoyable. Unfortunately, there’s a notion among people (mainly females) my age that synthetic lubrication is “less real” than natural vaginal lubrication so we need to work on making it more common and acceptable by mentioning lubrication throughout our lessons. Obviously, this can happen in contraceptive methods when talking about condoms, but can also be brought up in anatomy lessons about sexual response processes and variation – also partner communication. 3. So one way that I want us to include pleasure into the contraceptive lessons is to ask students, “why would someone in a sexual relationship select one method over another?” *And have audience answer, why would they? Allow time for answers to be shared then move on. What about how it impacts their sexual life? You’re right ____, _____, ____ are all important factors, but let’s encourage ourselves and our students to think beyond the normal parameters provided to think about ways contraceptive methods can lead to disinhibition or less worrying. Which methods do you think could contribute to increased pleasure because there is less worry? Another way methods can increase pleasure is to facilitate greater intimacy. How do you think contraceptive methods could do that? When talking about contraception we can talk about how contraceptive methods can actually enhance pleasure either directly or indirectly. Above was more of an indirect (and slightly theoretical) way to get to the concept. -More concretely, when presenting contraceptive examples we can add in the statement - Some people really like this method because… For internal/female condoms this could include, (I can put it in early and not ‘interrupt the mood’ or during PVI the internal ring can stimulate the tip of the penis and the external ring can stimulate the clitoris directly). How might you fill in this statement for other methods to emphasize the way that contraception can also be about pleasure? If students are already sexually active, why wouldn’t we want to encourage use of contraception by appealing to their desires for a healthy and pleasurable sex life? 4. When talking about STIs we only ever talk about how sexual activity carries with it inherent risk… Such a focus makes it hard for sexual activity to ever seem positive – however, by recognizing that some activities, such as masturbation or mutual masturbation can be pleasurable and safe, we can develop more acceptance for such a taboo subject and change narratives so that students are allowed to experience pleasure!
- Sex ed spends a lot of time teaching students how to say “no” or “refuse” sexual advances, but never how to initiate them, how to talk about their limitations, and even how to discuss particular likes and dislikes. Feeling comfortable discussing sexual activity with a partner can greatly enhance pleasure. NOT realistic for us to go in and have students practice talking about sexual likes and dislikes with other classmates But I’d like to prepare them with the skills to have that conversation, because talking about things you like and don’t like in relation to another person are awkward, even with an intimate partner. In order to get to this conversation, we are going to do this activity and I think it could replace any number of partner communication exercises. So, please get into pairs or groups of three, and send one representative from your group to come select an object, without looking out of this box. Then with your partners, I want you to have a conversation about 5 thinks you like or don’t like about the object. Partners/group members should take turns, only sharing 1-2 likes or dislikes at a time. Partners may ask questions to further understand the other persons likes or dislikes, but only immediately after the information is shared. Particpants are encourage to use all their sense, include feel!! This will likely be a little bit awkward and so I’ll give an example first. Once each group is complete, I’ll have some follow up questions for you… Follow up questions – click on? I would definitely link this to knowing your partners limits and if possible methods of consent and the conversations that have to happen for that. Anytime we talk about communication we should incorporate aspects of consent…
- Another way to include pleasure is to address the similarities between the two sexes we’ve constructed as so different from one another. Please get back into your small groups and I want you to work together to sort the deck of cards so that there are three cards in every set. In each set there should be a prestructure, a female body part, and a male body part. Because many of us are unfamiliar, I’ve marked what those things considered Prestructures with a “P” in the upper right corner to make it a bit easier. Work as a group and see what you come up with. *CLICK ON CHART for answers* This activity can be used as a review of the material or an introduction, and can be done with or without the prestructure card – but should get students to think about which “typical male” body parts are similar to “typical female” body parts. To give a brief overview of fetal development now so we’re all on the same page - Fetal Development is how a fetus develops during pregnancy, and sex differentiation is the way in which “pre-structures” develop both internally and externally into sexual and reproductive organs, which we often label as male or female. This development is influenced by chromosomal make up, but is also dependent upon hormone levels and hormone receptors. I like to use this chart, and you can use something like this with students, to show how all bodies have the same pre-structures (which I’ll show you in images next), and the “bipotential” to develop in any way, regardless of chromosomal make up. While we construct this as having the end points of “male” or “female” there are a multitude of ways in which bodies can naturally develop internally and externally. I’m going to now show a diagram, and while I’m focusing mostly on the external component, know that this goes for internal sexual and reproductive organs as well. CHANGE SLIDES *again a note – trying to break down gender binaries is hard so make sure to reinforce that these are book ends that we’ve created!
- In this diagram we see a good visual of how external genitalia differentiate, as well as how similar or indistinguishable external genitals are even after 10 weeks. Visualizing the way development occurs, allows us to do two things: First, It may help older students understand how bodies have similar pleasure potential because of similar tissues Just because people with penises may orgasm easier from one type of sexual activity, does not mean that bodies that required different activities or more time are deficient. Second, Visualizing the way development occurs, allows us to think about the ways that subtle changes throughout the process may result in genitals that have developed all along a spectrum with a very defined penis, a very defined vulva, or something less defined that may resemble either or neither, and may be referred to as “intersex development”. Intersex development is rarely visual, and is a term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that does not seem to fit the typical definitions of male or female. And while we want to do this without using intersex bodies as a specimen, talking through variations in development really allow us to see that genitals exist along a spectrum and reinforces the notion that difference in genital formation is normal, and hopefully creates a place in the classroom for folks who maybe haven’t seen their body represented in the classroom before. As mentioned before, there are no resources for student to compare what their genitals look like to how they are “supposed” to look so we as educators needs to do our best to inform them of the variation that exists among their peers. This information on differentiation has the potential to… Give students realistic expectations about their and future partners genitals while also hopefully addressing an unhealthy preoccupation with their appearance. Increase student potential for a healthy sexual life by linking a comfort with ones own body to the potential for physical and psychological experiences of pleasure.
- If you’ve found this useful – I’m looking for in school educators who are interested in furthering this project by looking at my thesis in it’s entirety and providing feedback. If you are interested in helping in this capacity – please e-mail me or catch up with me after this! Now… We’re all in a different teaching situation and so where we go from here is different for each individual. We may still be getting comfortable with the idea of pleasure in our own lives, be navigating a challenging community, or be improving upon a curricula that already includes pleasure. Pleasure doesn’t have to mean we are teaching adolescents how to have sex, we are providing them tools to create a sexually healthy future. If portrayed positively can enhance pleasure in ways we maybe never considered. I hope you’ve all found this useful and intend to leave and incorporate at least one concept of pleasure into your conversations about sexual health. I also hope you are empowered to walk away with not just my ideas, but to create your own ideas To try implementing 1 or 2 things each time you teach that you’ve maybe never tried before.