A comprehensive but brief guide to effective business writing style.

1. Reed’s Guide to
Business Writing Style
That’s Keeps your Reader’s Attention
MARCH 2, 2015
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2. “
”
A yawn may not be
polite, but at least
it is an honest opinion
~ Anonymous
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3. Contents
Goals 3
Plain English 5
Grammar vs. Writing Style 8
Style 9
1.0 Clarity 10
1.1 Concrete, specific language 10
1.2 Avoid qualifiers 11
1.3 Passive voice 12
2.0 Concision 16
2.1 Weak verbs 16
2.2 Camouflaged verbs 18
2.3 Slow wind up 20
2.4 False starts, false subjects 21
2.5 Compound prepositions 22
2.6 Redundancies 23
3.0 Style Tips 24
3.1 Word choices 24
3.2 State in the Affirmative 25
3.3 Sentence length 26
3.4 Paragraph length 27
3.5 Topic sentences 28
3.6 Transitions 29
3.7 Advice from Elements of Style 31
4.0 Layout Tips 32
4.1 Titles and subheads 32
4.2 General rules for design 33
5.0 Practicing These Tips 35
Credits 36
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4. Goals
If I convey only one idea to you with this lecture, it should be this:
For pity’s sake, don’t be boring.
Business readers are human. They are susceptible to distractions—
they want to be stimulated, and they are always short on time. So,
your writing style goals are simple:
Get to the point, make it concise,
make it interesting.
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5. How do you do that?
 By removing unnecessary words
 By using plain English
 By writing clearly
 By organizing your writing
 By making it visually interesting, and
 By stimulating the reader’s mind.
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6. Plain English
We can almost sum up the goal of quality business
writing with the term: plain English. That does not
mean the writing is unsophisticated or lacks precise
terminology. In fact, plain English sounds quite
educated because it focuses the reader on the
content, rather than distracting with the style. Did you
know that the best business schools today teach their
students to write “plain English!?”
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7. Plain English
In The Plain English Approach to Business Writing,
Edward P. Bailey Jr., and Larry Bailey (who studied
through Harvard), say they taught writing in college
for years and then discovered plain English—which
changed everything. They say plain English has two
advantages:
 It’s easier to write.
 It’s easier to read.
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8. Plain English
The Baileys say plain English includes three characteristics,
quote:
 Style. By style I [the Baileys] mean, how to write clear,
readable sentences.
 Organization. I suggest starting with your main point almost
all the time.
 Layout: Headings, bullets, and other techniques of using
white space help your reader see—visually—the underlying
structure of your writing.
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9. Grammar vs. Writing Style?
Grammar implies specific rules that govern writing;
writing style refers to the way you write, the readability
of your writing. As an example, a paragraph may be
grammatically flawless, but the organization of the
ideas so chaotic and the wording of the ideas so
vague, that the writing does not effectively
communicate. So, grammar and writing style are
where clear communication begins.
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10. Style = Clear, Readable Sentences
We need two qualities to achieve effective
writing:
 Clarity, meaning that the image in the writer’s
imagination is conveyed unerringly into the
reader’s imagination.
 Conciseness, meaning the writer has achieved
clarity with as few words as possible.
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11. 1.0 Clarity
The specificity of your language will reveal the depth and exactness of your knowledge on
any subject.
 The jelly is from out of state. (Vague)
 The jelly is trucked in from California. (Clear. This solution is more specific and uses the
same number of words)
 The sports shoe market has grown significantly over the past few years and so offers
opportunities to companies that are prepared to advertise heavily in the industry trade
press and life-style magazines. (Vague)
 By spending $1.1 million in single-page advertisements in the monthly trade publications
Shoe Supplier and Footwear Trader over the next two years, we will build our retailer base
by 10% and gain an extra $2.2 million in revenue. ~Gerry Richmond (Clear)
1.1 Concrete, Specific Language
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12. 1.0 Clarity
The strongest parts of speech are verbs and nouns! Write with them as much as
possible. Adjectives are weak and subjective. They add unnecessary words and clutter
your prose.
Qualifiers are unspecific adjectives and adverbs which are presumptive references to
people, circumstances, and objects. The reader must fill in the details or images and
they carry no concrete image or direct detail.
Base your writing on precision and exactness. Examples of qualifiers include:
1.2 Avoid qualifiers
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13. 1.0 Clarity
To recognize passives, identify the Actor, the Action, the Receiver in a sentence; then
determine what order they are in. When the actor is first, you have an active sentence:
 “Australian companies (actor) manufacture (action) millions of precision machine
tools (receiver).”
With the receiver first, you have a passive sentence. (Passive voice structures also often
have the preposition “by.”)
 “Millions of precision machine tools (receiver) are manufactured (action) by
Australian companies (actor).”
Some passives are missing the actor altogether.
 “Millions of precision machine tools (receiver) are manufactured (action).”
1.3 Passive Voice
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14. 1.0 Clarity
What’s so wrong with passive voice? Some people like passives. In fact, for science
writing, it’s a preferred style. However, business people rank it in the top ten
Don’ts.
Why?
 It has a bureaucratic tone.
 It is unclear.
 It can leave out important information.
 It can sound weak-willed, indecisive or evasive.
1.3 Passive Voice
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15. 1.0 Clarity
Examples of passive voice:
 The car is washed. (passive)
 Fred washed the car. (active)
 The meeting was supervised by the secretary. (passive)
 The secretary supervised the meeting. (active).
 Time is spent by Young’s workers reworking poorly made parts. (passive)
 Young’s workers spend time reworking poorly made parts. (active)
1.3 Passive Voice
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16. 1.0 Clarity
When is it acceptable to use active voice? In three instances:
 When you don’t know who did the action:
The candy store was robbed.
 When everyone knows who did the action:
The senator was reelected.
 When you want to de-emphasize the actor:
The policy was signed.
1.3 Passive Voice
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17. 2.0 Concision
Weak verbs can be effective in simple declarative
statements such as:
 Community service is the largest component of the
program.
However, when the action in the sentence can better be
captured with a more specific verb, the sentence should
be rewritten.
Put the following list of verbs on a note on your computer
and ban them from all sentences, except the short,
declarative variety.
2.1 Weak verbs
Memorize these
weak verbs:
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18. 2.0 Concision
Examples:
 The first step in the process is consolidation of all the customer data and organization
of it in a useful format. (Weak: 21 words)
 First, we must consolidate all the customer data and then organize it into a useful
format. (Strong: 16 words)
 The system has applicability for a variety of industrial situations. (Weak: 10 words)
 The system applies to a variety of industrial situations (Strong: 9 words)
 We made improvements in our production process. (Weak: 7 words)
 We improved our production process. (Strong: 5 words)
2.1 Weak verbs
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19. 2.0 Concision
Camouflaged verbs are unlucky
indeed. They once were verbs,
and then the writer added
suffixes to them, stifled their
power, and turned them into
nouns. They want nothing more
than to be the powerful verbs
they were intended to be.
2.2 Camouflaged verbs
Camouflaged verbs
usually end with:
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20. 2.0 Concision
Examples:
 A suspension of these programs by the dean will occur until his reevaluation of their progress is
complete. (18 words; camouflaged verbs are bolded)
 The dean will suspend these programs until he reevaluates their progress. (11 words)
 We had a discussion of the matter. (7 words)
 We discussed the matter. (4 words)
 A need exists for more efficient candidate selection. (8 words)
 We need to select candidates more efficiently. (7 words)
 The establishment of a different approach on the part of the committee has become a
necessity. (16 words)
 The committee must establish a different approach. (7 words)
2.2 Camouflaged verbs
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21. 2.0 Concision
The slow wind up usually adds unnecessary words. Omit them or rewrite to improve conciseness.
Examples:
 My contention is that the program needs to extend three more weeks. (12 words)
 I contend the program needs to extend three more weeks. (10 words)
 The reason he should reconsider his position is that the company operates in a competitive
environment. (16 words)
 He should reconsider his position because the company operates in a competitive
environment. (13 words)
 The most important point is that factors other than the economy have hurt the company. (15
words)
 Most importantly, factors other than the economy have hurt the company. (11 words)
2.3 Slow Wind Up: “is that”
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22. 2.0 Concision
A false start or a false subject is any sentence that starts with or has after an initial clause, “It
is,” “there are,” “there is.”
Examples
 There are two significant facts that influenced our recommendation. (Weak)
 Two significant factors influenced our recommendation. (Stronger, more concise)
 Quite simply, there is no one in the business world who could run GEICO better than Tony
does. (18 words)
 Quite simply, no one in the business world could run GEICO better than Tony does. (15
words)
 It is a necessity for IA to recognize customers for their patronage. (11 words)
 IA needs to recognize customers for their patronage. (8 words)
2.4 False Starts, False Subjects
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23. 2.0 Concision
A compound preposition is a verb with a
preposition. Generally the prepositions add
unnecessary words. So, condense.
Example:
 We must first perform an analysis of the
company. (9 words)
 We must analyze the company. (5
words)
 Where do these products come from?
(6 words)
 Where do these products originate? (5
words)
2.5 Compound Prepositions
Compound Prepositions Condenses to
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24. 2.0 Concision
You’ll be surprised
by how many
redundant
phrases you use
every day! Take
your time to
review the list.
2.6 Redundancies
Redundancies Condensed24

25. 3.0 Style Tips
To achieve the Plain English effect, use the simplest word with the
most precise meaning. However, some simple words can be too
vague, words like “do” and “good” or “bad,” or too casual. Here
are some revised expressions as examples:
3.1 Word Choice
Too Casual Revised
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26. 3.0 Style Tips
Professional writing also tends to phrase information positively. This doesn’t mean
that everything you say should be happy! The affirmative is a grammatical
structure.
Examples:
 Negative: He did not pause long after each question.
 Positive: He quickly responded to each question.
 Negative: They did not reject the changes.
 Positive: They accepted the changes.
 Negative: He had no problem.
 Positive: He was satisfied.
3.2 State in the Affirmative
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27. 3.0 Style Tips
By 1900, the average sentence in English was 21 words. By the 1970s it was 17 words, and
today writing averages 12 to 17 words per sentence. I call it the MTV effect, but of course
it’s more complex than the influence of television on thinking habits. This trend correlates
with reduced attention levels and increased intake of sugar. That’s a subject for a different
lecture, however. Here’s the point:
Effective writing varies the length and rhythm of sentences.
It balances longer sentences with shorter ones, but it keeps
the average sentence length below 20 words.
Follow this advice:
 Keep your average sentence length
between 12 to 20 words,
 Cut down long sentences, and
 Vary the length of your sentences.
3.3 Sentence Length
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28. 3.0 Style Tips
As you do with sentences, vary
the length of paragraphs to
keep your reader’s attention.
Most paragraphs should be
relatively short—business writers
say anywhere from 1 to 10 lines
maximum. In emails, keep
paragraphs even shorter: 5 lines
maximum.
3.4 Paragraph Length
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29. 3.0 Style Tips
A topic sentence at the start of each paragraph, like a headline, gets your
reader to the crux of your message immediately. Topic sentences contain
the key information with every other sentence supporting that main idea. If a
sentence does not develop the topic sentence, move it or cut it.
Example:
 When it comes to new products, few businesses are more perilous than
making civil aircraft. Aircraft can cost millions to develop. Boeing gambled
the company when it launched the 747, spending $2 billion on the project, 2.5
times the value of the firm. Twice as big and efficient as anything else in the
air, the jumbo has earned the Seattle company $20 billion in profit since they
first flew, 30 years ago almost to the day. (SOURCE: www.write-an-essay.com)
3.5 Topic Sentences
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30. 3.0 Style Tips
Transitions are concepts or words that link ideas (and are frequently found in
topic sentences). They pull the reader from thought to thought, providing a
feeling of continuity and keeping your reader’s attention. They can take the
form of repeated words, and often are conjunctions (linking words) such as
although, because, so, moreover, or therefore.
If you are writing anything other than an outline, think of your writing as a
“narrative.” That means it must flow continuously. You need transition
sentences between sections and before and after lists. A transition sentence
can be in its own paragraph. If you incorporate it into a paragraph that
develops a topic itself, then make sure the transition sentence does not stray
from the main idea of the paragraph.
3.6 Transitions
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31. 3.0 Style Tips
When writing transitions, get to the point. Following are example topic sentences.
 Weak: First we should consider time constraints. (What about them?)
 Preferred: We must receive a cash infusion within 30 days if we hope to save the
company. (Tells bottom line of section.)
 Weak: In developing our service, we conducted a lot of research. (What kind? What
did you learn?)
 Better: Our market research included a focus group, a poll, and a competitor analysis.
(Explaining your methodology furthers your credibility, but is not the most important
point of the section)
 Best: Using three methods of comparison, we determined that no transportation
system provides a similar service. (Tell the main idea about what you determined)
3.6 Transitions
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32. 3.0 Style Tips
E.B. White and William Strunk’s The Elements of Style was a
groundbreaking book on the subject of reader-centered writing. Beyond
strong style they advice:
 Place yourself in the background (That means, focus on the subject, not
on your experience of the subject. Use “I” only when necessary.
Especially avoid “I feel, think, believe” in business writing.)
 Revise and rewrite. Good writing is good rewriting.
 Do not overwrite or over explain. Make your point once and move on.
 Avoid injecting opinions (save your opinions for the end, after you have
already persuaded the reader with all your evidence)
3.7 Advice from Elements of Style
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33. 4.0 Layout Tips
Write interesting titles, subheads, and run-in heads that get to the point:
Don’t keep your reader in suspense! Headings should inform your reader,
with details and active verbs that give the bottom line. That means, avoid
headings like “introduction” and “conclusion.”
Tips:
 Everything that follows a heading, must develop that heading.
 When you start a new topic, write a new heading.
 Make EVERY key idea prominent. That’s because busy people skim. If
you make some key ideas prominent and not others, your readers will
think you left something out.
4.1 Titles and Subheads
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34. 4.0 Layout Tips
 Fonts. Only use two. Use popular sans serif fonts like Ariel, and popular
serif fonts like Times. Sans serif is better if your print quality is poor.
 Alignment: Align body text left. Justification on short lines can easily
result in ugly text. Aligned right text is tedious to read and should be
used rarely. Likewise, avoid centered text.
 Capitals. Avoid long strings of capitals—they are harder to read. Bold or
Italic is preferred for emphasis. Where strings of capitals have to appear
in text, use small caps if available.
 Headings. Keep them short and do not capitalize the first letter of each
word (visual hiccupping). Capitalize the first letter only.
4.2 General Rules for Design
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35. 4.0 Layout Tips
 Leave twice as much space above the heading as below. For all headings
except run-in, do not finish with a period—the heading is meant to lead
you straight into the following text.
 Don’t be afraid to leave white space. It costs more in paper but helps
readability.
 Avoid underlines. Underlines were invented for typewriters. With word
processors, we have sexier alternatives. Use bold or italic for emphasis.
 Avoid the other typist’s habit of two spaces after a period. One space will
do.
 Lists. Indent lists for maximum readability. Some lists can be implemented
as tables.
4.2 General Rules for Design
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36. 5.0 Practicing these Tips
 Spend as much time rewriting as you spend writing. Stephen King says: First
Draft = Second Draft - 10%. That means your second draft should be shorter
and should demonstrate a reduction of dead words!
 Allow for at least one day between composing and editing. You cannot write–
create–with your structured, critical, editor’s brain.
 Print your draft and circle the verbs. Identify weak verbs and revise where
possible.
 Keep clauses to one verb wherever possible.
 Rewrite nouns and verbs with specific examples.
 Spell and grammar check, and turn on your style check! Most word-processing
programs have them.
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37. Credits
 Glasburgen, Randy, www.glasburgen.com
 The Journal of Business Communication, Volume 38, Number 4, October 2001
 Le Guin, Ursula, Steering the Craft, The Eighth Mountain Press (April 15, 1998)
 King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Scribner. (2001)
 Schultz, Dr. Heidi, Lecture. Kenan-Flagler Business School, University of North Carolina at
Chapel Hill. (1999)
 Strunk, W. White. E.B., The Elements of Style, 4th Edition. (1999)
 www.Write-an-essay.com
 Zinsser, William, On Writing Well, Harpercollins College Div; 5th edition (August, 1995)
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