1. Single and Loving It!
A Different Perspective on Single Life
by Erin A. Alexander, LPC
2. What Does it Mean to be “Single”?
There can be a number of definitions:
● Unmarried
● Divorced
● Widowed
● Unattached
● Not in a committed relationship
● What other definitions have you heard of? What are your perceptions? Are
your perceptions negative or positive?
4. Let’s Explore the Definition of Selfish
● Disagreeable person
● Unpleasant person
● Dog in the manger
● Egocentric
● Self-centered
● Exploiter
● User
● Opportunist
● Monopolizer
● Inconsiderate
● Acting to achieve what is good for
you
● Actions directed to make you
happy
● Acting in your best interest
● Assertively asking for what you
want
5. In reality, a selfish person from a psychological
perspective has these qualities:
Generosity, Consideration for others, Benevolence, Open-mindedness,
Humanity, and Positive regard for others
6. So, think about all of the single people that
you know; do they fit in to the negatively
conceptualized definitions? Or are they
more accurately described by some of the
more positve characteristics?
7. How Does This Relate to the “Single Lifestyle”, Per Se?
I’ve decided that I do not want to figure out any of the nuances that are
involved in a relationship with anyone. I want to be emotionally, financially,
and socially independent. I want to be responsible for my own happiness, and I
don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s. I want to be able to set
boundaries for myself; I want to be able to say ‘no’ without explanation. I want
to be able to make decisions on my own without having to consult with
someone else. I want to have the freedom to go where I want and do what I
want, whenever I want, without having to explain myself to a partner.
Sounds very selfish, doesn’t it?
8. Relationships are Work!
Take a look at the following list of things to consider when
considering a long-term relationship:
Do you share the same values (honesty, loyalty, trust, respect, etc)?
Do you have similar goals with regards to your future?
Do you both want children and are your parenting styles congruent?
Do you have the same socioeconomic background ?
Is your educational level relatively similar?
9. The List Continues….
Do you have the same political views?
Do you have the same religious views?
Do you agree on financial matters?
Are you outgoing or not very social? Which do you prefer in a partner?
Do you and your partner share the same health/fitness values?
Do both parties share the same values regarding the division of labor?
Do both parties agree on sexual matters?
What are the values related to extended family?
Are your personalities compatible?
10. What are the Societal Images of Couples and Relationships? Does This Align
With Your Perception and Values?
