1. 1
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?
Critical thinking about the impacts
of what you say and how you say it.
Wild on Wounds 2016
Las Vegas, NV
09.03.16
Bryan J. Stewart
#WOW16WTBC
2. Learning
Objectives
1. General understanding of the impacts of verbal
and non-verbal communications.
2. Explore and share knowledge, tools and
techniques to help you improve and optimize
your communication effectiveness.
3. Have some fun together.
2#WOW16WTBC
4. What are we
going to
cover today?
Number I.
The Basics
Number II.
Body Language & Non-Verbal
Communication
Number III.
Listening
Number IV.
The Power of Words
Number V.
Issue Clearing Model
Number VI.
Crucial Conversations Model
4#WOW16WTBC
8. Elements of
Effective
Communication
• What You Say
~ One Way vs Two Way
~ Words Matter
• How You Say It
~ Four Communication Styles
~ Body Language (Yours and Theirs)
• How You Receive
~ Active Listening
~ Empathy
8#WOW16WTBC
9. Verbal
vs
Non-Verbal
More than 65% of our communications are non-
verbal…
> 35% of our
communications come
from the words that we
speak
> 65%
“Communication consists of both verbal and non-verbal signals. As a result,
humans are continuously communicating not just thoughts, ideas, and opinions
but also feelings and emotions.”
- Morreale, Spitzberg & Barge, 2001
9#WOW16WTBC
23. Common Poses
and Gestures
“Knife Hands”
“Be polite, be professional,
but have a plan to kill
everybody you meet.”
U.S. Marine General
James “Mad Dog” Mattis
23#WOW16WTBC
45. Issue
Clearing
Model
1. I have an issue I’d like to clear with you.
Is now a good time?
2. The specific facts are…..
3. I think….my judgment is….my opinion
is….
4. I feel….
5. My part in this is….
6. And what I specifically want is….
45#WOW16WTBC
46. Issue
Clearing
Model
7. Let me see if I understand
you….what I hear is….
8. Is that accurate…..am I on target?
9. Is there more?
10. Are we clean and clear about
this?
46#WOW16WTBC
47. Issue
Clearing
Model
• About being heard, not necessarily
about resolving the issue.
• You can never negotiate with emotion.
47#WOW16WTBC
54. Summary
Number I.
The Basics
Number II.
Body Language
Number III.
Listening
Number IV.
The Power of Words
Number V.
Issue Clearing Model
Number VI.
Crucial Conversations Model
54#WOW16WTBC
56. Find a “Mirror”
Ask someone to be your mirror, maybe at home
and/or at work.
• Do an audit.
~ What are you saying without talking?
~ Are you congruent?
• Agree on a sign.
1. ChallengeHOW?
56#WOW16WTBC
57. Three Words
2. Challenge
HOW?
57
Think about people in your life that can benefit by
the power of your three words.
• Try it.
~ How did you feel?
~ How did they respond?
• Repeat as often as needed/possible.
#WOW16WTBC
58. Clear One
3. Challenge
HOW?
58
Think about someone that you need to get “clean
and clear” with.
• Map it out.
~ Use the framework to think about what you
want to say and how you want to say it.
~ Just do it.
• Repeat as often as needed/possible.
#WOW16WTBC
You are here: Home / Character Development / Increase Your Performance by Changing Your Posture
Increase Your Performance by Changing Your Posture
BY DR SHEN-LI LEE
inShare1
Did you know you can improve your performance just by changing your body language? If you modify your body language by changing your facial expression or adjusting your pose, you can alter your body’s physiology and that can affect how you feel and how well you perform. Here’s the clincher: you can make yourself feel a certain way without having to pretend to feel that way. I thought it was a pretty good lesson to teach our children because it will give them a tool for managing how they feel in a given situation.
Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are…
I have read this before and I have used it with success on Aristotle, so it was with great interest that I watched Amy Cuddy explaining the effect of power poses on TEDTalks:
Just by changing our posture for 2 minutes and adopting a “power pose” – standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – we can change our body chemistry, how we feel, and possibly improve our chances for success.
The high-power posers showed a nearly 20 percent increase in testosterone (the dominance hormone) and a 25 percent decrease in cortisol (the stress hormone). The low-power posers saw a 10 percent decline in testosterone and a 17 percent increase in cortisol.
Cuddy says, “These two-minute changes (in body stance) lead to hormonal changes that can configure your brain to be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress reactive and feeling shut down.” – Huffington Post
Power posing is linked to:
better performance
greater confidence
reduced stress
more assertive behavior
Whenever you want to separate two different ideas or things, you can use your hands to symbolically represent them. For example, I might say we are totally different from them, using my left hand when I say “we” and my right hand when I say “them.” This is a great way to put distance between two things.
Congruence refers to the relationship between the verbal and nonverbal components of a message. Communication is congruent if both channels agree. It is incongruent if they send conflicting messages such as when a person shakes his head from side to side and says, "Yes." Nonverbal cues are more accurate than verbal messages - especially regarding attitude and intent.
Any time we bring our hands in towards our heart or chest, we usually want to indicate to ourselves. I have even heard sneaky speaking coaches tell candidates to point towards themselves when talking about anything positive… use it carefully!
You often bounce your feet when you're happy or excited. Bouncing or tapping feet are whatprofessional poker players refer to as happy feet. A high confidence tell that a player's hand is strong. Now you may be sending the same signal in a business negotiation when you feel you're getting a good deal. But if your bouncing feet suddenly go still, it could be a sign that you're unsure or waiting to see what will happen next, the equivalent of holding your breath.Your feet point to where you'd rather be.
It's interesting to watch how people's feet turn away from situations they want to avoid and point in the direction they'd prefer to be. So if you're speaking with a co-worker who seems to be paying attention, who's upper body is angled towards you but who's feet have turned toward the door, realize that she's sending you a message. She may be politely answering your questions, but her feet are telling you she'd rather be somewhere else. Your stance sends a message of confidence or insecurity.
Feet say a lot about your self confidence. When you stand with your feet close together, you seem unsure or timid. When you stand with your legs crossed, you look insecure. And when you shift your weight from foot to foot you look anxious. But when you widen your stance and evenly distribute your weight on both feet, you look more solid and sure of yourself. Here's a tip for using your feet when giving your next presentation. If you walk when you speak you'll get people's attention. But don't move while making a crucial comment.
You have the most impact when you combine movement with physical pauses in which you stand absolutely still to highlight your most important points.
Stakes are high
Opinions vary
Emotions run strong
Notice when
Safety is at risk
Silence
Violence
Make it safe
Mutual Purpose
Mutual Respect
Step out/stop
CRIB
Commit – Recognize – Invent - Brainstorm
Have you ever needed to vent. Human-nature; about maintaining control over those situations.
Have you ever needed to vent. Human-nature; about maintaining control over those situations.