DNC TIMES February 2016 - Love

of distortedlove.
God's love reflected in the life of human persons
in loving one another is a self- emptying, self-giving, and
self-enlarging experience of mercy which ends in self-
discovery. When we move away from this self-
discovering journey of truth which is guided and led by
Jesus himself, we are on the way to become things, not
human persons. Glory of God is human being fully alive.
Experience of being human with love, care, mercy, and
compassion will certainly affect every sight of ours to see
the suffering of the people
around us, every hearing of
ours to listen to the cry of
the poor, and every speech
of ours to give voice for the
voiceless, every heart of
ours to feel solidarity with
t h e p o o r a n d t h e
marginalized, and every
hand of us to act against
injustice in collaboration
with others. Love changes everything and it needs our
committed response. Are we ready to respond to the
Christiancalltoloveuntilithurts?
th
As 14 February marks the Valentine's Day, this
issue on the theme of love tries to explicate the meaning
of love from different perspectives. The writers tried
their level best to rehabilitate the distorted
st
understandings of love influenced by the 21 century of
technological dominations with their philosophical and
theological insights and reflections. This issue brings to
the readers a comprehensive and holistic understanding
of love. Let our prayers in the Lenten season be, “I
wandered far away from Love, now I am coming
home.”
st
(Martin is a 1 year theologian at JDV)
oving God in one's own neighbor is the most
challenging Christian imperative in today's
Lworld of globalization where money seems to
rule the world and not God. Monotheism seems to be
overtaken by money-theism and we are drawn into a
situation where money replaced the inter-personal
relationships of love. The place of God's love in our
neighbours seems to shrink in the world and it resulted in
the new alphabets, namely Abortion, Bribe,
Communalism, Divorce, Ecological degradation,
Fanaticism etc. In a subtle
way the power of money
lulls the conscience of the
people and makes their
attitudes indifferent to
things, other human
persons and even God.
Economic prosperity
o c c a s i o n s s p i r i t u a l
bankruptcy of the people.
The meaning of love has
been distorted to a large extent of loving things and using
peopleinsteadof using thingsandlovingpeople.
Besides, the phenomenon of modernity which
fostered individual freedom deprived the human persons
of the traditions which had incorporated values of love
and mercy.As a result individuals became free to value or
disvalue any choice, any attitude, any object, and any
human person. We love and value somebody as long as
they are useful.At the same time, we are also confronted
by others with their freedom to value or disvalue us.
Hence we tend to pretend to be an idol for someone else,
because we need others in order to be valued. At this
juncture, we think that we don't have any inherent value,
hence we become things. The distortion of love resulted
in the distortion of human person by reducing him/her to
mere things. It is high time we rehabilitate the meaning
02 February 2016February 2016
Martin, SJ
The EditorialThe Editorial

everything for Paul and after his conversion he was lost
inproclaimingJesus.
When we think of our parents, we are reminded
of their love without measure. The altruistic love of
parents makes a difference in the lives of their children.
We do hear these days failures in relationships and
breakdown in marriages. Rupture takes place when a
person begins to think what more can I get from my
beloved than what more can I offer to the beloved.
Relationships are severed when the other fails to be the
focusof one's life.
I believe that every letter
o f t h e w o r d L O V E
beautifully explains the
deeper significance of
LOVE.
L–Large Heartedness:
When someone falls in love
there is an exchange. It
affects their heart which
leads them to create a space
for the other in oneself.
Hence one's heart is
enlarged. As a consequence, the lover will tell the
beloved“Iamreadytodoanythingforyou!”
O – Offering: The desire to do something for the other is
manifested in offering of one's time, energy, and in some
cases even life for the other. It makes us prioritize our
ideas and thoughts accordingly. I cannot be calculative in
truelove.
V – Vitality: Vitality means energy, passion and vigour.
When couples intimately experience each other's true
love, such experiences fill them with vitality and passion.
The disciples experienced vitality after the resurrection
of Jesus. Their vitality was an indicator of their change of
heart.
uring my studies in philosophy a companion
of mine explained love as an experience of
Dbeing lost in the other. Somehow I was taken
up by his explanation. Being lost in the other signifies
that the other has taken hold of one's heart and one is
affected by the other. The other affects one's thinking,
acting and living. In other words love affects and effects
changes. The Evangelist John says that God so loved the
world that he gave his only Son (Jn 3:16). God was totally
lost in loving the humanity. God was affected by seeing
the sinful reality of the world and that impelled him to
act.
In a selfless love,
one loves the other without
expecting anything in
return. Since it was not a
narcissistic love, God's
constant desire was what
more can I do for humanity?
Even from the Cross when
everybody mocked at him,
derided him, the abundant
love from the heart of Jesus
overflowed offering forgiveness to the enemies. He is
never tired of forgiving us and reaching out to us since he
is lost in loving us, since we are his primary concern. The
insightful quote from St. Francis de Sales sums up the
deeper meaning of love: “The measure of love is love
without measure.” Such love without measure changes
everything. God's immense love for humanity changed
everything which was visible in the lives of the apostles
after the resurrection of Jesus when their fears turned into
courage and despair into hope. Indeed the disciples of
Jesus were new persons with new heart and mind. Saul
who became Paul poignantly said: “I now no longer live,
but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2: 20). Jesus (Love) changed
'Love Changes Everything''Love Changes Everything'
Jossie D'Mello, SJ
Article
(cont’d on next pg.)

Never lets me go away;
He is JESUS, the joy of my life.
(Sr Usha is doing certificate course in theology at
JDV)
LOVE
Jesus My Love
Love that never says enough………
To accept with dignity, Treat with humility,
Relate with sincerity, Work with honesty.
Love that never says enough…….
To serve the Lord zealously,
Seek the Master eagerly,
Carry out his mission joyfully,
Follow the Lord faithfully.
Love that never says enough.
Someone loves me more than anyone else…
Ever holds me in the arms,
Ever protects my life, Never lets me down.
Ever forgives the sins of mine,
Ever blesses me with all that I need,
Never forsakes me.
Ever is my joy and love,
Ever lets my life blossom in Him,
Sr. Usha, CCV
Poems: Love and Jesus My LovePoems: Love and Jesus My Love
(Cont’d from pg. 3 of Fr. Jossie)
E – Empower: If the lover looks at the beloved as an
object, a commodity, then there is no room for
empowerment. True love empowers each other, leads to
greaterbond andcommitmenttoeachother.
The world of today is torn apart by fundamentalism and
terrorism leading to a culture of hate and death. In such a
threatening environment one could negatively be
influenced by the age old saying “eye for an eye, tooth for
a tooth”. Gandhi was wise in saying that such an
approach will make the world blind and toothless. If we
are influenced by the love of Christ, we will have to face
evil with love. Love is the weapon which can change
everything. Martin Luther King, Jr. who was deeply
influenced by Jesus made a moving statement:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
Emphasizing the need for love, he remarked “I have
decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to
bear”. Unselfish love can change everything. It was the
Love of Jesus that transformed the disciples forgiving
them of their disowning moments at the cross and
suffering giving them the gifts to do the same as he did.
Therefore let us decide to stick with love, to hold on to
love that will make a difference in us and in the lives of
others.
(Jossie is teaching Spirituality at JDV )
Love Changes Everything
Poem

hardened heart and melts it down to become a new
creatureon thefaceoftheearth.
St. Catherine of Siena says, “Love transforms
one into what one loves.” God so loved the world that he
created us in His Image and Likeness and when sin
wrapped us, He took the form of humanity sending His
only Son, Jesus. We see, the love of
the Father and of humanity made
Jesus to hide his divinity and carry
our burden of sin to Calvary to
suffer and die on the Cross. This is
the sign of true love handed down to
us.Thus, we Christians are called to
love one another as we love
ourselves and God. But are we
doingso?
The whole world is in the clutches
of evil, and in a subtle way we are
inevitably attached to the proms of
the world seeking for riches, honor and pride. We have
been led astray from the teachings of Christ and have
become followers of Satan. What makes us to fall? We
often fall into temptations for we have lost our center of
attention having unplugged ourselves from the
foundational experience of love. If we have not
experienced what love is then how can we give it to
others who are longing for it? Hence in times of dryness
seek from the well of experiences of love. So plug in to
Jesus the source of Love to love God, oneself, and
neighbors and you will see the change. It is like the iron
box that needs to be connected to the plug of electricity to
be of use, without power the iron box is useless to remove
wrinkles or creases of clothes. Therefore, friends it is our
responsibility to be connected to the plug of love, to
recharge ourselves with that unconditional love of God to
changeeverythingaroundus.
(Amith is doing juniorate at Belgaum)
n the first chapter of the novel 'Les Miserables' by
Victor Hugo, a French novelist, the convict (Jean
IValjean) escapes from prison and runs into a
Bishop's house like a wild and hungry beast. After
spending some time with the Bishop, the convict begins
to feel transformed from within. In reality too, in times of
desolation, most people seek
solace at the feet of God, others
with family members, friends, or
on social media and it works.
What makes people to seek path
towardschange?It's love.
Down the centuries many
kingdoms have risen and fallen,
many have scarified their lives
and many movies have been
made on 'LOVE'. What then is
love? If you ask this question to
the youth of today the normal
response is 'laughter' for they often equate love with sex.
Well, I remember my Novice Master telling us that the
world says, “It cannot show love without sex”, but the
consecrated people say, “It's not true we can show love
without sex”. In general, every social animal is fond of
love and loved ones hence we long for it. However we
cannot force others to love us nor can we hide it as it
flows, naturally, from one's heart. Therefore, it is the
cornerstoneforallthevirtueson heavenandontheearth.
In his poem, “Love changes everything” Michael
Ball says that nothing in this world will ever be the same.
Love changes both the giver and the receiver. One has
always heard that words are like a double edged sword,
but deeds of love is more powerful that the words of love
to change one's heart, yet both are important. When we
dig a bore well it goes deep piercing through the rocky
stones until it finds water. Similarly, love pierces any
Plug in to RechargePlug in to Recharge
Amith S D'souza, SJ
Article

friendliness towards others, enables us to see the
goodness rather than unpleasant nature and to see
everything in a positive manner and enkindles us to live
in the present, in which we can act as if we have always
hadaharmoniousrelationshipwiththeothers.
Lastly, love is a binding force which leads us to
the powerful action even to the point of washing one
another's feet. Beginning with small action of kind
words, simple smile, and tiny service can bring rich
unions, evenifwedonotsearchforrewards.
Today in this consumerist world, we are
challenged to love with same profound love of Jesus.
This means that in our thoughts, feelings decisions and
actions, we deliberately reach out to others with
goodwill, kindness, generosity, care and concern for the
other to build a community of love, breaking all barriers.
By this all will recognize that we are true disciples of
Jesus.
rd
(Leo is a 3 year theologian at JDV)
ecent floods caused by incessant rainfall in
South India washed away the houses and
Rproperties of the common people, and many
lost their lives too. During those times, many extended
their hands to rescue and to give shelter to the strangers.
This natural calamity bore witness to the loving service
of the people. This large-heartedness is very much in the
spirit of Jesus' teaching. Jesus spent months and years
with his apostles during his ministry. He had been their
teacher, friend and guru. In the last hour, he has the
special words for them. “I give you a new
commandment; Love one another as I have loved you.”
Jesus spells out that love has to be shown in service and
service in turn binds people to form a living and a vibrant
community.
'Love' is a word that almost seems to have lost its
significance for many people today. In this postmodern
world 'love' is understood as romantic and erotic kind of
relationship, as we see in our Indian cinemas. If love is
nothing more than that, then we have a cheap version of
it. When Jesus gave his final message of love, certainly
hemeantmuchmorethanwhatisportrayedinour films.
True love binds us with one another in maturity.
As Jesus demonstrated his love for us over the years, now
he wants us in turn to love others as he loved. In other
words he says, “By this attitude of love, will all people
know that you are my disciples” (Jn 13:35). The early
Christians lived out this wish of Jesus and the proof that
they were successful in doing so was the spontaneous
feedback they got from their neighbours, “See how these
Christians love one another.”This love binds not only the
equals, but also the poor, the downtrodden, and the
marginalized as the children of one Father. We as
brothers and sisters realize that all of us are precious in
eyes of God and redeemed by Christ. It is then that we
will be able to sent vibration of love. This love cultivates
in our hearts feeling of warmth, cordiality and
Love - What Does It Do?Love - What Does It Do?
LeoStephen
Article
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attempts to be loved we tend to love with the intention of
receiving it back. In this process we tend to look for those
who can love us back. Thus we create circles of
differences like close friends, friends, indifferent,
acquaintances and enemies. If we reflect on the element
that is responsible in creating these differences, we
realize that it is our mental conditioning of fixing the
other according to our own frame of mind. The challenge
to love unconditionally is
accepting the other as the
other. If we do so, we will
realize that there is no enemy
around us, only a person with
different behavioral pattern
thatIdisagreewith.
The Challenge of Losing
One's Ego: According to St.
Paul “Love is patient; Love is
kind; love is not envious; or
boastful or arrogant or rude.
It is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong
doing but rejoices in truth.”
(Cor 13: 4-6) The challenge
that St Paul is alluding is the challenge of shedding one's
Ego. Following all these above mentioned qualities is
possible only when we let go our ego and place the other
in center. If we analyze all the problems we face today, it
is because of our Ego. Be it war, be it Ecological crisis,
Crisis of relationship, discrimination of gender, religion,
region, caste and race; all lead to one point that is the “I”
above the other. If we have the courage to perceive this
“I” as part of the one whole reality which includes the
other, we will make a successful loving person of
ourselves.
rd
(Dominic Savio is a 3 year theologian at JDV)
ove is the most sought aspect by all. Due to the
changing social alienation and arising conflicts
Lit becomes challenging to love. To meet this
challenge we could draw lessons from Jesus who
incarnated in this world out of love. It is he who gives us
the greatest commandment, 'You shall love the lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with
all your mind, and with all your strength.' and 'You shall
love your neighbor as
yourself.'(Mk 12: 30-31) This
commandment of God to love
comes because of our demand
to be happy in life.To be happy
means to Love, to love means
to give and to give is a
challenge as we cannot give
what we don't have. What
people are seeking is not
material goods but time to
listen and be heard. In fact
giving quality time to
someone is more challenging
than giving material goods and
expressinglove.
The Challenge of Separating I from the
Ultimate: The creator finds His 'Self' in relation with the
creation. When Jesus preached “love God” he meant
loving Him in and through His creation. We need to
realize that our existence is greatly depended on the
creation around us. Any selfish attempt to separate us
from the rest of the creation by polluting and eliminating
the species disturb the creation circle leading us into
unhealthy and unloving self. Therefore it is a great
challenge for all of us to Love God in nature and to live
happily.
The Challenge of Loving Unconditionally:
Everyone in this universe wants to be loved. In our
The Challenges to LoveThe Challenges to Love
DominicSavio
Article

persons should pause to introspect on how we understand
love in our lives.Am I possessed by an emotional love of
just an individual who binds me or am I a liberated person
who has experienced the unconditional love of God and
others which liberates me to be different and let me live
mylifevibrantly?
Jesus' life, words and deeds were revelations of
his deep love for many by which the life of many were
challenged and changed. Though this love was offered to
all yet very few recognized or accepted this
unconditional love. This person of Jesus with his
unconditional love has gripped me too as he touched
many others in their lives. All that I am or I do, makes a
difference just because He is with me and has filled my
life. He has set an example for me
to follow Him as a follower. Yes,
love will never let you be the
same.
Many have experienced
unconditional love in their lives
like Mary Magdalene whom
society looked down upon. Jesus
looked at her as a human being
who has the possibility to change
and become someone important.
When we look at people or deal
with them we should keep in mind this truth that love will
never let you be the same. Awareness of this can bring a
lot of change in oneself and in others. Anyone who has
experienced unconditional love will automatically
change into someone different. Even a problematic child
who has not experienced love, care or concern in his/her
life when chances are given to live and experience love in
a proper atmosphere the results are very encouraging.
The life of a child can change because of the love he/she
receives.
ove will never let you be the same. It doesn't
matter whether one, be a man or a woman,
Lmarried or single, religious or lay, love never
lets you be the same. As a woman religious, when I look
back to my life I am overwhelmed by the love of a
generous Father who, out of love for humankind gave up
the most beloved of His life - His own precious Son.
Jesus too was so deeply touched and filled with His
Father's love that He was able to go to the extent of not
only living for others but to live in a way that no one can
think of…. giving up his life for those despised, because
Helovedthemandlovecanneverletyou bethesame.
I am gripped by this person of Jesus, His love; the
way He loved, the way He lived, the way He moved, the
way He touched the lives of
those whom society rejected. I
was able to experience this
unique love just because I was
loved by my parents who set an
example for me that was
manifested, whether near or far
that love can never let you be
thesame.
Today in society, when
we look at the way life goes on;
one begins to wonder whether
we really experience any unconditional love in our lives.
Our society projects love, as just a passing emotional
feeling but love is something much beyond that. Love
understood in such superficial manner causes break-ups
in families, fewer marriage bonds, etc. Love is patient
and kind but somehow impatience and intolerance have
takentheplaceofrealloveandcommitment.
Love which is so powerful can also destroy when
it is not understood, accepted or experienced in the
positive sense of the word. We as religious committed
Love Never Lets You Be The SameLove Never Lets You Be The Same
Sr.Silvia Aranha, OP
Article
(cont’d on pg.19)

with minimum achievements. Anything can attract, be it
the dress, hair style, walk, smile, anything.The relation is
surface deep and lacks commitment. The hormones kick
in and s/he wants the other. Infatuation produces the
feelings of closeness; because they are typically one
sided. It occurs at teenage or adolescent and ends after
certain period of time. Whatever one may do to sustain
theinfatuatedrelation,itcannotlastlong.
Love on the other hand has no age. Any one can
be in love at any age. Generally love stories commence at
teens before twenties. One realizes the value of true love
only after “falling out of love”. Though there is no
specific definition for love, it is described as a profound
tender, passionate affection for another person. It is a
feeling of warm personal attachment or affection as for a
parent, child, and friend etc. Love can happen without a
conscious intention but it must grow to be true love and
then it doesn't expect anything in return. It brings in
passion as well as intimacy. Love has many attributeslike
patient, tolerant, understanding, forgiving, trust and
many such. It is a decision to commit oneself to another
and to work through conflicts instead of giving up. It is
self less sacrificing and giving until it hurts the receiver.
When somebody is in love, s/he knows that s/he can live
without that person but choose not to because life is much
better with them in it. Love is directed to a real person,
whom you know very well, accepted his/her all strengths
and weaknesses. Loving another person is a decision to
devote yourself to another person for better or worse.
Real love does not compromise principles or
convictions. It respects one another and stimulates the
individual's growth. True love has no end. One would
understand the difference only after experiencing actual
love.
nd
( Sagar is a 2 year philosopher at JDV)
ove and infatuation are both intense emotions
that one feels for another person. They are often
Lconfused for one another. However they both
differintheiractuality,intensityandfinaloutcome.
Once I came across a boy who had scribbled
ABCDEFG below his name on his notebook. On
enquiring he said, “ABoy Can Do Everything For Girl”. I
asked “What would you like to do for your parents?” He
replied that his parents would do everything for him but
now doing everything for the girl only mattered. What
hadpromptedhim,loveorinfatuation?
According to Freud, “Infatuation is only an
attraction between a male and female. And its state of
being completely carried away by unreason passion,
foolish examined feeling and unappreciated often
completely unwanted, unwarranted emotion.” A person
in infatuation feels like being in Love, but in fact s/he is
not. The intensity of the emotion is strong, but not pure
like love. It is weakened by time and separation. It can't
but longs to have a flesh relation (lust). In this state
persons forget their greater ambitions and are satisfied
Infatuation is Not Falling in LoveInfatuation is Not Falling in Love
Sagar Babu, SJ
Article

with the influx of refugees. Some are building more
barriers. Others are pushing them out into a neighbouring
country. Fear overwhelms the spirit of welcome. The
presence of an immigrant, a refugee is perceived more as
athreatthananoccasionforatheophany.
God is love (1Jn 4:8). This is how the evangelist
John defines God. He uses a relational verb, to love. For
John it is clear and simple. If we do not love our
neighbour we do not love God. St. John Chrysostom in
one of his homilies, commenting on Mt. 25 says, “…
when Christ comes along the roads as a pilgrim, looking
for shelter, you do not take him
in as your guest, but you
decorate your floor, walls and
the capitals of the pillars. You
provide silver chains for the
lamps, but you cannot bear even
to look at him as he lies chained
in prison. […] Do not,
therefore, adorn the church and
ignore your afflicted brother,
for he is the most precious
templeof all”.
In the final exercise of Spiritual Exercises, viz.,
Contemplation toAttain Love No. 230 onwards, Ignatius
may not have spoken directly about finding God in
relationships. But it is implied in finding God in all
things. Despite the knottiness involved in human
relationships, being contemplative in relation is an
integral part of being contemplative in action, more
specially so in this Year of Mercy, the heart of which is
love. We are all called to be merciful, like the Father in
heaven who is merciful and just. Thus contemplatives in
action calls us to be lovable in action towards our own
sisters andbrothersandtheMotherEarth.
(Rolphy teaches at Pontifical Gregorian University,
Rome)
erome Nadal called St. Ignatius simul in action
contemplativus. A loose literal translation of this
Jwould be, “simultaneously/at once,
contemplative in action”. This formulation flows from
the Ignatian aphorism “finding God in all things” of Sp.
Ex. No. 233. Ignatius had a facility to find God in all
things. When we say “all things”, we tend to include
“things” and unconsciously, exclude relationships with
persons. Thus, the need to speak of contemplation in
relation (I borrow the idea from José I. González Faus's
article “'I'm Coming Lord', Contemplatives in Relation”
taken from online site
www.cristianismeijusticia.net/fi
les/en144.pdf.
T h e H e d g e h o g ' s
dilemma has been used both by
A. Schopenhauer and S. Freud to
speak of the complexities
involved in human relationships.
We are like hedgehogs dying of
cold. We wish to remain close to
each other in order to warm up
but we cannot because we poke
each other! We know from our
experience that much of our happiness depends upon the
quality of our relationship with others. Yet, often, it is
easier to find God, in a beautiful sunset than in the eyes of
our neighbour. The difficulty intensifies if this neighbour
pertains to a different culture, religion, nationality or
worse ofitanimmigrantorrefugee.
In the Encyclical 'Laudato Si', Pope Francis
speaks of an integral human ecology, implying an
intimate and inseparable interconnectedness of a trifold
reality, viz., God-humans-cosmos. Unbridled
exploitation of the earth has consequences. Among
others, it has caused mass human displacements, giving
rise to the worst refugee crisis of all times, especially in
Europe. The European countries are struggling to cope
Contemplation in RelationContemplation in Relation
Rolphy Pinto, SJ
Article

JesuswasthirstyforGod'sloveashefeltforsakenbyGod
on the Cross. Thus we are all called to thirst for this Love
ofGodthatwillnevermakeusfellthevacuuminus.
The Samaritan women carried an empty jar to the
well to fetch water. The empty jar represents her empty
heart. After the encounter with Jesus she was filled with
joy and love. Similarly we too carry empty hearts and go
around to everyone asking to fill it. We do so because we
do not know what are we looking for and where. We need
to fill the jar of our life with living water, i.e., God's love.
God puts a longing in our hearts that is intended to lead us
back to Him. Only His unconditional acceptance,
approval and affirmation can fill the empty places in our
hearts - the deepest thirst of our souls. Love is the deepest
longing and desire of every human being and this longing
can be satisfied by God alone. God satisfies not only the
physical and temporal needs but also our spiritual and
psychological needs.The only requirement to experience
God's complete and immense love is to trust in God's
providence.
rd
(Pradeep is 3 year theologian at JDV)
*******************************************
POSA’s Visitation - DNC, Pune
The new year began on a graceful note for DNC.
We had the Visitation of George Pattery, SJ (POSA) and
th th
I Raj, SJ (ADF) from the 10 Jan to 15 Jan. With the GC
36 having already begun around the world it is time for
the scholastics to get involved in the happenings of GC
36. ADF's ppt on the Restructuring of the South Asian
Assistancy gave the community the dynamics of the
restructuring in process. They held meetings with the
theologians and Philosophers separately. POSA
encouraged the Jesuits to be men of interiority, inter-
culturality and also men of ecology. In spite of being
busy with so many things listening to the movement of
thespiritwithinis veryimportant.
ar garages are meant for cars. That is how they
are designed. That is what gives the garage its
Cpurpose. If it is filled up with all kinds of other
stuff then there is no place for the car. The same is true
with our hearts. Our hearts are meant to contain God, but
when we fill it with worry, stress and guilt we have no
room for God. Having experienced the internal
emptiness St. Augustine very rightly says, “My heart is
restlessuntilitrests inYou.”
Self-emptying would mean giving up, putting
aside, and letting go. This would pop up a question in our
mind, “What shall we fill it with”? The obvious answer is
'God's love'. The common and general understanding is
that to fill it has to be empty, else it's not possible. In life
there are things we desire and search for, like meaning,
happiness, success etc. Despite having every material
thing one does not find the purpose and meaning in life,
instead feels empty and exasperated. That is because
there is a divine vacuum. This vacuum can be filled only
by God's love. Only God's love can give meaning to our
lives, purpose to live and direction to walk. We see this
sort of a deep thirst in King David, who had everything
highest position, unlimited possessions, and great power,
yet none of it were enough. He described himself as
parched and thirsty for God, “You God are my God,
earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you” (Ps. 63:1). In the
New Testament Jesus cries out loudly on the Cross “I
thirst” (John 19:28). As per one of the interpretation
Self Emptying for Self FillingSelf Emptying for Self Filling
Pradeep Perera
Article

love, changes
the way you
t h i n k , t a l k ,
behave and act,
indeed, love
c h a n g e s
everything. I've
had a friend
who was in
relationship for
eight years and
broke up with the boyfriend for some reason. This
completely changed her idea of love and she promised
never to fall in love again isolating herself from
everything. Life as it says gives a second chance and so
came the charming prince of her life who swept her off
her feet blowing away the past experiences of her making
her fall in love again. Therefore, I can vouch saying that
love changes everything depending on one's idea and
partner.
Love used to be a mundane idea for me as my past
experiences weren't good, then came a boy who changed
the concept of mine making me realize that life is not just
worrying about the future, but it's about living in the
presentonedayatatime.
Being in relationship should not fixate us
thinking about the other the whole time and narrow down
our thoughts, instead should make us independent to see
things in a broader perspective and decide. Love is not a
bondage, but the freedom to be the instrument of change
in someone's life. So, if you really want to change, then
you got to do what writer John Lennon said, “Love is the
flower you have got, Let it grow,” and it will change
everything.
st
( Sharon Lobo is studying 1 year MCom at Mumbai
University)
like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am
loved”–T.S Eliot
I Love is when you don't seem to know why you
are attracted to the person.True love is not when you give
priority to just one person; it is when that one person
helps you to prioritize things in your life. Falling in love
at a young age is not accepted everywhere. Especially in
India when a young lad and lady sit together, hold hands
or have long walks with each other, it is just considered to
be a passing phase, a time when you have hormonal
changes and when you have no control over your own
mind. But what if falling in love more that some chemical
changeinyour system?Itsure is forafew.
Love can be expressed differently as per people
in life, it could be parents, siblings, relatives or friends.
This gives us an added responsibility to categorize it
well.As a child we may not be able to do this really well,
but as we grow, we begin to join the dots. Whereas some
of us fail to differentiate the love that is poured to us
making a wrong choices and destroying not only our life
but also of others. A young mind varies in ideas about
love. Some feel love can be expressed through exchange
of gifts changing the way you value the other and money,
others feel being available emotionally is love so get
attached or dependent on their partner, yet few feel
physical intimacy is the key to a successful relationship,
whileafewwaitfortherighttime.As for mebeingin
Love, Love Changes Everything…..Love, Love Changes Everything…..
Sharon Lobo
Article

person; it makes the person actualize oneself and the
other. Love is not only emotional but also it is
responsible; love is never selfish but ever sacrificing;
love is never possessive but ever free; love is never
doubtful but ever hopeful in times of loss, in times of
loneliness, in times of despair and in times of
discouragement. It is love that changes all things. It is in
love that God created everything beautiful. It is in love
that He sent His only son to this world as a true sacrifice
of love. It is the same love that made Mother Teresa, see
Jesus in the poor. Love can turn the wars into laughter and
the earth into heaven.We are here to love and to live.This
love is neither a passion nor a force, neither a drive nor an
instinct but it is the very being of a person which
completes him/her in loving the other; for, the other is an
enshrinement of God's love and goodness. Nothing can
replace love. As Saint Paul says faith, hope and love
abide and the greatest of these is Love. So, let us become
the love, give the love and live the life of love by making
the world a true home of love. Love changes all things
andmakesallthingspossible.
st
(Sundar is a 1 year theologian at JDV)
ove makes all things possible. It is love that
changes all things and makes all things. It is in
Llove that God made everything. It is in love that
we are made. It is only in love that we can walk together
to hope, to believe, to live and to love. Hence it is love
whichmakesallthingspossible.
Love is always lived; it is experienced in every
sphere of life and celebrated in every moment of our life.
th
Valentine's Day on February 14 is one of the love-
celebrations which we have today. This day has its origin
the in medieval times of the Roman Empire. It is named
after St. Valentine of Rome, though the history, records
many who bear the nameValentine in the medieval times.
As the legend says, St. Valentine was imprisoned for
arranging marriage for those soldiers who were
forbidden to marry and during his imprisonment he
healed Julia, the daughter of the jailer Asterius. Before
his execution he wrote a letter to Julia, signed “Your
Valentine” as a farewell. This day was also celebrated
among the Christian denominations as a commemoration
of St. Valentine of Rome and even today it continues.
This day was first associated with romantic love and it
continues even today with all its fervor. But this
celebration of love is not only a celebration of romantic
lovebutalsoacelebrationoftrueloveinallkinds.
It is a celebration of all those who love as it is
enshrined in the hearts of everyone. Love completes the
Celebration of LoveCelebration of Love
Sundar, HGN
Article
Drawing by J Amal Bosco SJ, DNC

Therefore, I strongly believe that once these violent
people feel being loved and accepted in the society it will
change their being and bring transformation in the world
around us.
This is where
the concept of
being loved
affects the
social need of
a p e r s o n .
When I say, 'personal need' someone is in love with
someone. No-one gets up a particular day and falls in
love but it happens. We don't fall in love with someone
for the sake of the other, but we do so because we need
affection, care and presence of that person in our life.
Therefore, 99% of these relationships get transformed
into a union in the form of marriage building a family. I
too believe in this concept of being in love with someone
for it calls to love that person as s/he is. This element of
love is what builds our personal need. It's not more of
social but person to person relationship that unites two
into one and brings a change in the other accepting the
other.
These are the two sides of love, being loved by
others and accepting them socially and secondly being in
love with someone. In simple terms if I am in love with
someone can mean that I love that person, but if I am
being loved by someone, it does not mean that that person
is in love with me because both are unique in nature.
Love is simple and in our hands so why make it
complicated and difficult for people to love one another.
Lao Tzu has rightly said, “Being deeply loved by
someone gives you strength, while loving someone
deeply gives you courage." Therefore let us
courageously love God, others, self and cosmos alike
makingitabetterplacetolivein.
nd
(Deva is 2 year philosopher at JDV)
an you imagine a world without the air or can
you think of stopping the breath you take? The
Cworld of Love is something like the air that can
be found everywhere and in everyone's heart. It's not seen
but felt and experienced. It has the power to change even
the toughest person, as Dalai Lama would say, "Love and
compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them
humanitycannotsurvive."
In fact love is like a coin with two sides. We often
hear people saying, I'm being loved by someone and I
love someone. These two elements of love try to fulfill
ourpersonalandsocialneeds.
As we are rational beings in need of support of the
other for existence, we begin loving people according to
our perspectives and needs. If we look around we see a lot
of violence done towards the other in the name of
religion, caste, color and so on. The cause for this
violence seems to be the lack of love in people's life.
They have not experienced being loved by their own and
in turn they have not loved any either.All of us are aware
of the story of the mother who forgave and accepted the
murderer of her son. This act changed the murderer as he
felt being loved inspite of having killed her son.,
TheTwo Sides of LoveTheTwo Sides of Love
Devadhas, SJ
Article

L a t e r c h a t s ,
messages and talks
began on regular
bases God only
knows what we
would talk about, but
time would fly. One fine day being busy, I could not talk
to her and was feeling lonely. I went for class but was
thinking about her, I sat for prayer but was seeing her. I
reflected on this and realized that I was in love with her.
In such situations one wants to be always with the person
one loves. The whole world revolves around that person.
It is at this time that one makes a choice of spending one's
whole life with the other as life partners. It is at the peak
of this moment that the person speaks from his heart and
say, “I am in love with you” which can be called a
profound love. One who says 'I Love you' might not be in
love with you, but one who is in love with you truly loves
youwholeheartedly.
According to Daily Mail, a 2013 survey from
eHarmony suggests men take an average of 88 days to
say “I love you,” whereas women take an average of 134
days. Therefore when one feels like expressing the
magical words, take some time, give space for the other
and let out at the opportune time, hence love is called
patient.
In my counseling I have heard people saying, “I
love him, but I am not in love with him.” What it means?
Simple, the spark that made you love him is no more. So
pick up the broken pieces of your failed love, dust off
your vocal chords and try again going slow in singing a
song for your LOVE. 'Zindagi na Milegi Doobara'
therefore when in love do respect the love and give 'I love
you' the space to grow. Thus I would say, 'Love is a
beautiful flower once planted needs to be fed, watered,
prunedtimelyandcaredforwithtrust.'
nd
(John is a 2 year theologian at JDV)
indagi me anmol cheez pane me waqt lagta hai,
Isiliye log kehete hai, “Love is a waste of
ZTime.” It is true that love is a waste of time, but
it has that magical power to change everything in the life.
When a person's chemistry begins to stir from within
towards the opposite sex, an inner urge pushes him/her to
say, 'I love you'. In some utterances it does not take off to
a perfect start and at times brings an end to the
relationship whereas few blossom to form partners in
life. 'Zindagi na Milegi Doobara' so experience the
mysteryofloveinone's life-time.
When I say to someone, 'I love you' I
communicate to him/her that you are special to me and
your presence makes a difference in my life. This term is
magical but it can be just a superficial feeling that once
upon a time was twilight of my eye but now is like the
withered flower dying to be born again. I can love many
people in my life but there is only one with whom I can be
inlovewith.
Many marriages break because the one they
loved and married are no more in love with them. What
does it mean to be in love with someone? I had one such
experience; I began talking to one girl. We used to make
fun, spend time, share personal things and liked to hear
the voice of the other. This did continue for some time.
Zindagi na Milegi Doobara
I Love You and I Am in Love with You
Zindagi na Milegi Doobara
I Love You and I Am in Love with You
John Fernandes, SJ
Article

civilized people. It happens because we interlink culture
and civilization. Cultural practices are meant to enhance
our human relationship. But civilization spoils our
human relationship. Culture is cultivation of mind and
civilization is cultivation of body. Civilization is the
highest form of human organization. Civilization tends
to make us all one through technology. but culture is
unique and it makes us different. Our cultural values have
an ability to be trans-spatiotemporal but technocratic
civilization changes. Culture is dynamic; civilization
even though it changes it is very less different. Our
emotional status is the basis
for which our society
functions. The emotional
quotient is the basis of human
life. The relationships with the
other human beings are an
absolutenecessity.
Indifference to the
suffering of other human
beings is very common
nowadays. People who are
indifferent to the suffering of others are promoters of
human right violation in the postmodern world today.We
do not heed to the cry of our suffering brothers and
sisters. In terms of hatred, the person is recognized as an
enemy.At least hatred is better than indifference. Love is
themostrequiredrelationshipinthispostmodernworld.
Our understanding of love should change. Love
should be our basic horizon through which we perceive
the whole world. Love should be the grammar upon
which whole world revolves. Then our life will become
meaningful. Love should be both horizon and grammar
to make our life meaningful. This should be our
philosophyof life.
rd
(Zenith is a 3 year philosopher at JDV)
ove is so important that it keeps our life going.
It is very difficult to define Love. Every person
Lhas his/her own definition of love. The
philosophy of love is still more difficult to explicate. Our
human life begins with love and it continues throughout
our life till our death. We have grown a lot through
questioning every aspect of human life. But questioning
our deepest emotions is the most ridiculing thing which
we do most often. Love is a mysterious dimension of
human life. The mystery of love envelopes our human
lifeandtouchesthedepthofour humanlonging.
In the world of throw
away culture, the meaning of
love keeps on wavering. In our
traditional Christian definition
of love; ‘Agape’is the greatest
love and human erotic love is
the lowest form of love. This is
a range of metaphysical
description of love in the
Christian world. Nowadays
this metaphysical description
has no place. Earlier people used things and loved
people. But in this postmodern world people love things
and use people. What has happened to the metaphysical
definition of love? Tools are the extension of human
body especially hands and foot. With modern scientific
enquiry the world is faced with new technologies which
are extensions of our senses. With the arrival of
capitalism, accumulation of technological gadgets has
become a new phenomenon. The time spent in a
relationship has gone and now people want new
technologies.Thus peoplelovethingsanduse people.
We human beings are relational beings. We are
born into a culture. Culture has gone through
technological change. This technology is part of our
culture. We lost our cultural values by becoming
Love: Philosophy of LifeLove: Philosophy of Life
ZenithXavierD, SJ
Article

freedom. A mother's
love for her child can
be best described as
pure love. It knows
only to give without
expectations. Love
cares for the welfare
of the other as much as your own. It is an attitude and not
just a feeling. It enhances our lives. It makes us more
graciousandgenerous.
There is also an aspect of suffering involved in
love. There is so much to sacrifice and so much to let go.
But then, when there is true love, the suffering also
becomes a joyful experience. Suffering can be caused by
various reasons. De Rouge Mont says that there is no
more suffering for the beloved but enjoyment of the
passionate sensation of being in love. Love becomes the
motivating factor and energizer in the process of
suffering. The lover may have to go through the darkest
nights but he or she is motivated to bear it patiently with
the hope of experiencing a brighter dawn. Therefore all
those who dare to love passionately, dare to suffer. The
great advantage is that in suffering the love grows
stronger. This passionate suffering makes the lover reach
the transcendental level of love where no external
featuresfallintoaccount.
St Ignatius in the Spiritual exercises says, “Love
ought to manifest itself more by deeds than by words.”
(Sp Ex 230). It is Ignatius' practical approach to life. We
cannot restrict ourselves only to affective love, but it has
to be effective also. “Through love serve one another.”
(Galatians 5:13). We must become the embodiments of
love. It is possible to share what we have rather than what
we don't have. It is love that makes us more humane and
sensitive to the needs of others. Let this love become the
hallmarkof our lives.
nd
( George is 2 year philosopher at JDV)
eart has its reason of which reason knows
nothing” says, the well known French
Hphilosopher Blaise Pascal. This quotation
beautifully summarizes the nature of human beings.
Feelings are integral parts of our lives. Love is one
among them which brings meaning to our lives. The
mechanical life style of the present world has forgotten
the true value of love. We often live in a superficial world
where we succumb ourselves to impersonal
relationships. We try to base our relationships on reasons
butthiswouldonlyresultinemptinessandstagnation.
Once, a lady asked the man who had loved her
very much, “Dear, why do you love me so much?” The
man said, “I can't find a reason… but I really love you.”
But the lady argued that he could not have loved her
without any reason. The man answered that his love was
beyond reasons and could be even proved. “Proof?”
asked the lady. “No! I want you to tell me the reason.”
With no option left, the man gave some reasons,
“...because you are beautiful, you have a sweet voice,
you are caring, you have lovely smile…” The lady felt
very satisfied with his answer. Unfortunately, a few days
later, the lady met with an accident and fell into a coma.
The man, then placed a letter by her side, and here is what
he had written in it: “Darling, you had thought that it was
because of your sweet voice that I loved you...But can
you talk now? No! Therefore I cannot love you. Is it
because of your care and concern that I like you?
Nowthat you cannot show them, I cannot love you.Was it
because of your smile or your elegant movement that I
loved you? Now can you smile? Can you move? No,
therefore I cannot love you...If love needs a reason, like
now; there is no reason for me to love you anymore. Does
love really need a reason? I tell you, No!Therefore, I still
loveyou...”
This beautiful story reminds us that pure love
requires no reasons. It is beyond all terms and conditions.
Unconditional love makes us persons of integrity and
Does Love Require a Reason…?Does Love Require a Reason…?
George Pinto, SJ
Article

rising of temper on issues and at times over dependence
ontheotherforeverything.
Q5. Have you ever thought of seeking help when
needed?
We have been working together in the same
hospital so we have got into the habit of seeking help
from each other whenever needed, so far there has never
been an occasion where we had to seek help from others
outside our small family. The long years of experience
has made us to rely on the partner more than anyone
outsideforhelpevenifitberelational.
Q6. After your children become independent, how
do you seeyourlife?
We would like our children to be more
independent and to settle in life knowing what they want
in life. Once they are independent and fly into the world
fulfilling their dreams we would dedicate our life in
serving the community doing social work in trusted
hospitalsiflifepermitsgood health.
Q7. What would you like to give to the world and
what is yoursuggestions fortheworld?
What we would like to give to the world is our
services to those in need.What we suggest is one needs to
be attuned to one's nature and character for they have to
match and express the same. One has to learn to live in
symbiosis, respecting each other as the other and giving
the right amount of space to the other considering the
partnerasequalintherunningof marriedlife.
(SanjayandAnjaliaremedicaldoctors byprofession)
arriage is a union of two person into one
nuclear family. It has been twenty – one
Myears ever since we have been living a
happymarriedbecausewegotgood lifepartnerstolive.
Q1. What was it that united the two into one family
as married partners? Your views about married
life?
Before getting married we had been know
through the families and began courting for Nine to Ten
Months to know each other. The two of us wanted a
partner who is a medical professional so we got together,
understood the needs of the others and sailed through the
ups and downs of life. As for us married life depends on
the type of partner one has, we had good partners in the
formof eachotherso ithadbeenahappylife.
Q2.What perspectivesdo you haveofmarriage?
Marriage is like an Institution that needs a look at
every stage of life. It needs a lot of adjustment to fit in the
web of the other. There has to be understanding between
partners, being a friend to the other in times of struggle
and hardships. It's more of companionship, synergizing
andcompatibilityinlifethatmakesitmoveon.
Q3. What has helped you sustain throughout your
marriagelife?
The fact of being patient towards the other and
understanding the temperament of the partner, giving
space to grow and having faith and trust in each other has
sustainedourmarriedlife.
Q4. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your
marriedlife?
The belongingness that we have towards the
other, understanding the need of the other, cooperating
with the other inspite of our righteousness, dedicated and
committed towards the other are our strengths. In
marriage there is no perfect sailing so we to have few
An Interview With Dr. Sanjay And
Dr. Anjali Thekewade
An Interview With Dr. Sanjay And
Dr. Anjali Thekewade
Interview
Love isn't something you
find. Love is something
that finds you.
-Loretta Young

was about the missions and listening to the heroic work
of the missionaries he was irrevocably touched. The Luis
who came out of the refectory that afternoon was a
differentman. Themonthwas February1946.
That year he joined the novitiate and never
looked back. After his ordination he joined the staff of
JDVandtaughtSystematicTheologyfrom1960 to1991.
After having finished what was entrusted to him,
he came to De Nobili to be an inspiration of humility and
happiness to all of us who have passed through this
institution.
To the very end his desire was to avoid special
attention towards himself and it was so till he breathed
th
hislastonthe30 January2016.
r. Luis Maria Bermejo Lopez,
rd
was born 23 march, 1929. He
Fwas always a humble and happy
man and never sought attention. Yet in
his own way he contributed a lot to the
church as a theologian, as a writer (he wrote nearly 20
books) and a well appreciated retreat preacher. (he gave
63Ignatian30-dayretreatsduringhis entirelife)
It was in his first year of his secular college
studies that he experienced the call of God. As students
they were taken as per custom for a retreat. So far he had
never thought of becoming a Jesuit since he was very
fond of football, dancing and girls. But God has his own
ways. On the fifth day of the retreat, Friday, to be exact,
he went in to the refectory for lunch. The reading at table
make happy the person whom she loves. She finds out his
likes/dislikes and tries to live her life in such a way, so as
to please him and win him over and her whole life moves
around him and he becomes the centre of her life. We
who have fallen in love with person of Jesus need to
question ourselves; do I find such intensity to search and
find the likes and dislikes of Jesus and to live a life that
pleases him? Is my life fully centered on Him?Am I fully
occupied thinking of Him and giving my best to Him?
In this year of Mercy, let us renew our life by
renewing our love for Jesus. Let us once again open our
hearts to experience the mercy of our unconditional
loving Father and let us become merciful through our
love. May this year bring a new understanding of love
that love will never let us be the same. Let us allow this
merciful Father to fill us with His love and let His love
change everything in us and thus make our lives
andmissionmorevibrant.
(Sr.Silviais theProvincialofDominicanSisters)
(Cont’dfrom Pg.8)
Love will never let you be the same. When I look
at the life of our own founders, it makes me wonder what
made those founders leave all that they had and go to the
unknown, that too, to great jungles where no other human
being had ever stepped in… The answer is “Love will
never let you be the same”. BlessedAscension Nicol, the
Co-foundress of the Dominican Missionary Sisters of the
Rosary was a semi-cloistered nun who responded to this
love. Having lived 28 years in the security of the convent,
she left everything just because there were many
forgotten natives in the jungles of Amazon waiting to be
liberated. Having experienced God's love in her life and
when she discerned that God wanted her to carry His
message of love to those unknown ones, she had no
hesitation but left all that bound her. Love liberates. As
she said 'Be more concerned about others and less about
oneselfandalltheotherthingswillfallinline.’
When a girl is in love, she does all that she can to
A Man Who Despised Attention.A Man Who Despised Attention.
Love Never Lets You Be The SameLove Never Lets You Be The Same

DNC TIMES February 2016 - Love

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DNC TIMES February 2016 - Love