A Short Course on Scientific Writing.ppt

A Short Course on Scientific Writing
The Craft of Scientific Writing
by Michael Alley
Prepared by Summer 2006 RET participants
Advisor: Dr. Andreas Linninger
based on the book entitled:

Technical Writing: Overview
• Motivation
• Part I - Structure: (3 topics)
– Where to start
– Organization of a technical paper
– Providing Transition, Depth and Emphasis
• Part II – Language (6 topics)
– Precision
– Clarity
– Tone
– Familiarity
– Being Concise
– Being Fluid

Overview Continued
• Part III – Illustration (2 topics)
– Making the right choices
– Creating the best designs
• Part IV– Writing (6 topics)
– Correspondence
– Proposals
– Instructions
– Preparing presentations
– Format
– Writing the paper

Motivation: The Importance of
Quality Scientific Writing
• For learning to occur, it is important to clearly
communicate concepts
• Poor writing leads to useless and confusing
documents
• Good writing is necessary to fund projects
• Good writing is a marketable and highly
valued skill

Chapter 1: Deciding Where to Begin
Prepared by Seth Baker
RET Summer 2006

Considerations for Scientific Writing
As you write you must consider the complexity of
the subject as well as the unique language used.
Complexity of Subject
–Random (fluid dynamics)
–Intricate (DNA structure)
–Abstract (electron orbits)
Complexity of Language
–Terms (unique vocabulary)
–Abbreviations (common)

Establishing Your Constraints
• Audience
– Who are they?
– What is their level of understanding?
– Why are they reading the paper?
• Inform: The most information in the least amount of reading.
• Persuade: Present well organized logical arguments.
• Politics
– Be honest
– Ethical responsibility
• Satisfy additional constraints

Establishing Your Constraints
Continued
• Mechanics
– Follow the rules of punctuation and grammar
– Keep up with recent change
• Format
– Typeface, references, length of document
•You may not have control over format, just follow it.
•Worry about your style, that is what you can control.

Elements of your Writing Style
• Language – choice and arrangement of words
Six goals in scientific writing
Precise Clear
Forthright
Familiar
Fluid
Concise

Elements of your Writing Style
• Structure
–Organization of details
–Transition between details
–Depth of details
–Emphasis of details
• Illustration
–Integrate the illustrations with the document
–Selective in use of illustrations
–Use to clarify written information

Chapter 2
Structure: Organizing Your Scientific
Documents
Prepared by Seth Baker
RET Summer 2006

Sections of your Document
• Beginning- Prepare for the middle section
– Creating Titles
– Writing Summaries
– Writing Introductions
• Middle- Present and explain the work
– Choosing an Appropriate Strategy
– Creating Sections and Subsections
• End- Analyze the results
– Writing Conclusion Sections
– Writing the Back Matter
• Appendix
• Glossary

Beginnings of Documents:
Creating Titles
• Single most important phrase of the document
• A strong title orients in two ways:
– Identifies a field of study for the document
– Separates the document from the rest in that field
Improving Solar Energy
• Too General
10MWe Solar Thermal Electric Central Receiver Barstow Power Pilot
Transfer Fluid Conversion Study
• No “small” words, abbreviations, too many facts
Proposal to Use a New Heat Transfer Fluid in the Solar One Power Plant
• Good balance of terms and small words, specific topic

Writing Summaries/Abstracts
• Descriptive summaries describe the work done
– table of contents in paragraph form
• Informative summaries present the results of
the work
– give major conclusions and recommendations
• Some summaries combine descriptive and
informative qualities
– Choose what type of summary is most beneficial

Writing Introductions
• Gives details that would not fit in summary
• Creates a “map” of the paper
• Includes any limitations, background
information, motivations
• By the end of the introduction the audience
should have these answered:
– What exactly is the work?
– Why is the work important?
– What is needed to understand the work?
– How will the work be presented?

Middles of Documents:
Choosing an Appropriate Strategy
• Chronological strategy is appropriate in discussion of
a time-line or cyclic process
ie: Evolution of Hawaiian volcanoes
• Spatial strategy follows the physical shape of an
object describing it part by part
ie: Vascular structure of the human body
• Variable flow strategy follows the changes of some
variable
ie: Wind patterns in arctic regions
• Cause-effect and comparison-contrast
ie: Evaluation of traditional and alternative treatments for
Autism

Middles of Documents:
Creating Sections and Subsection
• Sections show readers the strategy of the document
and allow to jump to what interests
• Sections should be of approximately same length and
created to properly “pace” the reading
• A section title should be
– Indicative of the results within that section
– In parallel to the other sections
• If you create one section there should be a second

Ending of Documents:
Writing Conclusion Sections
• A conclusion should
– analyze as a whole the key results from the
document’s middle
– give a future prospective on the work:
recommendations, future direction or place in the
big picture
• A conclusion is like an informative summary
but goes into more depth

Ending of Documents:
Writing the Back Matter
• Back matter include appendices and glossary
• Appendices can present information for a
variety of audiences
– Background information to a less technical
audience
– Detailed information for the experts in the field
• A glossary is a special appendix that gives
background definitions to secondary audience

Chapter 3
Structure: Providing Transition, Depth, and
Emphasis
Prepared by Brian Sweetman
UIC, Chicago, 1/25/2006
Instructor: Prof. Andreas A. Linninger

Motivation: Structure
• Organization of details within a document
– Transition
• The depth of information presented
– Depth
• The communication of important details
– Emphasis

Transition
• Introduce the sections of the paper in a list just before they occur
– As part of the body of text in sentence form.
– Prepares reader
• Create logical divisions that are appropriate for the audience
– Form of sections should have consistency
• Parallel ideas
• Reader can anticipate what is coming next
– Adhere to list
• Appropriate Beginning

Transition
• Three Beginnings to Avoid
– “Empty” beginning
• Ionizing radiation has adverse affects on health.
– “in media res” beginning – too specific
• Low linear energy transfer (LET) radiation, ionize sparsely.
– “Genesis” beginning – too general
• Ionizing radiation has existed since the beginning of time.

Transition
• Use the following techniques
– Introduce the subject of the section
– Explain an unfamiliar term in the section heading
• Important Repetition

Depth
• Document format
– Is there a word count restriction?
– Maintain consistency
• Keep the same level of depth throughout
• Audience interest level
– Satisfy the reader’s interest by providing proper amount of detail
– Anticipate the reader’s questions
• Know your Audience
– Technical level

Depth
• Document purpose
– Informational
• Details are limited
• Emphasis on the how instead of the why – e.g. Set of Instructions
– Persuasive
• Include rebuttal arguments to support your position
• Discuss advantages your position has over alternatives

Emphasis
• Repetition
– Repeat what you want the reader to remember
• People only remember 10-20% of what they read
– Repetition is not redundant
• Wording
– Use dependent clauses (DC) and infinitive phrases (IP)
• DC’s begin with “because,” “since,” “as,” “although,” and “when”
• IP’s are action phrases and begin with the word “to”
– Don’t overuse prepositional phrases
• Sentences using the words “of”, “on,” “from,” “over,” etc.

Emphasis
Eliminate Ambiguity
– Avoid:
• “One of the panels on the north side of the solar receiver
will be repainted with Solarcept during the February
plant outage.”
– Use:
• “Because the February plant outage gave us time to
repair the north side of the solar receiver, we repainted
the panels with Solarcept, a new paint developed to
increase absorptivity.”

Emphasis
Illustrations/Figures
– Should enhance text
• Scientific readers do not read every sentence
– Do not overload figures
• Large numbers of figures dilute significance of any one figure

Emphasis
Placement of Details
– Bordered by white space
• Titles and Headings
• Beginnings and endings of sections
– At the beginning or end of a paragraph
• White space due to tab (indent) and space at the end of paragraph’s
last line
– Short following long (sentence/paragraph)
• Places emphasis on short sentence.
• Places emphasis on idea in short paragraph

Summary
Good Writing is Structured and contains these
three important elements
Transition
Depth
Emphasis

Chapter 4
Language: Being Precise
Prepared by Vidya Rao

Language: Being Precise
• Precision
– Most important goal of language
– If your writing does not communicate exactly what you did then you
have changed the work.
“When a writer conceives an idea he conceives it in a form of words.
That form of words constitutes his style, and it is absolutely governed by
the idea. The idea can only exist in words, and it can only exist in one
form of words. You cannot say exactly the same thing in two different
ways. Slightly alter the expression, and you slightly alter the idea.” -
Arnold Bennett
– Keep in mind the audience.

Choosing the Right Word
• Word Meaning
– Be sure to chose the word with the correct meaning.
– Common mistakes can be made such as choosing affect when what is
meant is effect, weight when you mean mass.
• Word Grouping
– Common errors occur while combining words such as stating centered
around instead of centered on or revolves around, regardless of instead
of irregardless of
• Synonyms
– Can often confuse the reader
– Minimize use of a thesaurus/ meanings are often inexact
– Example of words from a thesaurus: perfect-pure-unvarnished-
unfinished-rough-imperfect; perfect and imperfect are antonyms
– Most writers do not worry about repeating the same word if it is the right
word

Chose the Right Level of Detail
• Achieve balance between statements
– General statements (establishes the direction of thought)
Example: The DOE wrote, “Our last progress report (March 1985)
discussed the damage to ten solar mirrors during a February
thunderstorm...”
– Specific details (gives evidence to support that direction and
gives the audience something concrete to remember-generalities
are soon forgotten)
Example: The DOE continued with, “Now, after finding high winds
had caused the cracks, we have been showing all solar mirrors
in a horizontal, as opposed to vertical, position during storms.”

Chose the Right Level of Detail
• How many details should be reported? Discern what is
important. Sometimes specific details confuse the reader
because they give too much information giving rise to
unintentional and unwanted side issues.
• Being precise does not mean compiling details; it means
choose details that inform the reader.
• Take a lesson from good fiction writing; specific details are
what readers remember but too many make for tiresome
reading.

A Short Course on Scientific
Writing
by Michael Alley
prepared by Meaghan Fitzgerald
based on a book entitled

Language: Being Clear
• What makes writing unclear?
– Needless complexity
– Ambiguity
• Part I – Avoiding Needless Complexity
– Needlessly complex words
– Needlessly complex phrases
– Needlessly complex sentences
• Part II – Avoiding Ambiguity
– Ambiguities in word choices
– Ambiguities in syntax
– Ambiguities in pronouns
– Ambiguities in punctuation

What makes writing unclear?
• Clarity means avoiding things that you don’t
mean
• Two main sources:
– Ambiguity
– Needless complexity
• In technical writing each sentence builds on
the ones around it, so if your language is
unclear your reader misses your point.

Chapter 5: Language: Being Unclear
Prepared by Meaghan Fitzgerald

Avoiding Needless Complexity
• KEEP THINGS SIMPLE
• Worst problem in scientific writing
• Arises in words, phrases and sentences

Needlessly Complex Words
• Words that don’t add precision or clarity
• Ask yourself: Are the words precise? Are they clear?
• Examples:
– Familiarization  familiarity (nouns)
– Prioritize  assess (verbs)
– Personalized  personal (adjectives)
– Heretofore  previous (adverbs)
• Collectively, making these substitutions can have a profound effect–
BE CONSISTANT
• Opting for simpler word choices make your ideas more clear to your
readers

Needlessly Complex Words
• EXAMPLE
– Complex:
• The objective of this study is to develop an effective
commercialization strategy for solar energy systems by
analyzing the factors that are impeding early commercial
projects and by prioritizing the potential government and
industry actions that can facilitate the viability of the projects.
– Revision:
• The study will consider why current solar energy systems have
not reached the commercial stage and will evaluate the steps
that industry and government can take to make these systems
commercial.

Needlessly Complex Phrases
• One source: stringing modifiers in front of nouns
• Nouns are steppingstones in a sentence
– With too many modifiers readers don’t know where to step,
– They dilute the meaning of the modifiers
– And brings imprecision into the sentence
• EXAMPLE:
– Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar thermal electric central receiver Barstow power pilot plant.
– Solar One is a solar-powered pilot plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One
produces 10 megawatts of electric power by capturing solar energy in central receiver
design.
• EXAMPLE:
– The decision will be based on economical fluid replenishment cost performance.
– We will base the decision on the cost of replacing the thermal oil.

Needlessly Complex Sentences
• Average sentence length in technical papers = 30 words
• Average sentence length in the average newspaper = 20
words
• EXAMPLE:
– The object of the work was to confirm the nature of the electrical breakdown of
nitrogen in uniform fields at relatively high pressures and interelectrode gaps that
approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the determination of the
processes that set the criterion fro breakdown in the above-mentioned gases and
mixtures in uniform and non-uniform fields o engineering significance.

• Why is it complex?
– 61 words
– 2 hyphenated
– After “gaps” the sentence wonders from one prepositional phrase
to another
– 11 prepositional phrases
– No momentum or flow through the sentence
• Don’t associate shorter sentences as cure for clear
writing
• It is not LONG sentences that confuses readers- its
COMPLEX sentences

• Revision:
– At relatively high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gap
distances (1 mm) the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied in
uniform fields.
• Why its better:
– 23 words
– 3 prepositional phrases
• Complex = too many ideas in one sentence
• Ask “does the sentence inform?”

• To “fix” the sentence:
– Decide which details are important
– Focus on one main idea
– Make sure the sentence doesn’t wander
– Imagine sitting across from your audience while writing
• Writing styles change, but GREAT SCIENTISTS
AND ENGINEERS ARE NOT NECESSARILY GREAT
WRITERS
• In scientific writing, beauty lies in clarity and
simplicity.

• The purpose of scientific writing is to inform, not to impress
• EXAMPLE:
– In that the “Big Bang” is currently the most credibly theory about how the
universe was created, explains only the creation of hydrogen and helium,
we are left to theorize as to how all the other elements came into being.
Having studied the nuclear reactions that constitute the life and death
cycles of stars, many scientists believe therein lies the key.
• REVISION:
– The “Big Bang” is the most credible theory for the creation of the universe.
Nevertheless, the “Big Bang” explains the creation of only helium and
hydrogen. What about the other elements? Many scientists believe that
they arose from nuclear reactions that occur in the life and death cycles of
stars.

Avoiding Ambiguity
• Ambiguity is created by the use of a word,
phrase or sentence that can be interpreted in
more than one way.
• EXAMPLE:
– The solar collector worked well under passing clouds.
• Question:
– Does the solar collector work at a height that is well below
the passing clouds, or under passing clouds does the solar
collector work well?

Avoiding Ambiguity
• EXAMPLE:
– Two general requirements to be met are (1)to survive and accurately measure the
radiation incident on the receiver and (2) to present the data in a form that can be used
to verify computer code predictions.
• Rough transition
• Should include phase “radiometer system”
• Two versus three requirements
• Questions:
– Who or what must survive?
• REVISION:
– The radiometer system for the solar receiver must meet three requirements: (1) it must
accurately measure to within 5 percent the solar radiation on the receiver; (2) its
electronics must survive in solar radiation as intense as 300 kilowatts per square
meter, and (3) its output must be able to verify computer codes.

Ambiguities in Word Choice
• Words can have multiple meanings
• Common examples is using AS to mean BECAUSE,
but many readers see it as meaning WHILE
• EXAMPLE:
– T cells, rather than B cells, appeared as the lymphocytes migrated
to the thymus gland.
• REVISED:
– T cells, rather than B cells, appeared because the lymphocytes
migrated to the thymus gland.

Ambiguities in Syntax
• Syntax = order and structure of words and phrases
in a sentence
• EXAMPLE: (word placement)
– Only I tested the bell jar for leaks yesterday.
– I only tested the bell jar for leaks yesterday
– I tested only the bell jar for leaks yesterday
– I tested the bell jar only for leaks yesterday
– I tested the bell jar for leaks only yesterday
• EXAMPLE: (phrase placement)
– In low water temperatures and high toxicity levels of oil, we tested how
well the microorganisms survived.
• REVISED:
– We tested how well the microorganisms survived in low water
temperatures and high toxicity levels of oil.

Ambiguities in Pronouns
• There should never be any doubt as to what the
pronoun refers
• EXAMPLE:
– Because the receiver presented the radiometer with a high-flux
environment, it was mounted in a silver-plated stainless steel
container.
• QUESTIONS:
– What is mounted in the container?
– The receiver?
– The radiometer?
– The environment?
• It actually refers to radiometer

Ambiguities in Pronouns
• Two biggest abuses of pronouns:
– IT and THIS
• IT is a pronoun
• THIS is an adjective; a directive, a pointer.

Ambiguities in Punctuation
• Punctuation marks act as road signs in the writing.
• Biggest abuse – COMMA
A. After introductory phrases
B. Separating three or more items
• EXAMPLES(A):
– After cooling the exhaust gases continue to expand until the
density reaches that of freestream.
– REQUIRES A COMMAAFTER COOLING
– When feeding a shark often mistakes undesirable food items for
something it really desires.
– REQUIRES A COMMAAFTER FEEDING

Ambiguities in Punctuation
• EXAMPLES (B):
– In our study, we examined neat methanol, neat ethanol, methanol
and 10 percent water and ethanol and 10 percent water
• REVISED:
– In our study, we examined four fuels: neat methanol, neat ethanol,
methanol with 10 percent water, and ethanol with 10 percent water.
• GOOD EXAMPLE:
– The three elements were hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen.

Chapter 6- Language: Being Forthright
Prepared by Celene Moorer

Language- Being Forthright: Overview
• Part I – Controlling Tone
– What is tone
– Avoid pretentious words
– Avoid arrogant phrases
– Avoid silliness
• Part II – Choose Strong Nouns and Verbs
– Concrete vs Abstract Nouns
– Using Strong Verbs
– Active vs Passive Voice
– Choosing to Use the 1st Person

What is tone?
• Tone is whatever in your language indicates the
attitude that you have towards the subject
• Often, engineers lose control of tone by avoiding
simple, straightforward wording
• Being forthwright means selecting strong nouns and
verbs since they are the most important words in the
sentence

Avoiding Pretentious Words
• Pretentious words offer no precision or clarity to the writing
Examples of common pretentious words:
– Approximately: appropriate when used to modify a measurements
accuracy to within a fraction but pretentious when applied to a
rougher estimate such as approximately twelve people; in this case the
word “about” should be used
– Component: often replaced by part
– Utilize: a pretentious way to say the word “use”. Should challenge –
ize verbs since there is often a simpler substitution
• Example:
– “The elevated temperatures of the liquid propellent fuel facilitated
an unscheduled irrevocable disassembly.”
↓
– “The higher temperatures caused the liquid propellant to explode.”

Avoiding Arrogant Phrases
• Avoid such phrases as “as is well known”, “clearly
demonstrate”, or “of course”
• Most arrogant expression is the phrase “it is obvious”, if
the detail is obvious than it shouldn’t be included and if it
is not obvious, calling it that will annoy the reader
• Example:
– “The results clearly demonstrate the ability of Raman spectroscopy to
provide unambiguous chemical compound identifications from oxides as
they grow on a metal surface.”
↓
– “The results show that Raman spectroscopy can identify chemical
compounds from oxides that are growing on a metal surface.”

Avoiding Silliness
• Avoid cliches: figurative expressions that have become
too familiar
• Example:
– “When you come up to speed, I will touch base with you and we’ll knock
heads together and figure out a solution.”
– “I am in search of a meaningful growth position, and your company is a
gateway to the highest professional levels and beyond……”

Using Strong Nouns
• Concrete nouns: nouns that provide one of the five
senses
• Abstract nouns: nouns that do not provide one of the five
senses
-reducing abstract nouns will strengthen your writing
• Common abstract nouns:
-ability -nature
-approach -parameter
-environment -factor
-concept -capability

Using Strong Verbs
• Weak verb phrases make sentences lethargic
• Examples:
Weak verb phrases Strong Verb
– Made the arrangement for arranged
– Made the decision decided
Buried verb Strong Verb
– Is beginning begins
– Is following follows

Active vs Passive Voice
• Key to choosing between an active and passive
voice is to ask which form is more natural
• Example:
– “The voltage was given on the oscilloscope.”
↓
– “The oscilloscope displayed the voltage.” Comfortable
– “The oscilloscope calculated the voltage.” Uncomfortable

Choosing to Use the 1st Person
• Avoiding the first person leads to unnatural wording
– “It was determined that”
– “It was decided that”
• Reserve the use of the first person for situations in which
your role in the work is important, for instance when
making an assumption
• Avoid placing the first person as the beginning of the
word of a sentence because that position receives heavy
emphasis
• Have the first person follow an introductory adverb,
infinitive phrase, or dependent clause.

Conclusion
• Don’t use pretentious words or arrogant phrases
• Avoid cliches
• Be sure to use strong nouns and verbs
• Know when to use the active vs the passive
voice correctly
• Use the first person when your work is important
• Avoid placing the first person at the beginning of
a sentence

Chapter 7:
Language: Being Familiar
Prepared by Leianne A. Torres

Introduction
• The purpose of a scientific paper is to inform
your audience about the results obtained during
the course of your research
• To inform your audience, the language used
must be understandable to them
• You, as the writer, are responsible for bridging
the language gap between yourself and your
readers

Outline
“The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking”
-Albert Einstein
I. Avoiding Unfamiliar Terms
A. Jargon
II. Defining Unfamiliar Terms
A. Best Way to Define
B. Abbreviations
III. Incorporation Examples and Analogies

Avoiding Unfamiliar Terms
• The simplest way to handling unfamiliar terms is to avoid
them
Jargon
– Definition
» The specialized or technical language of the trade, profession
or similar group.
» Specialized technical terminology characteristic of a particular
subject.
– May be either abbreviation or slang
– Use only to make the reading more efficient
“The quality of our thoughts is bordered on all sides by our facility with
language”
-J. Michael Straczynski
American Writer/Producer

Defining Unfamiliar Terms
• Guidelines
– If the definition is short, include it within the sentence
– If the definition is complex or unusual, expand the definition to a
sentence or two
– Select words that are familiar to the readers
• Examples:
– Short Definition:
The data was stored on a small, lightweight, removable, data storage
device, or USB Flash Drive.
– Complex Definition:
The final shape resembled something similar to a Buckyball. A
buckyball is a hollow, spherical, molecule composed entirely of
interlocking six-sided shapes that are made of carbon. It is so named
after Buckminster Fuller, an engineer who first discoverd it.

Defining Unfamiliar Terms cont.
• Noun terms
– Begin with a familiar noun that identifies the class to which the term
belongs
– Example:
Cartilage is a connective tissue, found between bones that permits smooth
movement of the joints.
• Abbreviations
– If the abbreviation occurs only a couple of times, then avoid it
– For terms used sparingly in the beginning of the document but frequently
later on, use the full expression earlier and define the abbreviation later
– For familiar abbreviations, define it for completeness sake somewhere in
the body of the paper, but use the abbreviation in the title and main text
– Examples:
• Unfamiliar Abbreviations:
ATP – Biological or Recreational?
PBS – Biology or Entertainment?
• Familiar Abbreviations:
DNA, RNA, FBI, CIA

Incorporating Examples and Analogies
• Used to enrich the writing, and provides better
understanding to the reader
• Whenever a general statement is made, it
should be anchored with an example
• Analogies compare obscure thoughts to familiar
ones
• Analogies provide insight into how the writer
thinks

Conclusion
• Language is an important consideration
when writing a scientific paper
• A good paper employs:
– Definitions for unfamiliar terms
– Jargon sparingly and only if it makes the reading
more efficient
– Examples for generalized statements
– Analogies to help convey complex ideas or numbers

So Ends the Presentation
Any questions or comments?

Chapter 8: Language: Being Concise
Prepared by: Jacqueline Romero
University of Illinois at Chicago
02.15.06

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should have
no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary
sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should
have no unnecessary lines and a machine no
unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer
make every sentence short, or that he avoid detail and
treat his subject only in outline, but that every word tell.
-William Struck

Conciseness
• What does it mean to be concise?
– Clear
– Forthright
• How do you accomplish this?
– Eliminating pretentious diction
– Ridding sentences of abstract nouns
• Ways to cut the fat in scientific writing
– Eliminating redundancies
– Eliminating writing zeroes
– Reducing sentences to simplest forms
– Eliminating bureaucratic waste

Eliminating Redundancies
• Redundancies are needless repetitions of words
within a sentence
• Examples
– Adjectives
• The aluminum (metal) cathode became pitted during the glow
discharge.
– Verb phrases
• The use of gaseous insulation is becoming more widespread.
• Revision: Scientists are using gases more as insulators.
• Editing suggestions:
– Read with the sole intention of cutting words – no
additions!!!

Common Redundancies
Words in parenthesis can be deleted
• (already) existing
• (alternative) choices
• at (the) present (time)
• (basic) fundamentals
• (completely) eliminate
• (continue to) remain
• (currently) underway
• (empty) space
• had done (previously)
• introduced (together)
• mix (together)
• never (before)
• none (at all)
• now (at this time)
• period (of time)
• (private) industry
• (separate) entities
• start (out)
• (still) persists

Eliminating Writing Zeroes
• In writing, zeroes are phrases that have no meaning at
all and offer no information to readers.
• Example:
– It is interesting to note that over 90 incidents of satellite fragmentations
have produced over 36,000 kilograms of space debris.
– Vibration measurements made in the course of the missile’s flight test
program were complicated by the presence of intense high-frequency
excitation of the vehicle shell structure during the re-entry phase of the
flight.
– Revision: Vibration measurements made during the missile’s flight were
complicated by intense high-frequency excitation of the vehicle shell
during re-entry.

Examples of other writing zeroes
• as a matter of fact
• I might add that
• it is noteworthy that
• it is significant that
• it should be pointed out
that
• the course of
• the fact that
• the presence of

Reducing Sentences to Simplest Forms
• Sentences in their simplest forms allow for
easier comprehension
• How can you tell when a reduction can be
made?
– Look for signals:
• Overuse of adjectives
• Overuse of adverbs
• Nouns containing verbs
• Needlessly passive verbs

Example of Adjective Overuse
• The objective of our work is to obtain data that can be
used in conjunction with a comprehensive chemical
kinetics modeling study to generate a detailed
understanding of the fundamental chemical processes
that lead to engine knock.(37 words)
• Revision: Our goal is to obtain experimental data that
can be used with a chemical kinetics model to explain
the chemical processes that lead to engine knock. (26
words)

Example of Adverbs Overuse
• The achievement of success in these advanced
technologies depends very heavily on a rather
detailed understanding of the complex
processes that govern the velocities in the
unburned gases prior to combustion.(31 words)
• Revision: The success of these advanced
technologies depends on understanding the
velocities in the unburned gases prior to
combustion. (18 words)

Example of Nouns Containing Verbs
• The establishment of a well proven, well
documented, rational methodology for making
precise velocity measurements in the unburned
gas has been realized and is being used
extensively to aid in the development of
numerical models, which in turn are used in the
design of advanced piston engines. (45 words)
• We have found a method to measure velocity in
the unburned gas, and with this method, we are
developing numerical models that will help
design advanced piston engines. (27 words)

Examples of Needless Passive Verbs
• It was then concluded that a second complete solar
mirror field corrosion survey should be conducted in July
to determine whether the tenfold annual corrosion rate
projection was valid and to allow determination as to
whether subsequent corrective measures would be
effective in retarding corrosion propagation. (85
syllables)
• To see whether the corrosion rate would increase tenfold
as projected and to see whether stowing the mirrors in a
vertical position would slow the rate, we decided to
survey the solar mirror field a second time in July. (61
syllables)

Eliminating Bureaucratic Waste
• Broader perspective
– Examine needless paragraphs and sections
• In this kind of writing, empty nouns without examples to
anchor the meaning of the nouns are used.
– Examples:
• Target
• Parameter
• Development
• Steps needed to avoid this
– Consider who your audience is
– Consider what your audience needs to learn
– Allow one thought per paragraph
– Each paragraph should support the plot

Conclusion
• Make things short, sweet and to the point.
• Accomplish to write a concise document by:
– Eliminating redundancies
– Eliminating writing zeroes
– Reducing sentences to simplest forms
– Eliminating bureaucratic waste

Language: Being Fluid
by Michael Alley
By Monil Shah
BioE 595

Misconception: Scientific writing should be dull.
The Purpose of Scientific writing is to inform.
Fluid language is the lubricant that makes scientific writing
inform.
Two principal Sources for fluid writing.
• Varying Sentence Rhythms
• Eliminating Discontinuities
INTRODUCTION

VARYING SENTENCE RHYTHMS
Rhythms help determine the energy of the writing
“Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. A cloud of hot rock and gas surged
northward from its collapsing slope. The effects of Mount St. Helens were well
documented with geophysical instruments. The origin of the eruption is not well
understood.”
How do you vary rhythm?
•The way sentences begin
•The way sentences end
•Position of the subject and verb
•The length of paragraphs

Subject-Verb (important results)
“The Titanic was nearly 900 feet long, stood 25 stories high, and weighed an
incredible 46 thousand tons.”
Prepositional Phrase (time & position details)
“At the time of her construction, the Titanic was the largest ship ever built.”
Transition Words (relationship with previous sentence)
“However, on April 15, 1912, the Titanic sideswiped a massive iceberg and
sank in less than three hours.”
Infinitive Phrases (answer when, where, why)
“To measure the brittleness of the Titanic's steel, scientists conducted a
Charpy test.”
Question (verb)
When do you use Questions?
SENTENCE OPENERS

Example
“On the morning of may 18, a strong earthquake shook Mount St. Helens, causing the
volcano’s cracked and steepened north side to slide away. (24) Photographs taken
during these early seconds, together with other information, showed that the blast
originated 500 meters beneath a bulge on the north face.(25) ……. Of Significance, the
volume of new magmatic material ejected in the blast (about 0.1 km3) equals the volume
of the bulge.(22)”
A better way
“On the morning of may 18, a strong earthquake shook Mount St. Helens, causing
the volcano’s cracked and steepened north side to slide away. (24) Photographs
showed that the blast originated 500 meters beneath a bulge on the north face.
(13).The measured volume of the ejected magmatic material was about 0.1 km3.
(11) This equals the volume of the bulge. (8) ”
•Average length of sentences in the teens
•Change the sentence lengths often
•Use a short sentence for an important result
•Use a long sentence for explanation, before the result
SENTENCE LENGTHS

Simple Sentences
“ Lava from a non explosive eruption ordinarily contains only 0.2 percent water.”
Compound Sentences
“ Precursor activity to the eruption began on March 20, 1980, and many times during the
next two months the mountain shook for minutes.”
Complex Sentences
“Although the amount of devastation caused by the May 18 blast was a surprise, the
eruption itself had been expected for weeks.”
PARAGRAPH LENGTHS
•A New Paragraph - A different idea
• Average length – 7-14 lines
•Paragraph length depends on format
SENTENCE STRUCTURE

ELIMINATING DISCONTINUITIES
TRANSITION BETWEEN IDEAS
“The Cascade Range, with its prominent chain of towering cones, is not the only
threatening volcanic region in the western United States. Many people who live
in the eastern Sierra Nevada community of Mammoth lakes, California, may
have been unaware until recently that their scattered hills and ridges have a
remarkably recent volcanic origin as well. ”
Use Transitional words:
•Continuation: also, moreover
•Pause: for instance, for example, in other words
•Reversal: however, on the other hand, conversely
Solution
“The Cascade Range, with its prominent chain of towering cones, is not the only
threatening volcanic region in the western United States. The Mammoth Lakes
area of the Sierra Nevada also has a recent volcanic origin.”

Abbreviations, numerals and strings of capital letters bring discontinuities into
scientific writing.
Example Substitution
Abbreviation e.g. for example
Fig. figure
Capitals FORTRAN Fortran
IBM Ibm
Numerals 19 nineteen
$ 13,000,000 $ 13 million
NEEDLESS COMPLEX TYPOGRAPHY

Exceptions
• Decimals: 0.3
• Negative numbers: -4
• Specific measurements: 12 meters/second
• Percentages: 15 percent
• Monetary figures: $ 3,450
• Large numerals: 13 million

Avoid beginning a sentence with a numeral.
Example
64.1 milligrams of copper corroded during the tests
Solution
During the tests, 64.1 milligrams of copper corroded.
Collective Effect
Long Valley, near Mammoth Lakes, CA, is a caldera that was formed c.
990,000 yrs. ago.
Long Valley, near Mammoth Lakes, California, is a caldera that was formed
nearly 1 million years ago.

Incorrect way
“The absorptance is calculated as one minus the correction factor times the measured
reflectance.”
•Use equations even for simple relationships
•Define all the terms in the equation
•Show importance of equation
Correct way
“The absorptance (A) is calculated by
A = 1- kR
Where k is the correction factor and R is the measured reflectance.”
INCORPORATING EQUATIONS

Rd = (6Dt)1/2
•State assumptions made
•Use examples to get a feel of numbers involved
D is the electron diffusion coefficient and t is the time
For the case of nitrogen at atmospheric pressure
D= 860 cm2/sec t = 10-8 sec
•Show how the equation is solved
Using integration by parts we arrive at I = 1
INCORPORATING EQUATIONS
I = tet dt
tet dt = tet - et dt = (e - 0) - (e - 1) = 1

Keep scientific language energetic and exciting
•Using variety in opening of sentences
•Using occasional questions to make readers active participants
•Varying sentence lengths frequently, keeping average length in teens
•Changing position and number of subjects and verbs
•Organize paragraphs, averaging in seven to fourteen lines
Maintain smooth transition
•Removing discontinuities in ideas, using transition words
•Avoiding needless complex typography
•Introducing mathematical and scientific equations
•Defining terms used in equations and state assumptions
•Explaining steps in equations
Murphy’s Laws for Language: being Fluid

Writing
by Michael Alley
prepared by students of BioE 595

Chapter 10: Illustration: Making the Right
Choices
Prepared by Eyad Almasri

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and science.
Albert Einstein

Introduction
• Definition
– Is a visualization such as drawing, painting, photograph or other
work of art that stresses subject more than form.
• Kinds of Illustration:
1. Tables
• Are arrangements of numbers and descriptions in rows
and columns.
2. Figures
• Are everything else like photograph, drawing,
diagrams and graphs.

Tables
• Tables have two important uses:
1. Present numerical data
– Include a high degree of accuracy for the data.
– White spaces help the readers to have an easier time
locating specific reference numbers.

Tables
2. To present short parallel descriptions that
otherwise would have to be listed in the text.
• If these sequence of events is
presented as a text the reader
would quickly tire
• Not only would the repetitive
sentence and paragraph patterns
take audience longer to read, but
also the relationships between
the power levels and the events
will not be clear.
• For example at power 2000000
the power surges by a factor of
100000 while at 30 the power
was minimum

Figures
• Figures have two important uses:
1. Graphs: an imagistic way to present numerical data
2. Photographs, drawing and diagrams will give three ways to
present an image.
– Graphs
– Are drawings that show general relationships in data.
– Line graphs are the most common type of graph in
scientific writing.
– Contour plot are excellent for giving a physical feel for
how variables vary (For example temperature changes
over the surface).
– Bar graphs are used to compare sizes of different
elements
– Pie graphs are used to compare parts of single whole.

Graphs
• Experimental values are plotted as
points, and the analytical solution is
represented by a curve.
• Requirements
1. Label The axes.
2. Show units.
3. Scale the data.

Photographs
• Gives the readers realistic depictions of images
and events.
• The major advantage of photographs is the
realism.

Drawings
• Include line sketches and artists renditions.
• Major advantage is that you can control the
amount of precision

Diagram
• Diagrams are drawing such as electrical
schematics, that communicate through symbols.
• Advantage of the diagrams is that they show
how the different parts of a system relate to one
other.
• Be sure when using diagram that your readers
know what symbols represent

General Guidelines For Using Illustrations
• Always explain your illustration and its
importance to your work.
• The precision of the illustrations should reflect
the precision of the text. for example, don’t have
a simple graph for a complex solution, or vise
versa.
• For clarity, you should introduce and explain
illustrations in the text.

Summary
• Illustrations include both tables and figures.
• Use tables In your text to present organized
words or numbers.
• When presenting numerical data with a graph,
Be sure to choose the type of graph that is
Applicable to your data.
• When presenting images, pick a picture, a
drawing, or a diagram which best suits your
application

Writing
by Michael Alley
Prepared by students of BioE 595

Chapter 11:Illustration:Creating the Best
Designs
Prepared by
Sangeetha Padalabalanarayanan

Illustration: Overview
Goals for illustrations
• Precision
-Should best reflect the accuracy of the language
• Clarity
-Should not convey any unintended information
• Fluidity
-Readers should have continuity
• Familiarity
-Audience should gain sense of its size and
orientation

• Information should be as simple as possible, yet no
simpler
• Avoid details that aren’t self explanatory or explained in
your text
• Precision of illustrations must reflect the precision of
language
Being Precise

Being Precise: Example
• The thermal storage system stores heat in a huge, steel
walled insulated tank. Steam from the solar receiver
passes through heat exchangers to heat a thermal oil,
which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides
energy to run a steam generator that produces
electricity. Figure 11.1 shows a schematic of this system.

Being Clear
• Illustration should be assigned a formal name.
• Information either in the text or in the illustration’s
caption should be given, so that reader can understand
what the illustration is and how it fits into the document.

Being Clear
Fig 11.3 does not focus attention on the lab experiment. Instead, extraneous details like
messy lab, the researcher standing, clip board behind him stand out.

Being Clear
• Fig 11.4 shows a parachute system designed for the crew escape model of a fighter jet.
Here, the central image of the parachute system stands out clearly.

Being Fluid
• Smooth the transition between what you say and what
you show.
-Important way to do this is to match the information in
the text with what’s in the illustration.
• Placing illustrations
-Closely follow their text references.
-Should be placed just below the paragraph that
introduces them.
-Large enough to clarify details. Should include
reasonable white space border to emphasize details.

Being Fluid: Example
The testing hardware of the missile shown in fig 11.6 has five main components: camera,
digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated
by the computer and then passed through the I/O interface where the keyboard of the
ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then
digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next
command to the I/O interface.

Weaknesses in the above illustration:
• There are seven parts in the figure, not five as stated.
• Printer and control terminals are given names that are
different from what’s in the text (“I/O interface”)
• Testing system and the thing that’s being tested (missile)
is not distinguished.
• Camera didn’t aim at the missile. Reader don’t gain a
sense of flow

Revised language and illustration
Our system for testing the safety devices of the missile consists of four main parts:
Computer, camera, digitizer and electromechanical interface to the missile. In this
system, shown in fig11.7, the computer generates test commands to the missile through
the electromechanical interface. The test results are read with a television camera and
then digitized. The computer receives the information from the digitizer and then directs
the next test command.

Being Familiar
• Consider what your audience does and doesn’t know.
• Show relative size of an image by including either a
scale or familiar-sized image alongside the depicted
image

Conclusion
Important points for illustration are:
• Precision
• Clarity
• Fluidity
• Familiarity

Writing
by Michael Alley
Chapter 12: Writing Correspondence
prepared by Alex Rodriguez

Writing Correspondence: Overview
• Motivation
– Letters
– Memorandums
– E-mails
• Part I - Contraints:
– Audience
– Mechanics
• Part II – Style:
– Organization
– Emphasis
– Clarity
– Forthrightness
• Summary
• Questions

Motivation: Need for Correspondence
• Why use correspondence?
– An effective way to make requests
– Submit changes to a job
– Deliver specific information.
• Types of Correspondence
– Memos
– Letters
– Electronic mail
• Characteristics
– Written legal contract
– Dated
– Can be reread
– Reaches several people
• Goal
– Straightforward and to the point

Establishing Your Constraints: Audience
– Who are they?
• Usually one person
– What is their level of understanding?
• Determines how much depth to achieve
– Why are they reading the paper?
• Why audience begins reading?
– It’s in their mail box, obligation, curiosity
• Why audience continues reading?
– How do they read it?
• Location  state your point quickly
• Pace  keep it short

Establishing Your Constraints: Mechanics
– Follow the rules of punctuation and grammar
– Errors receive more attention than in a report
– Errors cost credibility
• i.e. job application
– Suggestions:
• Allow correspondence to cool before final proof
• Make final proof next morning
• Makes it easier to catch unwanted tone

Selecting Your Stylistic Tools
– Organization of details
– Emphasis
– Clarity
– Forthrightness

Organization
• Beginning
• Determines whether the audience will continue reading
• Get to the point as soon as possible
• Middle
• Delivery of the information
• Information must help make your point
• Ending
• Summary of the information presented
• Presents a call for action: State what the audience must do

Styles (continued)
• Emphasis
• Accent important details:
• Place important details in first or last sentence due to white space
• Clarity
• Audience reads correspondence faster than other documents
• Pace is important
• Opt for shorter sentences than in a report
• Forthrightness
• Tone is difficult to control. Avoid sounding arrogant.
• Use simple language, plain English
• Do no use phrases such as “per your request”, “enclosed please
find”.

Summary
• Keep in mind your constraints (Audience, mechanics)
• Structure
– Organization of details
– Depth of details depends on audience
– Emphasis
Forthright
Concise
Familiar
Fluid
Precise Clear
• State your point right away
• Use plain English
• State your point right away

Writing Proposals
by Michael Alley
prepared by Yirong Yang, M.S.

Writing Proposals: Overview
• Difficulties
– Difficult to give specific advice about writing proposals
– Difficult to write proposals
• Constraints of Proposals
– Format of Proposals
– Politics of Proposals
– Audiences of Proposals
• Style of Proposals
– Problem Statement
– Proposed Solution

Difficulties of writing proposals
• Difficult to give specific advice about writing
proposals
– Format: From thousand-page reports to one-page forms
– Audience: Clients bent on solving a specific problem or audiences who
are unaware that a problem even exists
– Writing situations: some are Individually written, others are
collaborative efforts
– Subject matter of proposals varies greatly
• Difficult to write proposals
– Image a solution to a problem and write about that imaginary solution
– Primary purpose of proposals : persuading

Constraints of Proposals
• Format of Proposals
– Most unsolicited proposals left to your discretion
– Most solicited proposals are defined in great detail
The layout and typography
The length and order of information
The names of the headings and subheadings
Failure to comply with the format results in the proposals being
excluded from consideration
– The reasons why are the formats so specifically defined
Guidelines to evaluate all incoming proposals
See whether the submitters can follow directions

Politics of Proposals
• Variables outside the quality of the proposal ideas and the quality with
which those ideas are presented
– What kinds of projects is Washington funding this year?
– Is collaboration between companies, laboratories, or universities an
advantage or disadvantage?
– How important are issues such as experience or geographical region?
• What to do before committing your time and resources to the
proposals
– Carefully read the request for proposal
– Call the contact person if you have questions
– Honestly evaluate yourself and your ideas against the likely competition
– Look at the success of your proposals in terms of the proposals that you
write over several years
– The effort spent on writing one proposal often carries over to the writing
of other proposals

Audiences of Proposals
• The typical audience for proposals:
– The management audience who reviews proposals from the
perspectives of time and money
– The technical audience who reviews proposals from the
perspectives of science and engineering
• Address both audiences
– Put yourself in your readers’ positions
– Know the answers to the following questions:
Who the readers are
Why the readers have requested the proposal
The level of detail that you should present in your
proposal
How the audience will evaluate the proposal

Style of Proposals
• The organization for proposals consists
essentially of two parts
– The first part presents a hole (a statement of the problem) that
needs to be filled
– The second part is the piece (the proposed plan) that fits into the
hole
– The relationship of the original problem to the proposed solution
establishes the organization

Problem Statement
– Show the writer understands the problem
– Make the audience aware of how important the problem is
Proposed solution
– Answer the questions that the audience has after reading the statement of the problem
 What is the proposed solution?
 Present the scope and limitations of your solution
 Does the solution make sense from a technical perspective?
 Address the technical audience and discuss how you will solve the problem
 Does the solution make sense from a management perspective?
 The cost of the solution
 The schedule for the solution
 The effect of the solution on the environment
 The effect of the solution on the safety and health of those people involved
 Can the person making the proposal carry out the solution?
 Show that you are qualified for the task
--- your qualification
--- your experience
--- your resources
– What about the situation in which the proposals do compete directly with one another on the
same problem?
 The reviewers focus on finding the best solution to the stated problem
 Consider the solutions of your competition when shaping your arguments

• “ If I had my life to do over again, I would have
written half a dozen proposals before I got my
PhD” -----Michael Reed, Professor, Department
of Electrical Engineering, Carnegie-Mellon
University
Let us do it right now!
Would you have Any Questions?

Writing Instructions
by Michael Alley
By Vidhya Srinivasan
BioE 595

INTRODUCTION
Purpose
- Teach people how to perform a process
Importance
- Money, time and health depend on the quality of
instructions

A few examples
• If the specifications for the turbine blade are unclear,
the engineer will have to resubmit the job.
• If the software manual is disorganized, users of the
program will waste time searching for commands.
• If the safety precautions for handling the toxic
chemical are ambiguous, someone might become ill.

Constraints of Instructions
Audience
- Why are instructions read?
- How are instructions read?
Format
- affected by the audience.
- tailored to make it easier for the audience to read
the instructions and follow them simultaneously.

Constraints…
- Audience interested in how the process occurs, not
what causes it to occur
- Strategy formulated after anticipating the information
that the reader desires and making it easy to find.
- Some examples include
Detailed table of contents and index in a computer
manual; medical procedures and first aid
information in a lab safety manual.

Format
- different from an article or a report
- enable audience to read and work
simultaneously
- include numbered steps separated by white
spaces to allow readers to find their places
- lengths vary from single phrase cautions to
thick handbooks
- contain glaring, not-to-be missed typography
and illustrations with text supplements.

Style of Instructions
• Structure
– Information organized into beginning, middle and
ending.
– Beginning includes a title, summary and
introduction.
Title
 Title-indicates that the document is a set of
instructions and what process is being explained.
 It could be a participial phrase such as “Using a Hot
Wire Probe” or a keyword such as “How to” or
“Instructions for”.
Summary
 Summary is usually descriptive rather than
informative

Introduction
Introduction answers the questions the
audience might have before they start
reading the instructions.
What is the process?
Why is it important?
What is needed to perform the process?
How will the process be explained?

Middle
- Presents the information needed to perform a process
- Single step by step explanation or a Series of steps
- Single step by step
1. Start at the beginning and continue through to its
end.
2. Example - changing a tire
- Series of steps
1. process divided into logical sections and
subsections.
2.some steps performed by all readers, many steps
performed by only some readers
3. example - running a computer program.

Ending
- summarizes the process by showing the inter-
relation of steps
- gives a future perspective on the process
Language
- often written in second person as ‘you’
- Written in imperative mode
- “Cautions” written in highlighted type
- Emphasis on Clarity

“To set up tic tac toe, take out the game board and
lie flat on a hard surface.Now, take out the two
marking pens and divide them equally between the
two opponents.Now, toss a coin in the air and have
one player call either heads or tails. Play continues
until someone is declared a winner”

How to play Three Dimensional Tic-Tac-
Toe?
• Summary-explains
-The game board
- Rules for Play
- Winning strategies
• Introduction
- What is Three Dimensional Tic-Tac-Toe
- Who can play?
- What is needed to play?
- How do you view the game board?

Tic-Tac-Toe
Middle
- Step by Step Instructions
- Setting up the game
- Playing the game
- Determining a winner

Tic-Tac-Toe
Conclusion
- Summary of Game
- Variations on Game
- Winning Strategies

Illustrations
-People learn a process by seeing a process
-Goal is to find perspectives that allow the audience
to understand the process
-Illustrations should serve the document
-Superfluous illustrations can confuse the reader

Conclusion
The disastrous charge of the light brigade at
Balaclava was made because of a carelessly worded
order to ‘charge for the guns’-meaning that some
British guns which were in an exposed position
should be hauled out of reach of the enemy, not that
the Russian Batteries should be charged. But even
in the calmest of times,it is often difficult to
compose an English sentence that cannot be
possibly misunderstood.

Chapter 15: Preparing Presentations
Prepared by Antonio Olivo
BioE 595

Motivation: Why even make presentations? Why not just
present the information in a document and distribute it?
Cost in salaries of
audience
Cost in time for
presentation
Cost in time to
prepare
presentation
Presentations are expensive

What are some considerations in deciding to
verbally communicate?
Advantages of
presentations
• Work can come alive for
audience
• Presenter can read and
react to audience interest
• Presenter receives
instant reaction
Disadvantages of
presentations
• Speaker has a limited
chance to catch errors
• Audience cannot reread
text
• Audience cannot look up
background material

Presentations can be viewed
from three stylistic perspectives
Structure and
Speech
Delivery
Archives, Cal-Tech
Supply plenums for each liner panel allow
for independent flow control
Visual Aids

B
e
g
i
n
n
i
n
g
E
n
d
i
n
g
Middle
Structure: As with documents, the structure of presentations
should have clear beginnings, middles, and ends
Beginnings prepare
the audience
for the work to be
presented
The middle presents
the work in a logical
order
In the middle, you
make smooth
transitions between
major points
The ending summarizes
main points and places
those results in the context
of the big picture

Audiences remember more when you
use well-designed slides
10 20 30 40 50 60
Recall (%)
Hear
and See
See
Hear

Headline
Body
Recommended here is a sentence-headline design
that quickly orients the audience
The sentence headline succinctly states
the main assertion of the slide
Body supports
with words
Body supports
with images
compressor
combustor
turbine

Delivery is the speaker’s interaction with the
audience-you have several choices for how you
deliver your speech
Memorizing the Speech
+ allows eye contact
- difficult for long speeches
- room for precision errors
- no room for improvising
Reading From a Text
+ ensures precision
- does not sound natural
- no room for improvising
- hinders eye contact
Winging It
+ sounds natural
- has much room for error
Speaking From Slides
+ insures organization
+ allows eye contact
+ allows improvising
- some room for error

Cal-Tech
Stage Presence
Voice
AIP Movement
Cal-Tech
In summary, you can improve by practicing and
by critiquing the presentations of others

Chapter 16: Format: Dressing Document
for Success
Prepared by Samer Al Kork

Format: Dressing Document for Success
Printing should be invisible. Type well-used is
invisible as type. The mental eye focuses
through type and not upon it , so that any type
has an access in design, anything that gets in
the way of the mental picture to be conveyed,
is bad type.
Beatrice
Warde

Outline
• Formatting decisions.
• Typography of Documents.
• Choices for Typography.
• Layout of the Documents.

Format Decisions
• When we create a document on a computer , we
are faced with many formatting decisions:
1-Choosing a type face to selecting the amount of white space that
precedes a heading
2-Choosing a format easy to read that is in character with the
document you have written
3-Choosing a format that presents your work in such a way that
most important details stand out

Typography of Documents
Typestyle Characters Type Uses
Antigua abcdefghijklmnopqrstuv
wwxyz
serif Corresponds reports
Palatino abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvw
wxy
serif Corresponds reports,
articles, reports
Times abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvw
wxy
serif Corresponds articles
Typography is that part of format that deals with
the choice and the size of typestyles. A typestyle
(font) is a shaped set of alphabetic letters.
Example:
Typestyle Characters Type Uses
Arial Narrow abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwwxyz Sans serif Illustrations, visual
headings
Helvetica abcdefghijklmnopqrstuv
wwxy
Sans serif Illustrations, visual
headings
Optima abcdefghijklmnopqr
stuvwwxy
Sans serif Illustrations, visual
headings

Typography
• Typestyle of a document says a lot about the
document. For instance the font conveys a
sense of professionalism and authority. The are
two type of font serif and sans serif.
• Serif fonts have project stokes such as a little
feet on a serif “m”.
• Sans serif fonts don’t have these projecting
strokes “m”

Choices for Typography
• In choosing a typography, you want to consider the
subject matter, occasion, and the audience.
1-Do not use to many typestyles in a document.
2-Rely on serif fonts for the text of the documents
3-Be conservative with the options such as boldface and italics.
4-Use a size that is appropriate for the occasion.
5- Avoid typography that adds needless complexity.

Layout of the Documents
• Layout is the arrangement of the words on the
page, from number of columns, the spacing
between lines, and the width of the margins.
1- Consider subject matter and audience in layout decisions.
2- Be generous with white space.
3- Choose a hierarchy for the headings and subheadings

Professor Recommendations
• Always use formatted styles.
• Do not hand format the text headline
• Use a table for operations and automatic
variables
• Use numbering for tables , figures and
references

Chapter 17: Actually Sitting Down to Write
Prepared by Molly Reiter

Actually Sitting Down to Write
“The writing aspect of scientific research is
exhausting… I have rewritten many parts of
papers four to six times, restructuring the
entire organization, before I finally became
satisfied.”
-Hermann Helmholtz

Actually Sitting Down to Write
I. Scientific Writing: Getting Started
II. Getting in the Writing Mood
III. Writing the First Draft
IV. Avoiding Writer’s Block
V. Revising, Revising, Revising

• Scientific Writing
– Convey complex ideas and images
– Endless revisions
– Solitary confinement
• How do you get started?
– Need a topic
– Understand your constraints
– Just do it

• Topic
– Idea and plot for a paper or proposal
– Results from your work
• Constraints
– Audience
• What they know about the work
• Why they will read the document
• How they will read the document
– Format
• Length
• Organization

II. Getting in the Writing Mood
• Clear your mind
– Exercise
– Sleep
• Free a block of time
– No interruptions
– White noise (i.e. instrumental music)
• Mentally prepare and focus on your goal

• First draft is most difficult
• Be realistic – months of work will take some time
to finish the document
• Brainstorm ideas
• Make an outline
– Detail makes a strong outline
– Parts of sentences interspersed among the details
– Solicit feedback

Example Outline
Title: Using Solid Particle Receivers in Solar Central Receiver Designs
Audience: The principal audience is DOE headquarters. They have a
general knowledge about solar central receivers, but do not know
about solid particle research.
Introduction: This report will discuss using solid particples as the heat
transfer medium in a solar central receiver. Requirements for such a
heat transfer medium include:
1. Withstand temps up to 800 degrees
2. Convective losses from medium must not be too high.
Methods:
Discussion:

Style: Rabbit vs. Turtle
Rabbits
– Write down anything and everything
– Strap themselves in front of a computer and finish their drafts as
quickly as possible
– Put ideas in a document and are in a position ready to revise
Turtles
– Will not write down a sentence until it is perfect
– Revises from the beginning of the document every time
– The beginning and middle is smooth because it has been
revised so many times

• Where to start?
– Summary
– Introduction
– Methodology
– Discussion
– Conclusion
• Write a descriptive summary first and write an
informative summary last
• Write the Introduction as a Rabbit
• Write the Discussion and Conclusions as a Turtle

• Tips from professional writers
– Set realistic goals
– End your sittings by writing into the next section
– Watch what you eat
– When you finish a draft save it on your computer as a separate
file (i.e., version 2)
• The key is momentum – don’t lose your train of
thought

IV. Avoiding Writer’s Block
• What is Writer’s Block?
– Can’t think of the right word
– Can’t find the sentences to express an idea
– You hear critical voices
• How can you avoid Writer’s Block?
– Choose a word or sentence even if you aren’t completely satisfied and
make a note to go back to it later
– Turn up music to drown out critical voices
• In Scientific Writing there is no such thing as Writer’s
Block
– Results and background is there
– Just need to get the information written up!

• Revision is the key to strong scientific writing
• A common misconception is that great writers do
not revise
• Successful writing is the result of working hard at
revisions not in conjuring magic in the first draft
• Give yourself some distance from your writing
and them come back to revise

• Some revising techniques:
– Change the look of your document when you revise (hard copy)
– Try to work through large chunks in one sitting
– Get some distance between each revision
– Solicit criticism of your writing
– Check equations and references separately
• Work hard until the end
– Don’t let up at the end of the document
– Watch the details (spell checker, numbering figures)
• Enough is enough
– At some point you will need to be finished
– There is no perfection in writing

Conclusion
• Scientific writing is hard work
• Different techniques work for different people
• With each document you write, you will improve
• Set realistic goals for yourself
• Don’t expect satisfaction from writing to come
from other people

A Short Course on Scientific Writing.ppt

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