Kathryn Sosbe of the U.S. Department of Agriculture presented this training on writing and editing tips for the Federal Communicators Network event on storytelling on October 30, 2014. FCN makes better government writers and editors!

1. OR HOW TO FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING IT
REALLY IS
KATHRYN SCHNEIDER SOSBE

2. WARNINGS
If examples used are yours, don’t say anything.
No one will know you wrote it.
Laugh at the mistakes. Some are funny.
But in the end, learn from them.
Remember, when you return to work somebody will tell you, ‘No.’
Keep trying anyway.

3. ”If writing seems
hard,
it’s because it is hard.
It’s one of the
hardest things people
– William Zinsser, author of “Ond Worit.i”ng
Well”

4. WE WANT OUR
WRITING, LIKE
SELFIES, TO
SHOW OUR
INNER AND
OUTER BEAUTY.

5. IN REALITY, WE ARE
SOMETIMES
SURPRISED WHEN WE
SEE WHAT WE HAVE
CREATED.

6. HOW DO YOU BECOME A GREAT WRITER?
• READ
• WRITE
• OBSERVE
• CHALLENGE YOURSELF
• CHALLENGE OTHERS
• NEVER, EVER STOP
TRYING

7. READING CAN HELP MAKE YOU A STRONGER WRITER
IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO READ,
YOU DON’T HAVE THE TIME —
OR THE TOOLS —
TO WRITE.
SIMPLE AS THAT.
STEPHEN KING

8. 10 STEPS TO BECOMING A BETTER WRITER
WRITE.
WRITE MORE.
WRITE EVEN MORE.
WRITE EVEN MORE THAN THAT.
WRITE WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO.
WRITE WHEN YOU DO.
WRITE WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO
SAY.
WRITE WHEN YOU DON’T.
WRITE EVERY DAY.
KEEP WRITING.
BRIAN
CLARK

9. CHALLENGE YOURSELF, OTHERS
BE ORIGINAL
BE CONSCIENTIOUS
BE EXCUSE FREE
BE PART OF A TEAM
BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE
– THEN FIND WAYS TO BE EVEN
BETTER
BE READY TO FAIL BUT ALWAYS GET BACK
UP

10. NEVER, EVER STOP TRYING

11. WHAT IS GOOD WRITING?
 READER DRIVEN
 PURPOSEFUL
LOGICALLY
ORGANIZED
 GRAMMATICALLY
CORRECT
 INTERESTING
 EFFECTIVE
“Prose is
architecture, not
interior decoration.”
Ernest Hemingway

12. GOOD OR BAD?

13. FEDERAL REGISTER NOTICE SUMMARY
WE ARE AMENDING THE REGULATIONS CONCERNING THE IMPORTATION OF
CITRUS FRUIT TO REMOVE CERTAIN RESTRICTIONS ON THE IMPORTATION OF
UNSHU ORANGES FROM JAPAN. SPECIFICALLY, WE ARE REMOVING REQUIREMENTS
FOR THE FRUIT TO BE GROWN IN SPECIFIED CANKER-FREE EXPORT AREAS WITH
BUFFER ZONES AND FOR JOINT INSPECTION IN THE GROVES AND PACKINGHOUSES
BY THE GOVERNMENT OF JAPAN AND THE ANIMAL AND PLANT HEALTH
INSPECTION SERVICE. WE ARE ALSO CLARIFYING THAT SURFACE STERILIZATION OF
THE FRUIT MUST BE CONDUCTED IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR REGULATIONS.
FINALLY, WE ARE REQUIRING THAT EACH SHIPMENT BE ACCOMPANIED BY A
PHYTOSANITARY CERTIFICATE CONTAINING AN ADDITIONAL DECLARATION
STATING THAT THE FRUIT WAS GIVEN THE REQUIRED SURFACE STERILIZATION.
THESE CHANGES WILL MAKE THE REGULATIONS CONCERNING THE IMPORTATION
OF UNSHU ORANGES FROM JAPAN CONSISTENT WITH OUR DOMESTIC
REGULATIONS CONCERNING THE INTERSTATE MOVEMENT OF CITRUS FRUIT FROM
AREAS QUARANTINED BECAUSE OF CITRUS CANKER.

14. FEDERAL REGISTER NOTICE SUMMARY
THE DEPARTMENT OF VETERANS AFFAIRS (VA) AMENDS ITS ADJUDICATION REGULATIONS AND THE
APPEALS REGULATIONS AND RULES OF PRACTICE OF THE BOARD OF VETERANS' APPEALS (BOARD) TO
REQUIRE THAT ALL CLAIMS GOVERNED BY VA'S ADJUDICATION REGULATIONS BE FILED ON STANDARD
FORMS PRESCRIBED BY THE SECRETARY, REGARDLESS OF THE TYPE OF CLAIM OR POSTURE IN WHICH
THE CLAIM ARISES. THIS RULEMAKING ALSO ELIMINATES THE CONSTRUCTIVE RECEIPT OF VA REPORTS
OF HOSPITALIZATION The purpose OR EXAMINATION of these AND OTHER amendments MEDICAL RECORDS is
AS INFORMAL CLAIMS FOR
INCREASE OR TO REOPEN WHILE RETAINING THE RETROACTIVE EFFECTIVE DATE ASSIGNMENT FOR
AWARDS FOR CLAIMS to improve FOR INCREASE the WHICH quality ARE FILED and ON timeliness
A STANDARD FORM WITHIN 1 YEAR OF
SUCH HOSPITALIZATION, of the processing EXAMINATION, OR of TREATMENT. veterans' THIS claims
FINAL RULE ALSO IMPLEMENTS THE
CONCEPT OF AN INTENT TO FILE A CLAIM FOR BENEFITS, WHICH OPERATES SIMILARLY TO THE
CURRENT INFORMAL for benefits CLAIM PROCESS, by BUT standardizing REQUIRES THAT THE the
SUBMISSION ESTABLISHING A
CLAIMANT'S EFFECTIVE claims DATE and OF appeals BENEFITS MUST processes BE RECEIVED through
IN ONE OF THREE SPECIFIED FORMATS.
FINALLY, THESE AMENDMENTS WILL PROVIDE THAT VA WILL ACCEPT AN EXPRESSION OF
DISSATISFACTION the OR use DISAGREEMENT of forms.
WITH AN ADJUDICATIVE DETERMINATION BY THE AGENCY OF
ORIGINAL JURISDICTION(AOJ) AS A NOTICE OF DISAGREEMENT (NOD) ONLY IF IT IS SUBMITTED ON A
STANDARDIZED FORM PROVIDED BY VA FOR THE PURPOSE OF APPEALING THE DECISION, IN CASES
WHERE SUCH A FORM IS PROVIDED. ALTHOUGH A STANDARDIZED NOD FORM WILL ONLY INITIALLY BE
PROVIDED IN CONNECTION WITH DECISIONS ON COMPENSATION CLAIMS, VA MAY REQUIRE A
STANDARD NOD FORM FOR ANY TYPE OF CLAIM FOR VA BENEFITS IF, IN THE FUTURE, IT DEVELOPS
AND PROVIDES A STANDARDIZED NOD FORM FOR A PARTICULAR BENEFIT. THE PURPOSE OF THESE
AMENDMENTS IS TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY AND TIMELINESS OF THE PROCESSING OF VETERANS'
CLAIMS FOR BENEFITS BY STANDARDIZING THE CLAIMS AND APPEALS PROCESSES THROUGH THE USE

15. OVERSIGHT AND ACCOUNTABILITY
TARP HAS BEEN SUBJECTED TO UNPRECEDENTED OVERSIGHT SINCE ITS INCEPTION. THE
EMERGENCY ECONOMIC STABILIZATION ACT OF 2008 (EESA) GAVE OVERSIGHT AUTHORITY TO
FOUR SEPARATE ENTITIES: THE FINANCIAL STABILITY OVERSIGHT BOARD (FINSOB);
THE GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY OFFICE (GAO); THE SPECIAL INSPECTOR GENERAL FOR
TARP (SIGTARP); AND THE CONGRESSIONAL OVERSIGHT PANEL (COP), WHICH CEASED
OPERATIONS ON APRIL 3, 2011, AS REQUIRED BY EESA.
TREASURY COOPERATES WITH EACH OVERSIGHT BODY'S EFFORTS TO REVIEW TARP PROGRAMS
AND TO PRODUCE PERIODIC AUDITS AND REPORTS. ON AVERAGE, TREASURY RESPONDS TO
APPROXIMATELY 84 REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION PER MONTH (MORE THAN 4 PER BUSINESS
DAY) BY THESE ENTITIES. AS OF MAY 31, 2012, TREASURY HAS RESPONDED TO 100 REPORTS
FROM GAO, COP, AND SIGTARP; AND TREASURY HAS PARTICIPATED IN AT
LEAST 35 CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS ON TARP. INDIVIDUALLY AND COLLECTIVELY, THE WORK
PERFORMED BY TARP'S OVERSIGHT BODIES HAS MADE AND CONTINUES TO MAKE IMPORTANT
CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE DEVELOPMENT, STRENGTHENING AND TRANSPARENCY OF TARP
PROGRAMS. TREASURY WELCOMES THIS OVERSIGHT AND, TO DATE, HAS ADOPTED 154
RECOMMENDATIONS MADE BY THESE OVERSIGHT BODIES.

19. WRITING IS A MULTI-STEP PROCESS
“Prose is architecture,
not interior decoration.”
Ernest
Hemingway

20. 1 RESEARCH
DECIDE TOPIC
2 3
TOPIC
6 5 4
7 8 9
ORGANIZE
NOTES
WRITE FIRST
DRAFT
REVISE DRAFT READ DRAFT
EDIT DRAFT FINAL PROOF PUBLISH

21. BEFORE YOU WRITE
• DETERMINE YOUR PURPOSE
• DETERMINE YOUR AUDIENCE
• GATHER PERTINENT FACTS
• INTERVIEW SUBJECT MATTER EXPERTS
• GATHER VISUALS
• ORGANIZE YOUR NOTES – DARE I SAY
OUTLINE?

22. THE CASE FOR OUTLINES
O
R

23. ORGANIZE YOUR NOTES TO FIT YOUR STYLE
• KNOW THE ELEMENTS OF YOUR
PRODUCT. WILL THERE BE CHAPTERS,
SECTIONS, HEADERS, ETC.?
• WHAT WILL ELEMENTS INCLUDE?
• WHAT IS IN THE BODY, WHAT IS AN
APPENDIX?
• WHAT WILL BE A GRAPHIC OR
PHOTOGRAPH?

24. VISUAL OUTLINES – MIND MAPPING

26. START WRITING
• RELAX – LOWER YOUR STANDARDS
FOR THE FIRST DRAFT
• AVOID INTERRUPTIONS
• SET GOALS
• DON’T ALWAYS START WITH THE
OPENING PARAGRAPH, EXECUTIVE
SUMMARY OR FORWARD.
• CONSIDER WRITING A SECTION AT A
TIME. DURING REVISIONS YOU CAN
WORK TO CONNECT THOSE
SECTIONS
• DISPENSE WITH THE NOTION THAT
IT MUST BE PERFECT

27. TRY THESE TIPS
8 GOOD WRITING PRACTICES BY NEIL GAIMAN (EDITED)
• WRITE.
• PUT ONE WORD AFTER ANOTHER. FIND THE RIGHT WORD, PUT IT DOWN.
• FINISH WHAT YOU'RE WRITING. WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO FINISH IT,
FINISH IT.
• PUT IT ASIDE. READ IT PRETENDING YOU’VE NEVER READ IT BEFORE. SHOW
IT TO FRIENDS WHOSE OPINION YOU RESPECT AND WHO LIKE THE KIND OF
THING THAT THIS IS.
• REMEMBER: WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU SOMETHING’S WRONG OR DOESN'T
WORK FOR THEM, THEY ARE ALMOST ALWAYS RIGHT. WHEN THEY TELL YOU
EXACTLY WHAT THEY THINK IS WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT, THEY ARE
ALMOST ALWAYS WRONG.
• FIX IT. REMEMBER THAT, SOONER OR LATER, BEFORE IT EVER REACHES
PERFECTION, YOU WILL HAVE TO LET IT GO AND MOVE ON AND START TO
WRITE THE NEXT THING. PERFECTION IS LIKE CHASING THE HORIZON. KEEP
MOVING.
• LAUGH AT YOUR OWN JOKES.
WRITING PRACTICES ADDENDUM BY KATHRYN SOSBE
• TRY WRITING WITHOUT NOTES FIRST. THE IMPORTANT IDEAS WILL COME
OUT FIRST – OR BAD ONES WILL BE HIGHLIGHTED
• VISUALIZE YOUR PROSE. TAKE PHOTOS. DRAW PICTURES. DO AN
INTERPRETIVE DANCE.
• YOU ARE NOT WRITING FOR YOUR BOSS OR CONGRESS. YOU ARE WRITING
FOR THE PUBLIC – UNLESS YOU ARE ONLY WRITING FOR YOUR BOSS OR
CONGRESS.
• STOP MAKING EXCUSES.

28. REVISE
TAKE A BREAK: GIVE YOUR WRITING AND BRAIN BREATHING ROOM.
FRESH AIR IS BEST.
CHOOSE YOUR METHOD: ONSCREEN OR PRINTED PAPER – BUT
ALWAYS READ IT
CONCENTRATE: FIND A QUIET SPACE OR SLIP ON HEADPHONES
TAKE YOUR TIME: RUSHING MEANS
MISSED ERRORS
CHECK FOR:
• FLOW
• CLARITY
• MESSAGE
• LOGIC
SEND DOCUMENT TO GROUP/
SUPERVISOR INPUT. KEEP VERSIONS.
KEEP WHAT WORKS.

29. SELF EDIT
TAKE A BREAK: GIVE YOUR WRITING AND BRAIN BREATHING ROOM.
FRESH AIR IS BEST.
CHOOSE YOUR METHOD: ONSCREEN OR PRINTED PAPER – BUT
ALWAYS READ IT
CONCENTRATE: FIND A QUIET SPACE OR SLIP ON HEADPHONES
TAKE YOUR TIME: RUSHING MEANS
MISSED ERRORS
CHECK FOR:
• FLOW
• CLARITY
• MESSAGE
• LOGIC
SEND DOCUMENT TO GROUP/SUPERVISOR FOR THEIR EDITS. KEEP
VERSIONS.

30. PROOFREAD
AFTER CONSIDERING GROUP EDITS AND MAKING REVISIONS BASED
ON INPUT, IT’S TIME TO PROOFREAD:
CHECK:
• SPELLING
• FACTS
• TITLES
• REFERENCES
• CONSISTENCY IN DESIGN
DO IT AT LEAST TWICE
TIP: READ BACKWARDS STARTING FROM THE BOTTOM. FORCES
YOUR EYE AND BRAIN TO SLOW DOWN

31. EDITING OTHERS
• READ, DON’T SCAN, ONCE
WITHOUT EDITING
• BEGIN EDITS ON SECOND READ
• BE KIND YET DIRECT
• OFFER SPECIFIC ADVICE, NOT
CRITICISM OR QUESTIONS
• WRITER VOICE OR BAD
WRITING? CHOOSE SUBSTANCE
OVER STYLE

32. WRITING EMAILS, PART 1
• SUBJECT LINE: MAKE ME WANT TO OPEN IT. DON’T
WRITE: CIO SECURITY NEWS. SAY WHAT YOU
MEAN: YOUR COMPUTER ACCESS WILL END SOON
• TO: EXPECTED TO TAKE ACTION.
• CC: NOT EXPECTED TAKE ACTION UNLESS THEY
DESIRE. HOT TIP: NEVER WRITE THE NAME OF THE
RECIPIENTS UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE WRITTEN AND
EDITED YOUR EMAIL.
• BCC: USE TO PREVENT EMAIL BOOMERANG. ADD
THE NOTE “DO NOT FORWARD – YOU ARE PART
OF A GROUP EMAIL.” DO NOT SAY, “SHARE WITH
YOUR NETWORK.”
• ATTACHMENTS: DON’T DO IT UNLESS
IMPERATIVE.

33. WRITING EMAILS, PART 2
• BODY OF MESSAGE:
• GET TO THE MAIN POINT IN THE FIRST OR SECOND
SENTENCE; DON’T WASTE THE RECIPIENTS TIME
• DON’T USE ALL CAPS OR ALL LOWER CASE. WRITE
PROFESSIONALLY
• YOU ARE SENDING EMAIL, NOT TEXT. SPELL
CORRECTLY
• CONSIDER BULLET POINTS
• CONSIDER LANGUAGE
• MIND YOUR MANNERS
• CONSIDER NOT SENDING THE EMAIL
• NEVER REPLY UNLESS YOU SAY SOMETHING OF
VALUE
• END YOUR EMAIL WITH AN APPROPRIATE SIGNATURE
VOID OF PHOTOS OF YOURSELF, QUOTES OR CUTE
SAYINGS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR
JOB, UNNECESSARY ART OR GRAPHICS

34. People who are unable
to motivate themselves
must be content with
mediocrity, no matter how
impressive
their other talents.
Andrew
Carnegie

35. WRITING AND EDITING RESOURCES ONLINE
• WWW.DAILYWRITINGTIPS.COM/
• WWW.QUICKANDDIRTYTIPS.COM/
• WWW.QUICKANDDIRTYTIPS.COM/GRAMMA
R-GIRL
• WWW.PLAINLANGUAGE.GOV/
• WWW.POYNTER.ORG/CATEGORY/HOW-TOS/
• VISUAL.MERRIAM-WEBSTER.COM/

36. RECOMMENDED READING

37. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND PATIENCE
CONTACT INFORMATION:
KGSOSBE@FS.FED.US
KATHRYN.SOSBE@GMAIL.COM