Really Bad design advice

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When it comes to design – for websites, print media, and user experience – there is good advice and bad advice. Today, we would like to present some of the worst advice ever recorded. If you see some of yourself in these examples, it might be time to seek professional help. For design solutions see great tips from SEO.com

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Really Bad design advice

  1. DESIGN Really Bad Advice
  2. Brought to You byd-
  3. This is a medley of expert advice…
  4. passed on by the masters…
  5. to define the quintessential finesse of design.
  6. Cue the drumroll...
  7. “Always use Microsoft Word. It is the best design software available!” Amazing Chunk of Advice #1
  8. Don’t fall for the Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign ruse. This software is named after a primative manure-packed mud brick. So un-designer-ish!
  9. Found online design apps like Gimp, Pixlr, and Pic Monkey? Approach with caution. In fact, stay away! Why? They are FREE! Which means they can’t be trusted. At least Microsoft Word costs like $100. That means it is real and probably better with design stuff.
  10. Plus, Microsoft Word works wonders with images! …Well, I guess you wouldn’t know that, based on the title…
  11. “Choose exceptional stock photography.” Amazing Chunk of Advice #2
  12. Here are a few easy tips on how to pick great stock photography. Just look for the following trusty traits:
  13. Choose models who are gazing off into the distance. This prompts viewers to ask themselves, “What were they thinking?”
  14. Ah, here is another great example of gazing off into the distance. Nice. Very meditative.
  15. It is also important to choose images that have a very clear positive vibe. I’m loving the enthusiastic thumbs up. This just screams “positive”.
  16. Also, take note of the composition. The background models are standing in a natural triangular formation. This ads to the reality of the shot.
  17. Also, the white background is a post-modern interpretation of the reality of their clean, steril work environment. On-site photography just doesn’t achieve the same effect.
  18. Next, be sure to choose the classic handshake photo. This represents unity, relationships and business all at once. Never pass up this essential icon of professionalism.
  19. An added bonus is that this composition calls for contemplation about where the rest of the table went and why those hands appear to come out of nowhere. Facinating!
  20. “Learn to mold images to fit your needs.” Amazing Chunk of Advice #3
  21. Ok. Back to Microsoft Word. We will be using this sophisticated software to manipulate images so that they can work in any situation, or in this case, an ad. See as follows… Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  22. Have a photo that needs to take up more horizontal real estate? No problem! Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  23. Voila! An easy fix! All you have to do is resize the image by dragging one of the sides without holding the shift key. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  24. The shift key maintains the proportions of the image, so we want to make sure to avoid that. This looks great, don’t you think? Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  25. This process works the other way around too. If your image is just too big, you can make it smaller. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  26. Easy! Now let’s say you need the image to be bigger than it is originally. That’s an easy fix too. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  27. Just drag out the image until it is as big as you like. If you notice any pixelation, don’t worry. The 8-bit pixel art look is all the rage right now. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  28. Just drag out the image until it is as big as you like. If you notice any pixelation, don’t worry. The 8-bit pixel art look is all the rage right now.
  29. “Make chic, professional-looking typography.” Amazing Chunk of Advice #4
  30. Always use more than three fonts in your design. Variety is key here. It keeps things interesting. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  31. In fact, make sure to use Papyrus, Comic Sans, and Hobo. Those are the staple fonts. Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  32. Next add bright-colored gradients… Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  33. Then beveled edges… Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  34. Then add some dark drop shadows. Lovely! Now your typography looks professional! Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  35. “Make your design POP!” Amazing Chunk of Advice #5
  36. Now it is time to put everything together. A photo will make this layout really POP!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  37. Perfect! When you put text on top of the photo you leave room for more stuff!!! Great! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  38. It is important to fill in that negative space so we aren’t wasting real estate. Eliminating gaps in your design will also help the eye move throughout the piece more smoothly. Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!!
  39. Lovely! Now, we just have to make the design POP! The best way to do this is simple. Just make EVERYTHING bigger!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Fastest, easiest, safest way… Guarenteed!!!! As a special bonus, we will also include a cabbage chopper… Free!
  40. Wow! This is great! Everything really POPs! This is a design masterpiece! Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Call today and you will get the original dodecaphonic extrapolator for only $19.95!!!! Fastest, easiest, safest way… Guarenteed!!!! As a special bonus, we will also include a cabbage chopper… Free!
  41. “Most importantly of all, always go with your gut feeling!” Amazing Chunk of Advice #6
  42. When it comes to making design decisions, there are two fatty tissue organs that compete for the role of top decision-maker:
  43. …The Brain and the Gut. Brain & Gut
  44. The brain, which regulates things like facts, know-how, creativity, principles, analysis, and comprehension, is overrated when it comes to making design decisions. Brain
  45. Brain Design should be instinctive, so there is no need for educated decisions here.
  46. Gut Instead you need to turn to the fatty neighbor down south for help. The gut simply knows best.
  47. Gut The gut is the source of both indigestion and intuition. Gut feelings may seem whimsical, nonsensical, bizarre, idiotic or irregular, but you can rest assured that they are always right.
  48. So make sure to dodge brainiac tendencies and let the gut get things moving. You’ll be sure to end up with a gut-feeling product. Brain & Gut
  49. The End Brought to You by
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