"When family is in stabbed way of life, community too follows, and so does the society." - PåuLīno Wīllīamz

1. HAPPY MARRIAGE
1. Introduction
Marriage is the intimate union and equal partnership of
a man and a woman. Cases of divorce have become so
common today that more and more people are
becoming skeptical about the possibility of maintaining
a happy marital relationship. Marriage calls for love,
patience and understanding from both partners and as
much as marriage is between two people, it is important
to note that it also involves family and even relatives.

2. 2. Basics of a Happy Marriage.
a. Respect.
Acknowledge each other’s roles in the marriage.
Recognize and appreciate each other’s efforts. No
matter how tempted we may be, don't be quick to
point out the negatives in your partner. Focus
instead on the good (the positives).

3. b. Pay attention to your partner.
Listen to partner when speak. Acknowledge them
if they have a new look or went out of their way to
do something different. A simple smile will go a
long way. “Always give an active attention”.
c. Give each other some privacy.
Don't interfere too much in every little thing your
partner does. This could cause uncalled for
arguments that will ultimately bring stress into the
marriage.

4. d. Avoid very close relationships with the opposite sex .
Behavior such as flirting can create mistrust and lead
your partner to feel insecure. This could strain the
marriage.
e. Be positive and focus on the future.
As much as it is important to learn from past mistakes,
don't dwell on the mistakes. Say kind and positive
uplifting words to your partner. Constantly pointing out
the weaknesses in your partner and keeping a record of
all that they did wrong in days past can lead to low self
esteem and cause strain in the marital relationship.

5. d. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Being together at all times and knowing each other too
much can create irritation and tension. Spending some
time apart gives both partners a chance to miss each
other’s company and presence and value what they have.
It is important of course to not spend too much time apart.
e. Don’t be selfish.
Always endeavor to do more for your partner as opposed
to always expecting them to always be the more giving
one. Be supportive and helpful to each other. Always
putting the other person's needs and feelings into
consideration.

6. 3. Show Care and Kindness.
So, you are kind and caring towards others no need to
be the same towards your partner. After all, you
married them. Right? Your partner requires this more
than anyone else in your life. Most people dream of
getting married only once in their lifetime. However
sometimes things tend to go wrong. Trusting,
respecting and loving your partner will teach you to be
kind towards them. When both partners follow these
golden rules of marriage, they create a path to an
everlasting happy marriage.

7. BE SWEET
a. Appreciate your partner.
Never take your partner for granted. Never allow anger
to blind you. Avoid being abusive verbally, physically
or sexually. Understand how much being mean to your
partner hurts them and avoid it.
b. Be quick to forgive.
The greatest act of love is forgiveness. Regardless of
what your partner has done in the past, be generous to
forgive. Hold no grudges and let bygones be bygones.
By doing this, you create a hope for a greater future
together.

8. 4. Benefits of being kind and caring.
a. It satisfies your partner’s emotional needs.
When you are kind and caring, you become keen to
their needs. You also become alert and are able to
assist them when they need you.
b. It creates a positive atmosphere for your marriage life.
Being kind and caring enhances the intimacy between
you and your partner. It also increases the joy in the
marriage and both of you begin to appreciate each
other more.

9. 5. Friendship and Romance.
A happy lasting marriage takes continuous
maintenance. It requires work. Couples must
learn values especially love, respect and
patience to maintain the marriage. Both
partners share the responsibility of being
friends and lovers to have a happy marriage.
Here are some tips on how to do that you:

10. a. Avoid having bad fights.
There's good fight and a bad one. When you are friends with
your partner, you know the difference. Never make things
worse. Avoid starting a quarrel if the problem is small. If
you do so, be quick to apologize. Dragging the matter too
long will only make it worse and harder to fix later.
b. Create intimacy rituals.
Take nothing for granted. Simple things such as greeting
your partner and asking about their day makes all the
difference. Show that you are happy to see your partner after
being apart all day. Just as you would if you saw your
friends. This will create a positive energy in the home and
raise the intimacy levels.

11. c. Spend quality time together.
In spite of your busy schedule at work, be careful not to
neglect your partner's need to be with you. Take some time
to talk about small matters whether family or work. This
will build friendship thus reducing the chances of a divorce.
d. Offer pleasure not pain.
Everything you or your partner does will change things in
the relationship. Either positively or negatively. If the
situation changes for worse, do something to make it better.
Even if it wasn't your fault. Don't look the other way or act
like it’s not your problem. Your partner is your best friend
and he/she needs you to help make things better.

12. 6. Engage in Good Fights not Bad Ones.
Bad fights can be triggered by anger. Bad fights
can involve physical or verbal fights as well as
silent fights where you ignore each other for some
time to. These bad fights can easily destroy a
marriage.

13. Dos and Don’ts when fighting.
i. Do not point fingers.
Avoid using the word “You" during fights. Instead, use
words that show how you feel. Do not blame your partner
for everything. Look at your own mistakes first before
pointing a finger.
ii. Pick your fights.
Do not fight over petty issues. Don't fight just for the sake.
This can hurt the marriage over time. Let your partner
know what he/she is doing that annoys you or makes you
unhappy and then find a solution together instead of
keeping things bottled up.

14. iii. Do not raise past issues.
Always stay on point. Focus on the issue at hand.
Raising past issues will only create tension between
you and your partner. If it is in the past, forgive and
keep it buried.
iv. Be mindful of your tone, language and actions.
Do not be quick to raise your voice to your partner.
Avoid foul language and name calling as this will
lower your partner's self esteem. If you must, walk
away to prevent a nasty fight.

15. v. Pick the right time to fight just.
Do not bring up unpleasant issues when your partner
is totally worn out from a hard day at work or when
they are under pressure from work.
vi. Be flexible to resolve fights.
Assist young partner in things they feel they can't
find in you. Always take lessons from your mistakes.
As much as possible, never go to bed mad. Fix your
issues before that so that the following day is not
shadowed by ill feelings of the previous day.

16. 7. Create intimacy rituals.
Intimacy plays a great role in a marital relationship. Sexual
relations and the feeling of love experienced during intimate
moments between a couples create oneness and closeness. It is the
responsibility of both partners to come up with intimacy rituals.
Here are a few rituals we can look into.
i. Remain good looking.
Be a sight for sore eyes. Attract your partner's attention by your
appearance. Change things up a bit every now and then. You
could wear a new hair do or just dress out of ordinary. Wear a
little make up even for something as simple as a coffee date with
your husband.

17. ii. Do re-creational stuff together.
This could be a short walk in the park together, cycling,
hiking, jogging or going for a morning run together. By
exercising, you can both maintain your physical and
mental health as well as create a tighter bond as you join in
each other’s daily routine.
iii. Exchange romantic messages while at work.
Send a text or an email while at work just to say "I love
you" or "I miss you". Better yet, call your partner up from
work and say some beautiful words. With these positive
gestures, you will touch your partner's heart and gain
his/her admiration.

18. iv. Take turns rubbing each other’s feet or messaging their back.
After a hard day at work, nothing sounds better than a nice
massage or foot rub. While doing this for your partner up,
chit chat with your spouse about their day as you flirt.
v. Snuggle with your partner when watching TV.
You and your partner may choose to view different shows
on TV, computer or smart phone but still try to understand
what your partner is watching. Sit or cuddle with them.
This will create a warm feeling between the two of you.

19. 8. Keeping your marriage together.
When marriage vows are exchanged, it is a commitment
to stay together for life. It is hard to maintain a marriage
if one or both partners are not fully in it. Marriage
however involves more than just two people. That is
why keeping a marriage together is so vital.

20. Here are some reasons that should motivate
you to stay in your marriage.
i. Honor.
People that are married and have wedding rings on receive a lot
of respect from their peers and other people in the community.
Many hold your loyalty to your partner in high regard.
ii. Consider your children.
With marriage comes starting a family. If things don't work out
between you and your partner, your children are the most
affected. They may be too young to understand what's
happening but they will feel the sense of being lost and void
most especially if the parents decide to put their own feelings
first.

21. iii. Minimize health risk.
Being loyal to your partner keeps you grounded and
prevents you from getting into risky sexual relationships
with other people. This prevents problems related to sexual
intercourse.
iv. Satisfaction.
You will ultimately have an easier and more content life
when your partner sticks with you through it all. You know
that your partner will always have your back and they will
be there to see you through stressful situations and to offer
advice and suggestions to help you better yourself.

22. 9. Final Words.
Staying married takes work. Love and care makes
marriage easier. Being there for each other emotionally,
physically and mentally. Let’s Support each other and
help each other progress in life. When both of us are
content, our marriage will be a blissful one.