1. Nathaniel James Shaw, Mental Health Advocate
June 2nd, 2015
RE: Outreaching and positive growth in the world of treatment with a focus on co-occurring
issues
To Those Concerned:
It is believed there is and if not should be the kind of help entity geared or structured for the
best outcome and benefit of those human lives having the many problems faced with in their
individual and unique journeys through life. From those at the top levels of living life without
a care to worry about due to such high class status to that lost child and as well older adult
deep in the ghetto there should and sometimes can be found better quality solutions of a
more REAL and direct nature in dealing with the many personalities under the guise of mental
and addictive illnesses. These two issues in life happening on a continuous basis in today’s
capacity do not seem to be given the best in actually securing solutions to problems faced
with in both these complicated worlds. Both these issues as well have merged over the past to
be included as maybe one kind of illness or issue known as co-occurring or dual diagnoses.
Before I go on there should maybe be formal introduction of myself and my level of thought in
this expression concerning such an important topic:
At almost 64 years old I am a black man raised in Seattle, Washington’s ghetto. I am also a
gay man preferring to be conservative at my age today and not the flaunting personality I
once lived in my youth. Prison came into my life at age twenty-one after all the jail and
probation time that only found me more shut down to the possibilities of a positive life. Prison
institution to the contrary was an experience allowing me to open up with the finding of
visual arts and the education achieved from my GED including two associate degrees all

2. earned behind bars over the 1970s and 80s. Addiction was a major disease that found its way
in my life beginning with a cigarette habit at age eleven. A dysfunctional home can indeed
have love in it but if alcoholism and other addictions along with the kind of ignorance and
infection that get in the way of a positive rearing are found; problems do become evident as
listed including another huge issue of dropping out of school which I did in the tenth grade.
Today I am over twenty years into recovery from addiction. Over the past fifteen years I had
been searching to find and fill the void in my life felt so strange after addiction. This is when I
found out about my mental condition of being bi-polar. I never gave my mental capacity after
the “high” a second thought let alone the first. It was hard to stay ever ready to find this void
within due to what was a negative feeling keeping me from the positive pursuit for life
thought to happen after giving up addiction. Didn’t know the REAL work was waiting for me
after surrendering a life of addiction I knew I did not want. Physically I found the problems of
epilepsy and other medical issues I would have to learn how to deal with the rest of my life
after finding abstinence from addiction at age 41. In doing so I believe being gifted with visual
art talent and going back to school all achieved in prison were God-given in preparing me for
what I am into today with emotional feeling for another brotha and sista of whatever color or
sexual desire wanting and needing help. I want to let it be known that even though I am only
one unique individual among all the rest; making it to safe ground is more doable than it may
seem in entities with a ‘less than’ kind of environment for change.
Others in middle and upper class homes can and do find many of these problems in the home
if the parent(s) are engaged in their careers to a point that the son or daughter has to raise
themselves or as well the parent(s) also have the problem of especially alcoholism. It is known
how any financial level of youth many times suffer the wraths of rape and molestation with
the mental issues that many times come into play. Being spoiled to the point of not having
achieved any sense of responsibility and the like in that wealthy home environment may just
be another expression of a dysfunctional atmosphere to grow up in. There are so many
reasons and its causes for all the mental let downs occurring among so many. This is why I

3. mention the scope of mental awareness and its help with more solutions and dealing more on
an intense level in opening up more avenues and roads that can indeed be traveled to victory.
There is seen and heard as well as my having become involved in volunteer work in an effort
to do more outreaching to troubled areas such as client care and older adult facilities.
Volunteering is a great way for one to become involved and begin the gathering of the
knowledge process in becoming part of the major help process. But for some in this category
volunteering can stand in the way of his or her own progress if school, family and home
responsibilities among other aspects of life get in the way of the less than twenty hours a
month spent putting together a solid spectrum of knowledge for helping. Many of those
volunteering have been through their own dilemmas with mental and other issues which can
cause problems if that individual is not secured and stable in his or her challenge for life that
mental pressures can bring about. Many reasons will need just as many alternatives and
solutions in making a REAL and solid program of Recovery in our communities’ work which of
course includes everybody on both sides of what should not be a ‘fence’.
I recall a kind of outpatient program where I found abstinence from active addiction. Instead
of the philosophy of ‘Housing First’ this particular program seemed to favor getting the client
into the active beginnings of responsibility. Thus they offered a work-training atmosphere of
reuniting lost essential living elements back into the lives of those now living in shelters, on
the streets of homelessness, long years of addiction, broken families and the like. To
accomplish the work-training with beginning minimum wage pay was done through the
merging contract with its city in putting the many to work. There was the truck driving units
who trained in street cleaning and more upgraded type work for the city. An example was the
city’s execution of replacing the homes in its city with ‘water-saving’ shower heads. There was
a facility for those in training with its director, counseling, medical and training staff.
Counseling staff did more than push the paperwork necessary for the continued operation of
this facility. As experienced; I became a trainee/client at this site that continued while
continuing my addiction for five months into this program. But after the urine testing and

4. their having to take control of the money I was making because of their knowledge of my only
using it to continue an addiction, missing the therapy groups and the like along with the
constant pressure put on my addiction; I found a space early enough in this process to come
to them with wanting to take advantage of the growing opportunities that were there for
me if I wanted them. I knew this meant I had to give up the negative life that had me living
out of shelters with an “I don’t care” attitude. I wanted to be able to advance to living in one
of the several apartment complexes with my own kitchen and bathroom not to be shared
with other negative minds living in such as the shelters and streets, old crack hotels and of
course in the ghettos of project housing and the like. The taking control of my own finances
due to my not being responsible with the line of what was only self-duties in taking care of
myself and preparing for advancement in the program, graduation from the program and
positive employment thereafter found my own thinking pattern coming back to these people
with positive progress in making the final decision done to make a full change – a turnaround
from anymore drugs and alcohol. This allowed me to achieve, within weeks, the one
apartment I lived in throughout the process of this program after my own surrender from
addiction. I graduated and became assistant manager of this hundred plus apartment unit I
lived in having achieved a position as one of the downtown patrol bike helpers (Ambassadors)
that are also seen in this city of Los Angeles – Metropolitan Improvement District (MID).
Unlike this city here in Los Angeles, MID back in Seattle wanted to try someone with at least
five years off parole as part of this team that continues with success to this day.
Unfortunately my epilepsy found a gran-mal seizure that could not allow me to be an
Ambassador. But the downside of this experience did not send me back ‘out there’ fully
equipped with the “I’m a failure” attitude. There is much more to my own outcome from this
point but what I want to express is how such a workable program got me to the point of not
giving up and wanting so very much to continue on. The groups including the Anonymous
society allowed me to face much of my deficits already made in life and giving me the desire
to salvage what I could and move on.

5. Staying on top of the client’s deficits instead of allowing the client to get off the streets with
housing from what I continue to believe is a weak contract with Section 8 may be contrary to
the kind of help needed in getting that human life to make his or her own turnaround a
reality. In this help program back home for what they term as at-risk adults was the upgraded
atmosphere I continue to express in other programs of similar quality here in Los Angeles but
find that this kind of program does not match up to the requirements or guidelines of the kind
of program they are running – even though this city works with Section 8 for housing
compared to working with the city in Seattle for employment training leading to housing that
this program helps to render as well. For a client to be able to achieve housing he or she must
indeed be able to handle the kind of essential responsibilities that will allow progress to
follow. I lived in the housing unit at this program for over six years before taking off for
Atlanta, Georgia. In this complex I paid an average thirty percent of the actual rent cost which
was less than $300 a month. I made over $800 a month and was never late with my rent and
other responsibilities needed to live and with faith progress which I did experience becoming
an Ambassador for MID. I even took up a third associate degree while living in this unit. Such
was not requested of me but instead found through my own self-awareness and desire for
positive change in my life. I must ask if this is the kind of help that seeks to achieve the
gateway needed for REAL change compared to being audited and sometimes shut down
because of the ‘paperwork’ process needed to continue getting the grants and such that may
only be seen as a paycheck for what is supposed to be a workable staff? Is not a workable
staff a set of folks brainstorming together to provide the needed elements that will at least
give that human life a REAL chance for a positive life? Does not brainstorming or simply a
workable entity meet and interact together to come up with the ideas and inputting them
into its system in order to make changes actually happen? Why is there not something like
urine testing that would find out if someone living in a section 8 unit is still using after a
required time without making that effort to deal with his or addiction and/or mental issues?
Looking at co-occurring cliental there is found how one can ‘hide-out’ under this mental
diagnoses while continuing the other side of co-occurring – if I am correct in assessing this
disease as mental issues also having addictive issues that make for the problems that come

6. about in this scope of illness. Again I am not the PhD who knows the scientific scope of this
problem but instead one looking at life today long after my own active addiction. I do know
what I felt as part of a norm wanting at least another way of life away from the nightmare
suffered up to that point in life before giving it that REAL effort. It is known how dangerous
atmospheres with the same old people, places and things have its setbacks for that one
thinking of a possible way out. For me I began looking for “that easy way out”, “that get rich
plan” and all the stinkin’ thinkin’ never allowing me to find out that a REAL challenge was
needed in grabbing ahold of something positive. And it was ventured and seen how the hard
work paid off even with the setbacks and let downs that did indeed occur. Such was no match
for the continued horrible life that felt like the glue in its final drying stages – if you can relate
such to the giving up seen so openly on the streets of homelessness, jails/prisons, ghettos and
death.
A community center is a place open for a group of folks with basically the same goals in mind
where such can be shared and also where this kind of brainstorming can occur. Is this kind of
environment supposed to be a dark and dismal arena containing maybe a flat screen TV and
other unkempt elements for change? What about the thought process of those taking part in
such a space? What are their aspirations? Finding out would take maybe another therapy
kind of group specifically geared toward the positives of life coming from the clients of this
center. What would you want to focus on in a space like this that was casually available to
you? Let them bring up the areas of health, music, education, religion, creativity and the like.
Personally I have always found music to be a wonderful tool for communication on a positive
level. There is an age group that would have a great time with the history of the major areas
of music compared to the youth creating today’s RAPP for success. Sessions that discussed the
stages of a positive program and moving up its ladder of success would do well in community
centers of such status where Anonymous meetings along with dances and celebrations for
holidays and REAL involvement with events such as Black History Month –something to
actually sink one’s teeth into – were part of the many activities. One-on-one counseling I

7. believe starts with that counselor being on the same thinking pattern among the rest with the
goal of achieving that relationship with the client in pursuit of progress. Progress does not
seem to be a go when a client continues their involvement over a period of five to seven years
only to find “ANOTHER” thirty days clean. How can change become at least a subject for the
counselor and the client after three months? To answer this question I ask that maybe the
outline of the at-risk adult program be looked at again with the focus of their counseling staff
making the outreaching effort to assure the client is aware of his or her problem and their
need to follow up on any positive changes that need to happen over a substantial period of
time. This is not pressure but indeed a way to separate those wanting and those not ready
yet. Not allowing any growth in the program with housing and graduation with a positive job
opportunity until he or she decides to come clean with the desire for at least sobriety is the
kind of start needed instead of what I have seen as stagnation in programs with no
motivational tactics in place.
And what may I ask is stagnation? At my level and its observation, endurance and today’s
view after my own yesterday; stagnation in a program lacking in the best help on even a
minimal level sees how a client can easily retain what I’ve learned to be an “I don’t give a
damn” attitude. This is especially seen in those clients in the middle age bracket (35-60)
having been through more miles of a negative road and now ‘worn-out’ from the ‘struggle’.
“So why even try to make a true turnaround when all I need to do is hang out here for
benefits of housing, medication, SSI after such diagnoses and whatever else I can get to only
survive.” Correct me if I am wrong but such is noted through progress notes in files of clients
having become part of such help entities over years of time as expressed earlier by the one
client again having achieved another of so many thirty-day clean times over a period of
approximately seven years. Stagnation is certainly a problem for the client as he or she may
certainly be weary, maybe frightened and paranoid of any REAL positive outcomes as such is
a rarity for them after say twenty years plus of addiction and/or mental problems. Taking on
the challenge to become a positive part of life, many times, for the first time in life should not

8. be looked at with such authoritarian pressure – “you got yourself into this mess; now you
have to make that decision to change!” This can indeed be so scary and continue the intense
freight and paranoia in what should be a help entity designed to bring about the wants and
desires to challenge and win the hurdles and its battles to safe ground. Such a battle should
maybe be taken more seriously as it is a true challenge indeed having true capacity in making
the most important decision in one’s life. The twelve steps of recovery were designed to do
this on a peer level basis. Why is there not this kind of intense foundation laid in the general
or norm of facilities for help I have seen over the past number of years now in my own
recovery? A great place to maybe start outreaching has been noted long ago in the early
1990s in the many shelters/missions, transitional, half-way housing and the like. Not going to
express the experiences of my past with these entities; and I have lived in all of these levels of
homeless facilities. Please be advised these entities of only shelter contained nothing more
than the eruption of stagnation that could easily make it to something like section 8 where
only this morning there was heard arguments just outside my apartment of continued
violence, anger, addiction and other character defective peaks. Yes; I live next door to a client
of a facility that seems to allow the hard life lived before section 8 to continue. But it was said
“our asses are covered” due to this client not having section 8 after what was a unique
separation of a roommate/lover also a part of this one program who did live under section 8.
And when this particular problem was brought to certain staff there was found what I would
call excuse-seeking done by addicts to only continue the battle with addiction. The client’s
ability to handle his or her own responsibility was a staff response I was given concerning a
prior client living in this unit next to me living in the pain of life’s struggle. And this client
indeed abused section 8. Such an analysis is made from a peer level point of view as I too live
under section 8 guidelines while I work the few hours a week at this treatment facility
facilitating a smoking cessation group. This is just another example of what is felt to be the
kind of malfunctioning of help entities that seem to have the promise and goal of positive
treatment for those in need. Again forgive me if I am wrong about this kind of view and my
own assumption of the involvement, responsibilities and guidelines of help entities of which
there are a variety of. This differential space of help entities is found to be where the value of

9. ‘working together’ seems to diminish. Seems .com with its private run entities compared to
.gov with its more involved, more maintained state and city facilities and offices will never be
able to come together as one in what seems now to be a bigger war/competition than may
be realized. Yet there is known by all the head/director of such as the Department of Mental
Health.
I am a very concerned individual in this area of treatment. It is felt I could have come to terms
with myself without so much of the psychological behavior changing what I feel kept me from
investing in a true entity with the trust and empathy needed to make the changes and accept
the challenge bringing me to where I am today. And today it must be accepted having lost out
on the only chance our Higher Power gives anyone in building a solid foundation. One’s youth
is indeed so very important with its energy and strength needed in laying that foundation to
build a solid and positive life. During such a time in life one’s ventures, explorations and
episodes are needed to make the decisions and win battles laying the foundation I speak of
for life. At least this is what I have learned today after my lost battle with “yesterday”. The
difference between the entity I found abstinence from addiction in and the entities
experienced on the other side of ‘that fence’ are very frustrating to me and I seek answers to
the reasons why more REAL help and understanding in the treatment world for the absolute
millions of human lives suffering the scenes of such a nightmare are at what seems war. The
reason of money to operate and as well achieve from the sources available to upgrade such a
system of help is heard more than anything else. If indeed money was not the problem and
upgrading with again REAL intentions of a workable entity flowing in what is now the present
system of help were available; it is wondered if the kind of changes to make such a reality
could at least be heard by all?
Forgive me if I have over-expressed myself or if it seems I come to whatever hierarchy from
such a peer advocate point of view but I too am just as and maybe even have the right to be
more concerned about the best care of those suffering the ramifications of mental health. The
past years after my own depths with mental and active addiction are dedicated to at least
delivering a message from where I stand. I ask that you maybe endure the book I have

10. written in order to better understand someone like me in the midst of all the pain suffered
during those years that could have been used to prepare for life. So many others don’t even
have the chance to reach the kind of safe ground I believe I have obtained due to more
intense and painful mental and other disabilities in one’s life. It is believed the positions and
careers found in mental health and treatments are here to stay. Let’s begin a REAL advance
toward the building of a better atmosphere for change with its understanding better the
unique individuals coming to the many entities for help – even if help is not foremost on that
suffering human being’s mind. If this is the United States of America why then can’t one state
look at maybe a better run entity of another state to incorporate and as well advance in its
own space for the results of a workable entity for its people?
Looking at my life to date there is again recognized all the suffering in my unique world
leading to the loss of that one REAL chance at a foundation to build on. I pat myself on the
back for the fight for what I achieved today even though, according to the norm, financially
such is still a complete failure. The years in recovery from addiction and the fight to fill the
void felt after addiction that found the diagnoses of being bi-polar were successes allowing
for the positive feeling today to overpower that “I give up” syndrome. There is felt from
actual observation how so many continue on in that negative world as witnessed from Skid
Rowe and the Tenderloin in California to New York and Atlanta’s regions of homelessness and
poverty where mentally disabled sickness including addiction are all so obviously noted.
Today I have a desire for life. Today there is found abilities I can maybe still build on after
laying the foundation I managed to lay long after the youth that would have given me all the
energy and strength still yet to build great success today. Recognizing and accepting life
today after yesterday include my work to date salvaging what I could and carrying on from
such a point – a point well taken for all the experiences of the past. It would be so great, so
wonderful to inspire others stuck in limbo to feel some of the joy of not giving up. Wonder if
I’ll really ever see REAL brainstorming with its positive outcomes actually making a difference
in our communities.
Nathaniel James Shaw, Mental Health Advocate/author/artist