By Julian Brouwer

1. PAGE 18
SUNDA MIRROR, June 7, 2009
Y
E
WHIRLWIND RAGE
OF JIMMY WHITE
Blame... Carson
Banking
collapse
‘Satanic’
By THOMAS CONNOLLY
Splash cash... The pub where the
trio had their nice refreshing pints
THE new moderator of the
Presbyterian Church in
Ireland has blamed the
collapse of the church’s
Mutual Society on Satan.
Reverend Stafford
Carson said: “What Satan
failed to achieve through
arguments about theology
and ecclesiology, he now
seeks to achieve through
financial crisis.”
The society got into
difficulty in January when
many of its 10,000 investors withdrew cash because
the society did not have its
deposits guaranteed.
At its height the society
had assets of €347million.
The British Financial
Services Authority has
rubbished claims of
supernatural involvement.
A spokesman said: “The
society was conducting
regulated activities without the necessary authorisation or exemption.”
Church Communications
Secretary, Stephen Lynas,
said it was not the official
policy to blame Lucifer for
the failure: “I think
Reverend Carson was just
trying to point out how
Satan can attack in certain
ways but we are certainly
not blaming Satan for the
collapse.”
The society is currently
in administration and is in
the process of winding
down.
From JULIAN BROUWER
in New York
THIS is snooker legend
Jimmy “Whirlwind” White
as telly fans have never
seen him – sozzled and
chucking pints of beer in his
Irish manager’s face...
C
M
Y
K
Jimmy, six times world
finalist, is generally known for
his sportsmanship and good
humour, but when his Dublinborn manager, Kevin Kelly,
started telling him a few “home
truths” The Whirlwind flipped
out.
The incident at a private
binge in Jimmy’s local boozer,
The Victoria in Oxshott, near
London, was captured by a
documentary team following
Jimmy around the snooker
circuit.
Indeed the documentary has
captured Kevin being bullied so
much by Jimmy and fellow
snooker
great,
Alex
“Hurricane” Higgins, that the
manager has become a bit of a
star in his own right.
Kevin, who has been mates
with Jimmy for years, told the
Irish Sunday Mirror: “People
keep coming up to me and
saying, ‘I know you. I’ve seen
you on the DVD.’
“They tell me they think it’s
hilarious. I’ve become a bit
famous because of it.
“It was a completely fly-onthe-wall documentary. There’s
no acting, no exaggeration,
it’s just how it happened. It was
a normal day for us, if you can
call it normal.
“The cameras caught us after
we’d been drinking all day. The
day started at the BBC sports
awards in Birmingham, then
continued in a limousine to
London and then to [Rolling
Stone] Ronnie Wood’s house.
“We woke this poor guy in
the pub in Oxshott, Surrey, up
at two in the morning,
forgetting the camera crew
was still filming us!
“Fans don’t normally see
that side of me and Jimmy.
That we do have a drink and
occasionally go a bit mad.”
In the movie, which is
very popular on
YouTube, a well-oiled
Kevin is captured on
film ranting at
Jimmy.
Kevin, whose
face has been
covered in marker
pen by Jimmy for
a joke, slurs:
“When I met you,
you were in a flat
in Streatham. You
had nothing, you
were bank-rupt.
“I got slagged all
day. (People said)
‘what you doing with
him? He’s finished’ –
and that was 10 years
ago.”
An outraged Jimmy
responds by tipping a
pint of beer over his
friend’s head.
As Kevin remarks:
“Well, that’s out of order
that,” Jimmy throws
another two pints in his
face.
Star… Portman
All’s fair in love and war... Jimmy, Kevin and Alex swear and bicker the night away
Cue legend’s fight with Irish manager
When the landlord tries to
calm the warring pair
down, Jimmy tells him:
“I’m sorry boss. You
don’t want me to
knock him out, do
you? He’s my mate.
But he’s rude.”
Turning to
Kelly,
The
Whirlwind says
in a softer voice:
“You need to
calm down,
Kevin. I don’t
want to start
fighting with people. Don’t act
like a ***t your whole life.”
Kevin replies: “F*** off. All
you’ve ever done is pick up a
bit of wood,” then grabs his own
bit of wood – a pub chair – and
starts waving it around.
Jimmy says: “Listen ***t.
F*** me now with your
shennanigans and Paddy
moods. Shush, w****r!”
He then grabs Kelly by the
throat, imploring the camera
crew: “Get this on tape.”
Ripping Kevin’s shirt,
Jimmy says: “Are you going to
be polite – cos we knock people
out for fun who are 10% ruder
than you.”
Kevin replies: “I’ll be quiet.”
Later, after a limo drops
them off at White’s sprawling
Surrey mansion, Kevin is seen
falling face first out of the car.
In addition to looking after
the interests of White, Kevin
also arranges exhibitions
featuring double world champ
Alex Higgins.
But in the video, the Belfastborn cue artist proves to be
even less grateful than Gentle
Jim, bullying Kevin relentlessly during a black cab ride
through London’s Piccadilly
Circus.
Kevin said: “I manage Alex
now, for my sins. It’s an
absolute manager challenge.”
Speaking of the video, he
said: “It had been a long day.
We did have a LOT to drink.
“Somebody made the
decision to leave all that stuff
in. I suppose it could have been
edited out but we only get like
that once in every two years!
“The documentary team
followed Jimmy around for
about two years.
“The cameraman told me
he’d filmed gangsters before
and they didn’t behave like us!
We lead a busy and unusual
lifestyle.”
Since the video was posted
on YouTube, Jimmy’s
forgiving fans have actually
APPLAUDED his treatment of
poor Kevin.
Some of them even thought
he should have been far nastier!
Portman
to take
up arms
By JIM CLARKE
STAR Wars beauty
Natalie Portman is to
spend the summer in
Belfast playing a warrior
princess in a new comedy.
The as-yet unnamed film
will be shot in the new
Paint Hall studio in
Belfast’s Titanic Quarter,
and also will star
Pineapple Express duo
Danny McBride and James
Franco.
The film, which was
written by McBride,
features a lazy, stoned,
prince who must complete
a quest to save the kingdom and his brother’s
fiancee.
En route, he encounters
Portman’s character, with
whom he falls in love.
Insiders describe the
film as being a comic
twist on classic Eighties
fantasy films like The
Dark Crystal and Krull.
Filming is scheduled to
begin in July.