2. BRIDGES TO INTIMACY
I’m so glad you decided to register for the
workshop Secrets of Intimacy! In today’s
crazy world of technology, high-speed jobs,
and overstimulation, we are so stressed out
that our relationships tend to suffer. We for-
get that superficial conversations and min-
imal contact don’t contribute to intimacy.
If you registered for the workshop, I’m en-
couraged to think that you value your re-
lationship and want to find better ways to
connect.
While you wait for the date of the workshop
to come, don’t panic! I know relationships
can be difficult, but don’t give up, there is
light at the end of this tunnel, and great joy
on the other side. To start walking in the
right direction, start building a bridge of
trust that reaches out to your partner and
says: We can do this! I’m willing to take the
first steps to bring intimacy back into our
relationship.
Before you attend the webinar, I want you
to do two things. First, go to our FaceBook
page and register to become part of the
community. Second, be sure to watch this
video:
I have designed three simple steps that can
get you started in the road to intimacy. Start
practicing them before the seminar and see
what happens.
Press the button above to begin your journey into true intimacy.
Press the button above to find a way into a new love connection
Press the button above to find ways to share your love
Plan your actions and keep track of the results
Create a love connection
Create positive expectations
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Plan & Journal
2nd
3rd
J
Create a meaningful conversation1st
3. Intimate conversation is not about constant headlong plunges into touchy subjects - a behavior which has the potential to
tear you and your partner apart.
Intimate conversation is about sharing closeness and just talking with your loved one.
Start by sharing everyday a few minutes of “how was our day?” chat to reconnect.
1
Put your feelings into words. If you are not sure how to describe
your feelings, try several words until you hit on the one that “feels
right.” (practice by writing down your feelings below)
2
Ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions that can be answered
with yes or no. Replace “Did you have a good day at work?” with
“What was it like at work today.” (write down sample questions)
3
Follow up with statements that deepen the connection. Don’t put
words in your partner’s mouth. Check if you understood the mean-
ing and don’t assume anything. (write down your own ideas below)
4
Express compassion and empathy. Don’t try to “fix” anything, or try
to “reason.” Just let the other know that you are with him or her and
accept his or her emotions as valid. Be an ally more than a problem
solver. Listen with your heart! (write down how you feel about this)
1
2
3
Create Meaningful Conversation
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4. Create a Love Connection
Dr. Gottman, from the Gotten Institute, who has done considerable research on what makes relationships work has some very practical suggestions
that can help you protect and develop your intimacy. His studies have shown that a little bit every day goes a long way. If both partners build habits of
turning towards each other in simple everyday moments, they build bridges of affection and admiration that lead to intimacy.
Think of the ideas below as materials for building that bridge. Remember that every relationship is different. Whether you prefer to reach out by build-
ing bridges, carving intricate tunnels, or sending messages in bottles towards each other, what is important is the connections you create. You can start
practicing affection, and intimacy tends to naturally follow. Use the suggestions below to jump start your imagination for things you can do to start
connecting in your journey back to intimacy.
Things You Can Do For Your Spouse
Fix coffee, a snack, or a meal for your partner.
Wait on your partner when he or she is ill.
Compliment your partner, say thank you, praise his or her efforts around the house.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Buy a silly gift. Buy something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.
Do something kind for your partner’s friends or family.
Run errands for your partner.
Call or send an email during the workday. Ask how it’s going.
Put a loving note into your partner’s lunch or briefcase.
Draw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner’s coat pocket.
Hug, Kiss, Hold hands, Cuddle.
Reminisce.
Take a walk together.
Volunteer together.
Talk over drinks, or coffee, or tea.
Philosophize.
Wash the dishes: you wash, they dry.
Go do something fun together.
Create artwork together.
Help to take care of an aging relative.
Take a shower or a bath together.
Fold laundry. (It can be fun if done together!)
Take a spontaneous trip to somewhere beautiful.
Plan your future. Dream.
Things You Can Do With Your Spouse
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5. Modern communication technology offers many opportunities for building intimacy throughout the day. Try some of the ideas below and see how both
you and your partner start looking forward to seeing each other at the end of the work day.
Create Positive Expectations
Plan your communication ideas step-by-step
Share interesting things with each other.
Insightful articles you loved in the news.
A piece of great writing that has been cir-
culating through the office. A set of pho-
tographs someone found on BuzzFeed
or StumbleUpon, whatever you think
your partner would appreciate!
Check in regularly with your partner via
text message. Show your interest in their
daily activities and life. How did that
presentation go? What did he/she have
for lunch? Let him/her know how excit-
ed you are to share a 6-second kiss with
them later!
1 2 3
Send small, meaningful messages to
cheer each other up, especially if your
partner is having a hard day. Share fun-
ny text, pictures, videos and make each
other laugh. Send an inside joke. Send a
funny video from Youtube. Send a quick
message on chat.
Make sure you start applying some of these ideas TODAY. Go to our FB page and share with our community what are you doing and what results
are you finding. I look forward to sharing more ideas with you in the upcoming workshop Secrets of Intimacy!
What’s going on in your partner’s life? Messages to cheer up my partner My partner’s interests
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6. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 1
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
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7. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 2
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
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8. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 3
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
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9. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 4
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
NEXT PAGE ►NEXT PAGE ►
10. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 5
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
NEXT PAGE ►NEXT PAGE ►
11. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 6
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
NEXT PAGE ►NEXT PAGE ►
12. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 7
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
NEXT PAGE ►NEXT PAGE ►
13. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 8
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
NEXT PAGE ►NEXT PAGE ►
14. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 9
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
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15. Plan & Journal
Today’s Date
1 Put your feelings into words.
2 Ask open-ended questions.
3 Follow up with statements that deepen the connection.
4 Express compassion and empathy.
Create a Meaningful Conversation
Create a Love Connection
Things you can do with your spouse
Create Positive Expectations
What’s going on in your partner’s life?
Messages to cheer up my partner
My partner’s interests
What Was Your Partner’s Response?
Journal About It...
DAY - 10
Things you can do with your spouse
Fix Coffee, a snack, or meal for your partnerWait on your partner when he or she is illCompliment your partner, say thank you, praise his efforts around the houseListen. Listen. Listen.Buy a silly gift or something inexpensive. Make it an inside joke.Do something kind for your partner's friends or family.Run errands for your partnerCall or send an email during the workday. Ask how it's it going.Put a loving note into your partner's lunch or briefcaseDraw a funny picture or write a sweet note. Hide it in your partner's coat pocket
Hug, Kiss, Hold Hands, CuddleReminsceTake a walk togetherVolunteer togetherTalk over drinks, or coffee, or teaPhilosophizeWash dishes, you wash, they dryDo something fun togetherCreate art work togetherHelp to take care of an aging relativeTake a shower or bath togetherFold laundry (make it fun together)Take a spontaneous trip togetherPlan your future. Dream
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