Communicating with the Teen Brain -what parents of teens must know
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This was PPT done for the Rotary group on “Communicating with your teen”. Most breakdown in communication between teens and parents is because of what’s happening inside their brain, not due to hormonal changes. The Slideshow shows how the brain undergoes huge changes during adolescence, with an over-active emotional brain (Amygdala) and under-active thinking brain (Pre-frontal cortex). Also shared are tips for parents to change their communication to adapt to the developing teen brain. Speaker: Hvovi Bhagwagar, Clinical Psychologist.
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Communicating with the Teen Brain -what parents of teens must know
- 1. “I hate my parents!!”… ….How to love your teen anyway! HVOVI BHAGWAGAR, Clinical Psychologist www.manashni.com
- 5. Myelineation
- 6. Dr Deborah Yurgelun-Todd, 2004
- 7. So how does all this help me with my teen?
- 8. Tip #1 Don’t ask Why
- 9. Tip #2 Avoid questions that contain more than one context. Don’t ask them to Multi-task
- 10. Tip # 3 Communicate in the medium they connect to. If they don’t want to talk -Connect physically, -Talk while doing an activity.
- 11. Tip # 4 Be a good listener Most parents talk 50% more than they should.
- 12. Tip # 5 Kids do what they see not what they hear No shouting Make Eye contact Be polite Be calm
- 13. Tip #6 Monitor teens’ Physical health CHECK VITAMINS D3 AND B12 AVOID SUGAR. SIMPLE CARBS CAUSE A SUGAR-RUSH FOLLOWED BY A SUDDEN DROP IN ENERGY INSIST ON BREAKFAST. PHYSICAL EXERCISE (EVEN 10 MIN) SLEEP (ATLEAST 9 HOURS)
- 14. Tip # 7 Teens love data Instead of lecturing give them facts…. Cannabis can lower a teen’s IQ. Binge drinking can cause brain cells to die in a teen’s brain while it would cause only intoxication in an adult. Teen brains have more receptors for drugs…so the damage is higher
- 15. Tip #8 Encourage PFC development • Physical activity speeds up myelination and encourages coordination between the emotion and reasoning centres of the brain • Have teens apply learning to solve “real challenges” • Invite teens to consider implications and cause and consequence • Involve teens in making reasoned choices
- 16. Stay alert Teens are a high risk group • As per WHO research maximum suicides in India occur between the ages of 15-21 years. • Most of these are related to difficulty coping with studies, peer pressure, lack of sex education etc. • India is among the countries with the lowest level of parent engagement • Medical experts agree that building a good bond with teens is the best prevention strategy for suicide reduction
Editor's Notes
- Experts used to say, “It’s just hormones”, or “It’s just a natural desire to break free from parents and move towards independence.” Both those things are partly true. However new research shows something very special going on in the teenage brain.5 Something which makes it work in a different way – something which even makes it look different inside from either a child’s brain or an adult brain. But now we know that more than focussing on bodily changes we need to understand whats happening up here because that’s what causing the damage. To our teens.
- The red part is our survival brain resposnbile for involuntary funcions And the green is our feeling brain’ The PFC helps regulate our emotions In the last decade a lot of research has gone on in the field of brain science that tells us what happens in a teens brain PFC- what stops us from stealing chips when we pass a plate in a restaurant. He is losing the power of raitional thought
- But what if the PFC didn’t work well. Let’s illustrate with the story of Phineas Gage. So we know then that the PFC not only helps us reason but shapes out character and personality. And in teens the PFC is present, but it isn’t strengthened. The theory goes that our neurons (brain cells) are insulated by a fatty substance called myelin which is essential for controlled and healthy functioning of our nervous system. The process of insulation starts from the lowest parts of our brain and the last area to be myelinated, well into adulthood, is our Pre-frontal cortex. Since the process of myelination has not been completed in teen brains, this explains the knee-jerk reactions and “motor-mouth” talk we associate so well with teenagers! https://study.com/academy/lesson/phineas-gages-story-in-psychology-brain-damage-and-personality-change-lesson.html He placed explosives to blast thru mountains. He used a tamping iron to pack sand into a hole filled with explosives. The sand would confine the site of the blast. One day his asst forgot to put sand into the hole and when Phineas used the tamping iron it ricohcted back into his face, entered below his left eye and exited up via the middle of his head taking brain matter with it. Phineas got up, walked rationally, went home and a doctor patched him up. He and his tamping iron became famous. But in the interim his eprsonalty changed Before his accident, Gage was said to be a very calm, mild mannered and quiet person. He was a hard worker and got along with everyone. After the accident, he was described as irritable, easily angered, and irresponsible. He argued with everyone, was unable to follow plans, and was known to speak in vulgar profanity on a regular basis. His lifelong friends said that his personality changed so much that he was 'no longer Gage.’ Phineas Gage's Accident Imagine that a single incident could change your entire personality. That's what reportedly happened to mild-mannered Phineas Gage after a severe work-related accident left him acting like a completely different person. His unfortunate situation allowed psychologists and researchers to hypothesize about the existence of a link between brain structures and personality. In 1848, 25-year-old Phineas Gage was a foreman on the Rutland and Burlington Railroad where it was his job to prepare the ground for future train tracks. On September 13, Gage was packing holes with gunpowder when the powder detonated. It caused an iron rod that was 3 feet 7 inches long and 13 ½ pounds to fly through the air and pierce through his head. The rod entered through his lower left jaw and exited through the middle of his head. The rod landed 300 feet away and left Gage blind in his left eye. Remarkably, Gage lived to tell his story, and some say he never lost consciousness. Right after the accident, he sat up, climbed into a wagon, and asked for medical assistance. While Gage survived the accident with the ability to speak, think, and remember, his personality reportedly changed so much that he became too difficult to work with and he could not hold a steady job or stick to any plan. He went to work in New Hampshire as a stable hand and then as a coach driver in Chile. After moving around quite a bit, Phineas Gage died in 1860 following a series of seizures which were likely a result of his accident.
- First, we see a major increase of grey matter in the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain that has most to do with thinking, reasoning, logic, decision-making. It is like a tree suddenly growing and branching out in the spring. This increase mainly happens just before puberty, usually between the ages of 10 and 12. The peak of grey matter growth is at around 11 years for girls and 12 for boys. In fact, far too many connections or synapses grow at this stage (which is also what happens in a young baby’s brain). They will need to be cut back, or pruned, which is what happens next. After the huge growth which happens just before and at the start of puberty, you have a period during adolescence where the branches are cut back After the huge growth which happens just before and at the start of puberty, you have a period during adolescence where the branches are cut back or pruned. It’s as though the cells the brain doesn’t need just fall away. Scientists think that this pruning is more important than the growth, like pruning a tree to make its branches fewer but thicker and stronger. By the age of 16 or 17 you have adult levels of synapses – but when you were 1 or 2 you had twice as many. During normal adolescence you lose around 15% of grey matter from your cortex. Then, in late adolescence and into early adulthood, the brain spends time building up and thickening the branches that are left, coating the axons to make them strong. This strengthening stage is called myelination. There is more about it in Chapter Six. The theory goes that our neurons (brain cells) are insulated by a fatty substance called myelin which is essential for controlled and healthy functioning of our nervous system. The process of insulation starts from the lowest parts of our brain and the last area to be myelinated, well into adulthood, is our Pre-frontal cortex. Since the process of myelination has not been completed in teen brains, this explains the knee-jerk reactions and “motor-mouth” talk we associate so well with teenagers! Therefore, we need to be extra careful around young minds as they are unable to think completely logically nor differentiate reality from their inner world, or judge consequences well. More importantly, the underdeveloped teenage brain makes this age group most vulnerable to depression and impulsive acts. Thus teens are bad at making decisions. So asking the teen why they left the gas on is asking your pup why chwed ur slipper.
- Because myelination isn’t completed teens are processing emotions from the limbic than the PFC. So not only do they avoid making decisions when they do make them its done emotionally. Did you say any of these: Anger? Shock? Disgust? Pain? If you said any or all of these, you are just like many teenagers, but you are also completely wrong. The person in the picture is showing one emotion, and one only. And that is fear. Or you could call it terror. But it is not anger, or shock, or disgust. In an experiment researchers asked a group of adults and adolescents the same question.6 Quite simply, all the adults got it right and a large number of the adolescents got it wrong. Amazingly, when the researchers scanned the brains of the participants, they discovered that most of the teenagers were using different parts of their brain when they looked at the picture. Morgan, Nicola. Blame My Brain (Kindle Locations 251-257). Walker Books. Kindle Edition.
- Ask them what they did. You will arrive at the same place in the end but without your questions seeming like an attack
- Avoid qs that contain more than one context. When the teen brain is face with something new it gives an emotional rather than rational response. There is enough going in their brain. Keep things simple or else they default into F_F mode. Allow them time to take in and retain.
- Being in the car together is wonderful because, blissfully for my sons, there is no eye contact. You are driving, they are in the passenger seat and you can start to have the conversations that would be uncomfortable face to face. In fact, one of my favorite parts of the college search process was going on trips with my kids and over a several hour car ride you would get to the bottom of a lot of “stuff.”
- I wait for kids to talk, paretns often get irritable, I have learnt the hard way to keep quiet and kids talk. No wonder the usual complaint is “My child just won’t talk!!!” when actually they are never given a chance to do so! Parents get taken aback at how open their kids can be with simple empathic statements such as “How do you feel?” or “What’s troubling you”
- Being in the car together is wonderful because, blissfully for my sons, there is no eye contact. You are driving, they are in the passenger seat and you can start to have the conversations that would be uncomfortable face to face. In fact, one of my favorite parts of the college search process was going on trips with my kids and over a several hour car ride you would get to the bottom of a lot of “stuff.” Read up on teenage years [those that talk about the teen brain are often very informative]. It will help create a sense of empathy about what teens are going through and reduce your frustration as a parent. Keep your communication channels open and encourage your teen to share. Don’t judge their secrecy; it’s a part of growing up and creating their space. When teens feel comfortable, they share what is on their mind. Demonstrate rational thinking and controlled behaviour, as these will be models for your teen to replicate as they step into adulthood. Recognize that emotions dominate and that teens are more likely to react than to reflect – assist them in making wise choices and avoid anger as a response.
- Monitor physical health Take your teen for regular health check-ups to test for deficiencies in vitamins D3 and B12 as low levels of these usually masquerade as depression. Ensure that the child is not eating too many sugary foods as these can cause a sugar-rush followed by a sudden drop in energy, creating a cycle of “high-low” moods. Studies show that morning hunger is strongly linked to depression so ensure that your teen does not leave home on an empty stomach. Physical exercise is a must to reduce low moods. As per the WHO, even 10 minutes of aerobic exercise is sufficient for good health. Insist on good sleep One major study has shown that sleep-deprived people are 40 times more likely to suffer from clinical depression. Research shows that teens need more than nine hours of sleep. Lesser sleep builds up a sleep debt and makes the teen lose out on REM [Rapid Eye Movement] sleep, which is important for memory and learning.
- https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-marijuana-weed-ganja-and-bhaang FJ: Illicit drugs – Cannabis can lower a teen’s IQ if they are smoking on a daily basis. Excessive alcohol – tell them that they only have one brain and it is still growing. Binge drinking can cause cell death in a teen’s brain at a level that would only cause intoxication in an adult. Molly/Ecstasy – there can be significant brain damage from these drugs which is especially true during the early 20’s. Because the brain is changing and young adults have more receptors for the drugs, there is potential for severe damage. Stress – it can interfere with learning. With impulse control being weak in teens, they need to be careful about what they expose themselves to in terms of harmful situations which can cause stress.
- A recent WHO report released in April 2017 titled “Mental health status of adolescents in South-East Asia: evidence for action” came up with some startling findings. According the report, atleast 25% of Indian students admit to feeling depressed. What is a bigger eye opener is that a significant number of students (almost one-fifth) reported low levels of parental engagement. Parental engagement was defined as how much parents understood the child’s problems or worries, if parents knew what kids were doing in their free time, whether parents checked if their child’s homework was done etc. Low levels of parental engagement was found to significantly increase the risk of suicidal attempts, and increase the chances of kids feeling lonely or feeling anxious and also put the child at risk for substance use (cigarettes, drugs or alcohol). This is further backed by reports from the Global Burden of Disease Study 2013 where suicide was reported as the biggest killer of 15- to 24-year-olds in India. And most recently, a report released by the Health Ministry (‘India: Health of the Nation’s States 2017’) found that the leading reasons for injury burden among the youth is suicide and self-harm. This makes teens and young adults a high-risk population for suicide