マーク・ピーターセン教授に学ぶ英文エッセイ講座―Thinking About Language And About Writing In English

Thinking about Language and about Writing in English Mark Petersen教授に学ぶ英文エッセイ講座 2009年11月29日東京主催・アイ・オズモシス

このPower Pointは、2009年11月29日に東京で行なわれたマーク教授の英語エッセイ講座をもとにしています。「アイ・オズモシス英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト2009」に一般投稿された英文エッセイ・評論の中から、優秀なノミネート作品を素材にして、コンテスト審査委員長のマーク教授が日本人によくある英語ミスを解説しました。コンテストの概要、ノミネート作品のオリジナル英文は公式ブログをご覧下さい。

For most people whose native language is Japanese, the main problems encountered in writing in English involve...

But for the best-essay-contest entrants, the most immediately conspicuous problem was:

例文から学びましょう。

I couldn’t believe [it] when I found out something is happening …

… her happy marriage ended in 1945, when a letter arrived to inform that her beloved husband bravely died for the country ….

Grandma’s wrinkled hand passed me two silver coins. There is no shopping tax. 200 yen is enough for two cups of shaved ice.

200 yen is not enough to buy them, now that the shopping tax was introduced, but I can cover that with my own money now. When I close my eyes, I could still see Grandma’s small hands, those extremely wrinkled hands, taking out two silver coins for me.

I feel that his anxiety and sadness were beyond our imagination.

Then, did he bear a grudge against humans? No, he did never although the atomic bomb robbed him of his family and his health. Did he, then, bear a grudge against humans? No, he never did, even though the atomic bomb had robbed him of his family and his health.

It was raining when my brother went to the hospital. We planned to meet beforehand near the hospital. He came at exactly the meeting time.

He seemed to be waiting us. Maybe my mother told him about his son’s visiting. He seemed to be waiting for us. Maybe my mother had told him about his son’s intending to visit.

When I came back to the room, my father and brother did not talk. However, there was a mood of reconciliation. When I came back into the room, my father and brother were not talking. There was, however, a mood of reconciliation.

In August, my father has recovered from serious condition. In August, my father recovered from his [the] serious illness.

Born as an illegitimate child, at a mere 15 years of age she is heartlessly married off to a brutal and much older man after her mother died.

I prepared a memorandum with illustrations so that he can understand how to switch these equipments on, but, unfortunately, he could not find where the memo was. … so that he could understand how to switch the equipment on, but, unfortunately, he could not find the memo [it].

However, I was not brave enough to tell him my feelings. Our relationship had not changed till summer when we were in 3rd grade of junior high. It was very sudden when I got a phone call from him. However, I was not brave enough to tell him my feelings. Our relationship did not change till the summer of our 3rd year in junior high. ….

Since then, I could not forget him.

Some Other Problems...

The rest of Christians who escaped the persecution hid themselves in order to observe faith during Edo period. The Christians who escaped the persecution hid themselves in order to be able to continue practicing their faith, and they remained hidden throughout the Edo period.

I called my brother from the public telephone at the hospital.

Set in the turbulent modern Afghanistan in the city Kabul ….

In the summer of 2004, I went to a Coming of Age Ceremony held in my hometown.

When the documentary “Born Into Brothels” was first put on the screen in year 2004, it shook the world.

Summer is the hardest season for aged people, and their family should help them.

At that time, some of my friends criticized me for my decision. I have no objection against their advices. I have no objection to their advice.

Intransitive Verbs Used As If They Were Transitive

… it’s wonderful to wait person who needs us. He seemed to be waiting us.

仮定法 The Subjunctive Mood

I wish you who saw this essay read his writing, visited Nagasaki, and prayed for others and world peace with love. I wish you who are reading this essay would read his writing, (would) visit Nagasaki, and , (would) pray with love for others and world peace. I hope you who are reading this essay will read his writing, (will) visit Nagasaki, and , (will) pray with love for others and world peace.

Other Inappropriate Verb Usage

The passage was connected the ward that my father stayed to the entrance of the hospital. The passage connected the ward that my father was staying in to the entrance of the hospital.

It was in the winter of 2005 that we knew my father was seriously ill.

I pretended to go to take the towel, and went out of the room because my mother had asked me to make enough time for them to talk with. My mother had asked me to give them enough time to talk, so I left the room, pretending to be going out to get a towel.

It is a book that bridges the Western world with the Middle-eastern world, allowing the reader to realize the universality of people despite their social and political circumstances. It is a book that creates a bridge between the Western world and the Middle-eastern world, helping the reader realize the universality that exists among people despite differences in their social and political circumstances.

It was the end of summer during 1st grade in high school when I noticed our relationship ended. It was at the end of the summer during my 1st year in high school when I realized our relationship had ended.

He writes that the childish girl looked more matured because she acted like a little kid ….

懸垂分詞:主節の主語を意味上の主節の主語を意味上の主語としないとしない分詞構文主語としない分詞構文 Dangling Participles

Physically and emotionally abused by her devious husband, the reader cannot help being pained yet also impressed by Maraim’s endurance. Maraim has been physically and emotionally abused by her devious husband, and the reader cannot help being pained yet also impressed by her endurance.

前置詞 Prepositions

At an obscure corner of my large bookshelf, I find my high school yearbook. In a corner of my large bookshelf, ….

Laila, born a generation after Maraim, is not without her own grievances, brought forth on Part Two. Her parents were killed in a bomb when she was just 14 ….

関係詞節 Relative Clauses

Dr. Nagai who is the author of the book is often criticized. Dr. Nagai, who is the author of the book, is often criticized.

限定と非限定：基本的な限定と非限定：基本的な使い分け

The passengers who were American citizens were all taken off the plane and arrested. （アメリカ国籍の乗客はみな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕されたアメリカ国籍アメリカ国籍の乗客はみな飛行機からろされ、逮捕されたはみな飛行機から降された）というと、降ろされず、逮捕されていない乗客もいたということになるのに対して、カンマ有りの The passengers, who were American citizens, were all taken off the plane and arrested. は、「乗客は（全員アメリカ国籍だったが）みな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕された乗客は全員アメリカ国籍だったが）みな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕された」ということに乗客アメリカ国籍だったが飛行機からされたなります。カンマ無しで｢乗客の中にいたアメリカ人だけ｣と限定しているカンマ無カンマ限定している限定している英語とは違って、カンカンマ有りの方は「ちなみに」といった感じで、乗客について｢みなアメリカ人だった｣という情報を付け加えているだけで、何の限定もしていないのです。限定もしていない限定もしていない

関係代名詞とそのロジカルな関係代名詞とそのロジカルな世界とそのロジカル

制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）教科書にられる教と教科書に見られる教え方（１） Alice likes soft drinks. ＋ Soft drinks are sweet. → Alice likes soft drinks which are sweet.（×）（（アリスは、甘い味のするソフトドリンクが好きです）先行詞＋関係代名詞＋形容詞節 → Alice likes soft drinks, which are sweet.（○）（先行詞＋コンマ＋関係代名詞＋形容詞節

制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）教科書にられる教と教科書に見られる教え方（２） Some soft drinks are sweet. ＋ Alice likes soft drinks of that kind. → Alice likes soft drinks which are sweet. （○）（アリスは、甘い味のするソフトドリンクだけだけが好きです）だけ先行詞＋関係代名詞＋形容詞節

冠詞と冠詞と数の可能性

The Possibilities for “Pure Countables”: ○ I have found a way to contact her. ○ I have found the way to contact her. ○ I have found ways to contact her. ○ I have found the ways to contact her. × I have found way to contact her.

Nouns that can be used as both “countables” and “uncountables” a metal 例: Silver is a metal. the metal 例: The metal that she likes most is platinum. metals 例: Platinum, silver, and gold are all metals. the metals 例: The metals that she likes most are platinum, silver, and gold. metal 例: Almost all of these products contain metal.

時制にする典型的な時制に関する典型的な問題典型的

1. Lack of understanding of the present tense with “action verbs” as expressing “habitual, repeated activity.” Easy to understand: CABARET（『キャバレー』） SALLY: Maybe you just don't sleep with girls. Oh! You don't! Not so easy to understand: THE GRADUATE（『卒業』） MRS. ROBINSON: What do you drink, bourbon? 2. Lack of distinction between past and present perfect They (have) signed a contract with ....

マーク教授がブログで質問を受付中。マーク教授がブログで質問を受付中。教授締切2009年12月31日）（締切年月日ご質問はEメールでこちらまで。質問はメールでこちらまで。メールでこちらまで

マーク・ピーターセン著「日本人の英語」岩波新書綿貫陽マーク・ピーターセン著「表現のための実践ロイヤル英文法」旺文社

例文に使ったオリジナルエッセイの全文は、アイ・オズモシス、コンテスト公式ブログからご覧下さい。

明治大学経済学部教授。アイ・オズモシスのアドバイザー。日本語と英語の深い知識を元に、日本人がおかしやすい英語の間違いを鋭く指摘する、日本人英語の権威。ロングセラーの新書「日本人の英語」は日本人学習者の必読本。また、「表現のための実践ロイヤル英文法」も、文法を本気で学びたい人には必読。

アイ・アイ・オズモシス英語エッセイ評論コンテストエッセイ・英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト 2009 アイ・オズモシス英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト2009は、マーク・ピーターセン教授を審査委員長に迎え、2009年8月～9月の2ヶ月にわたって開催されました。今回は、応募総数101作品の中から、審査委員会の投票と、公式ブログで読者投票を行ない優秀作品を決定しました。あなたのコンテスト2010への参加をお待ちしています。詳細はブログから。

英文ライティング教育のアイ・オズモシスアイ・オズモシスは、英文ライティング教育専門のオンライン・スクールです。オンラインの英語ライティング講座やセミナー、英語ライティングコンテストやイベントなど、日本人の英語ライティング力向上を目標にさまざまな教育活動を展開しています。

Thank you!

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マーク・ピーターセン教授に学ぶ英文エッセイ講座―Thinking About Language And About Writing In English

by Ai Kanoh on behalf of i-osmosis on Dec 14, 2009

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マーク・ピーターセン教授に学ぶ英文エッセイ講座―Thinking About Language And About Writing In English — Presentation Transcript