The first set of handout used for my courses at the University of Buffalo.

1. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
COMMAS
What are commas?
a) signals to help readers understand meaning
b) pauses that slow a reader down, but do not stop him or her like a period does
When are commas used?
a) with coordinating conjunctions (for, and nor, but, or, yet, so)
b) with dependent clauses, which are usually prepositional phrases
c) with introductory words
d) with –ing and –ed phrases and to plus a verb phrases
e) after items in a series and lists
f) with two or more adjectives before a noun
g) as an interrupter
h) with direct address and appositives (a phrase used as explanation)
Examples:
a) After the storm, they collected seashells along the beach, and everyone found some interesting
specimens, but the conservationists asked them not to take the shells home.
b) Since breaking his leg last winter, Skip was nervous about the upcoming ski season.
After swimming twelve miles, he ran a marathon.
c) Yes, I will go.
However, Skip soon changed his mind because of what his friends said.
d) Having finished the test before the bell rang, Frank bolted from the room
Tired of never having money, Nordstrom decided to rob a bank.
To get a seat on the bus, you need to arrive at the bus stop early.
e) Is your favorite color green, yellow, or pink?
Desdemona called her sister, went to the store, and finally worked on the English paper due
tomorrow.
f) Nordstrom took the money from the bank job and bought a bright, shiny, red Hummer.
g) The report, moreover, was wrong.
Anne, to tell the truth, was quite unhappy.
h) If you look back, Maggie, you will see the book I mean.
Sherlock, you won by sheer luck.
The speaker, a famous explorer, talked about his time in Diego Garcia.
Commas and their many uses also can be found in Section 27 of Prentice Hall.
THE SEMICOLON
What are semicolons?
a) stronger punctuation marks than commas
b) pauses between two independent clauses

2. When are semicolons used?
a) when joining parts of a compound sentence without using a conjunction
b) when there are commas in the first part of a compound sentence
c) when there are commas in items in a series
d) before a word that joins the main clauses of a compound sentence
Joining words: Therefore, hence, however, so, then, moreover, besides, nevertheless, yet,
consequently
Examples:
a) Dan has finished his homework; Dana has not begun hers.
He watched T. V. reruns; she preferred to read instead.
b) McGurdy of Illinois made the most spectacular shot of the game, a toss from mid-court; and
Indiana, which had been favored to win, went down to defeat.
c) Flash Medallion lived in Lumberton, North Carolina; Hartford, Connecticut; and Lowell,
Massachusetts before settling in San Francisco, California.
d) It was a sunny day; however, it was quite cool.
He forgot about the quiz; consequently, he failed to do well.
Semicolons also can be found in Section 29 of Prentice Hall.
THE COLON
What are colons?
Punctuation marks or signs indicating something is to follow
When are colons used?
a) after the greeting in a business letter
b) between numbers indicating hours and minutes
c) to introduce a list of items or an explanation
d) when a second independent clause restates the first
Examples:
a) Dear Sir or Madam:
To Whom It may Concern:
b) 10:00 P. M.
c) If you are trying out for the team, be sure to bring the following items: a pair of sneakers, a
pair of shorts, and the permission slip.
After months of hard work on her dissertation, she only wanted one thing: her diploma.
d) Some people say that lobbying groups exert too much influence on Congress: they can buy
votes as a result of their large contributions to the right Senators and Representatives.
Colons also can be found in Section 30 of Prentice Hall.
THE HYPHEN VERSUS THE DASH
What’s the difference?
Hyphens are more formal than dashes. Hyphens have more uses than dashes do.

3. How do the uses differ?
Hyphens are used in many ways: to divide words, to form compound words, to join word units,
prefixes and suffixes, and to avoid ambiguity; however, a dash is used as an interrupter and to set
off a phrase or clause that contains a comma.
Hyphen Examples:
Compound words: mother-in-law; clear-cut; two-thirds
Word units: The office needs up-to-date scores.
The repair involved a six-inch pipe.
Prefixes and Suffixes: co-director; T-shirt; self-sufficient; bell-like; anti-intellectual
Avoiding ambiguity: re-creation (making again) vs. recreation; co-op (something jointly owned)
vs. coop (a cage for fowl)
Dash Examples:
Interrupter: The toddler stood there happily sniffing a handful of flowers—all the roses from my
garden.
Of course, Skip was willing to work hard to get good grades—but not too hard.
Setting off words: Dirk always find interesting restaurants—such as Lettuce Eat, that vegetarian
place, and Don Ho’s Pizza Parlor—to take us to after an evening at the opera.
Hyphens can be found in Section 32 of Prentice Hall; dashes are found in Section 34.
The above notes were culled from two sources: The Prentice Hall Guide to Usage and
Grammar, which you have as a textbook and Handbook for English by N. Ursula Little, James
H. Elson, Stuart Edgerly and John M. Baker. It was published in 1933 by Charles Scribner’s
Sons, New York.

4. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Numerical Grades and Their Letter Equivalents
A: 94 – 100
A-: 90 – 93
B+: 87 – 89
B: 83 – 86
B-: 80 –82
C+: 77 – 79
C: 73 – 76
C-: 70 – 72
D+: 67 – 69
D: 63 – 66
D-: 60 – 62
F: 0 – 59
To calculate your grade, divide your total by the total assigned. Then, find the letter grade
according to the scale above.

5. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Rubric
The following rubric has been modified from the one developed by Kathryn Inskeep in
discussion with the English 1 faculty, Sept 2001; revised by the English 1 faculty, April and Dec.
2002 for the Drew University Composition Program. The website where the original can be
found is http://www.users.drew.edu/sjamieso/Instructor%27s_Guide/English1-portfolio%20-
rubric.htm
English 101 portfolios will be read holistically, allowing the essays to provide an overall sense of
the writer's skills and weaknesses. One paper may be stronger than another, for example, and
may thus demonstrate an ability to plan, develop ideas, write, revise, or edit that is less well
demonstrated in another essay. While I would like students to achieve the same degree of
proficiency in all papers, I am most concerned with whether you can apply the skills learned over
the course of the semester. This especially applies to the three major revisions that you have
completed.
A: An Exceptional Portfolio
Content, organization, and grammar all work together to produce engaging, insightful,
informative essays that have something meaningful to say and say it well. A holistic reading of
an A portfolio provides a clear sense of the writer's overall skills. Any necessary revisions would
be cosmetic (occasional misspellings, comma splices, run-ons, etc; occasional weak transitions
or unfocused paragraphs; occasional absent or awkward framing of cited material).
B: A Portfolio that is Almost as Good as it Could Be
Interesting and generally well-presented essays that reveal some imbalance in content, structure,
or grammar and require further revision to enhance either their readability or their argument. A
holistic reading of a B level portfolio provides a sense that the writer is generally but not always
entirely able to organize a college-level paper. The essays also demonstrate an ability to write
tight, well focused paragraphs; and edit carefully most of the time, but there is weakness in one
or more of these areas.
C: A Portfolio That is Adequate
Essays that fulfill the requirements of their respective assignments, but that do not go beyond
them in content or that demonstrate patterns of error that could only be corrected with significant
revision and possibly additional explanation or supplemental instruction. A holistic reading of a
C level portfolio provides a sense that the writer is sometimes able to demonstrate the writing
skills generally seen in an A or B level portfolio, and is generally a proficient college-level
writer; however, the papers may not be fully developed. There may be a sense that the author of
the papers did not fully explore the topic. Alternatively, the papers may be more fully developed,
but demonstrate significant patterns of error (in appropriateness of grammar, mechanics,
structural features, originality of word use, or logic).

6. D: An Ineffectual Portfolio
Essays containing unfocussed, digressive, and confusing arguments that lack adequate support
and/or contain serious patterns of error that distract the reader or prevent clear comprehension of
what the author is trying to communicate. A holistic reading of a D level portfolio raises serious
or grammar. Many papers may write around the assignment or thesis or seriously fail to support
claims. The concerns in the areas of content, structure, papers need serious revision and the
student may need supplemental instruction.
F: A Portfolio that Demonstrates Minimal Effort and/or Execution
F level portfolios demonstrate a strong sense of incompleteness and inappropriateness. Content/
organization/ grammar are all lacking. Submissions read more like rough to very rough drafts
and not a finished, polished product.

7. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Grading Standards Handout #1
Many have asked about grading and what constitutes a B-level grade or an A-level grade, and
how the two are different. What you have here is a compilation of material that should help to
explain, in great detail, what I am looking for and how I know what grade to assign to your
essays, based on the work that I see. The main criteria are:
• Thesis/central idea;
• Organization/logic/coherence;
• Development;
• Style, including effective sentence construction, appropriate word choice, and tone;
• Mechanics, including sentence structure, punctuation, spelling, and proper usage
As you have noticed, I have paid more and stricter attention to these as the semester has worm
on. Also included in my criteria, but not listed, are the grammar and mechanics lessons that I
have presented throughout the semester. This is true also of the explanations of the different
modes of the papers that you have been writing.
Characteristics of an "A" paper
• Thesis/Central idea. Imaginative and thoughtful thesis, neither too broad nor too narrow in
scope. Sustained central idea that reflects the assignment.
• Organization/logic/coherence. All sections of the essay are logically and coherently related to
the thesis through an organizational strategy. Sound principles of critical thinking are used
throughout. Effective transitions contribute to the logical progression of ideas. The introduction
and conclusion are particularly effective.
• Development. There is a convincing amount of proof for the main points. The development is
original and thoughtful. There are enough concrete details so that the essay "shows rather than
tells." Paragraphs are relevant to the thesis, structured with topic sentences, and developed with
adequate evidence.
• Style. Sentences are clear, fluent, and varied in length and structure. Diction is accurate, direct,
specific, fresh, and vivid. The active voice is used effectively. The tone is consistent and suitable
for the topic and audience.
• Mechanics. The essay is virtually free of errors in punctuation, spelling, and usage.
• The essay also provides correct MLA documentation.
• The A paper conveys immediately a sense of the "person" behind the words: an individual
voice speaking firmly and clearly from the page.
• The writing is packed with information. Examples or comparisons are carefully chosen and
have a "just right" feel to them. Occasionally, there is a valid image or deft comparison.
• Organization of material is smooth, logical. The reader does not stumble or hesitate over the
sequence of facts or ideas.
• Sentences are varied, with rhythm and emphasis appropriate to the meaning. Phrasing is often
fluent, even graceful. Sentences read well aloud.
• Word choices, especially verbs, are accurate, sensitive to connotations.
• Punctuation is appropriate, helpful to reader.

8. • There are no mechanical errors (grammar or spelling).
• An A paper is not necessarily flawless; there is no such thing in writing. But it reflects a writer
who is in full control of his or her material and language.
Characteristics of a "B" paper
• Thesis/Central idea. The thesis is clearly identified and neither too broad nor too narrow in
scope.
• Organization/Logic/Coherence. Organization: evidence is arranged in a logical and convincing
fashion and all paragraphs contribute to the thesis or dominant impression. Logic: sound
principles of critical thinking are used throughout. Overall unity: all paragraphs contribute to the
thesis. Coherence: relationships between ideas are made clear by appropriate transitions. The
introduction and conclusion are effective.
• Style. Sentences are clear and varied in length and structure. Diction is accurate and specific.
Effective use of active voice. The tone is consistent and suitable for the topic and audience.
• Mechanics. The writing is relatively free of errors in grammar, punctuation, standard usage,
and spelling.
• Examples or illustrations may be slightly forced or exaggerated.
• Organization is clear, and a reader does not stumble over the sequence of ideas.
• Sentences tend to be pedestrian and occasionally awkward or wordy.
• Word choices are workable and clear, though verbs may lack "bite" or strength.
• Punctuation is occasionally confusing.
There are no mechanical errors (grammar or spelling).
Characteristics of a "C" paper
• Thesis/Central idea. The thesis or main idea is relatively clear, but may be unoriginal or lack
insight. It may be difficult to locate because it is not the last sentence (or two) of the first
paragraph.
• Organization/Logic/Coherence. Organization: There is an apparent direction to the essay, but
paragraphs are not always effectively arranged. There is generally competent, logical
arrangement of details, illustrations, and examples; some transitions are evident but not always
effective. Adequate introduction and conclusion.
• Development. The use of supporting details, illustrations, and examples is generally adequate.
• Style. Sentences are coherent but sometimes monotonous, wordy, and lacking in emphasis.
Diction is generally appropriate to the subject and audience, but may lack variety, precision, and
originality. The writing usually avoids clichés, weak verbs, passive voice, repetition, and
excessive modifiers. The tone is usually consistent and generally suitable to the audience. There
may be an occasional run on or fragment. (This holds especially true from midsemester on.)
• Mechanics. Minor errors are apparent, but they do not generally impede the flow of the essay or
hinder the reader’s understanding.
• There may still be problems with the use of an MLA heading or with the proper format of the
paper (1 inch margins all around, double spaced, etc.)
• Information tends to be adequate but thin.
• Organization is occasionally not clear, causing the reader to stop and reread previous material
to be sure of meaning.
• Diction is usually characterized by wordiness, clichés. Unnecessary words and phrases make
the writing loose.

9. • There may be several grammar, spelling and punctuation errors.
A C paper will do; it is adequate. But it gives the reader an impression of fuzziness and lack of
assurance on the part of the writer. The reader has to work to understand what he or she is
reading.
Characteristics of a "D" paper
• Thesis/Central idea. There are significant flaws in the formulation or clarity of the thesis. There
may be a discernible purpose, but one that is unsuitable for the assignment.
• Organization/logic/coherence. Organization: the plan, purpose, and method of the essay are not
apparent or are inconsistent. Logic: errors in logic undermine the essay. Coherence: paragraphs
are occasionally lacking unity, or transitions are unclear or ineffective.
• Development. There is little effective support for the thesis: assertions are unconvincing and
unsupported, with scant use of supporting details, examples, illustrations. There may be
irrelevant content and an imbalance between abstract and concrete material.
• Style. Sentences are choppy, awkward, and lacking variety. Diction is inappropriate, vague,
unnatural. There may be excessive use of passive voice, weak verbs, and weak modifiers. The
tone is likely to be flat, inconsistent, and unaware of an audience. The introduction and
conclusion are inadequate.
• Mechanics. Sentences have occasional or frequent major errors and/or frequent minor errors in
sentence construction, punctuation, spelling, or standard usage.
• The main impression given by the D paper is one of haste, carelessness, lack of attention, or the
inability to write even simple sentences.
• The paper may make some sense but only when the reader struggles to find the sense. The
writer obviously has scanty control of his or her material.
• There are multiple structural and spelling errors.
• The D paper may have a sloppy visual presentation.
Characteristics of an "F" paper
• Thesis/Central idea. Either no thesis is stated or implied, or the thesis is a weak or badly stated
one.
• Organization/Logic/Coherence. Organization: there is no overall design or structure to the
essay; frequent rambling mars the essay. Coherence: paragraphs often lack unity or are
incoherent. There are numerous errors in logic.
• Development. Little or no evidence (details and examples) are given to support thesis and topic
sentences.
• Style. Sentences are awkward, unclear, and lack variety. Diction is inappropriate, inaccurate,
vague, unnatural. The tone is inconsistent or unsuitable for the audience.
• Mechanics. There are blatant errors in sentence construction, punctuation, spelling, or standard
English usage.
The above criteria were modified after finding them at the following websites:
http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/pennvalley/humanities/pages/handbook.htm and
http://www.octech.edu/icourses/eng/eng101/GradingStandards.html

10. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Grading Standards Handout #2
Below, you will find two more ways that describe, fairly well, what my thinking is when it
comes to your papers and determining the grade you have earned on this assignment. The
websites from which these ideas come follow the information. As you will see, what matters is
how well you explain and prove you ideas, not whether the professor agrees with them or not.
Thesis statement: Do you have one sentence which asserts an informed opinion about the
subject, controls the scope of your essay, and suggests how your essay will proceed? Is your
thesis an accurate and appropriate response to the assignment?
Logical organization: Do you put your ideas in a logical order, such as chronological or
emphatic, or are you thoughts merely arranged at random?
Unity and Coherence: Do you use transitional words and phrases to help the reader follow the
various directions that your argument takes? Do you use pronouns, effective repetition,
parallelism, and other devices and achieve continuity and make logical connections?
Supporting evidence: Do you prove your case to the reader? Do you use examples, facts,
statistics, quotations, and anecdotes to show the reader the validity of your argument?
Critical thinking: Have you truly considered your subject from several angles, not just the most
obvious ones? Do you question assumptions? Do you identify and critique bias in your outside
sources?
Mechanical correctness: Do you follow conventions of grammar, punctuation, and spelling for
formal written English? Do you avoid informal, conversational ways of expressing yourself?
Note that certain mechanical errors ("major errors") are considered to be more serious that others
("minor errors"), and your grade on the essay is lowered if more than one major error per 500
words is found.
http://www.jjc.cc.il.us/Dept/English/standards.htm
The ‘A’ Paper
The essay has a very well focused thesis with an effectively narrowed topic and point. The writer
has an excellent sense of audience and exigency (the presentation is effectively adapted for a
particular audience and reason). The writer does an excellent job of developing ideas to meet

11. audience needs. Evidence is fully developed, specific, vivid, and convincing. There are no
irrelevant details. Reasoning is valid.
The arrangement of ideas (whether spatial, chronological, logical, or some combination) is
deliberately chosen and works effectively to meet audience needs. The introduction engages the
reader; the conclusion is satisfying. Transitions are effective and varied. Organizational
strategies work to move the reader through the essay in a satisfying and logical way. Expression
is under the writer’s control, and the writer uses varied lengths and types of sentences. These
complex structures show effective control of grammar and punctuation. Wording is thoughtful,
varied, and precise.
The ‘B’ Paper
The essay has a focused thesis with a narrowed topic and point. Although somewhat less
sophisticated in its adaptation to audience needs than the “A” essay, the “B” essay demonstrates
a good grasp of audience and exigency. Supporting evidence is sufficient to fulfill audience
needs, often offering specific, convincing detail. A few spots may need more detail to further
develop ideas. Reasoning is for the most part valid.
The arrangement of ideas is appropriate and demonstrates conscious choice on the writer’s part,
making the direction of the essay easy to follow. While the introduction, conclusion, and
transitions may be less compelling than those in the “A” paper, they are not dull, mechanical, or
repetitive.
Expression is competent. The essay may show less variation in sentences than the “A” paper, but
it is more mature than the “C” paper. The writer has reasonable control of grammar and
punctuation. Word choice shows thought, but may not be as varied and precise as the “A” paper.
The ‘C’ Paper
The essay has a thesis, but the purpose may not be well defined: the topic may be too broad or
the point may be unfocused. There is some evidence that the writer has adapted the presentation
to an audience for a particular reason, but the writer may not demonstrate a full understanding of
audience needs.
While the writer makes an effort to support the thesis, the evidence offered may stay too general
to fulfill the purpose effectively. The writer may offer some specific detail, but not enough to
support the thesis convincingly. There may be a few irrelevant details or minor flaws in the
reasoning.
Some thought has been given to arrangement of ideas, but supporting points may not be in their
best order. The introduction and conclusion are present but may fail to engage readers at the start
or satisfy them at the end. Transitions may be mechanical or abrupt. Still, the organization is
clear, and the reader can follow the direction of the essay.
The writer needs more practice in expression. Sentences may be generally correct but
unsophisticated. The writer may use simple sentences with little effort at controlling emphasis
through subordination. Or, the writer may attempt more sophisticated structures but often lose
control of grammar and punctuation in those sentences. The essay may contain inflated language,
wordy structures, and clichés
The ‘D’ Paper
The essay’s purpose isn’t clearly established with an adequate thesis statement. The writer may
introduce a topic but make no clear claim about that topic. Or the essay may set up multiple

12. claims that leave the reader confused about the purpose. There may be little evidence the writer
has considered audience or exigency in the essay.
Supporting evidence is far too slim to meet the needs of the audience. Development may be both
scanty and general, and/or the evidence may be irrelevant to the thesis. There may be a number
of flaws in the reasoning.
Organization is confusing. The introduction and/or conclusion may be misleading, and the essay
may lack adequate transitions. Expression is seriously flawed by frequent problems in grammar,
punctuation, and/or word choice, but the reader can still understand the essay.
The ‘F’ Paper
The essay has no clear thesis or topic, and the writer shows no concern for audience. Content is
irrelevant. Reasoning may be seriously and frequently flawed. No thought has been given to
arrangement of ideas, and the reader has great difficulty following the essay. Expression is so
seriously flawed that the reader has trouble understanding the essay. Sentences are garbled.
Word choice is thoughtless and frequently inaccurate.
A Special Note: High School vs. College
Grading standards in college are generally tougher than they are in high school. So, if your
grades in First-Year English aren’t as good as those you got in high school, we want you to be
concerned and work to improve your writing. But we don’t want you to despair. We want to help
you learn where your strengths and weaknesses lie so you can build on those strengths and shore
up the weaknesses.
http://www.cla.sc.edu/ENGL/writingprograms/FirstYrEnglish/studentgrades.htm

13. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Revision Handout #1: Revision Assistance
When it comes to revising, it is imperative that you remember what revision means. As per our
class notes, revision means to look again at what you have written. You are to critically examine
the papers that you are revising as part of your portfolio and consider the various ways that you
can improve what you already have. It is not simply a matter of incorporating the suggestions I
have made or those given to you by a peer. It is important that you take the papers apart and put
them back together again, but not necessarily in the same order. You may find that you are
adding or subtracting parts so that you’re paper is improved and significantly different from both
the handwritten and typed versions. I will know if you are doing this or not because I will be
grading the revision with the two previous drafts by my side. Therefore, please use the following
information to assist you with creating your new and improved papers. (Think of it as an English
101 Erector Set: you have the parts and tools and can create myriad designs from one kit.)
For the most part, you have accomplished what some call local revision. This is significantly
changing one or two areas of a paper in order to address concerns for that particular part of an
essay. Global revision is doing more than you have done on any paper at any other point in the
semester. Global revision is taking a serious look at the paper as a whole, making more than the
revisions that your peers and I suggest and then see where you end up. What you need to do is to
rethink and re-examine you papers with a critical eye. Some questions to consider while
completing your global revisions:
1. What was the PURPOSE of the paper or assignment? Does this paper address that completely?
Does it go above and beyond what was assigned or its purpose?
2. Does the writing have a THEME or FOCUS? Does it stick to that focus throughout? If not,
where does it lose its focus?
3. Is the paper INTERESTING to read? What would make it more interesting? Think in terms of
concrete details rather than abstractions and generalizations.
4. Are the ideas and descriptions in the paper THOROUGH? What would you like to know more
about?
5. Do the VERB TENSE and POINT OF VIEW remain constant throughout? If not, is the
change for a particular purpose?
6. Does the paper have a TITLE that captures your attention and has something to do with your
purpose?
The following issues also deal with GLOBAL REVISION but focus on PARAGRAPHS:
1. What does each paragraph say in SUMMARY? That is, what do the words say, NOT what do
they imply?
2. Is the paragraph CLEAR and COMPLETE? Does it need to say more? Or less? Does it need
to be divided into two or more paragraph?
3. Does the paragraph need to be in the paper? Does it FIT with the THEME?
4. Is the paragraph properly placed within the essay or would it be more EFFECTIVE or
UNDERSTANDABLE elsewhere? [Note: often the last paragraph makes a fine first paragraph.]

14. 5. Are the sentences within the paragraph all the same LENGTH? Or is there some variation?
I’ve done as many as 20 or 30 drafts of a story. Never less than 10 or 12 drafts. Raymond Carver
The above questions were developed by Dr. Anne-Marie Hall for the Southern Arizona Writing
Project, 2001, University of Arizona Writing Program – 2002 and can be found at the website
http://w3.arizona.edu/~writprog/materials/8-4.htm.
Additionally consider these questions, which come from
http://w3.arizona.edu/~writprog/materials/8-7.htm and were also developed by Dr. Anne-Marie
Hall for the Southern Arizona Writing Project, 2001, University of Arizona Writing Program –
2002.
1. Why do you think the writer wrote this piece?
2. What do you like best about this essay?
3. Be nosey. What do you want to know more about?
4. Was there anything you didn’t understand? If so, what part?
5. Which sensory details were most effective?
6. What do you wish the writer would leave out in the next draft?
7. Suggest some aspects for the writer to experiment with. [Examples:
past to present tense, change point of view, serious to sarcastic tone, first to third person, moving
ending scene to beginning in story, emphasize a different theme, etc.]
8. Which sentences or paragraphs did you have to reread in order to understand? Which
sentences seemed awkward, too slow, too long, too heavy, or out of tune? Which words or
sentences need more spice?
9. On language, give examples of fresh, interesting, and appropriate language. Now give
examples of clichéd, too familiar, and out of place language.
10. What do you think about the conclusion? What made you keep reading? What did you think
of the introduction? Do you wish it had continued? Ended sooner? Or was just right?
11. If this were your paper, what would you do next?
12. Tell the writer what s/he does best and encourage more of it.
13. Describe how you felt after you finished reading this essay. What impressions did you leave
with?
14. Answer the BIG “So What?”
Global revision, then, boils down to you deciding on what you want your ultimate purpose,
focus, and audience to be, and then deciding how to use the suggestions that you have received
to help you achieve these goals.
Also, check out this website, which has many useful ideas (and not just on revision):
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_edit.html#Large

15. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Revision Handout #2: Revision Strategies
As you are in the process of making revisions for your portfolio, it is crucial that you not just
revise, but also understand the thought behind your revisions.
As we have discussed, it is important to see the big picture. Don't make the revisions that your
peers and instructors suggest and then see where you end up. Begin by looking at your draft.
What does it accomplish?
What do you want it to accomplish? Decide on what you want your ultimate purpose, focus, and
audience to be, and then decide how to use the suggestions that you have received to help you
achieve these goals.
Once you have a clear conception of where you are going, then you can decide what changes to
incorporate into your paper. Take a good look at the draft that you have. Below are some
questions that you can use to help you guide your revision efforts.
Audience and Purpose:
Do you have a clear audience in mind for your paper? If not, spend some time thinking about
what group of people you would like to have read your paper, or who would be interested in
reading your paper, and why. Consider age group, gender, interests, hobbies, educational level,
experience, career, level of knowledge about your topic, etc.
What do you want to communicate to this audience? Why? Can you convey this thought in a
single sentence? If not, you probably need to narrow your focus.
Keep you audience and purpose in mind as you read each and every sentence. Are they most
appropriate in relation to your audience and purpose? Does your audience already know the
information that you are conveying? Do they need more background in order to understand the
significance of your point? Is the language appropriate for your audience?
Does each paragraph contribute to your focus and purpose? If not, how can you make it do so?
Sometimes the only thing to do is delete, as painful as that may be.
Mood:
Is the paper informal or formal? Why? What words or phrases make it so? Does the level of
formality work with your audience and purpose? If not you need to reconsider and rework the
areas of your paper which create the formal or informal mood.
Organization and Presentation:
What did you put at the beginning/introduction of the paper? Why? Does it make the most sense
there? Is that the most effective place for that information? Is there other information that could
work more effectively there?
What is in the middle of the paper? Why? Is it easy or logical for the reader to follow? What
would happen if you moved some of the information around? Would the paper be more or less
effective? Why?
What did you end/conclude your paper with? Is it what you want to leave your reader thinking
about? Does it effectively tie together or wrap up your thoughts? Is it the most effective way to
end the essay?

16. Details and Support:
Keeping your purpose and audience in mind, have you provided enough details and examples to
make your point? Is there enough support to accomplish your purpose? You do not want the
reader to have to take
your word for something, you want to convince them of it. Remember the reader has no idea
what is going on inside your head and cannot see evidence that is not in the paper.
Do you have enough details to keep the reader interested? Am I giving too many facts that get
boring and don't mean much to my audience?
Do you offer enough examples to make your points clear to the reader? Is everything
understandable and clear?
Global Group Revision:
Get into groups of three. First, have one person answer the revision questions you asked about
this paper. (These should be different revision questions from the ones you asked the first time
around, and make sure they're questions that ask for substantive revision for this paper.)
Then, as a group, assign one person to be the "Purpose" expert, one to be the "Audience" expert,
and one more to be the "Research" expert. As that an expert in this area of revision, your goal is
to suggest at least one global
revision in that area. First, suggest a large idea-level revision, one that would completely change
the focus, audience, and in turn, the research done on that paper. Write down in a fairly lengthy
paragraph what you suggest the person change specifically in their paper according to the area
you've been assigned. (Suggest the following revision strategies as well: Addition (or What
needs to be added to complete this revision?); Deletion (or, What needs to be deleted to make
your reivison?); and Transposition (or, What needs to be replaced to make this revision?)) When
you're done, pass your paper to the next "expert" to do the same.
Last, and when every expert in the group has completed writing down their suggestions, and one
at a time, give every expert time to verbally offer their comments to the author of the text. Every
expert should work together to offer the author suggestions to globally revise the author's paper.
Before we do this exercise, let's do some of this as a class.
Here's an example:
Original Paper on "Animal Testing":
Purpose: To convince consumers not to buy cosmetic products that have been tested on animals
by arguing that testing on animals is o.k. for medical uses, but not for cosmetic ones.
How can we change this purpose?
Audience: Consumers of cosmetic products (both men and women)
Any other audiences we can think of?
Research: The original paper researched the "risks" and examples of horrors that happen to
animals when they're tested on, as well as
alternatives to testing on animals?
How else should this be researched according to changes outlined above?
Portfolio Drafts:
* Should show evidence of global revision. That is, they should demonstrate that you have
rethought and reexamined your text and have constructed an essay that has developed from an

17. idea to a piece of
writing that is appropriate for its intended audience and has a clear purpose that is well
accomplished. Refer to the portfolio grading standards for a more comprehensive list of what I
will be expecting from
portfolio drafts.
Keep in mind that any draft is only as strong as that which preceded it. Global revision is a
hugely important element in this course, and one that we will discuss continuously throughout
the semester. If your roughn draft is one paragraph of mishmash that you wrote hurriedly in ten
minutes, then your first draft is also likely to be weak, as you will not have the foundation to
accomplish your goals for that draft.
As I mentioned above, there is no single writing process. Each individual will have a method that
works best for him or her. These guidelines are meant to be a springboard, not to be prescriptive.
After we work through all of these steps once of twice, you will begin to learn what is most
effective for you.
Please cover the following questions/issues in your groups in relation to each essay:
1) Does the opening paragraph draw you in and make you want to keep reading? If not, what are
some suggestions you have for the author to create a catchier introduction? (Hint: There may
already be another paragraph in the essay that would be more effective as an introduction.)
2)What is the purpose of the paper? If the paper doesn't seem to have one, what do you think is
causing this problem (Lack of focus? Too many ideas? Unnecessary sections of text? Unclear
text?
3) To what audience does this paper seem to be targeted (consider age, gender, interests,
knowledge level about the subject etc.)? Does the author do a good job of targeting this
particular audience? Why or why not?
4) What does the tone of this paper seem to be (e.g. angry, bored/disinterested, upset, excited,
energetic, etc.)? Does this tone help or hinder the purpose of the paper?
5) Is there anything in the paper that doesn't seem to fit/ belong? Why or why not? Does it
disrupt the flow? Not fit with the overall purpose/goal of the paper?
6) How does the paper seem to be organized? Is it effective? Is there a more effective strategy?
7) What are some global revision suggestions you have for the author? (Consider additions,
deletions, and transpositions (moving items within the text)). Are there any sections that need
expansion or clarifying?

18. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Self-Evaluation Handout #1
First, I want to give you a final note on revision. This is a definition that has been provided by
Dr. Mili Clark in her memo to all Composition instructors. The definition of revision is a
rethinking and restructuring of the paper’s theme, which will probably include deleting and
adding paragraphs, moving material around in the paper, adding and deleting information and
illustrations, and almost certainly entail rewriting the introductory and closing sections of the
paper; merely correcting grammar and syntax does not constitute revising although such
corrections are expected in the final versions of papers.
The following information has been compiled from two articles by Kim Johnson-Bogart and
Thad Curtz, who both teach in the Writing Program at the University of Washington. The
websites are http://writing.colostate.edu/assignments/archives/co300/sample/pop1d.htm,
http://www.evergreen.edu/washcenter/resources/assess/e2johnso.htm, and
http://academic.evergreen.edu/c/curtzt/Assessment.html. What they should do is provide you
with a thinking jump start that will allow you to honestly and effectively evaluate yourself as a
writer over the course of the semester. Good luck and happy evaluating.
It helps to write evaluations in two stages. The first stage is really for yourself. For the first stage,
write quickly, loosely, and as much as possible without stopping. Don't even worry about
mechanics, organization, or whether it makes sense. Don't even worry about whether it is true:
sometimes blatant exaggeration or distortion is the only way to get your hands on a half-buried
insight. The idea is to get your thoughts and feelings down on paper where you can see them and
learn from them.
Wait until AFTER you get that interesting mess written before going back over it to decide
which things are true and which of those true things you want to share with strangers who will
read your self-evaluation.. It will be easier to write appropriately for an outside reader when you
get the false and private things down on paper so they don't make fog and static in your head to
confuse and slow you down.
Save this first-stage writing for your portfolio. It will have lots of important insights that won't be
in your final version. Think about sharing much or all of it with someone else so as to help you
write a better, fairer evaluation of yourself as a writer over the course of the semester.
It may help to write as though you are writing a letter to a friend, loved one, teacher, or to
yourself. This will not only help you to write more easily, it will also help your writing have
some voice and sound like it comes from a real person. In revising, you can make whatever small
changes may be necessary to fit your official audience but still keep the real voice in your
writing.
Illustrate your generalizations with brief examples. You can get an event into half a sentence
("such as when I . . . ").
Tell things you are proud of. If you cannot think of any, think again. They are there. But also try
to describe those parts of your performance that you are not satisfied with; or things you need to
work on in the future; or things you would have done differently if you knew then what you
know now. You are likely to sound dumb or dishonest if you cannot think of some things you

19. could do better on the basis of experience.
Don't complain about how terrible the program or teachers were. It'll just sound like sour grapes
and make readers think you blame things on others and don't accept responsibility for your own
learning. Save those complaints for evaluations of program and faculty. If the complaints keep
sneaking into your self-evaluation, stop and do a draft of your program and faculty evaluations.
Get the complaints out of your system so you can focus your energies on what counts here: your
learning.
Self-assessment encourages you, the students, to reflect on your learning and results in the
student consciously improving how s/he learns. One way to accomplish this is to explain what
the collection as a whole means to you and how this portfolio reflects you as a writer. You are
the subject of this essay. Give attention to yourself as a writer in general and to writing in
particular. Discuss how you think your writing and thinking skills are related and how they may
have developed or changed over the course of the quarter. Use your own writing as evidence for
the arguments you want to make; discuss the meaning and value of each revision, and the
relation of the pieces to one another. Because this essay creates and explains your portfolio, it
tells me how to read and evaluate your portfolio. So what you tell me the portfolio means and
how seriously you take it will directly guide my evaluation and grading within the rubric you
have been given. (This is not the place for b.s., arguments you don't believe, or flattery.) In
reviewing your portfolio I will look for a consideration of how thinking, writing, and reading are
related for you.
There is no single way to write a good evaluation. That will depend upon the course, your goals,
your style, and your needs. The advice below is only that -- advice. Do not follow it slavishly or
respond as if it were an outline to be followed. And do not assume that you must touch on all of
the points mentioned. A good evaluation selects the most important results of the learning
process, and from this selection much else is evident. Give time and thought to what you write
and care to how you write. A sloppy, careless self-evaluation filled with misspellings, incomplete
sentences, and half-thoughts leaves a poor final impression even if you did very well in a course
of study.
A VITAL POINT: Try to write in a way which communicates information about the content of
the course. Do not just speak in abstractions and personal feelings, such as "This class was
extremely important to me because through discussion and the readings my thinking developed
immensely." What subject? Which discussions? What did you read? Think about what developed
from where you started to where you are now. A reader who does not know what the class
studied should be able to gain an idea from your self-evaluation. One should be able to form
some judgment about how well you understand a subject from what you say about it, not merely
that you claim to understand it. In other words, BE SPECIFIC, BE SPECIFIC, BE SPECIFIC,
BE SPECIFIC, BE SPECIFIC, and, finally, BE CONCRETE.
One of the important skills in a good education is being able to ask the right questions. Likewise,
writing a good evaluation depends upon good questions. In fact, one might begin an evaluation
by inquiring "What are the important questions about this subject?", listing several, and then
discussing some good answers. There are many problems and issues which one might address to
oneself in order to trigger a good evaluation. Here are some-suggestions only:
-- Did I do more or less than was expected by the instructor? by me? Why, or why not?
-- This is a ____credit class, or about ____ of my study time this quarter. Did I give it that much
time?

20. -- What do I now understand best about this subject? least well?
-- My strongest and weakest points as a student? What did I do to improve the weak points?
-- What will I do next?
-- What do I need to learn next about this subject?
-- What was most satisfying about the class? most frustrating? your responsibility for each?
-- Has the course irritated you? stimulated you? touched you personally? Has it made you
uncomfortable about yourself, about society, about the future, about learning? Are you the same
person who began the class ten weeks ago? What's different?
-- What did you expect to learn? What did you actually learn? more or less, and why?
Additionally, read and consider the following information, which should also assist you in your
self-evaluation. These, again, are items to be considered but not slavishly followed. They also
come from the websites listed at the beginning of the document. To quote former Fairhaven dean
Phil Ager, "It is a fiction to measure learning in a single way which therefore can be recorded by
a single letter grade." Instead, he argues, there are at least four different kinds of learning:
Cognitive.: Your new understandings and knowledge. What is the most important single piece of
knowledge gained? What will you remember in a year? Five years? How has your knowledge
grown, changed, become more sound?
Skills: What are new skills gained? Old skills improved? What about your ability to solve
problems, think, and reason? Did you actually use these skills? What skills do you need to
develop next?
Judgment: Do you understand the difference between process and content? Can you apply
principles to other classes? What about life? If you took the class again, what would you do
differently? Has your way of thinking changed?
Affective (emotions and feelings): Did you change? What about your beliefs and values? Was
the class worth your time? Do you feel good about it? What is the single most important thing
you learned about you? Evaluate your participation in discussion. Did you discuss and learn with
other students? How has the course altered your behavior? Did you grow, shrink, stagnate, or
float?
Other Useful Questions for Your First-Stage Self-Evaluation
-- How do you feel now at the end?
-- Did you work hard or not? get a lot done or not?
-- What kinds of things were difficult or frustrating? which were easy?
-- What's the most important thing you did this period?
-- What bits of reading or lecture stick in your mind?
-- Think of some important moments from this learning period: your best moments, worst
moments, typical moments, crises or turning points. Tell five or six of these in a sentence or two
each.
-- What can you learn or did you learn from each of these moments?
-- What did you learn throughout? skills and ideas. What was the most important thing? What
idea or skill was hardest to really "get?" What crucial idea or skill just came naturally?
-- When they make the movie, who will play you? What's the movie really about?
-- Describe this period as a journey: to where? what kind of terrain? Is it a complete trip or part

21. of a longer one?
-- You learned something crucial which you won't discover for a while. Guess it now.
-- Tell a few ways you could have done a better job.
-- What knowledge and skills will you need in five years? Did you learn any?
-- What did you learn? skills and content. you probably know more than your teacher about what
you learned. Tell a whole bunch of things briefly-perhaps just a list of bare phrases. But then
zero in on at least one or two important ideas or skills and tell about them in some detail. IN
effect, this part of your evaluation is a micro-essay-only a paragraph or two-that explains
something you know. The bare list of things you learned is a TELLING to the readers, which
they must take on faith; here you are SHOWING readers something you know and thereby
proving it.
-- What was the learning process like for you?
-- What does it all add up to for you? Where did you come from, and where are you going?
-- What did you learn?
-- How well did you learn it?
-- So what now? What do you see as the next steps in your learning?

22. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Self-Evaluation Handout #2
Suggestions to Students for Writing Self-evaluation
It helps to write evaluations in two stages. The first stage is really for yourself. So you can get
things straight in your own head without worrying yet about what to write for the second stage: a
transcript document aimed at the outside world. For the first stage, write quickly, loosely, and as
much as possible without stopping. Don't even worry about mechanics, organization, or whether
it makes sense. Don't even worry about whether it is true: sometimes blatant exaggeration or
distortion is the only way to get your hands on a half-buried insight. The idea is to get your
thoughts and feelings down on paper where you can see them and learn from them.
Wait until AFTER you get that interesting mess written before going back over it to decide
which things are true and which of those true things you want to share with strangers who will
read your transcript. It will be easier to write appropriately for a transcript reader when you get
the false and private things down on paper so they don't make fog and static in your head to
confuse and slow you down.
Save this first-stage writing for your portfolio. It will have lots of important insights that won't be
in your transcript. Think about sharing much or all of it with your faculty member so as to help
him or her write a better, fairer evaluation of you.
It may help to write as though you are writing a letter to a friend, loved one, teacher, or to
yourself. This will not only help you to write more easily, it will also help your writing have
some voice and sound like it comes from a real person. In revising, you can make whatever small
changes may be necessary to fit your official audience but still keep the real voice in your
writing.
Illustrate your generalizations with brief examples. You can get an event into half a sentence
("such as when I . . . ").
Tell things you are proud of. If you cannot think of any, think again. They are there. But also try
to describe those parts of your performance that you are not satisfied with; or things you need to
work on in the future; or things you would have done differently if you knew then what you
know now. You are likely to sound dumb or dishonest if you cannot think of some things you
could do better on the basis of experience.
Don't complain about how terrible the program or teachers were. It'll just sound like sour grapes
and make readers think you blame things on others and don't accept responsibility for your own
learning. Save those complaints for evaluations of program and faculty. If the complaints keep
sneaking into your self-evaluation, stop and do a draft of your program and faculty evaluations.
Get the complaints out of your system so you can focus your energies on what counts here: your
learning.

23. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Argument Grading
How will the Argument essays be graded? I will be looking for the use of a semester’s worth of
learning. That is, how well you use what has been taught this semester and how that impacts
your essay. Did you use commas correctly? Did you avoid fragments and run-ons? Are you using
an active voice? Have you avoided shifts in tense and person? Is the argument effective? Have
you included a refutation? Is the thesis strong and in the right place? Have you supported the
thesis as thoroughly as you can?
Additionally, I will use information found at
http://www.angelo.edu/faculty/jwegner/argumentative_essays.htm in order to assist me in
formulating the criteria for this final paper.
When grading your papers, I will look for intelligent and imaginative arguments. See the
Grading criteria sheet attached to your syllabus. In general, I look at:
Thesis: Does your paper give a clear sense of why you are writing? Does it make a claim on your
reader’s attention? Does it answer the question “so what”?
Focus and Organization: Does you paper focus clearly on your thesis, excluding what is
irrelevant? Do the different parts of your paper clearly relate to each other? Does the paper make
organizational sense?
Fullness: Do you develop your arguments sufficiently enough that they can be followed? Do you
stay with your subject long enough that you convince your reader that you know what you are
talking about?
Specifics: Do you make your argument in terms that are as specific as possible? Do you give
specific grounds for your claim? Do these grounds make sense?
Mechanics and Style: How well have you edited? Are there spelling errors? Awkward sentences?
Punctuation problems? Is documentation handled correctly? Does it interfere with the flow of
your paper? Does your style fit your purpose? Is the voice clear? Is your diction appropriate? Are
your sentences varied? Is your paper readable?

24. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Argument Handout #1
Here is a recap of the notes provided in class as well as notes on the way in which the essay
should be arranged. What you need to do now is follow along so that you can set up the paper.
To do this, consider the questions posed as you start to narrow the topic you have chosen into a
workable thesis, or position. The websites from which I found the information are listed at the
top of each page and can be visited for further information.
http://www.delmar.edu/engl/wrtctr/handouts/persuasive.htm
Persuasive/Argument Essay
What is a persuasive/argument essay? Persuasive writing, also known as the argument essay,
utilizes logic and reason to show that one idea is more legitimate than another idea. It attempts to
persuade a reader to adopt a certain point of view or to take a particular action. The argument
must always use sound reasoning and solid evidence by stating facts, giving logical reasons,
using examples, and quoting experts.
When planning a persuasive essay, follow these steps
1. Choose your position. Which side of the issue or problem are you going to write about, and
what solution will you offer? Know the purpose of your essay.
2. Analyze your audience. Decide if your audience agrees with you, is neutral, or disagrees with
your position.
3. Research your topic. A persuasive essay must provide specific and convincing evidence. Often
it is necessary to go beyond your own knowledge and experience. You might need to go to the
library or interview people who are experts on your topic.
4. Structure your essay. Figure out what evidence you will include and in what order you will
present the evidence. Remember to consider your purpose, your audience, and you topic.
The following criteria are essential to produce an effective argument:
Be well informed about your topic. To add to your knowledge of a topic, read thoroughly about
it, using legitimate sources. Take notes.
Test your thesis. Your thesis, i.e., argument, must have two sides. It must be debatable. If you
can write down a thesis statement directly opposing your own, you will ensure that your own
argument is debatable.
Disprove the opposing argument. Understand the opposite viewpoint of your position and then
counter it by providing contrasting evidence or by finding mistakes and inconsistencies in the
logic of the opposing argument.

25. Support your position with evidence. Remember that your evidence must appeal to reason. The
following are different ways to support your argument: Facts - A powerful means of convincing,
facts can come from your reading, observation, or personal experience.
Note: Do not confuse facts with truths. A "truth" is an idea believed by many people, but it
cannot be proven.
Statistics - These can provide excellent support. Be sure your statistics come from responsible
sources. Always cite your sources.
Quotes - Direct quotes from leading experts that support your position are invaluable.
Examples - Examples enhance your meaning and make your ideas concrete. They are the proof.
No matter what position you may take to answer your question, your argument essay will contain
four basic elements:
1. A claim, or the position that you put forth.
2. Evidence, or the details that support your claim.
3. Definition of terms, so that you are your reader share an understanding of the terms that you
use in present your claim and your evidence.
4. Consideration of counter-arguments, or opposing claims, to show your reader why these are
weak and your claim is strong.
Sometimes, the existence of counter-arguments makes students feel uncomfortable: how, they
ask, can they put forth an argument that anyone else has opposed? Here is some advice to
consider when dealing with opposing arguments:
1. What are the most important opposing arguments? What concessions can I make and still
support my own argument?
2. What evidence do I have to support my own argument? How does that evidence compare with
that used by my opposition?
3. What are possible misunderstandings of my own argument?
Testing the strength of your argument
1. Make sure your presentation is logical. Outlining an essay after you write a first draft often
can help you to test its logic. Write a one sentence summary of the main point of each paragraph.
Do the points follow logically? Would additional discussion of one or two points strengthen your
argument? Do you digress? Should your paragraphs be re-ordered?
2. Look at your use of evidence. Make sure that when you quote a passage, that quotation is
integrated into the context of your own essay. Do you give the reader enough information about
the quote in the text of your essay so that the quotation is intelligible? Remember, documenting a
quotation in a note is not the same thing as setting the quotation up correctly in your essay.
Do you interpret the quotation? Do not assume that your reader will draw the same conclusions
from the quotation that you have drawn. Quotations should not substitute for your own
explanations. Quotations are evidence for your own assertions.
3. Does your introduction and conclusion help the reader to understand the significance of your
argument? Do you answer the "so what" question?
http://english.ttu.edu/kairos/3.1/news/paradigm/argufrms.htm

26. Form: Tradition and Innovation
By now, you've probably amassed many notes and ideas for your argument, but you may be
wondering how to sort and organize this material into an essay. The following pattern, which
gives the traditional Latin names for each section, may help. Like the thesis/support pattern, it
offers a basic structural framework that can be modified for various writing contexts. The
essential parts of the pattern include the Introduction, Statement of the Case, Proposition,
Refutation, Confirmation, and Conclusion.
Introduction
(Exordium)--Draw your reader into the argument. Build common ground. Establish your tone
and style. Establish your credentials. Clarify why the issue is important. Build ethos.
Statement of the Case
(Narratio)--Tell the story behind the argument. Give any necessary background information.
Illuminate the situational context. Clarify the issue. Characterize and define the issue in terms
that are favorable to your point of view.
Proposition Statement
(Propositio)--State your central proposition. Present it carefully, much as you would the Thesis
in a Thesis/Support Essay.
Perhaps set up expectations by forecasting important subpoints (Divisio)that will be considered.
Refutation
(Refutatio)--Examine and refute opposition arguments. Wherever possible expose faulty
reasoning. The following questions will help you spot some frequent ways in which people
violate the basic principles of clear thinking.
1. Does the evidence truly warrant the general conclusions that the writer has drawn?
2. Has all the evidence been considered or only evidence that favors the writer's position?
3. Has the writer considered all the alternatives or oversimplified and reduced them to two or
three?
5. Are conclusions ever drawn from questionable generalizations?
6. Are words used clearly, accurately, and honestly?
7. Does the argument depend on emotionally charged language?
8. Does the argument ever suggest that ideas or policies are good or bad simply because they are
associated with certain individuals or groups?
9. Does the writer ever argue by comparing one thing to another? If so, is the comparison fair
and reasonable?
10. Does the writer try to sweet-talk and flatter the reader?
11. Does the argument suggest that an idea or course of action is good just because everyone else
believes or is doing it?
If you apply these questions to the opposition's case, you'll get a good idea of where the
reasoning is vulnerable. If necessary, make concessions, but try to offer counter-arguments, e.g.
True, no direct correlation has been shown between higher school funding and increased scores

27. on standardized achievement tests, but these tests are only one measure of educational progress.
Moreover, they are not designed to measure the achievement of school systems, but of individual
students.
Confirmation
(Confirmatio)--Develop and support your own case, much in the manner of a traditional
Thesis/Support Essay. Use examples, facts, and statistics to back up your claims. Avoid logical
fallacies. Argue from authority, definition, analogy, cause/effect, value, and purpose. Base your
appeal primarily on logos.
Once you have a clear vision of the confirmation's main points and supporting details, you can
consider a strategy of disclosure. Which point should come first? Which next? Which last? One
effective way of ordering the supporting points is to rank them in order of importance and then
arrange them as follows:
1. Second most important point
2. Point of lesser importance
3. Point of lesser importance
4. Most important point
Such an arrangement offers two advantages. It places your strongest points in positions of
emphasis at the beginning and end of your confirmation. Also, your strongest point coming last,
tends to anchor your argument, almost like the anchor person in a tug of war. If you were to lead
off with your best point and then run through the rest, you might give the impression of
weakness. The reader might feel you were gradually running out of ideas, becoming more and
more desperate. However, if your readers are familiar with the subject, they'll see that you have
something in reserve, that you've been scoring points steadily and consistently without even
going to your real strength. Coming in the last position, that major point will have great
emphasis--like the knock-out punch in a boxing match or the ace of trump in a game of bridge.
Digression
(Digressio)--If you choose, this is a good time to appear to stray briefly from the main issue into
a touching or entertaining anecdote designed to appeal to ethos or pathos.
Conclusion
(Peroration)--Whatever you do, end strongly. Finish with conviction. After all, if you aren't
convinced, why should your reader be? You might end with an amplification (ringing
conclusion), a review of your main points, a reference to something in your introduction, or a
plea for action. You might also invite and facilitate defections from the opposition.

28. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Argument Handout #2
This sheet explains three methods or appeals for creating a successful position paper. Whether
you realize it or not, after choosing your topic and writing the thesis, your essay will use one of
the three appeals described below, or some combination thereof, in order to write a successful
argument. That is, how well you convince a reader of your position on the topic chosen depends
on how effectively you use the appeals below. Again, I caution you to be careful when writing
this paper so that you do not carried away by your passions and lose sight of the fact that your
goal is to state your stance on a topic and then convince the reader that the stand you have taken
is, for the reasons provided, the better of the choices presented. There is no right or wrong
answer; there are only reasoned arguments.
http://english.ttu.edu/kairos/3.1/news/paradigm/argufrms.htm
Three Argumentative Appeals: Reason, Ethics, Emotion
While there's no infallible formula for winning over every reader in every circumstance, you
should learn how and when to use three fundamental argumentative appeals. According to
Aristotle, a person who wants to convince another may appeal to that person's reason (logos),
ethics (ethos), or emotion (pathos).
If we think of these three appeals as independent and of the writer as choosing just one, however,
we miss the point. The writer's job is to weave the various appeals into a single convincing
argument. As you continue to expand and develop your ideas, look for ways of combining the
three appeals to create a sound, balanced argument.
Reason
Much of the clear thinking we do in our everyday lives follows logical principles, but in a less
formal and systematic way than the thinking of a research scientist. And for most occasions this
informal reasoning is adequate. Aristotle points out that it would be just as much a mistake to
expect certain proofs in argument as to expect only probable proofs in mathematics. That's not to
say your argument can be illogical, only that you shouldn't confuse formal logic with clear
thinking or good sense, the essential qualities your argument should display. Briefly, informal
reasoning requires clearly linking your general claims with concrete, specific data.
When our thinking begins with specifics and moves toward a generalization, we say that we are
moving inductively. That is, if you were to taste several hard, green apples and then draw the
general conclusion that all hard, green apples are sour, you would be using inductive reasoning.
And, of course, the more apples tasted and the greater the variation in the times and conditions of
tasting, the greater the likelihood that your general conclusion would be valid. In your writing,
then, when you reason inductively, ask whether you've examined the evidence carefully, whether
it justifies your general conclusion, and whether you've given readers enough specific evidence
to persuade them that your thinking is sound and your general conclusion is true.
Reasoning that moves in the opposite direction (from general to specific) is called deductive
reasoning. Here, you take a general principle that you know to be true and use it to understand a

29. specific situation. For instance, you may know from experience that as a general rule bad
weather reduces business at the golf course. You may also learn that today's weather will be cold
and rainy. From these two pieces of knowledge, you can produce a third, more specific piece:
Business at the golf course will be slow today. In writing, deductive reasoning most often
appears in a shortened version (called an enthymeme) that may be hard to recognize. That's
because one or more links in the chain of reason have not been stated directly but only implied.
Ethics
No matter how solid your reasoning, readers may not accept your argument unless they're also
convinced that you're a person of wisdom, honesty, and good will. If you misrepresent the
evidence, misunderstand the implications of your own value structure, or seek to hurt some
individual or group, you can expect to alienate your readers.
The appeal to character is often subtle, affecting readers almost unconsciously, yet often
decisively.
"Ah, I see. This writer pretends to be a friend of Mexican-Americans, but her word choice shows
that she understands almost nothing of our culture. And her proposal would undermine our
whole way of life. Of course, she'd get to build her apartments, and it's obvious that's all she
really cares about."
If you realize that readers are likely to analyze your character and intentions this way, you'll see
that the best way to put ethical appeal in your writing is to build a strong, healthy relationship
with your readers. Convince them that they can trust you to be fair, honest, well-informed, and
well-intentioned. Then, having established that trust, don't betray it.
Emotion
Many people believe that emotional appeals by their very nature subvert reason and therefore are
better left to TV hucksters and political candidates than to writers who want their ideas taken
seriously. Because this common view has some validity, emotional appeals must be used with
restraint and discretion, or they may prove counterproductive. Nevertheless, while an argument
founded mostly on feelings and emotions may be superficial and biased, an argument that is
carefully reasoned and honestly presented probably won't be hurt by a bit of pathos. In fact, it
will probably be helped.
One way to build pathos is to illustrate or dramatize an idea. This may involve little more than
folding short descriptive and narrative examples into the argument. Are you arguing that your
city needs to take stiffer measures against drunk drivers? Why not find a place to include a
description of the face of a child who was injured in an accident caused by drinking? Or you
might want to tell the story of a driver who caused several accidents because the individual's
license was never revoked. Including such narrative and descriptive passages can help readers
feel the urgency of your proposition so that it gets beyond the level of abstract intellectual
speculation and becomes a matter of immediate human concern.
Careful word choice also influences an argument's emotional appeal. . . . The point here is that
the overall emotional texture of your argument is the result of many individual choices about
which word to use.
• Should I speak of "drunk" or "intoxicated" drivers?
• Should I call them a "menace" or a "concern"?
• Should they be "thrown into jail" or "incarcerated"?
• Do we need to "teach them a lesson" or "make them aware of the consequences of their

30. actions"?
Such choices, even though they must be made one at a time, can't be seen as independent of each
other. Their force is cumulative. They communicate how you feel--and by implication think the
reader ought to feel--about your subject. If you want the reader to identify with you emotionally,
you'll choose words carefully, making sure they're appropriate for you as a writer, for your
readers, and for your overall purpose in writing.
If you have other questions about position papers, please consult
http://www.mala.bc.ca/~johnstoi/arguments/argument1.htm, which contains a handbook on the
Argument Mode of writing. It has many examples and suggestions on how to approach these
types of papers.

31. Matt Zebehazy
English 101
Fall 2004
Portfolio Checklist
First, be sure that the portfolio is set up correctly: all drafts on the left hand side of the two
pocket folder, in reverse order; all final copies, with cover letters, on the right hand side, in
reverse order; and the three major revisions under the two letters of self assessment in the
middle, not in a pocket.
Next, be sure that you use the following checklist to ensure that everything is in the folder.
_____ Paper #9: Argument
_____ Paper #8: Comparison/Contrast: Now and Then
_____ Paper #7: Comparison and Contrast: Gender Approaches to a given activity or ritual
_____ Paper #6: Classification and Division
_____ Paper #5: Classification and Division: Lies or Greed
_____ Paper #4: Cause and Effect
_____ Paper #3: Cause and Effect
_____ Paper #2: Illustration and Example
_____ Paper #1: Process
Remember, the portfolio is due to me no later than 3:30 PM on Thursday, December 9, 2004.