This document outlines an emergency zombie plan. It summarizes that the zombie apocalypse will last 14 days and the zombies will be slow but numerous and intelligent. It identifies viable locations like the West Quay Retail Park that has stores needed for survival and Leisure World that may distract the zombies. The plan is to make fireworks from baby bottle rocket fuel, cosmetics, and staples to distract the zombies and then use distractions like casinos and strip clubs to make their way to McDonald's for shelter and food.
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GROUP 61 Z-DAY INSTRUCTIONS
1. Group 61
EMERGENCY ZOMBIE PLAN
Open only on Z-Day
Thursday, 29 September 11
2. Zombie: Land of the Dead
Length of Apocalypse:
14 days
Speed: Slow
Quantity: Medium
Intelligence: High
Weakness: Fireworks
Thursday, 29 September 11
3. Useless Locations
Avenue Campus:
Shackleton Building: Too many undergraduate
zombies. Lover’s Walk:
A geography building, useless
More like dead walk...
even before the apocalypse.
Southampton If we tried to defend it we’d
die worse than a bad
Guildhall: comedian on it’s stage.
Thursday, 29 September 11
4. Viable Locations
West Quay Retail Park:
Staples, mothercare and boots.
What more do you need in the
apocalypse?
Leisure World:
If the zombies are clever enough to
realise they can’t be harmed, they
may be clever enough to be
distracted by entertainment...
Thursday, 29 September 11
5. THE PLAN
With access to Mothercare, Boots and
Staples we’re sure our ECS worthy
brains can improvise some form of
baby bottle rocket fuelled by
cosmetics and held together with
staples.
If we just stood around it’d
end up like this...
Thursday, 29 September 11
6. MORE OF THE PLAN
If the zombies are distracted by fireworks,
they may be distracted by shiny things. So
hopefully the Casino, Cinema, Oceana or
the strip club might keep them distracted
while we make our way to McDonalds.
Plus it’s worth saving because when the
apocalypse has ended we’ll need some
entertainment.
Thursday, 29 September 11
7. EVEN MORE OF THE
PLAN
Let’s go
to Mc Donalds
Then with an improvised and wait for all
convoy of Trolley-Mobiles take this to blow over.
from the Tesco we can get
across the road to McDonalds.
With access to a deep fat fryer
and copious amounts of fries,
we can keep ourselves fed for
awhile.
Thursday, 29 September 11