Gift or no gift （2）～ Taboos of gift giving in Modern China!

1.
Gift
or
no
Gift?
~
Taboos
of
gift-­‐giving!
(2)
送礼还是不送？ ～ 送礼的忌讳！
(Compiled by Glenda Gao from GoGo Mandarin)
The second encounter.
第二次见面
The aim of the second meeting should be to increase the understanding
between the two sides, build better on what may have been agreed on
at the first meeting to improve the rapport yet further. For
instance, you may have arranged to play golf together or take part in
a wine-tasting event. Maybe the Chinese party, trying to be a good
host, will have invited you on a tour of places of local interest.
第二次见面的目的是为了增加双方的了解，建立良好的关系，当然也包括完成
第一次见面约定的事。也许你们之前约定了一起打网球或高尔夫球，也许是一
起品尝一些红酒。也许中方为了尽东道主的责任，邀请你去参观当地的一个名
胜古迹。
Things to discuss at the second dinner: Now is the time to find out
more about the Chinese party’s agenda, ask a few questions and invite
him or her to advise whether there are any particular preparations

2. should be made or whether there are any special considerations of
which you should be made aware. The Chinese party may then give you
some suggestions and may even give you some problems of a special or
technical nature in order to clarify certain matters with you.
Alternatively, you may be given certain small tasks to carry out in
order to test your capabilities.
饭桌上可以谈的事：可以就中方的项目多了解一些，多提一些问题，也可以请
教一下应该准备及需要注意的事项。中方会给你一些好的建议，也许会问你一
些专业的问题，以摸清你的底细，或给你一些小的任务，以测试你的能力。
Chinese people believe that courtesy demands reciprocity and so they
may well insist on paying the bill for the second dinner. Of course,
this should not stop you from at least offering to pick up the tab
but if the Chinese side insists on paying there is no need to put up
too much of a struggle! At this point you can present a gift which
you may have prepared beforehand. The gift should be a little more
expensive than the first one and should be one which your Chinese
counter-party can easily accept, for instance, a high quality bottle
of wine (but avoid Chinese liquor “maotai”which is listed as a gift
which counts as a bribe – red wine has managed to escape being put
on the list). But how should you present your gift and what should
be said? To be honest, there is no one way of answering this
question as appropriate comments will depend very much on
circumstances. Some Chinese, on presenting a gift to their superiors
may say that it was a gift given to them which they have no use for
and so they wish to present it to their boss. To many westerners
this may seem odd and even unwelcome because it suggests that the
gift giver did not want the gift and is trying to fob it off on
someone else. However that is not the spirit in which such things
are done. Rather, the intention is to put the recipient at ease by
letting him or her know that the giver did not go to extraordinary
lengths to obtain the present and is not trying to grovel. Another
way may be to let the recipient know that the gift had been kept by
you for a very long time (inferring that you are parting with
something that you treasure).
中国人讲究礼尚往来，一般来说第二次见面他们会主动要求买单。当然你也可
以抢着买单，但如果中方坚持要买的话，就别争下去了。这时你应该拿出事先

3. 准备好的礼物。 礼物应该比上次稍贵重一点，而且是对方容易接受的。比如，
高级一点的酒（应避免茅台） ，但一定不要说是买来的，可以说是别人送的
（目的是不要给对方太多的压力）或是自己收藏的（代表是自己的珍爱）。
（to be continued…）
Please leave a comment as I would love to hear from you! Want more
information on Chinese culture and customs? If so, please let me
know and email me: glendagao@gogomandarin.com
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