4. May 5, 2000
Although I know that a lot of things happened between
my twenties and our wedding day, apparently not
much of it was captured on film. Or more likely, what
was captured was destroyed by me, since I don’t
usually like pictures of myself, particularly if I’m in a
picture by myself.
I do like this picture, though. I remember so well how I
felt that day, and how relaxed and happy I was when
the preparations were done. If I ever to start to lose
that feeling, I think this picture will bring it back to me
in a millisecond. There is nothing about this picture
that does not say bliss to me.
5. It’s All About Me
As much as I sometimes enjoy bandying about
that phrase, I’m always well aware that nothing
could be further from the truth.
Everything I do, everything I am, is a result of
the people I have loved, who have loved me,
forgiven me, accepted me, nurtured me.
6. Not Mars his sword nor
war’s quick fire shall burn
the living record of your
memory.
William Shakespeare
7. In Loving Memory
What you leave behind is not what is
engraved in stone monuments, but
what is woven into the lives of others.
Pericles (attributed)
8. To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die
Campbell – Hallowed Ground
Gussie and Nate Parmet
My mother’s parents
My grandfather gave me a work ethic. He instilled in me his
belief that “if you’re going to do something, take the time to do
it right,” words that still resonate in me today.
From my grandmother I learned a lot about loyalty and being
a good friend. Her friends were truly friends for life.
From both I gained a love and respect for family that I will
always carry with me.
9. Edward Mellish
When I write a book, it will be about Edward. He was the
most extraordinary ordinary person I will ever know.
He was like all of us – very real, not a paragon. The first time
I ever saw him he was kicking a photocopy machine in
frustration. He was human.
He was like no one else. He was bright, funny, dedicated and
loving. He poured a lifetime of love into his time here. His
devotion to his family was palpable and amazing to behold.
His last words to me were these:
When people are frail, most people
back away. Real friends come closer.
You have been the best of the best.
He was wrong. Edward was the best of the best.
Edward gave me 4 of the greatest gifts in my life: his
friendship, which I carry in my heart always, and Rosalie, Hayley
and Claire, who are more precious to me than they will ever
know.
To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die
Campbell – Hallowed Ground
10. Sandra Smith
My father’s sister. She got married when I was about 5 or 6
and I was a junior bridesmaid at her wedding. My brother was a
junior groomsman, so we walked down the aisle together.
My relationship with my father’s family has been sporadic at
best – after he and my mother parted ways I saw very little of
his relatives, because he didn’t see much of them.
But I’ve always loved Aunt Sandi – she had a great sense of
humor and was a great mom to her daughters.
In 2000, I think I had seen Aunt Sandi twice during the
previous 20+ years. But she came to our wedding and was the
loving aunt I remembered despite the brain cancer that she had
been fighting for several years.
My cousins have said that they think I look like her. I don’t
see it, but I would be honored to resemble such a strong, loving
woman in any way.
To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die
Campbell – Hallowed Ground
11. Family
In every conceivable manner, the
family is link to our past, bridge to
our future.
Alex Haley
12. Mom
My mother has been my staunchest supporter, my rock, my home. I don’t
know if she will ever truly understand how much she means to me, but I hope
to one day be worthy of all she has done and continues to do for me.
13. Mom
Did I mention that she’s a LOT of fun? It’s pretty common knowledge that I
love all things Disney and that I refer to Disneyworld as the happiest place on
earth. I’ve been there alone, with Larry, with other family members, but going
with Mom is the BEST.
14. Dad
My father has retired three times and is currently putting together a plan to
take another job which will move him to London for a while. He has no real
concept of how to relax. I seem to have inherited some of that. He was a
great dad to grow up with and still always finds a way to be here for me when I
need him – he attended my wedding a few hours after undergoing an
outpatient surgical procedure. There is no one else like him. I love him a lot.
15. Howard
My brother. It would be easy to go for the quick laugh here and say that
there were no pictures of us close together and smiling between 1960
and 1999, but I’m not going there. Sure, I couldn’t find any, but… No, no,
I kid, I kid. Howard and I are close in age (vanity compels me to state that
he is older) and were close for the first few years of my life. After that,
not so much – until we stopped living under the same roof. Since then,
we have had a warm, loving relationship that I cherish.
16. Susan
My sister-in-law, and one of my absolute favorite people on the planet.
She is strong, smart, funny, giving, open, honest and loving. I love her a
lot.
17. Benjamin
It has been a rare privilege to be able to
watch Benjamin grow up. As a distant (by
location) but very proud aunt, I marvel at
the man he is becoming.
18. Uncle Paul and Esther
My uncle the doctor… Always and forever one of my favorite people!
Esther inherited an almost-adult niece and nephew when she married Uncle Paul. Two of the things I always
remember fondly about Esther -- One was when my cousin Lauren was about 8 months old. I asked Esther to bring
her to National College of Education for a class I was taking there. She cheerfully gave up her morning without a
second’s thought. The other happened years later, when we were packing to move into our house and I ran out of
supplies and was unable to get more due to a back problem. I called Esther to see if they had boxes we could pick
up. They didn’t, but she immediately insisted on going to buy us some and brought them to us as a gift.
19. Lauren and Chad Dana and Doug
My cousins – thank you, Uncle Paul and Esther!
Two of the most impossibly beautiful women (inside and out) on the
planet.
Chad officially became my cousin when he and Lauren got married in
October of 2000, and Doug will be joining the family in March when he
and Dana get married!
20. Susan
My aunt. Susan is pretty close to my age, so I never called her “Aunt
Susan”. I always thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen.
When I was young I fervently wanted to look just like her.
21. Mike and Steve
My cousins – thank you, Susan!
Despite the occasional restaurant food fight, two fine men with a strong
sense of family.
22. Friends
Never shall I forget the days I spent with
you. Continue to be my friend, as you will
always find me yours.
Ludwig van Beethoven
23. Rosalie
In June of 1993, the apartment building in which I was
living caught fire. I was taken to the hospital due to smoke
inhalation and spent the night in intensive care.
Rosalie was waiting outside the building with a small
crowd when I was taken out. I blurted out that I had not
been able to find one of my cats. She left me and returned
in a few minutes with the cat in her arms.
She took my cats to her apartment, made sure that
Edward was all right (he had had a seizure when he
realized that it was my building on fire), then she came
back.
Making numerous trips up and down the 3 flights of
stairs in both of our buildings, she removed my computer
equipment and anything else she thought I needed to be
sure that nothing I needed for my (then new) business was
stolen or damaged.
In the morning, she brought me back from the hospital.
Walking back to her apartment, I remember stopping and
saying, “I thank God for you every day, Rosalie.”
I still do.
25. Top Left: Rosalie Cyrier, Hayley and Claire Mellish
Top Center: Rhonda and Ron Messina
Top Right: David Steele
Bottom Left: Joyce Keane
Bottom Right: Melissa Wafer, Robert Lusky, Madeline Nelson
(where the heck was Bill?)
26. Larry
What greater thing is there for two human souls than
to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each
other... to be at one with each other in silent
unspeakable memories.
George Eliot
27. Lover, Partner, Husband, Friend
As many people can attest, I could talk about Larry for a very long time.
In a rare attempt at brevity, I’ll just say that I’m so grateful now that I
didn’t find someone earlier in my life, because that would have been the
wrong person . Larry is the person I was meant to be with, and I am
forever grateful that we found one another. And look at him – he’s SO
cute!
28. Fuzzy Family
“’Men have forgotten this truth,’ said
the fox. ‘But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever, for
what you have tamed.’”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
30. Minerva
Such a sweet cat – she came when you called her, even if you woke her
from a sound sleep.
31. Jake Sabrina
Trying to walk in Larry’s shoes. He
Always the princess…
always thought of himself as the
Alpha Male…
32. St. Louis Dogs
Two of the four dogs Howard and family have had since he moved to St. Louis.
Shown here: Annie, the Great Pyrenees on the left and Boulder, the Australian
Shepherd on the right. Not Shown: Jack (breed forgotten by me) and Reno, a
Bernese Mountain Dog.
33. Zoe and Kitty
Our remaining cat population. Zoe at 8 weeks and as full grown mouse
assassin; Kitty full grown having a rare moment with Larry where she is
allowing herself to be touched.
34. Payton
Our “baby” Bouvier. These pictures show Payton at 10 weeks. At 6
months he weighs almost 60 pounds and his head is bigger than Kitty –
not Kitty’s head – Kitty.
35. Mikki
Mom’s Tibetan Terrier and the belle of Morton Grove – people literally
stop their cars to look at her and ask what kind of dog she is. She hates
the heat, loves the snow and is generally a perfect dog.
36. I hope that memory is valued – that
we do not lose memory.
Studs Terkel
If I do not remember thee, let my
tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.
Psalms 137:6
37. Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but
how to control the flow.
Tobias Wolff
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was
started with a dream and a mouse.
Walt Disney
