1. Jonathan M. Tennison
Professor Deris
CHFD 340
9 Jul 2015
Fathers Role in Life
My father’s role in my life was significant and in line with the changing of the times of
the 1980’s. He was useful and practical while expanding into emotional realm when required
(Welch, 2012, p. 56). My father now is available and enjoys interaction with the grandchildren
when he gets the chance. Growing up as a child my sister Dawn and I were three years apart and
she was elder. My dad was traditional because he made her do inside chores and I was stuck
doing outside chores. He really put us to work around the house and was strict most of the time.
An example is that he would go to work during our summer time with an expectation that we
would wake up early and accomplish his required tasks. A few chores included, but not limited
to, removing pine cones from an acre of land or sweeping all of the pine needles off of the deck.
Once that was complete I could play my Nintendo Entertainment System or go ride bikes with
my friends. His expectation was to get it done and there were no excuses or alibis for this work.
One time he cut down a tree with the expectation that I would carve it up and split each tree
utilizing some wood wedges. I tried and tried but the wood was so wet that I could not get the
wedges to split each log. Three wedges were pounded flush with the log and I had no more
options. This was at the age of about 13 and I remember fearing his response upon arrival and I
was there to explain what happened. He was mad at first but saw how much effort was put into
the day and acknowledged that the task was impossible. He did not often explain things and
utilized the authoritarian style of parenting (Welch, 2012).

2. I remember getting a C in class during 6th grade and crying on the way home the day the
report card was due because of the verbal lashing I was going to receive and the dreaded
“grounding for life” that was awaiting. He never hit me but made it clear that he could end me at
any moment of time for not being on the straight and narrow. He would tell me to go find
something and would lose his mind if I was short of expectations or late according to his
standard. This strict upbringing allowed me to excel at my job and shine above the expectations
of others because of the ability to conform to standards, complete tasks without much detail or
supervision. People believe these are leadership traits but they actually show pristine
followership which is a hidden gem in a good leadership style.
My father and mother divorced when I was 16 and I moved around for a couple of years.
My choice was to live with my father versus my mother at the age of 17 even though I was
considered a mama’s boy when I was young. The truth is that my father opened up emotionally
to me and discussed issues about the world. He was not religious and we had religious
conversations while on the way hunting or fishing and hints of humility in his life showed up.
He gave into reason and allowed for other thought processes about belief systems and other
philosophy. He taught me about my relatives, where we came from and our interesting recent
history stemming back to the Great Dust Bowl. My mother was great but I never identified with
her in this way. I grew up and she has never had emotional communication without putting up
some sort of barrier in place. Father was able to renegotiate his parental role in the teen years
and this was effective (Welch, 2012, pp. 491).
There were absolutely benefits on how my father raised me even though it seemed very
hard lined and structured. This style of parenting made me very efficient and able to work under
stress. My job requires a great deal of confidence under pressure. I have worked through plane

3. crashes that seem to stop time and this requires thinking at the simplistic level and a confidence
of perseverance when things get difficult really quick. Communication and initial response to
mishaps cannot wait while someone asks for the why and how. My basketball coach in high
school stated that I had “cool-confidence”. This state of working under critical pressure and
performing at the highest level is my father’s greatest contribution to me. Another benefit of his
influence is that I will never give up or understand the concept and I believe there is nothing I
cannot achieve. I might not be the quickest or best at something but always know that I will
achieve a goal or task that is presented. This derives from getting scolded when I brought him
the wrong tool or did not clearly listen to his directions. Eventually, I got the task accomplished
and learned how not to make the same mistake moving forward. According to a study on
emotional development and well-being, young adults have shown great attributes like social
adjustment, being practical, have high self-acceptance with and ultimately will be likely to
succeed in their work (Allen and Daly, 2002). Fathers, even if they do not appear on the surface
to be helpful can benefit children immensely.
One way this role has been problematic is people perceive that I do not provide
appropriate oversite or communication. I often have a laissez-faire leadership style and
subordinates require more detail. They often expect me to tell them how to do stuff and why to
do it when their supposed skill level is supposed to drive a hands off approach. Frustration sets
in because my expectation is for them to surprise me with results instead of expecting me to do it
for them. Another problematic situation is overcoming perceived negative traits that I have
obtained to assist my children’s behavior. I do not have the same expectations that my father
had. He only gave one angle on how life is based on his experiences and I have had more
education and dive into multiple realms of how to parent effectively. The problem is that I have

4. a tendency to regurgitate the same erroneous reasoning based on my overwhelming influence by
his style.
One thing that a new father can do is to simply be involved in their children’s lives and
continually talk to them. The talking should be conducted while performing an activity with
them. Children ask questions and providing those answers from a father’s point of view is
critical. Children with involved fathers are known to have higher IQ’s versus not having him
around (Allen and Daly, 2002). My relationship with my father was interesting because I had a
chance to learn and understand what was good and bad from the information received throughout
our many activities. My choices are based off of his wisdom. Even if I disagree with his
reasoning, at least there was a foundation to pull information on multiple topics. I listen to my
wife teaching my children things and I talk to them separately and provide different points of
view. I also have plans on addressing important life issues like relationships, work, family and
religion. Children are too important for a dad to not be involved if feasible.

5. Works Cited
Allen, S., & Daly, K. (2002). The Effects on Fatherly Involvement: A Summary of the Research
Evidence. Newsletter on the Father Involvement Initiative -, 1, 1-11. Retrieved July 10, 2015.
Welch, K. J. (2012). Family life Now: 2010 Census Update. (2nd Ed.). Boston, MA. Pearson
Education, Inc