WoW 2016 - Bryan Stewart - Final - 08.10.16
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WoW 2016 - Bryan Stewart - Final - 08.10.16
- 1. 1 Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout? Critical thinking about the impacts of what you say and how you say it. Wild on Wounds 2016 Las Vegas, NV 09.03.16 Bryan J. Stewart #WOW16WTBC
- 2. Learning Objectives 1. General understanding of the impacts of verbal and non-verbal communications. 2. Explore and share knowledge, tools and techniques to help you improve and optimize your communication effectiveness. 3. Have some fun together. 2#WOW16WTBC
- 4. What are we going to cover today? Number I. The Basics Number II. Body Language & Non-Verbal Communication Number III. Listening Number IV. The Power of Words Number V. Issue Clearing Model Number VI. Crucial Conversations Model 4#WOW16WTBC
- 7. Why it matters. “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” - George Bernard Shaw 7#WOW16WTBC
- 8. Elements of Effective Communication • What You Say ~ One Way vs Two Way ~ Words Matter • How You Say It ~ Four Communication Styles ~ Body Language (Yours and Theirs) • How You Receive ~ Active Listening ~ Empathy 8#WOW16WTBC
- 9. Verbal vs Non-Verbal More than 65% of our communications are non- verbal… > 35% of our communications come from the words that we speak > 65% “Communication consists of both verbal and non-verbal signals. As a result, humans are continuously communicating not just thoughts, ideas, and opinions but also feelings and emotions.” - Morreale, Spitzberg & Barge, 2001 9#WOW16WTBC
- 10. Listening • Active • Passive • Empathy 10#WOW16WTBC
- 11. 11 Communication is hard. You can improve if you invest the time and effort. Key Points #WOW16WTBC
- 12. 12 Body Language & Non-Verbal Communication PART II.❶ #WOW16WTBC
- 13. Why it matters. Actions > Words 13#WOW16WTBC
- 17. The 5 Power Poses The Table Cross Megaphone 17#WOW16WTBC
- 19. Fake It Until You Make It • Power Posing ~ Mental ~ Physical • Try It ~ Before ~ During ~ After 19#WOW16WTBC
- 20. Common Poses and Gestures “This and That” 20#WOW16WTBC
- 21. Common Poses and Gestures “Open Wide” 21#WOW16WTBC
- 22. Common Poses and Gestures “The Triangle” aka “The Mr. Wonderful” 22#WOW16WTBC
- 23. Common Poses and Gestures “Knife Hands” “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” U.S. Marine General James “Mad Dog” Mattis 23#WOW16WTBC
- 24. Common Poses and Gestures “All About Me” 24#WOW16WTBC
- 25. Common Poses and Gestures “Open and Up” 25#WOW16WTBC
- 26. Common Poses and Gestures What do you see? 26#WOW16WTBC
- 27. Common Poses and Gestures The Hand Spectrum 27#WOW16WTBC
- 28. Common Poses and Gestures Hands Matter 28#WOW16WTBC
- 29. Common Poses and Gestures Hands Matter 29#WOW16WTBC
- 30. Common Poses and Gestures The Power of the Feet • Kicking • Crossing • Pointing 30#WOW16WTBC
- 34. 34 Actions > Words Find and use a “mirror”. Key Points #WOW16WTBC
- 35. Potential Mistakes • Negative Default • No Context Consideration • All in One • No Know Baseline • Blasting Biases 35#WOW16WTBC
- 36. What about you? Examples • Misunderstood • Common Traps 36#WOW16WTBC
- 38. Active Listening • Illusion of 1st Words • Check Yourself • Strive to Understand 38#WOW16WTBC
- 39. 39 The Power of Words PART IV.❶ #WOW16WTBC
- 40. I am sorry. Three Little Words 40#WOW16WTBC
- 41. Please forgive me. Three Little Words 41#WOW16WTBC
- 42. How are you (really)? Three Little Words 42#WOW16WTBC
- 43. 43 Words matter. How they are delivered matters. Key Points #WOW16WTBC
- 44. 44 Issue Clearing Model PART V.❶ #WOW16WTBC
- 45. Issue Clearing Model 1. I have an issue I’d like to clear with you. Is now a good time? 2. The specific facts are….. 3. I think….my judgment is….my opinion is…. 4. I feel…. 5. My part in this is…. 6. And what I specifically want is…. 45#WOW16WTBC
- 46. Issue Clearing Model 7. Let me see if I understand you….what I hear is…. 8. Is that accurate…..am I on target? 9. Is there more? 10. Are we clean and clear about this? 46#WOW16WTBC
- 47. Issue Clearing Model • About being heard, not necessarily about resolving the issue. • You can never negotiate with emotion. 47#WOW16WTBC
- 48. 48 Crucial Conversations Model (CCM) PART VI.❶ #WOW16WTBC
- 49. The CCM 1. Definition Discussion between two or more people. 2. Dialogue The free flow of meaning between two or more people. 49#WOW16WTBC
- 50. The CCM 3. Purpose • Fill the pool • Better meaning = better outcome 4. Start with yourself • What do you really want and not want? 50#WOW16WTBC
- 51. The CCM 5. Notice when safety is at risk 6. Make it safe 7. Mastering stories 8. Dialogue to action 51#WOW16WTBC
- 52. The CCM 9. Tips and tricks • Waiting doesn’t usually help • Works in all directions • Look for patterns • Practice zooming out 52#WOW16WTBC
- 53. 53 Tools are only good if you use them. Key Points #WOW16WTBC
- 54. Summary Number I. The Basics Number II. Body Language Number III. Listening Number IV. The Power of Words Number V. Issue Clearing Model Number VI. Crucial Conversations Model 54#WOW16WTBC
- 56. Find a “Mirror” Ask someone to be your mirror, maybe at home and/or at work. • Do an audit. ~ What are you saying without talking? ~ Are you congruent? • Agree on a sign. 1. ChallengeHOW? 56#WOW16WTBC
- 57. Three Words 2. Challenge HOW? 57 Think about people in your life that can benefit by the power of your three words. • Try it. ~ How did you feel? ~ How did they respond? • Repeat as often as needed/possible. #WOW16WTBC
- 58. Clear One 3. Challenge HOW? 58 Think about someone that you need to get “clean and clear” with. • Map it out. ~ Use the framework to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. ~ Just do it. • Repeat as often as needed/possible. #WOW16WTBC
- 59. Bryan J. Stewart bryan.stewart@healogics.com 904.416.6565 Let’s Connect bryanjstewart bjstewart 59#WOW16WTBC
- 60. Clear One Stay wild and I hope to see you next year! 60
Editor's Notes
- You are here: Home / Character Development / Increase Your Performance by Changing Your Posture Increase Your Performance by Changing Your Posture BY DR SHEN-LI LEE inShare1 Did you know you can improve your performance just by changing your body language? If you modify your body language by changing your facial expression or adjusting your pose, you can alter your body’s physiology and that can affect how you feel and how well you perform. Here’s the clincher: you can make yourself feel a certain way without having to pretend to feel that way. I thought it was a pretty good lesson to teach our children because it will give them a tool for managing how they feel in a given situation. Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are… I have read this before and I have used it with success on Aristotle, so it was with great interest that I watched Amy Cuddy explaining the effect of power poses on TEDTalks: Just by changing our posture for 2 minutes and adopting a “power pose” – standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – we can change our body chemistry, how we feel, and possibly improve our chances for success. The high-power posers showed a nearly 20 percent increase in testosterone (the dominance hormone) and a 25 percent decrease in cortisol (the stress hormone). The low-power posers saw a 10 percent decline in testosterone and a 17 percent increase in cortisol. Cuddy says, “These two-minute changes (in body stance) lead to hormonal changes that can configure your brain to be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress reactive and feeling shut down.” – Huffington Post Power posing is linked to: better performance greater confidence reduced stress more assertive behavior
- Whenever you want to separate two different ideas or things, you can use your hands to symbolically represent them. For example, I might say we are totally different from them, using my left hand when I say “we” and my right hand when I say “them.” This is a great way to put distance between two things.
- Congruence refers to the relationship between the verbal and nonverbal components of a message. Communication is congruent if both channels agree. It is incongruent if they send conflicting messages such as when a person shakes his head from side to side and says, "Yes." Nonverbal cues are more accurate than verbal messages - especially regarding attitude and intent.
- Any time we bring our hands in towards our heart or chest, we usually want to indicate to ourselves. I have even heard sneaky speaking coaches tell candidates to point towards themselves when talking about anything positive… use it carefully!
- You often bounce your feet when you're happy or excited. Bouncing or tapping feet are whatprofessional poker players refer to as happy feet. A high confidence tell that a player's hand is strong. Now you may be sending the same signal in a business negotiation when you feel you're getting a good deal. But if your bouncing feet suddenly go still, it could be a sign that you're unsure or waiting to see what will happen next, the equivalent of holding your breath.Your feet point to where you'd rather be. It's interesting to watch how people's feet turn away from situations they want to avoid and point in the direction they'd prefer to be. So if you're speaking with a co-worker who seems to be paying attention, who's upper body is angled towards you but who's feet have turned toward the door, realize that she's sending you a message. She may be politely answering your questions, but her feet are telling you she'd rather be somewhere else. Your stance sends a message of confidence or insecurity. Feet say a lot about your self confidence. When you stand with your feet close together, you seem unsure or timid. When you stand with your legs crossed, you look insecure. And when you shift your weight from foot to foot you look anxious. But when you widen your stance and evenly distribute your weight on both feet, you look more solid and sure of yourself. Here's a tip for using your feet when giving your next presentation. If you walk when you speak you'll get people's attention. But don't move while making a crucial comment. You have the most impact when you combine movement with physical pauses in which you stand absolutely still to highlight your most important points.
- Stakes are high Opinions vary Emotions run strong
- Notice when Safety is at risk Silence Violence Make it safe Mutual Purpose Mutual Respect Step out/stop CRIB Commit – Recognize – Invent - Brainstorm
- Have you ever needed to vent. Human-nature; about maintaining control over those situations.
- Have you ever needed to vent. Human-nature; about maintaining control over those situations.