1. Masculinity and Vulnerability: Men’s Memoirs Destigmatizing Anxiety and
Expanding Representations of Masculinity
Lawrence Jolón
AMST 402: Writing in American Studies
Professor Marisol LeBrón
April 29, 2014

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Introduction
In our modern age, with increasing globalization, competitive sites like fast-paced work
environments, and increased communication with e-mail and cell phone communication, our
modern world can feel suffocating and everyone becomes familiar with this one word: anxiety.
With our expanding world, Daniel Smith states, “we are supposed to like freedom,” the freedom
that this modern world brings.1 However, “freedom is also a very frightening and painful thing.
Freedom means that you can make a mistake. Freedom means that you have obligations and
responsibilities.”2 The structure of American society and this freedom does affect people
differently, especially when taking into account the restrictiveness of gender norms and the
expectation of men to handle the pressures of everyday life stoically and without failure. This
chaotic world can lead some men to falter under pressure, especially for men suffering with an
anxiety disorder. Kogan notes, “Men… have traditionally shied away from therapy because
talking about their feelings was viewed as negative, non-masculine and against male robust
image.”3Although anxiety can affect anyone, and a large population of Americans suffer from
anxiety, men lack spaces to speak about their experiences dealing with anxiety and face shame
for accepting that part of their identity. Men with anxiety disorders become isolated and must
face their internal pressures alone because of masculine norms and because of the necessity to
continue with daily pressures in order to survive.
While the (NIMH) does report that women are 60% more likely to develop some sort of
anxiety disorder than men developing anxiety disorders, this statistic does not account for
cultural norms about gender roles that shadow the pain, and anxiety men experience within the
1 NPR Staff, “‘Monkey Mind’: When DebilitatingAnxiety Takes Over,” NPR.org, lastmodified July 3, 2012,
http://www.npr.org/2012/07/03/156200170/monkey-mind-when-debilitating-anxiety-takes-over.
2 Ibid.
3 Marcela J Kogan, “Men’s mental health needs often misunderstood,” American Psychological Association 31, no.9
(2000): 64.

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United States.4 Psychologists have conducted multiple studies in which they interviewed men
about their anxiety disorders and their ways of coping with that mental illness. Across many
studies, results remain consistent; Men have a difficult time speaking about their anxiety
disorder, finding help to cope with their anxiety disorder, and feel that their own masculinity
affects the ways in which they can cope with their anxiety disorder.5 I do not intend to discredit
the experiences of women that suffer from various anxiety disorders, but for the reasons stated
previously it is important to address that men’s experiences with anxiety differ and must be
discussed. For men in the United States, there is the double bind of having to deal with the
stigma shrouding mental illness and the restrictive expectations of masculinity, which make it
difficult to talk about one’s anxiety disorder. Because of this double bind, it is essential to have
voices that men can relate to about living with an anxiety disorder.
This project seeks to uncover voices silenced by hegemonic masculine expectations in
order to discover the power these counter-cultural voices have in combatting toxic expectations6
of masculinity. In addition, this project seeks to prove how the stigmatization of mental illness is
connected to femininity, because dominant masculine norms question the male identity of men
who suffer from mental illness. Because of the feminization of mental illness, and the silencing
of discussions about mental health within hegemonic masculine discourse, there are only two
memoirs detailing the male experience with anxiety. This project only utilizes Scott Stossel’s My
Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind and Daniel Smith’s
4 Any Anxiety Disorder Among Adults,” Nimh.nih.gov, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-
anxiety-disorder-among-adults.shtml.
5 Tim Lomas, Tina Cartwright, Trudi Edginton, and Damien Ride, “‘I was so done in that I just recognized it very
plainly,“You need to do something”’: Men’s narratives of struggle, distress and turningto meditation,” Health
(London) 191,no.17 (2013): 191-208.; Ali Hagget, "Masculinity and mental health - the long view," Psychologist 27,
no. 6 (2014): 426.; Joshua L. Berger, et al,"Men’s reactions to mental health labels,forms of help-seeking, and
sources of help-seekingadvice," Psychology Of Men & Masculinity 14, no. 4 (2013):433.
6 Those toxic expectations includebeing emotionless, the assertion of dominance,and homophobia.

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Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety as primary sources to uncover how these male identified
individuals talk about their experiences with an anxiety disorder. Both Stossel and Smith wrote
their memoirs as a method of coping with their anxiety disorders and to relieve the stress they
felt from having to pass as “normal” by not revealing that aspect of their identity. Both authors
effectively speak about their experiences as a man suffering with anxiety that American society
should understand and validate, which challenges the dominant norms of masculinity. However,
their language is still problematic because they indirectly correlate having an anxiety disorder
with being feminine and something they should be ashamed of, and at certain points, reinforces
the dominant expectations of masculinity.
Throughout the project, I utilize close reading to analyze the language both Stossel and
Smith use to speak about their dealings with their anxiety disorders, and their indirect tie of their
anxiety to their masculine identity. In conjunction with close reading, I use theories of gender
performativity to dissect the authors’ language. Through C. J. Pascoe’s utilization of
“compulsory masculinity” and the theory of multiple masculinities in her text Dude, You’re a
Fag, I help analyze instances where both authors perform masculinity in order to shroud their
anxiety, and instances where they challenge the stigma behind anxiety in order to expand
representations of masculinity. Judith Butler’s work on the performativity of gender will allow
me to explore the instances of masculine performativity that both Stossel and Smith employ in
order to fall within the norms of hegemonic masculinity. I draw from Michael Kimmel’s theory
of the “Guy Code” which assists in specifically detailing the gendered masculine norms that
socially exists, and helps create a framework to identify aspects of hegemonic masculinity that
the male authors either combat or support within their texts. All of these theories in conjunction
will reveal the effectiveness of the authors’ language to combat mental illness stigma, and

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provide textual evidence about how that stigma also correlates with the idea that mental illness
solely connects with femininity.
Although there are many types of anxiety disorders, I will only be focusing on general
anxiety disorder, panic disorder, certain types of phobia and performance anxiety, as these are
the types of anxiety the authors specifically mention and struggle with daily. Though other types
of anxiety disorders exist, I do not intend to continue the stigmatization of other anxiety
disorders and mental illness. Only Stossel and Smith’s memoirs about anxiety and masculinity
exist, therefore those are the only types of anxiety disorders that I can mention in this project.
Although these male authors have mentioned their own struggles with anxiety and throughout
their texts mention incidences in which their own masculine identity was in question (which also
lead to anxious feelings), I explicitly make the connection between anxiety and masculinity.
Essential to understanding this project is the term hegemonic masculinity. Hegemonic
masculinity is a social complex that refers to the singular type of dominant masculinity, which
attributes power over subjugated groups. Because of this power structure, mental illness
correlates with perceptions of weakness and can place an individual’s masculinity in question.
That the authors do not mention how dominant characteristics of masculinity are hurtful and can
lead to masculine anxiety (not living up to the expectations of masculinity) is not surprising
considering the American societal expectations of masculinity: toughness, dominance,
professional achievement and lack of emotion. When referring to the expectations of
masculinity, these characteristics are the ones I will be referring to throughout this project.
I will divide this paper into five different sections in order to explore the history of the
feminization of mental illness in America, and how that history ties to the contradictory gendered
language both authors use to speak about their anxiety disorders. The first section will provide a

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brief history of how hysteria, the first mental illness attributed to women, created the lasting
legacy of correlating mental illness with femininity, and the shaming and repudiation of mental
illness as unmasculine.7 The second section will explore how both Stossel and Smith refer to
their sexuality and sexual experiences, and how their sexual experiences coupled along with
norms of masculinity lead to anxiety. The third section will explore how Stossel and Smith speak
about the pressure to succeed is connected to their anxiety and their own masculinity, and how
failure leads to a blow to their own masculine identity. The fourth section will detail how the
authors hide their anxiety in order to pass as “sane” and “masculine” and how they abuse certain
substances like anxiety medications and alcohol in order to cope with their anxiety. Finally, I
will attempt to analyze what historical events have occurred in this contemporary moment, which
made it possible for both Stossel and Smith to publish their own memoirs about dealing with
anxiety.
At the end of this project, I hope to highlight the importance of the existence of these
memoirs since few men publish their voices about dealing with anxiety disorders. Smith and
Stossel’s struggles with anxiety will clearly detail the unhealthy coping mechanisms they use
because of masculine performance leading to dangerous ways to hide their anxiety disorders.
Their explanations of why they hide their anxiety disorders and why they use unhealthy coping
mechanisms will also reveal the cultural reasons for their behavior, and the need to challenge
dominant masculine stereotypes. Although their memoirs challenge masculine norms, their
voices are not representative of all men dealing with anxiety. Personally, I felt alone when
dealing with my anxiety disorders and I saw the connections on how my masculine identity
influenced my methods of dealing with anxiety. Stossel, psychologists, and I have noticed that in
7 Cecilia Tasca,Mariangela Rapetti, Mauro Giovanni Carta,and Bianca Fadda,“Women and Hysteria in The History
of Mental Health,” Clinical Practice & Epidemiology in Mental Health 8, (2012): 110-119.

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order to deal with anxiety, there need to be conversations about this topic in male circles.
Therefore, this project will hopefully begin or contribute to those conversations in order to
combat restrictive gender norms, the stigmatization of mental illness, and help alleviate the
isolation other men feel because they have to deal with anxiety.
Historical Context and Literature Review
Anxiety is a mental disorder that affects a large number of American citizens, yet the
American government only recently declared that it would address this public health issue. This
recent declaration details the lack of knowledge and interest in addressing the issue of mental
illness in the United States, and demonstrates how that lack of understanding leads to the
public’s stigmatization of mental illness. In 1999, the U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services released the first Surgeon General’s Report on Mental Health, which detailed the
number of Americans suffering from mental disorders in order to help alleviate the stigma
associated with mental illness. The report estimated that 16.4 % of the population between the
ages of 18 -54, or approximately 45,756,000 U.S. citizens suffered from an anxiety disorder.8 In
2005, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) reported that this common type of mental
disorder affected about 18.1% of the American population and this information shows that the
number of Americans reporting an anxiety disorders has continued to increase.9 Although these
statistics reveal that a large population of people are struggling with an anxiety disorder, the
Surgeon General’s report also reveals that Americans largely stigmatize mental illnesses because
of their lack of understanding of mental health. Scott Stossel, editor of The Atlantic, notes that
“each successive era finds physicians and commentators arguing that their age is the most
8 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Mental Health: A Report of the Surgeon General. (Rockville,MD:
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration,
Center for Mental Health Services, National Institutes of Health, National Instituteof Mental Health, 1999), 47.
9 “Any Anxiety Disorder Among Adults.”

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anxious ever- the Gilded Age, the Industrial Revolution, even 2nd century Rome had Galen the
physician saying there has never been such anxiety.”10 Just as Stossel notes, anxiety has existed
for centuries and many people suffer from these types of disorders but there is a culture of
silence surrounding mental illness. The lack of conversation about anxiety helps create the
stigmatization of the mental illness and unless there is a rupture of this silence, the stigmatization
will continue.
Although Stossel notes that people have tried to address the issue of anxiety since the 2nd
century, anxiety as a mental disorder did not become part of the vocabulary that psychiatrists
used until the American Psychiatric Association (APA) published the third Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III) in 1980.11 Part of the issue in revising this
version of the DSM was whether the APA should remove term “neurosis” and how to create a
standard definition of “neurosis” for medical professionals and health insurance companies.12
Medical professionals finally determined that they should define the different types of neurosis,
but health insurance companies wanted clear definitions in order to make their determinations
about how to cover this emerging, definable medical condition. Ultimately, the definition
remained and the APA further clarified the definition in the DSM-IV since they realized that
there are different types of anxiety like general anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and social anxiety
disorder.
Finally, in 1994, there was a set definition for anxiety, and the APA defines general
anxiety disorder as “excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more
days than not and for at least 6 months… [and] finds it difficult to control the worry,” along with
10 Brent Lang, “Atlantic Editor Scott Stossel’s ‘Anxiety’ Memoir: ‘Every Age Thinks of Itself as the Most Anxious,’”
Thewrap.com, lastmodified February 4, 2014, http://www.thewrap.com/atlantic-editor-scott-stossel-age-anxiety/.
11 Rick Mayes and Allan V. Horwitz, “DSM-III and the Revolution in the Classification of Mental Illness,”Journal of
the History of the Behavioral Sciences 41, no.3 (2005):261-262.
12 Ibid.,262.

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symptoms associated with the disorder.13 Although this definition is not perfect, medical
professionals were now able to diagnose individuals with various anxiety disorders. The U.S.
government was behind not only the APA in regards to addressing anxiety, but also the diagnosis
and treatment of anxiety is a developing field in psychology. The recent inclusion of anxiety
signifies that there is limited research about how to deal with anxiety, as well as limited studies
about how to address the issue of men not seeking mental health resources. The underdeveloped
research about anxiety has also contributed to the continuing stigmatization of men’s mental
illness, since researchers have not effectively addressed the cultural factors of gender roles
contributing to mental illness stigma.
Although both the APA and the U.S. government have recently addressed U.S. anxiety,
that alone does not explain why men have difficulty speaking about their own difficulties with
anxiety. Heteronormative gender roles have dictated that having a mental illness does not fit
within masculine gender norms and expectations. Instead, those restrictive gender roles ascribe
having a mental illness as feminine.14 The feminization of mental illness has a long history which
dates back to 1900 BC where hysteria was first associated with “spontaneous uterus movement
within the female body.” However, Hippocrates first defined “hysteria,” a mental illness created
to describe female madness, in 5th century BC.15 Hippocrates connects hysteria with movements
within the uterus and by connecting the female body with hysteria; he constructs hysteria as a
female condition and constructs the female body as abnormal. Although Hippocrates’s definition
of hysteria does not have any scientific basis, the legacy of his work continues into the 17th and
18th century with Pierre Roussel publishing “Systeme physique et moral de la femme” in which
13 American Psychiatric Association, Diagnosticand statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-IV-TR.
(Washington,DC: American Psychiatric Association,2000).
14 Inge K. Broverman, Susan Raymond Vogel, Donald M. Broverman, Frank E. Clarkson,Paul S.Rosenkrantz, “Sex-
Role Stereotypes: A Current Appraisal,”Journal of Social Issues 28, no.2 (1972): 61, 63.
15 “Women and Hysteria in The History of Mental Health.”

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he states that femininity is “an essential nature, with defined functions, and [hysteria] is
explained by the non-fulfillment of natural desire.”16 Roussel expands upon the idea by
connecting hysteria to the female body and attributes the disorder to women not fulfilling their
own gender role. Early scholars create the thinking that mental illness can only be ascribed to
women, and provides powerful pseudo-biological evidence that establishes this as a dominant
mode of thinking.
In 1897, Freud states that “male hysteria” exists along with female hysteria and begins to
challenge the antiquated notion that mental illness is primarily a feminine problem. Despite his
intervention, the definition of female hysteria remains and its legacy is present among various
centuries in psychiatric literature. Because of these scholars attribution of mental illness with
femininity, this mode of thinking also begins to pervade other types of texts. Heather Meek notes
that although hysteria is “in many ways a real disease, it also operated as a powerful cultural
metaphor, a catch-all that explained everything that was wrong with women: it confirmed their
inherent pathology, their weakness, their changeability, and their inferior reasoning.”17 She notes
that in 18th century women’s literature, women began attributing hysteria as part of their
feminine being not only because of inherently wrong biological reasons, but because they cannot
fulfill their restrictive gendered role as a woman. This mentality continues to pervade in popular
culture, and mental illness not only becomes biologically attributed to women, but society
culturally begins to ascribe this “abnormal” condition as un-masculine. Stepping back into
medical literature, the APA finally removes the term “hysteria” in the DSM-III in 1980. Ávila
and Terra note that today, all discussion of “hysteria” has disappeared, but its cultural influence,
16 Ibid.
17 Heather Meek, "Of WanderingWombs and Wrongs of Women: EvolvingConceptions of Hysteria in the Age of
Reason," English Studies In Canada 35, no. 2-3 (2009): 107.

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its sexist roots, and cultural stigmatization remains.18 The influence of attributing hysteria, which
also has symptoms correlated closely with anxiety, with femininity, continues to bolster the
stigma behind mental illness and the limitations of men speaking about their hardships with
anxiety.
Besides the legacy of the feminization of mental illness, the lack of men’s voices that
speak about their own experiences with anxiety may also be attributed to how anxiety correlates
with social class. Stossel mentions within his text, that anxiety may have a privileged
background when psychologists coined a new term for anxiety in the United States in the late
19th century. He mentions that the term “neurasthenia” developed which “afflicted primarily
ambitious, upwardly mobile members of the urban middle and upper classes— especially the
“‘brain-workers in almost every household of the Northern and Eastern States’”— whose
nervous systems were overtaxed by a rapidly modernizing American civilization.”19 With the
language psychologists were using to describe neurasthenia, it seemed like an elite type of
mental disorder at the time, a mental disorder that could not possibly affect those that were not at
least upper-middle class and were not White. However, the symptoms of neurasthenia defined by
George Miller Beard’s text, A Practical Treatise on Nervous Exhaustion, include: “tenderness of
the scalp; dilated pupils; headache; “‘Muscoe Volitantes, or floating specks before the eyes’”;
dizziness; ringing in the ears,” and many other symptoms.20 Many of these physical symptoms of
neurasthenia also directly replicate the same physical symptoms that individuals suffering from
anxiety can have today. The historical background of neurasthenia signified that the diagnosis
18 Lazslo Antônio Ávila,,and João Ricardo Terra,"Hysteria and its metamorphoses," Revista Latinoamericana De
Psicopatologia Fundamental, 15, no. 1 (2012): 35.
19 Scott Stossel,My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind. (New York: Random
House Books, 2013), 225.
20 George Beard, A Practical Treatise on Nervous Exhaustion (Neurathenia), Its Symptoms, Nature, Sequences,
Treatment. (New York: E. B. Treat & Cooper Union, 1894).

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and treatment of anxiety has a privileged background. Because of the increasing number of
individuals being treated for neurasthenia, society began to see those people as “incurable, [and]
oppressive.”21 At first, the elite would seek treatment from nerve specialists at public hospitals;
but as stigma grew around anxiety and the elite felt cultural pressure, they began to look for
private practices to cure their ailment. This move advanced research about anxiety, but also
created privilege around sites of anxiety treatment. The term neurasthenia stopped being used in
the DSM after the 1960s, the DSM-IV continued to include neurasthenia “as a culture bound
syndrome” which indicates that its use has shifted from an affliction for elite White people, to a
condition that affects people of color.22 Perhaps it is possible for both Smith and Stossel to share
their stories because of their own social class and racial identity; both authors are upper-middle
class and White. Regardless, the association of anxiety in the late 19th century as a mental illness
for the social elite has also contributed to the lack of men’s voices about anxiety.
As mentioned previously, there is a connection between mental illness, stigma, and
gender, since stigma functions to cement gender roles in American society and gender
performance ties inextricably to mental illness. Erving Goffman defines stigma as “an attribute
that is deeply discrediting” and is connected to the “language of relationships” among
individuals in society.23 Having a stigmatized attribute creates a dichotomy of normal and
abnormal, and within mental illness, those without a mental illness are normal and those plighted
with a mental illness are abnormal. The stigmatization of mental illness falls under Goffman’s
21 Andrea Tone, The Age of Anxiety: A History of America’s Turbulent Affair with Tranquilizers. (New York: Basic
Books, 2009),14.
22 JH Flaskerud,“Neurasthennia:here and there, now and then,” Issues in Mental Health Nursing 28, no.6 (2007).
23 Erving Goffman. “Stigma and Social Identity.,”In Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity, (New
York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.1963), 3.

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categories of “character stigma” and “tribal stigma”24 since mental illness in American society is
an indicator of “weak will” and has a history of people attributing this illness as feminine.25
Goffman’s analysis of stigma is useful to understand how individuals with mental illness fit
within the American social hierarchy, and provides an initial foundation for other scholars to
understand how hegemonic relationships function in American society.
Building upon Goffman’s work about stigma, Judith Butler adds to his theory in order
to explain the relationship between gender identities in the U.S., and how individuals outside of
the male-female gender binary become stigmatized because of their gender performance. She
specifically identifies that “gender is in no way a stable identity or locus of agency from which
various acts [sic] proceed; rather, it is an identity tenuously constituted in time— an identity
instituted through a stylized repetition of acts.”26 Her analysis describes how individuals are not
born with a gender identity, but act out gendered characteristics so people understand and define
their gender identity. However, their actions are not merely individual actions acted out of their
own free will. Butler states, “the gendered body acts its part in a culturally confined space and
enacts interpretations within the confines of already existing directives.”27 There are larger
societal factors that influence how the authors perform their own gendered identity, and there are
set societal norms which determines how men should perform masculinity. Without fitting
within those cultural norms, society can stigmatize men for not being “masculine enough” and
places those individuals on a lower rung in the societal hierarchical ladder. Therefore, men
24 Character stigma refers to stigmatized attributes associated to an individual’s mental and physical
characteristics.Tribal stigma refers to stigmatized attributes societally assigned to a group of people.
25 Ibid,4.
26 Judith Butler, “Performative Acts and Gender Constitution:An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory,”
Theatre Journal 40, no.4 (1988): 526.
27 Ibid.

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continuously perform masculine identity in order to cement one’s own gender identity, and men
follow certain characteristics in order to prevent any confusion about a man’s identity.
Following Butler’s theory about gender performativity, Michael Kimmel advances
Butler’s thoughts by specifically outlining which characteristics fall under hegemonic
masculinity, and identifies the dangers of following those restrictive characteristics. Kimmel
states that masculinity is the total repudiation of femininity, the embodiment of success in all
aspects (e.g. socially, economically, etc.), the abandonment of feelings, and the engagement in
risky behavior.28 These characteristics ultimately are problematic because it leads to a narrow
window of what constitutes masculinity, encourages dangerous and violent behavior, and is
inherently misogynistic. In addition, men try to emulate these attributes because “they want to be
positively evaluated by other men.”29 This ties to Butler’s explanation of gender performativity
as an act that reinforces social norms, and drives the idea forward that men may not want to
embody these characteristics, but feel obligated to do so in order to avoid stigmatization. Kimmel
also ties the restrictiveness of masculine identity and mental health together by stating that
hegemonic masculinity makes men “[shut] down emotionally” and “suppress compassion.”30
Dominant masculine norms cause men to not only limit their gender identity, but also isolate
men that show any weakness of character, such as having a mental illness. Hegemonic masculine
gender performance limits representations of men and contributes to the culture of silence around
mental health issues for men.
Despite Kimmel’s bleak picture of the pervasiveness of gender norms, C.J. Pascoe builds
upon literature in masculinity studies to explore how different types of masculinity can exist in
28 Michael Kimmel, Guyland: the Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. (New York: Harper Perennial,2009),
464.
29 Ibid,47.
30 Ibid,55.

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spite of hegemonic masculinity and defines Butler’s theory of gender performativity for men.
Pascoe states that few men “are actually hegemonically masculine, but all men do benefit, to
different extents, from this sort of definition of masculinity.”31 This idea of multiple
masculinities helps to explain how men from different backgrounds negotiate with and express
their own masculine identity, while trying to conform to dominant masculine norms. Although
different types of masculinity exist, it does not mean that men can willingly fall outside of the
reality of gendered norms. Nevertheless, Pascoe’s theory paints a more complex picture of how
men can “act their masculinity,” and perhaps use their differing masculine privileges to expand
representations of “acceptable masculinity.” Although men could try to act outside of the
confines of hegemonic masculinity, men always act out “compulsive masculinity,” which ties
gender identity to the political processes of regulating behavior in society.32 There are never
instances where men can stop performing their male identity since cultural norms dictate the
constant regulation and cementation of restrictive gender norms.
Despite the prevalence of Americans suffering from mental illness, there exists a long,
convoluted history of the stigmatization of mental illness, because anxiety comes from a long
history of feminizing the illness. This feminization of mental illness shrouds any further
conversations and advancements in anxiety treatment, and prevents men from sharing their
experiences with anxiety because of the need to be compulsively masculine. However, Pascoe
provides hope because through her theory of multiple masculinities, it is possible to act outside
of gender norms and there is a chance to destigmatize mental illness and destabilize dominant
norms of masculinity. Both Stossel and Smith write their memoirs in a cultural moment where
they can share their anxious selves and potentially help construct a space for men to speak about
31 C.J. Pascoe, Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School. (Berkeley: U of California,2007),7.
32 Ibid,86.

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anxiety. Nevertheless, hegemonic masculine norms are still pervasive, and it does ultimately
limit how both authors speak about their anxiety, and at times, continue to associate mental
illness with femininity; that demonstrates the lasting legacy of the feminization of mental illness
which affects Americans today.
Masculinity, Anxiety and Sexuality
Central to both Smith’s and Stossel’s memoirs about anxiety are their focus on their
sexuality, whether that means engaging in sexual activity or other instances connected to their
heterosexuality. Although, neither author directly mentions how dominant masculine norms
shape their sexuality and sexual experiences, masculine norms cause anxiety and worry in a way
that is damaging to the authors. Throughout their memoirs, they continually ask what factors
may be causing their anxious state and because of their intense focus on their own anxiety
disorders, it seems that both authors cannot make the connection to the social norms that may be
causing their distress. For example, Smith constantly describes the mental pain he feels before
and after his sexual experiences, yet he never mentions how his compulsive performance of
masculinity seems to be a contributing factor to his pain.
Although Smith’s memoir is about exercising control over his own anxiety and ultimately
himself, a main theme from his experience with anxiety is the worry that he feels during his
sexual experiences. Smith notes that his first sexual experience when he was a teenager may
have been one of the root causes of his anxiety and his thoughts during that experience starkly
describe his intense worry:
“Don’t look at me. I’m ridiculous. I’m pathetic. I’m hopeless. I’m the late chapters of the
Kama Sutra illustrated in the style of Archie Pals ‘n’ Gals. I should have watched more
pornography. I should have done more push-ups, chin-ups, sit-ups, leg presses, dead lifts.

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I should have drunk less. I should have drunk more. I should have masturbated less. I
should have masturbated more.”33
Smith explicitly states he is not performing his masculine identity fully and effectively by
referring to his lack of sexual experience, his lack of a muscular physique since he did not
exercise enough, and his confusion about what actions to perform in order to act out his
masculinity. He believes that he fails to be compulsively masculine since he does not fulfill the
dominant norms of masculinity, despite the anxiety that consumes him in this scene. Smith states
that he is “the late chapters of the Kama Sutra illustrated in the style of Archie Pals ‘n’ Gals”
because he believes that he cannot perform his masculinity since he would fail at effectively
having sex.34 Even if he were equipped with the knowledge on how to have sex, he believes the
entire interaction would still be a joke. Coupled along with his fear about being inadequate at
having sex, Smith demonstrates that he should have ascribed to the masculine norm of having a
“hard-body” by “[doing] more push-ups, chin-ups, sit-ups, leg presses, dead lifts.”35 Part of
being compulsively masculine not only involves outwardly performing the masculine identity,
but also looking masculine. Kimmel states that masculinity involves “the relentless assertion of
heterosexuality,” and sexual performance is central to performing one’s masculinity.36 His
preoccupation with his potential sexual performance and lack of a muscular physique shows is
connected with his need to prove his masculine identity not only for himself, but also with whom
he is about to have sex.
Smith’s first sexual experience causes him much distress because he breaks down
emotionally after the experience and states, “…I had committed rape against myself. If rape is
33 Daniel B Smith, Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety. (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2012),60.
34 Ibid.
35 Ibid.
36 Kimmel, 169.

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having sex with someone against that person’s will then I was quite clearly a victim. But no one
had violated my will but myself… I’d acted. I’d performed.37 Comparing his first sexual
experience with rape is extreme, especially because he made a conscious effort to engage in the
action. However, it is important to note that Smith felt forced to have sex not because the women
forced him, but because he felt forced by dominant masculine expectations. Dominant
masculinity has the social expectations of being aggressive and sexually active, so contrasting his
first sexual experience with raping himself makes sense. He felt forced by societal factors to
perform an intimate act he did not want to do in the first place. The impulse to perform his
masculine identity is evidenced when Smith states, “…I’d acted. I’d performed.”38 He does not
state what he performs, but based on his past actions he was performing his gender identity
which influenced his sexuality. This experience details how compulsive masculinity can be
incredibly stressful, and how Smith’s first sexual experience may connect his anxiety with his
masculinity.
Just like Smith, Stossel has various instances in his life where he must perform
masculinity by successfully being compulsively heterosexual and having success in his sexual
life. For example, Stossel talks about his failure to keep calm during his marriage and states, “I
have failed at the most elemental of male jobs: getting married. How have I managed to cock this
up, too?”39 Although he was experiencing high levels of anxiety in this context, he still berates
his own masculinity although he successfully fulfilled his male role by getting married. He states
that it is important to express oneself in order to successfully manage and provide relief for his
anxiety, yet he values being emotionless in order to handle a stressful situation. His description
of marriage as being one of the “most elemental of male jobs” is also problematic because it
37 Smith, 66.
38 Ibid.
39 Ibid,5.

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situates the institution of marriage as important to masculinity and restricts marriage only to
individuals that fit within the gender binary. His language is restrictive to individuals that
identify as male that do not have the right to marry in the United States. Central to dominant
norms of masculinity is the total repudiation of femininity, and this passage illuminates that
heterosexuality is central to masculinity.
Another aspect of his life Stossel mentions many times in his text is dating women, and
the constant anxiety to ensure his relationships remains intact. He makes an interesting
comparison about the anxiety he experienced while dating when he states the level of anxiety is
like, “soiling yourself on an airplane, say, or on a date.”40 Both of those situations are distinct;
however, both situations cause Stossel the same level of intense anxiety and evidence his need to
perform his masculine identity and maintain his heterosexuality. Stossel describes the first kiss
he had on a date in high school: “when the young lady leaned in for a kiss during a romantic
moment, I was overcome by anxiety and had to pull away for fear that I would vomit.”41 He
describes this date as romantic because of the setting (“we were outside, gazing at constellations
through her telescope”) and he realized he drastically failed because that this was a significant
moment to prove himself.42 Because of his social anxiety, he embarrasses himself and he feels
shame not solely, because he vomited, but because he could not control his anxiety. Another
instance where he feels worry because of dating is with one of his past girlfriends, Ann. His
girlfriend was abroad and he “…had planned and aborted (because of anxiety) several previous
trips, and only the fear that Ann would finally break up with [him] if [he] didn’t visit her,” forced
him to make a trip to see her abroad.43 Unfortunately, he cannot control his anxious state while
40 Stossel,81.
41 Ibid,7.
42 Ibid,6.
43 Ibid,80.

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traveling abroad with her, which caused him to use the restroom excessively and eventually lead
him to stay in his hotel for the rest of his trip. He again feels shame because he cannot control his
anxiety disorder and feels defeated that he cannot fulfill his role as boyfriend. Not only does he
feel disappointment, but Ann also states her disappointment and frustration by stating, “‘Maybe
you should write a dissertation about your stomach.’”44 His girlfriend shames Stossel for not
being able to control his anxiety, and compounds upon his worries about not being able to
control that aspect of himself.
Masculinity, Anxiety, and Success
Besides the theme of masculine norms influencing their sexuality, which leads to
constant anxiety, another central theme of both of these memoirs is the importance of success in
regards to masculine performance. A constant worry both Smith and Stossel have is
demonstrating their success in either controlling their anxiety or success in navigating social
situations. However, their anxiety becomes circular because they are both constantly worrying
about whether they will be able to control their own anxiety. The piece that bridges masculine
performance and anxiety about success together is the need for control. Masculine norms require
the need for dominance and the demonstration of success in order to cement one’s masculinity.
Since the 1950s, there has been an internal preoccupation and anxiety among men to cement
their success financially in the wake of changing gender norms.45 Outside of financial success,
“masculinity is measured more by wealth, power, and status than by any particular body part.”46
Both authors do not make a clear connection about masculine norms causing their anxiety, but
they indirectly mention how compulsive masculinity dictates how they act, for themselves and
44 Ibid,81.
45 Barbara Ehrenreich, Fear of Falling: The Inner Life of the Middle Class. (New York: Harper Perennial,1990), 33-34.
46 Kimmel, 46.

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for other people. That compulsive masculinity leads to striving for success, for the sake of their
masculine identity and severe disappointment and anxiety when they fail to do so.
Smith attributes having his anxiety disorder reappearing whenever he feels failure is
looming, and throughout the memoir, he attempts to appear successful and shroud his anxious
feelings. During his college experience, his anxiety became so distracting that his parents visit to
speak to him and Smith begins to break down during their conversation, yet continues to hide his
emotions. Smith states while breaking down: “Not in front of my father, whom I wanted to see in
me at least the semblance of masculine fortitude… Not now that I had reached the age of legal
maturity and therefore, I felt (being far stupider than I realized) of mental self-suffiency… And I
clenched- a Herculean, full-body-and-mind-clenching.”47 Although in this scene, Smith is
attempting to stop from breaking out into a panic attack, his desire to present himself with “the
semblance of masculine fortitude” shows how he wants to perform masculinity to appear strong
in front of his parents.48 Within this scene, Smith is attributing feelings of anxiety with failure
and femininity, and he attributes masculinity with the suppression of feelings and success.
Although his parents came to see him because he was experiencing intense anxious feelings at
college, Smith still has the desire to act masculine, which shows how Smith values his masculine
identity and the characteristics attributed to hegemonic masculinity.
Just like Smith, Stossel also states that he experiences intense anxiety when he feels he
cannot control his anxiety, and how that loss of control prevents him from succeeding in work,
which compounds his feelings of failure. An instance in his life he focuses on is the failure and
worry he felt as an upcoming writer when he was working on his first book while living with the
47 Smith, 114.
48 Ibid.

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Kennedys. Stossel describes how he viewed himself while mingling with the elite crowd at this
location:
“…while just off to the side, a sweaty young writer stands awkwardly gulping gin and
tonics and thinking about how far he is from fitting in with this illustrious crowd and how
not only is he not rich or famous or accomplished or particularly good-looking but he
cannot even control his own bowels and therefore is better suited for the company of
animals or infants”49
Stossel does not feel that he belongs in the crowd because he has a difficult time being confident,
he must self-medicate with alcohol in order to cope with his anxiety, he does not seem
successful, and he cannot control his anxiousness, which causes him to go to the restroom
constantly. Within the principles of hegemonic masculinity that Kimmel outlines, Stossel
internally fails to be compulsively masculine since he does not have control over his body and
because he feels unsuccessful. Part of not feeling confident and unaccomplished directly
connects to his anxiety disorders, and leads to Stossel thinking he “is better suited for the
company of …infants.” By stating that he belongs in the company of infants, Stossel infantilizes
himself because he fails to be compulsively masculine. This feeling of not living up to his own
expectations and worrying about his work performance continues through other aspects of his
life.
Outside of the working world, Stossel’s anxiety also pervades into his personal life and
hobbies. Recreationally, he enjoys playing squash and tennis, and attempts to compete in club
tournaments because of his love of the sports. However, in one tournament he felt failure
because he states, “I had the championship in my clutches, and I let it slip away because I was
too anxious to compete. I choked.”50 Stossel defines the act of choking: “To choke, in an athletic
or any other kind of performance context, implies an absence of fortitude, a weakness of
49 Stossel,84.
50 Ibid,126-127.

23. Jolón23
character.”51 Here is another instance where he feels failure in a site where he has the athletic
ability to perform at a high level, but cannot because performance anxiety cripples him while
playing in front of other people. He describes this crippling anxiety as an un-masculine
performance since he describes the act of choking as an “absence of fortitude” and as “a
weakness of character.” Stossel does not solely experience shame because he cannot finish his
game, but because his anxiety causes him to lose focus, which in turn, muddles his performance
of masculinity. In another tournament where he reaches the finals, he chokes yet again and states,
“I have not just lost. I have given up. Folded like a cheap lawn chair. I feel mortified and
pathetic.”52 Like Kimmel notes, part of hegemonic masculinity involves being strong physically
and succeeding at his tasks.53 Again, he expresses shame at his performance anxiety and
describes himself as pathetic and weak. He feels so defeated in this instance that he compares
himself to an inexpensive, inanimate object; as an individual that does not have worth because he
cannot perform his athleticism, his masculine identity.
Stossel also analyzes how performance anxiety can negatively affect men in professional
sports. One example that stood out was describing how Roberto Duran, “The reigning world
welterweight boxing champion” in 1980, could not finish his championship match against Sugar
Ray Leonard because of the anxiety he felt during the match54. Stossel states, “[until] that
moment, Duran was perceived to be invincible, the epitome of Latino machismo. Since then he
has lived in infamy— considered one of the greatest quitters and cowards in sports history.”55
The example of Duran creates a dichotomy in which society equates unfaltering, high quality
athletic performance with manliness, or “Latino machismo,” and having anxiety is the opposite
51 Ibid,127.
52 Ibid,129.
53 Kimmel 45-46.
54 Stossel,129.
55 Ibid,130.

24. Jolón24
of manliness; anxiety is a feminine quality. Despite Duran’s achievements within the boxing
realm, Americans will remember him as a failure despite suffering from an anxiety disorder.
Stossel provides examples of men who do not suffer from performance anxiety like “the Tom
Bradys and Peyton Mannings of the world, who exude grace under pressure.”56 He equates two
infamous NFL quarterbacks that ESPN and other media outlets depict as true and strong
Americans, as normal since they can use “parts of their brain relevant to efficient performance,”
which individuals with anxiety disorders cannot do because of the “abnormality” of their
anxiety.57 Both Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are extraordinary male athletes with their own
achievements, but Stossel’s language places these athletes on a pedestal because of their lack of
an anxiety disorder.
Despite the dichotomy of anxiety seen as a feminine characteristic and the absence of
anxiety as masculine with the examples of Roberto Duran and Tom Brady, Stossel then provides
an example of another male athlete who despite having severe performance anxiety, is still
viewed as an extraordinary athlete. Bill Russell of the Boston Celtics “won eleven
championships with the Boston Celtics (the most by anyone in any major American sport ever)”
and sports analysts consider him as one of the strongest defensive players in NBA history.58
However, Russell is “a man who vomited from anxiety before the majority of the games he
played in” yet for him, “a nervous stomach correlated with effective, even enhanced,
performance.”59 The Celtics did not view Russell as a failure because of his anxiety, but was in
fact encouraged to experience anxiety before every game. Although it seems that American
culture would equate anxiety with weakness, along with being feminine, Russell’s anxiety is
56 Ibid,132.
57 Ibid.
58 Ibid,143.
59 Ibid,144.

25. Jolón25
seen as an essential part of his being and contributes to his own manhood. Although Peyton
Manning does not experience performance anxiety while out on the field, society views both
Manning and Russell as highly successful male athletes despite their differences. Stossel’s
inclusion of Bill Russell in his section of performance anxiety is intentional, because he wants to
fight the stigma behind having anxiety. Although unintentional, the inclusion of Russell also
expands what can be included into dominant masculinity, because he demonstrates an
unmasculine character stigma of having a mental disorder, yet the crowd and his team accepted
his performance anxiety and encouraged this anxiety.60
Passing as Sane/Masculine
Continuously in Stossel’s and Smith’s texts, they describe the need to hide their anxiety
in order to avoid the stigma of having an anxiety disorder, as well as to prove to the world that
they are indeed men by stifling their suffering. In the beginning chapter of Stossel’s text, he
recognizes the stigma associated with having anxiety and recognizes the social norm that, “‘if
you are a man you will not permit your self-respect to admit an anxiety neurosis or to show
fear.’”61 Although Stossel does not continue to connect his masculine identity directly with his
anxiety disorders, he does state that part of being a man involves hiding weakness, and he
correlates that weakness with anxiety. He has qualms with revealing his anxiety because he
endangers his own identities as mentally healthy and masculine. Stossel had problems with
writing his memoir because he “subsisted professionally on [his] ability to project calmness and
control.”62 Berger notes that “socialization practices in our society reward men for being stoic,
emotionally restrictive, and denying physical or mental vunerability.”63 Both Stossel and Smith
60 Goffman, 4,
61 Stossel,25.
62 Ibid,24.
63 Berger, et al,433.

26. Jolón26
try to keep their anxiety, their internal weakness, muffled and in control so that they do not feel
judgment from society about that part of their identity and to continue following dominant norms
of masculinity.
Smith also expresses his admiration for anxiety sufferers who are able to internalize their
suffering and pass as “normal” in society. Smith states there are two types of anxiety sufferers
and the one he aspires to be is a stifler. He describes stiflers as, “those who work on the principle
that if they hold as still, silent, and clenched as possible they will be able to cut the anxiety off
from its energy sources.”64 Just like Stossel, Smith believes that having control over oneself
involves hiding the anxious part of his being so that others are not aware of that part of himself.
However, Smith’s attempts to hide his anxiety throughout his memoir have shown that hiding his
worry in fact intensifies his worries, which in turn increases his propensity to break out into a
panic attack. Yet, Smith “…wanted very much to be a stifler. Partly this was because of pride.
To go crying to your mother right after you’ve had sex for the first time is sufficiently
humiliating.”65 In his explanation about wanting to be a stifler, Smith makes a connection
between compulsive masculinity and hiding anxiety. He describes that by “crying to your mother
right after you’ve had sex for the first time,” or by failing to ascribe to norms of dominant
masculinity, men should interpret this as a moment of shame. It is a moment of shame because
masculine norms dictate a man should not experience anxiety in the first place, and should not
express other emotions that may indicate weakness.
The importance of abiding to dominant masculine norms also appears in Smith’s text
when he begins to idolize hegemonic masculinity. An image within the text expresses the type of
individual Smith aspires to become which correlates with conceptions of hypermasculinity,
64 Smith, 93.
65 Ibid,93.

27. Jolón27
hypermasculinity meaning the ultimate exaggerated norms of masculinity such as being
powerful, aggressive, and sexual. The image depicts a tall, muscular man wearing royal armor
while fending off five aggressive lions that attempt to attack the man.66 The man is also
defending himself from the lions with his bare hands and he stares at the viewer of the painting
with an expressionless face. Smith uses this metaphor to explain how he would like to deal with
his anxiety, but this image also represents how he would like to perform masculinity. Smith
wishes to be as close to the hegemonic masculine ideal as possible because of his admiration of a
painting that idealizes strength, fearlessness, and being emotionless. However, Smith’s
admiration of this masculine identity contradicts his discovery about how to cope with his
anxiety in which he states, “[the] more attention I paid to the mechanics of my anxiety the more I
began to notice an aspect of my mind I’d never noticed before— a sort of subconscious chatter,
just beneath the surface of awareness.67 Effectively coping with his anxiety involved him
accepting his anxious state as well as exploring those worries and feelings he has because of his
anxiety disorder. Stating that expressing his feelings is an effective medium to handle anxiety
correlates with the feminization of mental health, yet he still identifies as masculine. Wholly
allowing himself to experience his feelings of anxiety along with any other feelings that may
arise because of his condition (e.g. fear, worry, sadness, etc.) contradicts with his want to control
his anxiety, and desire to be fully masculine by controlling his anxiety. Both Stossel and Smith
describe the importance of “passing as sane” and of performing masculinity, and unfortunately
that fixation seems to be a large contributor to their constant, building worries.
Despite Stossel’s want to maintain the illusion that he does not have any anxiety
disorders, he also recognizes the debilitating effects of hiding his mental disorder and the need to
66 Ibid,120.
67 Ibid.

28. Jolón28
find other ways to explore that aspect of his being. One of the first ways he begins to unravel and
uncover the roots of his anxiousness is through his visits with Dr. W and by listening to Dr. W’s
methods of understanding his anxiety. Dr W. views anxiety as “a ‘protective screen’ against the
searing pain associated with confronting loss or mortality or threats to one’s self-esteem” which
he also defines as “self-wounds.”68 Dr. W.’s description of anxiousness as a “protective screen”
correlates that part of themselves. Stossel spends his sessions trying to unpack why he feels
anxious by embracing his anxiety and trying to pull back the “protective screen”, he tries so hard
to keep intact. Because of doing so, every session he ends up crying because of the pain he feels
in engaging in this activity. Despite his discomfort with feeling that way, Dr. W. views Stossel’s
reactions as progress. Stossel states, “Yes, I know, everything about this scene makes me cringe,
too. But at the time, as I sobbed there on the couch, Dr. W.’s statement felt like a wonderfully
supportive and authentic gesture.”69 This scene makes Stossel cringe because it falls outside of
the “normative” behavior he feels like he should follow: being emotionless and stoic. However,
he understands how this process can help him cope with his worries, and this passage is
transformative in regards to how men should cope with their anxiety. This passage demonstrates
how Stossel breaks out of hegemonic masculine norms, and challenges Berger’s notion that men
should follow gender norms about being stoic. There are benefits to going outside of hegemonic
masculine norms for the sake of one’s health.
Anxiety Medication and its Ties to Masculine Identity
Stossel’s memoir speaks about the use of drugs to treat anxiety, and talks about the
stigma that lies behind not only having anxiety but also behind using drugs. Stossel states, “[we]
pop tranquilizers and antidepressants by the billions- yet at the same time we have historically
68 Stossel,59.
69 Ibid,60.

29. Jolón29
judged reliance on psychiatric medication to be a sign of weakness or moral failure.”70 Stossel
identifies a social norm that is problematic, especially because of the perceived helpfulness
tranquilizers had during the 1950s. For example when the first drug to treat anxiety, Miltown (a
tranquilizer), was released in the market, the drug was “more important, more genuinely
revolutionary, than the recent discoveries [in the 1950s] in the field of nuclear physics.”71
Americans first viewed drugs to treat anxiety as a medium to bring happiness into one’s life, but
then the connotation of moral weakness was attributed to them as drugs continued to be
developed after the 1950s. Stossel realizes that he “may have a “medical condition” that causes
[his] symptoms and somehow “justifies” the use of these medications.”72 Because of the real
physical and mental effects of anxiety, there should not be any judgment of individuals that
utilize drugs to treat anxiety, nor judgment because an individual is afflicted with anxiety.
However while describing his own anxiety, he “believes [his] weak nerves make [him] a coward
and a wimp, with all the negative judgment those words imply… and which is why [he worries]
that resorting to drugs to mitigate these problems both proves and intensifies his moral
weakness.”73 The words “wimp” and “weakness” do not correlate with norms of manhood, and
builds upon Stossel’s thoughts that he is not solidifying his own masculinity and deserves
judgment because of that. Stossel’s inclusion of the shame he feels from using drugs and having
anxiety contributes to his goal of destigmatizing anxiety, and it is a medium in which he can
present his frustrations with the restrictive norms American culture sets around the topic of
mental health. Also indirectly, Stossel depicts how negative norms around anxiety coupled along
70 Ibid,120.
71 Ibid,163.
72 Ibid,216.
73 Ibid.

30. Jolón30
with the worry of having to be compulsively masculine, is hurtful towards individuals suffering
from the mental disorder.
Stossel’s text differs from Smith’s memoir since he writes multiple pages detailing the
different methods of analysis psychologists use in order to diagnose and treat anxiety, and traces
the development of psychiatric practices in different fields like, neuroscience, psychoanalysis,
and philosophy in order to see how these fields interact with each other. One of the essential
points that Stossel makes is that anxiety is difficult to define, and there are often contradictory
statements within the psychiatric field about anxiety. Stossel notes that anxiety “can impede your
relationships, impair your performance, constrict your life, and limit your possibilities” because
of the debilitating mental and physical symptoms, different types of anxiety impose upon
individuals.74 The consequences that happen because of anxiety can greatly affect an individual’s
life, and therefore there should be further conversation about the negative effects of anxiety.
However, some scholars disagree with this researched perspective and believe “that anxiety
disorders do not exist in nature but rather were invented by the pharmaceutical-industrial
complex in order to extract money from patients and insurance companies.”75 Scholars that
provide and argue this perspective are essentially taking away from the lived experiences of
individuals that are suffering from anxiety. Although Stossel does document the rise of diagnoses
of anxiety with the release of a new drug, Stossel recognizes that anxiety is a real illness and he
must provide his own experience to combat those opinions saying that anxiety is invented.
Stossel details multiple methods he tries to use to cope with his anxiety, but what seems
to be the most effective way to hide his constant dread is by taking toxic anxiety cocktails. For
example, in preparation to give a speech, he usually has to take 1 mg of Xanax, a
74 Ibid,40.
75 Ibid.

31. Jolón31
benzodiazepine, 20 mgs of Inderal, a beta-blocker, and between two to five shots of vodka.76
Besides the cocktail he makes for himself, he also keeps more Xanax in his pockets, plus one to
two extra 50 mL bottles of vodka, and he may take another shot of vodka right before he appears
on stage.77 This seems excessive and a physician would not recommend consuming all those
substances before dealing with the public; however, it is not out of the norm for men dealing
with anxiety to consume an excessive amount of drugs and alcohol.78 Kimmel’s summary of
dominant masculine norms also correlates with Stossel’s method of coping with his anxiety; it is
the social norm for men to engage in risky behavior, like drinking excessively, and to shroud
their emotions, which Stossel is attempting to do. Stossel self-medicates in order to continue
acting out his masculinity because he feels like he is failing at performing masculinity. Stossel
does recognize the consequences of doing this and he states, “I know. My method of dealing
with my public speaking anxiety is not healthy. It’s evidence of alcoholism; it’s dangerous. But it
works.”79 Stossel’s openness to describe one of his effective coping techniques and the dangers
of doing so present the need to uncover other ways for men to cope with anxiety.
Smith’s experience with medication to cope with anxiety differs from Stossel’s
experience, but his controlled experience with Xanax and the shame he feels for having this drug
highlights the importance of having men’s narratives speaking about their experiences with
anxiety. During college, Smith secretly kept Xanax bars with him for stressful situations but his
roommate found a Xanax bar on their dorm floor and questioned him about the pill. Smith
refused to say that it was his, asked to see the pill, and when“[his roommate] handed it over, [he]
76 Ibid,97.
77 Ibid.
78 Tim Lomas, “I was so done in,” 200.
79 Stossel,97.

32. Jolón32
made a good show of scrutinizing the pill for signs of ownership.”80 When his roommate asked
him what the pill was, Smith states, “It’s a… vitamin. It’s one of my vitamins.”81 Smith views
having or taking anxiety medication as a sign of weakness since it signals that he has an anxiety
disorder. Instead of stating that it was anxiety medication, he decides to lie and hide that he
needed it to go through his day. Stossel’s use of substances for his anxiety is problematic
because the excessive amount of alcohol and medication can lead to dangerous side effects and
health problems in the future. Smith’s hiding of his Xanax is problematic because social norms
are preventing him from taking prescribed medication that can help him. Both of these
problematic instances are occurring because Smith and Stossel want to hide their anxiety and are
trying to hide their weaknesses. Berger states that men express negative attitudes toward help
seeking because of masculine norms, and the cultural pressure of helping oneself leads to these
dangerous behaviors.82 Their way of approaching substances for anxiety are their different ways
of performing masculinity, but both methods can have devastating effects for their own mental
health.
Conclusion
In this paper, I analyzed both Stossel’s and Smith’s memoirs in order to understand how
their male gender identity influenced how they wrote about their experience living with anxiety.
I argued that by revealing that they suffered from anxiety, not only were both authors making the
assertion that the public should understand how anxiety functions and were challenging the
stigma surrounding anxiety, but they were also challenging dominant norms of masculinity
because of the feminized history of anxiety. Despite the revolutionary steps both of their
memoirs were making, I also argue that their memoirs are problematic because they still
80 Smith, 98.
81 Ibid.
82 Berger, 433.

33. Jolón33
reinforce hegemonic masculinity by equating mental illness and having anxiety as feminine, and
position having dominance over this aspect of themselves as masculine. In order to prove this
argument, this paper explored how the authors linked their sexual experiences with their anxiety,
and how those sexual experiences tied to their masculinity. Then I explored how the authors’
dread over being successful also contributed to their anxiety, and how constant success ties to the
tenets of hegemonic masculinity. Then I analyzed the various instances in which the authors
attempted to pass as healthy, free of any anxiety disorders, and by doing so, that allowed them to
continue performing their masculinity. Finally, I compared how both authors viewed anxiety
medication, whether they attributed stigma towards taking medication, and how their use of
medication was problematic and influenced by their masculine identity. Although the authors
never directly tie their gender identity to their anxiety, their language reveals that gender norms
also lead to the stigmatization of anxiety disorders.
Despite Stossel and Smith speaking about their experiences with anxiety as men,
discussions about mental illness and masculinity in the United States is not new. In this cultural
moment, there have been multiple discussions about masculinity and mental illness in the wake
of violent crimes. One topic of discussion in the mass media has been school shootings, like the
tragedies at Virginia Tech and Columbine, and how masculine performativity may have led to
these tragedies. Jackson Katz notes that “mainstream media discourse about school shootings is
typically degendered, with reporters and commentators referring to “perpetrators,” “shooters,”
“individuals,” “kids killing kids,” etc., when nearly all of the killings are done by men and
boys.”83 Scholars are looking more into how mental illness and compulsive masculinity may lead
to violent crimes committed by men, and are trying to challenge the media’s mindset about how
83 Jackson Katz and Douglas Kellner.“A conversation between Jackson Katz and Douglas Kellner on Guns,
Masculinities,and School Shootings. Fast Capitalism 4, no.1 (2008).

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to view these contexts. Douglas Kellner states, “The term “mental illness” is a social construct
and tells us that someone has a serious problem and that we need to have better institutions and
people to help us deal with this problem.”84 Here Kellner is stating how social norms have
culturally defined mental illness and is also a gendered term, therefore this issue needs to be
explored with a gendered lens and more adequate resources have to be provided for individuals
suffering from mental illness.
Besides violent crimes and shootings providing a space to discuss masculinity, violence,
and mental health, popular films have also shed light on the connection between masculine
identity and mental health. Modern popular military movies like Saving Private Ryan, Black
Hawk Down, Three Kings, and Jarhead have shown the confusion, frustration, and isolation that
occur in war contexts, as well as the anxieties soldiers experience on the battlefield.85 These
films are careful “to construct the heroism, courage, and moral integrity of the soldier” despite
the flurry of stresses which could endanger the soldier’s masculine identity.86 There are also
popular films that directly focus on male characters dealing with mental illness.87 Otto F. Wahl
mentions that there is “a media bias toward presentation of severe, psychotic disorders.”88 Many
films depict male characters with mental illness as prone to committing extremely violent crimes
like assault and homicide in films like Taxi Driver, Hannibal Lecter, and Silver Linings
Playbook. There is also a fascination with depicting men with mental illness in places of the
imaginary, in supernatural or fantastical settings, in movies such as Fight Club, Donnie Darko,
American Psycho, and The Shining. The representation of men in these films dictate that men
84 Ibid.
85 Richard Godfrey, “Military,masculinity,and the mediated representations:(con)fusingthe real and the reel,”
Culture & Organization 15,no.2 (2009):211-213.
86 Ibid,214.
87 Otto F Wahl,“Mass Media Images of Mental Illness:A Review of the Literature.” Journal of Community
Psychology 20, no.4 (1992): 344.
88 Ibid,345.

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with anxieties cannot exist, it is unimaginable, or only extremely unstable and violent men can
suffer from mental illnesses on the other side of the mental health spectrum. Finally, there are
films where men represented deal with “everyday” problems and have to deal with the anxieties
associated with those situations, but they must do so at the expense of their own masculinity.
Comedies centered on male roles or, “dude flicks,” “feature desperate, anxious white men are
nearly always comedies, and construct their humor from the inadequacies of white male
masculinity.”89 Instead of feeling sympathy from these characters, the audience laughs at their
failure and leads to another instance in which a conversation about mental health dissipates.
Instead, the conversation turns to stigmatizing weakness, anxieties, and regulating dominant
masculine characteristics. All these films contribute to the culture of silence behind discussing
mental illness and masculinity, and stigmatize men with anxiety or minimize their experience.
Popular films surrounding masculinity and mental health portray a negative light on men
who suffer from a mental disorder, and popular texts like Men’s Health do the same. Juanne N.
Clarke notes after studying various issues of Men’s Health that “men are not to have feelings,
particularly negative feelings” and “they are not to seek insight into of help for emotional pain
through psychotherapy.90” Various pieces within this magazine seek to cement dominant
masculine norms and further stigmatize men who may be suffering from mental health because
those men do not fit within those norms. There are sections where men ask questions, which
“reflect men’s anxiety over physiological and emotional wellness.”91 Yet many other articles that
pressure men to perform masculinity to the highest degree overshadow this section. This text
89 Peter Alilunas,“MaleMasculinity as theCelebration of Failure: The Frat Pack,Women, and the Trauma of
Victimization in the “Dude Flick,”Mediascape, (2008).
90 Juanne Clarke, “The Portrayal of Depression in Magazines Designed for Men (2000-2007),” International Journal
Of Men’s Health 8, no.3 (2009): 208.
91 Susan M Alexander, “Stylish Hard Bodies: Branded Masculinity in Men’s Health Magazine,” Sociological
Perspectives 46, no.4 (2003): 548.

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shows that men care about their own health, and want to speak about their anxieties yet lack a
space to do so.
National narratives about mental health, masculinity, and violence, popular films about
mental health and masculinity, and popular men’s texts with their lack of discussion surrounding
mental health present a suffocating landscape for men who may want to speak about their
struggles with anxiety disorders. The historical feminization of anxiety, hegemonic masculine
norms, and the popular media’s stigmatization of men with mental disorders lead to a culture
where men would rather perform compulsory masculinity, and speak about other men’s
deficiencies instead of speaking about their own issues.92 These narrow representations of men
are damaging to those who are suffering from anxiety, and continue to approve and cement the
patriarchal oppression of all individuals. Psychologists note that in our current society, men want
to speak about their stress and the “pressure men feel to live up to the macho image is literally
making them sick.”93 That is why memoirs like Smith and Stossel’s are important for men
looking for a starting place to talk about their experiences with anxiety. The authors’
introspective, honest, and raw approach revealing the part of their identity, which deals with
anxiety, is brave and could jeopardize their own masculine identity. Nevertheless, they do so in
the hopes that they no longer have to hide that aspect of themselves, and so that other people can
identify with their struggles and not feel isolated. Smith and Stossel are not perfect, and their
memoirs will not directly connect with men of color, men who identify as gay, queer, or asexual,
men who are not upper to upper-middle class, and men who are transgendered or gender non-
conforming. However, their voices are a start, and I hope that other voices can arise (perhaps my
92 ClaireSloan,Brendan Gough, and Mark Conner, “Healthy masculinities? Howostensibly healthy men talk about
lifestyle,health and gender,” Psychology & Health 25, no.7 (2010): 798.
93 Kogan, “Men’s mental health needs.”

37. Jolón37
own voice) to continue combatting the stigma behind mental illness, restrictive gender norms,
and to provide other voices other men can identify with.

38. Jolón38
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